Welcome back brothers, today we continue our month-long exploration of indomitable self-confidence. Last week I introduced you to the three pillars of indomitable self-confidence and discussed the first of these pillars, the cognition pillar. In this episode, I discuss the second pillar which is the emotion pillar. I want to remind you all about the nature of emotions. Emotions exist in the realm of form and because they come from the brain, they are tangible chemicals and send messages to the body to act. This brings us back to the universal truth, that thoughts create feelings and those feelings drive action.
Emotions exist as one of the three pillars that form indomitable self-confidence. In exploring this pillar I wish to introduce you, brothers, to the concept that you are not your feelings. It is true that feelings indeed form part of the universal truth that informs your human experience, but this does not mean you are what you feel. In no way does this mean that we should be robots. In fact, I wish to emphasize that emotions are an essential part of the human experience, if we are here on earth to do anything it is to experience life, and emotions are integral to our experiences. After all, when life is good it comes from an emotional experience where we feel good.
Our emotions are not stagnant and as our language has grown and evolved so have our feelings. This is because of the simple fact that the more we increase our vocabulary to describe things and feelings, it grows our capacity for describing the specificity of our emotions, from its variation in form to different levels of intensity. As we come to better understand that our emotions are a product of the mind it is important to remember that you cannot control the emotions of others. You need to allow them to feel whatever they need to feel. We all have the capacity to be empathetic, but to be a true empath requires deep self-knowledge. Discovering this self-knowledge is integral to indomitable self-confidence. Join us today as we continue on that journey!
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What You’ll Learn from This Episode:
- The three pillars of indomitable self-confidence.
- Emotions come from the mind.
- Cultivating a state of being where you know the truth of who you are.
- The evolution of language and feelings.
- The concept of universal love.
- Emotions are a gift to the human experience.
- You cannot control the emotions of others.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
ANNOUNCER: Welcome to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast, the only podcast that teaches men the cognitive mastery and alpha mindset that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence. Here’s your host, certified life coach and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud.
[0:00:32.7] KA: What’s up, my brothers? Welcome back to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. I am your host, Kevin Aillaud and the certification course is almost full and I also want to let you guys know that I am doing the level one and the level two certification in the first two classes. Let me quickly explain what I mean by that. In class 001 and 002, I’m combining the level one and the level two certification for the methodology that I teach.
After class 001 and 002, I’m going to be splitting up the level one and the level two curriculum certification courses to make them shorter in duration. The level one will be five months and the level two will be five months and you can take them back-to-back, however, class 001 and 002 are both 12 months because they’re the level one and the level two combined.
If you want to learn the methodology that I use to coach and guide students into self-discovery or if you want to come work with me at the academy, this is the time to invest in your education, your personal development, your self-knowledge and your future because there is still time and spots available in class 001 and I am enrolling for class 002 as well, which will begin later on this year.
If you want more information on that course, you can check out the video on thealphamalecoach.com website. Now, I want to get right into this episode because it continues from where I left off last week and last week, there was a lot of information and this week, there’s a lot of information and I also want to do a very quick review on what I talked about last week so that we can get into what we’re going to get into in this episode.
[0:02:13.0] First of all, remember, this is indomitable self-confidence month in the academy. All the podcast this month are going to be dedicated to indomitable self-confidence and when it comes to indominable self-confidence, I like to talk about it or I like to describe it using three pillars, kind of if you can imagine, sort of an old roman colosseum style but instead of having 20, 30, 40, hundred pillars, we’re talking three pillars so it’s almost like in a triangle.
There’s a foundation, there’s a base that these pillars rest upon so you get a big, marble slab of base and then on the top, there is a roof or a ceiling that goes on top of these three pillars and so it creates this very stable structure and the foundation or the base, that’s the primary principle. I’m going to do an entire podcast episode on the primary principles.
Essentially, the primary principle is, we are all perfect, everything is perfect, right? You are perfect, I am perfect, the world is perfect, the moment is perfect, everything is perfect. Everything is perfect, everything is one and everything is love. We have this is the primary principle sort of all is all, all is perfect, all is one, all is love.
With that foundation, we can build these three pillars of indomitable self-confidence because without that foundation, without the primary principle, if we were beginning there, if we were beginning with story or beginning with no primary principle then it would be like building on sand. We want to begin with the foundation and that’s where the primary principle comes in. As I said, I’m going to do an entire episode on that later on down the line.
The three pillars are a cognition pillar, which we talked about last week, I introduced to you last week, this week is the emotion pillar and then there’s the action pillar and then on top is another slab of marble, you can call it the roof or the ceiling, which is the slab of self-knowledge. It is the truth, the marble of truth or the ceiling, the roof of truth.
Now, the first pillar, which is what we did last week is the cognition pillar and as you guys know, there is a first process, right? There is a 1.0 process, which is to help you separate your thoughts from facts so that you begin to understand where your beliefs are, where your conditioning is and you can even begin to choose new thoughts to create different results in your life.
[0:04:28.6] This is about the universal truth, this is about the universal truth, this is about the models of alignment and when we do this in the first pillar of indomitable self-confidence, really, what we’re talking about is, the unintentional model of alignment or the unintentional thought, the conditioned thought that is unconscious, that’s preventing self-confidence because it’s probably creating some kind of fear or some kind of anxiety and then we replaced the thought with an intentional model of alignment, so that when we put a new thought in there, we can begin to think a thought that creates feelings of capability, capacity, courage and confidence.
That is kind of that 1.0 first pillar of self-confidence model where we’re creating the stories, we’re building the thoughts. In the 2.0 version, we’re going beyond that, we’re going beyond that to say, “Okay, I can create these thoughts, I can build these thoughts, I can write this program that is going to get the results I’m looking for” but the truth is as I go deeper into self-knowledge, self-discovery, as I go further into the truth, I realized, I am not my thoughts and I can allow my thoughts to be there like clouds going through my mind without engaging with them such that I begin to identify with them, I begin to be the program that’s either written unconsciously or consciously.
That’s very liberating, that’s very freeing that really gets you into a place of being or state of being that is more indomitably self-confident, then it doesn’t matter what thought is triggered. It really doesn’t matter what comes up in your mind due to that confirmation bias from the circumstance or due to a confirmation bias from a result of action.
None of it matters because all the thoughts are just there, they’re floating with you, they’re just sentences in the mind, very neutral and just existing, sort of not engaging, not identifying with them. Now, to get into this episode, we’re going to talk about is the second pillar, which is the emotion pillar.
[0:06:17.7] Emotions themselves are also not you, they are neurotransmitters, they come from your brain, they’re actually tangible chemicals. We can see emotions, brothers. I didn’t know if you knew this. I talked about this on previous podcast but they could have been years ago.
Just to very quickly remind you, emotions themselves are tangible, they’re chemicals, they come from the brain, I say, I use it to neurotransmitter which essentially means brain messenger, neuro from the brain, transmitter means they’re transmitting a message or sending a message and the message they’re sending is, what the mind is thinking, what the brain is thinking, the sentence in the mind, right?
Sending the message to the body to act. This is where we get the universal truth from, universal truth is that thoughts create feelings, feelings drive actions. When the brain has a thoughts, that is believed, it releases a neurotransmitter, it releases a chemical from the brain, into the body and this neurotransmitter emotion will bond with the cells of the body at receptor site, sort of like a keyhole and the neurotransmitter themselves are like keys and they bond with the cells and they enter the cells.
When they go into the cell, that’s where the chemical reaction occurs, that’s where the message is received by the cell and essentially the neurotransmitter tells the cell to do something which is to vibrate, we’re talking about a vibration.
[0:07:36.9] Now, the effect of this vibration is the physiological changes that occur in the body and these physiological changes will range depending on the emotion, right? It might be that your heart rate goes up, it might be that your heart rate goes down, it might be that your respiratory rate goes up or your respiratory rate goes down.
Body temperature, up, down. You might start to sweat, you might start to redirect blood flow, you might start to change your physiology in terms of posture, how you stand, you may begin to retract, you may begin to expand, there’s a lot of different things that can happen in the body as a result of this cellular vibration.
In the end, the cellular vibration drives action. It’s meant to get the bod moving, it’s a messenger and in a very mechanical way, as a cellular machine, the universal truth, when we’re unconscious, when we’re not in our alpha state, we’re just running the program of the mind, we tend to automate this and it becomes very unconscious like a hamster in a wheel, which is running and running and running and running, not really understanding what it is that initiated the running or what is the result of the running.
It’s all really this thought. The emotions are like that mediatory in between, it came from the mind which is the oculus between the true self and the world, the true self and the differentiated human experience and they go into the body, they become a part of the realm of form where we could see them, we can actually see the emotions.
[0:08:59.7] Now, the feelings are different of course and I don’t want to go into the difference between emotions and feelings too much just understand that the emotions are the chemical, they’re the tangible, they’re the neurotransmitter themselves, they’re the thing that comes from the brain and the feeling is the way we subjectify the vibration, it is the chemical reaction.
The emotion is the neurotransmitter and the feeling is the reaction between the neurotransmitter and the cells that we then subjectify. We subjectify with a name but we also call it good or bad, right? Positive, negative, comfortable or uncomfortable.
What I want you guys to understand here is that these vibrations, these feelings, these emotions, they exist in the realm of form. They exist in this human experience. In fact, we look at the universal truth and the model of alignment, the feelings, the vibrations right in our cells, the exactions, the way our machine moves through time and space and then the result of our actions, including the circumstances because that’s what’s happening outside of our body as well.
These are all part of the realm of form. They all come from this differentiated human experience. Thoughts are unique in the universal truth because thoughts are intangible, right? They’re the intangible part of the self that is the mind if them self is differentiated three-part oneness, right? We have the body, the mind, the spirit, the alpha, the beta and the vehicle.
[0:10:24.9] In the realm of the vehicle, we have feelings, actions, results, circumstance. Then in the thought goes in the realm of beta, right? In the realm of the mind. Emotions themselves as a pillar, in the pillar of indomitable self-confidence are even very different than the cognition pillar because they really are closer to the third pillar of action because they exist in the realm of form.
We can do models on this as well, we can do models of alignment on our feelings as well, right. We take a look at this, we can say that there’s the unintentional model coming from an unconscious thought, creating a feeling that we didn’t choose and that may or may not be serving us and then there’s the intentional model, where we learn in the academy through the 1.0 program of deconditioning, you begin to learn the power of the mind and really, the tool of the mind, what the mind is for and you begin to use it for what it’s for so that you can observe and you kind of disintegrate yourself from your conditioning of what you believe to be fact and begin to choose the thoughts that will serve your results, only serving your results through your feelings
In other words, you will feel better, you’ll have a different experience about a certain circumstance, whatever that circumstance is, so we can do that, right? We can look at intentional models and we can look at unintentional models and we can make these. We can choose our experiences, we can choose our feelings and we do this in the academy like I say in the 1.0 curriculum, we do this in a couple of different months in February and then later on in November.
[0:11:50.7] We do contrast of feelings but here in the indomitable self-confidence sort of 2.0 self-discovery or energy mechanics, that next level of understanding, that next level of self-knowledge, I want to introduce you to the idea that you are not your feelings.
Your feelings are a part of the universal truth that gives you a human experience but you are not what you feel. Now, I’ve said that, let me back up and give you a couple of pieces of this concept so we can go a little bit deeper into it and I can expand a little bit on what I intend to introduce or what I’m introducing to you here in this podcast episode, having very specifically to do with that state of being that is indomitable self-confidence that only exist through self-discovery.
I’m not talking about through a reprogramming or an intentional programming of how you want to feel in a given circumstance, in a given event or scenario. I’m talking about a general state of being when you know the truth of who you are. Number one, I am not saying be a robot. Brothers, often, when I tell people or when I coach students when I mention on the podcast or coach my students, I sometimes get the response and understandably so, but I sometimes get the response of, “So, we should just not feel our feelings? We should just be robots?” that is not what I’m saying. I can’t understand why that is heard but this allows me to go deeper into what I’m saying.
[0:13:18.1] I want to emphasize always that the human experience is an emotional one. We are here to feel. Brothers, if we are here to do anything, it is here to experience and we only experience through our emotions. When life is good, it’s because we feel good, right? It’s because of whatever vibrating, whatever vibration’s accruing in our body, a subjectively positive one.
When life is bad, it’s only because and only because whatever experience is vibrating in our body, whatever chemical reaction is occurring in the cells of our machine, we subjectify as bad. That is the only time we label life good or bad. There’s nothing outside of us that is good or bad because everything outside of us is purely objective.
Different people will feel differently about what happens even if they’re looking at the same circumstance because of the way they’re interpreting that circumstance and the experience that they want to receive from it consciously or unconsciously that again, creates the vibrations, the feelings so we are here to experience. We are here to have an emotional human experience. We’re literally here to feel.
I am not saying that we should be robots and that we should not feel our emotions. We are here to experience everything and not just emotionally but physically because we want to be in that physical experience so that we can have the emotional experience through the mind. Through the mind, we can make it mean something from us that gives us that experience. This includes all the ranges and intensities of emotion.
This is the contrast of emotions, brothers. We want to feel all of it. We want to feel the highest highs and the lowest lows and we want to feel all of these emotions fully and without fear, so that’s number one. I want to offer that I’m not saying to be a robot and I am not saying that we are avoiding our emotions. We are not avoiding our emotions, we are not resisting our emotions, we are not reacting to our emotions and we are not becoming some kind of robot that doesn’t feel.
We are not our feelings doesn’t mean that we are not here to feel our feelings. It’s just that we are not the feelings themselves but number two also, recognize that your emotions are not you anymore than your thoughts are not you, right? Your thoughts are not you, your thoughts are coming from your mind. Your mind is a part of you but it’s a differentiated part of you and it becomes a very impersonal part of you or it becomes basically just becomes this impersonal law that we use to create our results.
[0:15:45.1] The thought becomes the results, that’s the basis of the law of cause and effect. That’s the basis of the universal truth, so the mind itself is more of a tool to create reality with. Our emotions are not who we are any more than our thoughts are who we are. Our emotions are also a tool because they are a part of our vehicle and they are here for us. Remember, our thoughts come from our mind but our emotions are a part of our form, they’re part of our body and they are here for us.
We all feel emotions, every single human being on this planet is feeling an emotion. It is a part of the human experience and as I said before, it may be the human experience. There may be no other reason for us to exists as human beings than to feel our emotions. This is a theory right, like the theory that we are here to feel, that we are sentient beings and the only purpose we have is to feel as much and as often as possible but I also want to offer you this.
I want to offer you this thought experiment and it kind of comes to the primary principle and I will give you a little bit of a view into the primary principle episode but imagine all the feeling you could possibly feel. Imagine every single feeling, all of the possible feelings that exists and there are over a thousand of them. As our language evolves, so do our feelings because the more language, the more vocabulary that we create, the more language that we have to describe things, feelings, the more we’re going to have the capacity to be able to describe the variances and intensities and ranges of those feelings.
Right now, with the evolution of human language, in some languages there are over a thousand feelings. I give the guys in the academy a list of over 600 feelings, so look out to work within the, you know, play with during the creation of the models of alignment. There’s lists out there that could go on and on and on. Now, imagine feeling and I’m saying that this is even – there is a boundary here on language that there’s more than thousands of feelings, right?
[0:17:36.7] Just every single tiny sliver of emotion, you could feel every single tiny percentage of a feeling on the highs and on the lows, every single one of them. Imagine feeling all of these feelings at the same time. Now, I know this is a wild thought and it’s just crazy, right? Because it’s like, “Well, what are you saying? You’re saying feel sadness and happiness at the same time?” and not just sadness and happiness but the extremes of happiness and the very minimal amounts of happiness, right?
There’s like intense joy and bliss and slight contentment, right? The entire range of happiness, at the same time, you feel the deepest despair and sadness or like a mild melancholy like a little bluezy. You’ve got the entire range and you feel them all at the same time and it’s not just happy and sad but it is also fear. It’s also love, it’s also everything like excitement and anxiety and all of them, frustration and anger and compassion like everything.
Everything, every single emotion that you can think of you feel at the same time. Now, this is universal love, okay? This is source love, this is what I mean when I say universal love. This is what I mean when I say we are all loved like we are all one, we are all perfect and we are all loved. Everything is perfect, everything is love, everything is one, this is what I mean. It is the feeling of all feelings at the same time or the feeling of all feelings at all times, assuming that we’re talking eternity of time and space.
It is a part of the primary principle that I will explain in another podcast but I want you to imagine feeling all of these feelings all the time, every single feeling you could ever feel simultaneously and then for a short 70 years or so, you become differentiated and you are now in three places at once. You’re in a vehicle, you’re in a mind and you’re in a soul, you’re in a body, right? Your spirit, so you have body, spirit and mind and now, instead of feeling all the feelings at once at the same time for all eternity, you feel them separately based on your mind, based on your thoughts that are in contrast and isolated do to that experience that you choose.
[0:19:46.0] That is the emotion. That is the experience. That is the gift and that is what we have to be grateful for, do you understand brothers? That is the move of being a human being. Being a human being means that we are here to experience all of these feelings separately so that we can know, we can have a taste of each one of them individually. It be like your entire existence for all of eternity. You’ve been eating a bowl of ice cream but this bowl of ice cream is mixed stuff of all of the ice creams that have ever existed.
You take all the ice creams that have ever existed and you whip them up into one bowl and for all of eternity, you have been eating out of these bowl and then you get this chance. This one chance to go for 70 or so years like the blink of an eye in the cosmos, right? A blink of an eye, for 70 years you get to go and you get to find out what it tastes like to try each one of these different kinds of ice creams on their own, all separate. All different, all unique and perfect in themselves.
When they’re all together, when we’re all part of the one, when we’re all part of the love, when we’re all part of the perfection, it’s everything at once. Here as a human being, we have separation. We have differentiation and that is a part and emotions, our feelings are a part of that differentiation. We are not our emotions but they are a part of our vehicle and they are here for us. They are the gift, this is what we experience and this is what we call the human experience. Okay, so that’s number two.
[0:21:14.3] Number three, this is really kind of something I’m going to get into next week but I’m going to go ahead and quickly mention it here. Understand as well brothers that this is the same for other people. It’s not just me, it’s not just you, right? I know it sounds wild for me to say on the podcast but it’s true.
Let other people feel what they choose or what they think that they must be feeling in that moment because in the second pillar, under the emotional pillar, I know that for many humans there is this barrier in making this pillar strong and that barrier has something to do with the fear of what other people will think or feel.
It kind of comes in cognitive terms like, “I don’t want to offend people. I don’t want to offend other people” right? I don’t want to rock the boat, I don’t want to make waves or I don’t want to be a jerk. I don’t want to be an asshole. Now, I am not going to spend too much time on that one in here because I will review this next week in the third pillar just having to do with your behavior.
It’s like if you don’t want to do something, if you are holding back a certain behavior because you are afraid of how other people are going to feel, the truth is, it’s not so much that you’re afraid how other people are going to react or feel. It’s really how you’re going to feel about yourself when they react that way because this is where that sort of Mr. Nice Guy syndrome comes in, right?
It’s like I don’t want to offend other people because I don’t think bad about myself. I want to be nice to other people so then they’ll like me or I want to be nice to other people so that I’ll like myself or I don’t want to offend other people because then they won’t like me and if they don’t like me, it’s confirmation bias for me not to like myself, right?
[0:22:37.1] I mean, there’s all kinds of cognitive intertwines going on in there but really. It’s still coming down to, “I don’t want to control the way somebody else feels.” Now, first of all, that’s always an illusion, right? It’s always an illusion how somebody else feels but number two, let them. Let people feel whatever it is they’re going to feel and when you let other people feel how they want to feel, you allow yourself to feel what you need to feel.
The second pillar, although this has to do with other people’s feelings, I just want to mention that real quick, I’m going to review that again in the next week when we talk about the action pillar because a lot of times, we judge our actions exactly what I said based on the way other people think and then we don’t do certain things and we hold back and that pulls back our indomitable self-confidence in the third pillar. I will definitely come back to that next week.
I want to mention one more thing brothers before I close this podcast. Like I said, I already know it’s gone a little bit longer, so that’s why I wanted to get started right away. Understand that there is a difference between the emotions that we feel and form and the emotions that we feel energetically. Because of the first law of thermodynamics, our feelings create an energetic wave that moves through our environment and there is a big difference between being an empath and being empathetic.
There is a big difference. Most of the people who say that they’re empaths are just empathetic because being an empath takes a legitimate amount of time and self-discovery. Let me put it to you this way brothers, for somebody to truly be an empath, that their level of self-knowledge has to be beyond anyone who I have ever met in my life because you have to not only know yourself so well that you begin to understand the energies that are in that area.
[0:24:16.1] The energies that are passing through your area and some of those energies are the energetic emotional wave, so there is not a lot of empaths out there. I’m just going to put that out there and say if somebody says that they’re an empath, it’s likely that they’re just empathetic, which is still great. It’s great to be empathetic but just know that there is a big difference. In either case, the aim is not to engage with the emotion.
It is always only to experience it, so whether the emotion is coming from you, it’s coming from your mind, your neurotransmitters that are vibrating the cells in your body or whether it is coming from the environment that you’re in, if you are actually feeling a shift in your emotional energy because of where you are or who you’re with, either way the idea here is to know that it is not you. It is only a vibration, it is only an energy or a vibration, either way same thing.
This energy, this vibration is a gift. It’s the gift, it’s the alert, it’s the wake-up call, it’s the “hey, how you doing?” it’s the “hey, feel this moment” it’s “hey, be here, be now, let’s experience this life.” Emotions are neutral, they are vibrations in the body. They are the experience. You can feel anything you want intentionally, however, neither intentionally nor unintentionally is what you feel who you are. It isn’t you even when you choose your emotions on purpose, it is still not you.
People are not emotions, emotions are not people. The second pillar of indomitable self-confidence is, I am not my emotions, I am the grateful experiencer of my emotions. Building indomitable self-confidence is simply done by knowing yourself. When you know yourself, you are flooded with indomitable self-confidence and you live there in a state of being. It is not the same as living through a program or rigid structure of beliefs.
[0:26:06.9] It’s not a belief system. In the second pillar or the emotional pillar, this means you come to build the knowledge in the truth that you are not your feelings. Your feelings are a vibration in the cells of your body. They are an effect of your thinking and they are experience of the moment and through the process of this self-discovery, you will learn how to listen to your inner authority and be able to tell the difference between emotions, instinct and intuition.
We are doing indomitable self-confidence all month in the academy brothers. Enroll now, you do not need a self-discovery call anymore. There is no more need for self-discovery calls. All you do is you feel out a very short form and enroll right away. Get started, get on the website, start doing the daily self-study work, start getting on the webinars, start showing up to the coaching calls. I will see you there and I look forward to working with you.
Until next week when we get into the third pillar of indomitable self-confidence my friends, elevate your alpha.
[END OF INTERVIEW]
[0:27:07.3] ANNOUNCER: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Alpha Male Coach Podcast. If you enjoyed what you’ve heard and want even more, sign up for Unleash your Alpha: Your guide to shifting to the alpha mindset, at the alphamalecoach.com/unleash.