In this last podcast of the indomitable self-confident month, we will be talking in detail about fear.  Do confident people feel fear?  When you feel courage, you feel fear.  Consistently applying courage leads to more confidence.  Fear is necessary to feel in able to understand the feeling of confidence.

There is a healthy relationship you can have with fear, today we will be discussing how you can use this to your advantage instead of buffering.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

  • How to understand fear in a way to build confidence

Listen to the Full Episode:

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Announcer:

Welcome to The Alpha Male Coach podcast, the only podcast that teaches men the cognitive mastery and alpha mindset that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence. Here’s your host, certified life coach and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud.

Kevin Aillaud:

What’s up, my brothers. Welcome back to The Alpha Male Coach podcast. I am your host, Kevin Aillaud. And today, we’re talking about self-confidence in the F line, which is to say, what does self-confidence feel like? And last week, we talked about, what does self-confidence look like? We talked about indomitable self-confidence in the A line. We got into some really fun stuff with some superheroes. But today, I’m going to get into some other type of stuff. I’m going to actually, I might even get into some neuroscience. We might talk a little bit about the structure and the function of the brain. But what I really want to begin with here, and I promise you, it’ll be fun. It’ll be great. But I want to begin with the universal truth. I want to start with just a very quick review of how life works.

Kevin Aillaud:

So, we have the universal truth, right? We’ve got circumstances. We’ve got our circumstances that are our present moment, everything that’s happening in the present, including other people. So, what other people say, what other people do, it’s just cellular movement, right? It’s completely neutral. It’s definitely out of our control. And that’s what I want you guys to really understand about the circumstance of our lives, the past, the present, other people, they are out of our control. Now, they’re neutral. They’re objective, but they’re really, they’re things that we don’t control. We don’t control the weather. We don’t control the traffic. We don’t control what’s happening for us. We begin our control, our power zone begins with our thought. So, we have our circumstances outside of our body that are happening for us, constantly unfolding, in that perfection. It’s just happening in the present.

Kevin Aillaud:

And then, we have our thoughts about it. What do we make it mean? This is our subjectivity, and this is where our control begins. This is where our power begins. So, we have a thought about what we’re making the world mean. And if we believe that thought, if we think it often enough, if we really practice it and choose it to be true for us, then we get an emotional response. Then we feel that thought, and we feel that thought through our emotions, our feelings, and that is our human experience. We experience life through our emotions. When life is amazing, it’s because of how we feel. We feel great. When life is horrible and tragic, it’s because of how we feel. We feel bad.

Kevin Aillaud:

So, we have our thoughts. We have this amazing power tool to think and believe what we choose, and that gives us an emotional response. That gives us our experience. And our experience drives our actions. Our actions come from how we feel, always. Now, what animates our body of course is calories, but what drives us to do things is how we feel. And then whatever we do, whatever we put out there, has a consequence and that consequence is our results. So, the universal truth is that our circumstances happen. They’re just out there. They’re neutral. They’re out of our control. We think what we choose to think about them, a lot of times unconsciously. I get that. But we can learn to decide our thoughts, in order to create our emotions, drive our actions, and literally determine our results, get the life of our dreams.

Kevin Aillaud:

Now, it’s our results that are going to reinforce the thoughts that created them, and that’s called confirmation bias. So, a lot of times we live in a world that we are creating unknowingly for ourselves, and then we don’t think we have control over that. But again, that’s the universal truth, and thoughts create our emotions. What I want you guys to take from this is that it’s our thoughts that create our emotions. And relationships, this is kind of a review, relationships are not with people and things, right? Our relationships are our thoughts about people and things. So, we’re not in a relationship with people, we’re in a relationship with our thoughts about people. And we’re not in a relationship with things, we’re in a relationship with our thoughts about things. And this is going to come back to indomitable self-confidence in the feeling line, or what does indomitable self-confidence feel like?

Kevin Aillaud:

But I want to start with fear. I want to start with some other emotions. I want to actually talk about fear a little bit, because fear is our doorway to confidence. Confidence itself is a relationship, right? So, we’re going to get back to that. I want to talk about fear because it’s really about our relationship with fear. And fear is a primal emotion. It’s very, very primal. It’s one of the very first things that started to chemically develop in our brain, because it’s so necessary for survival.

Kevin Aillaud:

Now, fear comes from very deep structures of the brain. It comes from the amygdala, where we have this sort of startle, danger, fear response that happens in our brain, and it happens very necessarily. So, the startle function is, we hear a snap in the woods, like a twig snaps in the woods. There’s a startle. Our brain immediately goes into that danger, that fight-or-flight, like “what is happening?” sort of fear mode, and then it releases fear into our body, so we feel it, so we can move with it, right? We can fight or we can run. We can flight. And it’s very necessary because of that, because we want to have that. We want to constantly be looking on the horizon for that startle move, in order to stay survive. That was that primal place. That was that primordial emotion that we really start to develop through neurotransmission, through how our brain works, to drive us chemically, through how our thoughts create our emotions and drive our actions.

Kevin Aillaud:

Now, we do have, human beings have developed a cognitive override called the prefrontal cortex. We can use a part of our brain to sort of come to an understanding with that fear, to have kind of a relationship with that fear, where it’s not just the fear that it happens, and then we instinctually move from it, where we can think about the thoughts that are driving that startle, danger, fear sequence. Now, here’s an analogy.

Kevin Aillaud:

For example, we’re out in the Savannah. We see a lion in the wild. We see a lion in the grass and maybe we hear something that’s not right. Everything’s moving, everything’s fine. The wind is blowing. We’re all good. But then all of a sudden, we hear something. We get startled. Maybe it’s a movement, a shadow in the grass. It’s like, “Whoa, that’s a lion,” startle. My brain immediately goes into, “what’s happening? Is that lion going to kill and eat me? Is he going to kill me and feed me to its young?” So, now I have danger. And with that danger, that danger, danger, danger, that creates that cognitive message, creates the fear, the emotional response, driving into my body saying, “I’m going to fight this” or “I’m going to flight from this. I’m going to run from this.” And that is where that physiological changes occur in the cell.

Kevin Aillaud:

Now, the cognitive override comes from our prefrontal cortex where we can think about our thoughts. So, if we see a lion in the zoo, for example, we may still see this amazing cat, this giant cat, this thing that could kill us with a swipe of his hand. And we see it and immediately, it’s like, “Okay, but we have this glass. But we’re in this zoo. But we paid to be here. This thing is contained. Maybe it’s tamed even.” So, we have this cognitive override where it’s no longer, “This cat is going to kill us and feed us to its young,” where there’s the danger signal. We may still get that startle. We see it. We might be like, “Whoa, there’s a big cat.” Unless we’re used to it, unless we’ve been to the zoo before, and we’re kind of prepared for it.

Kevin Aillaud:

But if we didn’t, if we didn’t, if we just took off our blindfolds and boom, all of a sudden, we’re at the zoo and we don’t see anything, there’s going to be that startle. But then, our prefrontal cortex, our cognitive override is, “Oh, but I’m safe here. I’m behind the glass. I’m in a zoo.” So, we have that thought that rather than creating the fear, rather than having the danger, danger, danger thought, instead, we have the “well, I’m curious about what it’s going to do next. Okay, cool. We got this cat, what’s it going to do next? It’s behind the cage. It’s feeding time. There’s a bunch of other people are watching.” We’re curious. Instead of being afraid of it, we become curious about it. So, I want you guys to know that that fear comes very primarily from a startle position, like we can have fear in a way that we are completely unconscious about it. And that is so important for our survival.

Kevin Aillaud:

Now, anxiety is another thing I want to talk about. We’re going to kind of move over to anxiety because anxiety is derivative of fear. It’s the resistance of feeling fear. Okay? So, I want you to think of anxiety, not like an emotion itself, not like there’s a neuropeptide or a neurotransmitter that creates anxiety, but that anxiety is how you feel. It’s a feeling that you get when you are resisting fear, when you don’t want to feel fear, when you actually fear fear. And it’s like a small, little buzz, a light buzz or a hum in your body. It’s really agitating. Because again, anxiety is like trying to hold a beach ball, a fully inflated beach ball under water. That’s your fear. Fear’s that beach ball you’re trying to hold under water and you’re struggling and you’re fighting with it, and you’re just wearing yourself out emotionally with this anxiety. But it’s just in the back. It’s not a true emotion that you’re actually feeling, that your body’s having a physiological response to. It’s almost like you’re resisting that physiological response.

Kevin Aillaud:

So, anxiety is a resistance to fear. And it’s kind of like our barrier for feeling fear. And let me tell you, guys, it is not, it was never, anxiety is not something that was designed for survival in humans. Because it prevents the signaling of fear for our development. So, it’s not just our development in survival. Because imagine if we were out there in the wild, we hear a twig snap in the woods is, we’re like, “Oh, I should feel fear, but I’m not going to, I don’t want to feel fear.” It sort of prevents, it goes against fear. It almost unsurvives us because it puts us in more danger, because we don’t want to feel the fear that is necessary for us to confront and find out, how can we survive from this?

Kevin Aillaud:

So, anxiety prevents the signaling of fear. And I want to kind of use an analogy here for the times now. Not times like in the wild, with the lions and the tigers and the bears and the snakes and all that, but times now. So, think about this. There’s the fear of approaching strangers, the fear of meeting new people. The fear of approaching women, for example. Now, the fear there is legit. We talk about that legitimate fear of rejection. That is a fear of rejection. It’s very primal, primordial, with the tribe. If we get rejected from the tribe, it’s like this danger in our ability to survive on our own. The tribe keeps us safe with numbers and with food and with the community. So, when we have that fear of rejection that is hardwired into us to now be fearful of what other people think in terms of meeting us, like, are they going to reject us? Are they going to accept us?

Kevin Aillaud:

So, we have this legit fear of approaching strangers. We have this legit fear of approaching even women because women is also a part of our development, our procreation. So, we have this other fear of rejection. Where can I procreate? Is my seed worthy? And so, that is very different than social anxiety or approach anxiety. Because the fear that you have when you are walking up to someone you don’t know, when you’re walking up to a group of people you don’t know, at a networking event or meeting strangers or walking up to, introduce yourself to a woman you find attractive, that is legit fear. But you’re in that fear, you’re feeling that fear, the social anxiety. Or the approach anxiety is the prevention of allowing you to feel that. It’s the avoiding of going out. It’s the avoiding of walking up. It’s the avoiding of going out to social events. It’s the avoiding of walking up to people you don’t know. That’s approach anxiety.

Kevin Aillaud:

And with that anxiety, that’s sort of preventing that action, “I’m not allowing that fear.” That fear will always come back, regardless of what the outcome is. Even if you go to these networking events, even if you approach this stranger, approach this woman, if you are feeling anxiety, if you’re not allowing that fear to be there, then you’re holding that beach ball. You’re holding that fear down under the water, struggling to get it there. And no matter what the outcome is of the actions that you take, no matter what the outcome of the interaction becomes with these people, with this person, the only thing that your body is going to remember and take from that event is the thoughts that you’re having and the emotion that you’re feeling in that time, which is fear, fear, fear, danger, danger, danger. So, you’re going to be constantly perpetuating your social or approach anxiety, even if you’re going to those events.

Kevin Aillaud:

Now, if you’re allowing the fear, which is different than fighting against anxiety, which is fighting the fear, then you are walking through that fear. And that is where I want to talk about, a little bit about courage, because we’re going to get into confidence here at the end of the podcast, at the end of the episode. But I want to talk briefly about courage, because courage is not an emotion. Courage is an action. We don’t feel courage. What we feel is fear. And then we act from that emotion. We act in the feeling of fear. So, again, guys, remember, the universal truth is that our thoughts create our emotions, and our emotions drive our actions. So, if our emotion is fear and our emotion is to fight or flight in order for us to build courage, what we’re doing is using our prefrontal cortex. We’re using our ability to think about what it is that’s creating this fear, where this emotion is coming from, and take action from a conscious place, take action from a deliberate place. And that’s where we can exercise courage as a buildable skill.

Kevin Aillaud:

See, courage is like any other action, guys. It’s like learning how to play an instrument, or learning how to ride a bike or learning how to shoot a firearm. It’s something that you practice and get better at. It’s not something you either have or you don’t. It’s not something that you create out of nowhere. Well, not out of nowhere. It’s not something you just create like an emotion, because you can create confidence right now. You can create confidence with your thoughts. You can create fear with your thoughts, but courage takes practice. Courage is something that you have to do to develop. So, with courage, you are using… You’re kind of using that fear, if you will, to build your courage.

Kevin Aillaud:

Now, if you’re in anxiety, if you’re resisting that fear, if you fear the fear, then you will not be building your courage, because you’re going to be constantly holding that fear, that beach ball, that heavy object or that super light object, in this analogy, under water. You’re going to try to be holding that under water. So, you’re going to be resisting that fear and not building your courage, just kind of walking in a state of anxiety, doing whatever you’re doing. Or walking into a state of anxiety by avoiding doing whatever it is that you’re afraid of doing. The fear of humiliation with the performance anxiety, the fear of rejection with the approach anxiety or the social anxiety, whatever that is.

Kevin Aillaud:

If you’re not willing to step into that fear and just feel that anxiety, you’re not going to develop your courage. You got to feel the fear. You got to allow the fear to be there. You’ve got to basically say, “This is fear, and this is okay. This is fear. It’s not going to kill me. This is fear.” And rather than resisting that and telling myself, “I shouldn’t be feeling this or real men don’t…”

Kevin Aillaud:

You know what? Here’s the thing. When people say, when guys say, “Man up,” what I want you guys to know is that they’re not saying stop feeling fear, okay? Because that’s just not possible. You just can’t stop feeling fear. No human can ever stop feeling fear. It’s a part of us. It’s a part of what makes us human. The term, man up, what that means is, recognize that fear is okay, that fear is going to be a part of you doing things that either one, you’ve never done before, that fear of failure. Or two, the fear of something that you haven’t practiced enough in order to have a better relationship with the fear. And that’s where we get into confidence, guys, because confidence is not the resistance or the avoidance of fear. I think a lot of people think that, and I think that’s a really big misconception.

Kevin Aillaud:

When you feel confident, it’s not because you’re feeling something other than fear. It’s not because you’re resisting it or avoiding it, or just saying that “I’m stronger than this fear, and I don’t need it. I can avoid it. I can shut it off my body.” And confidence is not the opposite of fear either. Confidence is a feeling of being able… Well, one of the pillars. I want to state this very clearly, one of the pillars of indomitable self-confidence is the feeling of the ability to handle fear. It’s being comfortable with fear. It’s feeling comfortable with the uncomfortable emotions.

Kevin Aillaud:

And this is the thing. I mean, if there’s one thing, I mean, cognitive mastery is a very complex set of skills that I teach at the Spartan Academy, but there’s so many different facets to it. One of the facets to it is understanding how the brain works, and how to switch the brain from that beta state to the alpha state, from the beta condition to the alpha state. And one of the ways I explain that is, what you want to do is become comfortable with the uncomfortable. I say that often, like “start to become comfortable with those uncomfortable emotions.”

Kevin Aillaud:

But also, you want to get a little uncomfortable with being so comfortable. Because when you’re too comfortable, then you’re not growing anymore. You’re not pushing yourself deeper. You’re not getting farther and becoming more of who you are, who you’re meant to be. So, part of it’s becoming uncomfortable with being so comfortable, but becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable emotion of fear. That’s what confidence is. And it changes, the first pillar of indomitable confidence, it kind of changes consciously or unconsciously, deliberately, truthfully, the way you think about fear. It’s the way you think about a fear. It’s the relationship that you start to have with fear.

Kevin Aillaud:

This goes all the way back to relationships, guys. Understand that you are not in a relationship with people or things. You are only in a relationship with your thoughts about people and things. And fear is a thing. Fear is an emotion. And if your relationship with fear is one of resistance or avoidance, if it’s resistance, then you’re creating anxiety. If it’s avoidance, then you’re out there buffering. You’re out there trying to feel something else, synthetically, through television, through drugs, through sleep, through exercise, through something else where it’s like, “I don’t want to feel this.” In fact, if it’s an approach anxiety, could be through alcohol. It’s like, “Give me that liquid courage. Let me get to the bar, give me a drink.” That’s the buffering, that’s the avoidance of fear. But when you have the relationship of fear where you are okay with it, when you’re good with it, where you’re like, “Yes, this is fear. This is okay. My relationship with fear is wonderful. I love feeling fear. It’s a part of me being human. It’s a part of me growing, really.”

Kevin Aillaud:

Because here’s the thing. When you feel fear and you act in courage, you realize that you can do the thing that whatever it is that you are afraid of, whatever that thought was, the rejection or the humiliation or the failure, whatever it is that thought is, you step into that. You show yourself that you can handle that, and you start to change that relationship with fear. You start to change your way of thinking about fear. When you resist it, you’re in anxiety. When you’re feeling it and sort of acting from it, sort of, “I’m just going to do this anyway,” you are learning how to teach fear to be inside of you, to be in that feeling, to be in your body. And when you’re learning and when you’re teaching fear to be that way, you’re teaching yourself how you can handle it.

Kevin Aillaud:

Look, guys, there are so many different ways that this has shown up in my life, and it probably shows up in your life. Public speaking, building businesses, the fear around building businesses is the fear of money. I’m constantly going into debt. That’s the fear. Is it debt? Or with my confidence, is it look like I’ve done this so many times, I’ve created so many businesses that I don’t even see it as debt anymore. Now, I see it as investments. “Okay, yep. I’m going to invest more into this business now.” It’s the same thing, talking to women, talking to other people, meeting new people, that fear of rejection, it’s constantly showing up. It’s like, and that is the fear. If you see it there and you see it as fear…

Kevin Aillaud:

Here’s what I want you guys to do. Check this out. Next time you speak to someone you don’t know, and this may be part of your dare of the day, if you see an attractive woman, or maybe you have this woman who you have a crush on. You haven’t talked to her, you’ve been afraid of rejection. Or maybe you are going to a networking event, and you really want to start talking about your business that you’re growing. You want to start making offers about your service, your product, your contribution to the world.

Kevin Aillaud:

Here’s the thing, guys. Instead of seeing that person as a person, as sort of this person that you’re going to make an offer to, see them as the fear, like that is your fear. And when you go up to that fear and you make friends with that fear, you create a relationship with that fear, you’re no longer avoiding or resisting that fear, but you’re actually walking up, shaking its hand, and saying, “Hi, fear. My name is Kevin, nice to meet you. Let’s get along. Let’s be friends.” That’s where confidence is developed. It’s not, like I say, it’s not the stepping away from, or it’s not the opposite of, it is the integration with. It is you integrating with that fear and becoming one with it. It’s the very opposite of the opposite. So, you want to be a part of that fear. You want to step in and make friends with that fear. And that is how confidence begins to develop in the F line. That’s what it starts to feel like.

Kevin Aillaud:

Because when you do that, you change your relationship with fear. You change the way you think about fear and therefore, you change the way you feel about fear. Understand this, guys, fear and all emotions, they are chemicals that create a chemical reaction in the cells of your body. That’s what we feel. We feel the chemical reaction. We don’t feel the chemical itself. That’s the emotion. Fear is the emotion. What we feel is what comes from that, all the subjectivity that we talk about it. And so, when we talk about fear as being this horrible thing, this thing that’s like danger and “I need to move, I need to fight, I need to gear up.” And maybe we feel it. We feel those physiological changes, but those physiological changes are objective. Those physiological changes are just vibrations in ourselves. They’re cellular chemical reactions.

Kevin Aillaud:

So, if you change the way you think about those physiological changes, where they’re not so much like, “Oh, it’s this intense feeling of danger and I’m under attack” or “I need to hide. I need to run.” Or “I need to puff up my chest and get ready to fight. I need to readjust where my blood’s going.” All that, the parasympathetic system, the sympathetic system, all that fight-or-flight that happens, when we change our relationship with those physiological changes, with those objective cellular vibrations, then our feeling about it changes. Our entire state of being around it changes. And that is the way, that’s what confidence feels like.

Kevin Aillaud:

Confidence feels like the release, the letting go of the anxiety, of the resistance, the letting go of the “I’m going to die here. This is a bad thing for me. This is dangerous for me.” It’s like a wash of trust and a wash of calmness that kind of comes through in the… So, your heart’s going, your heart’s beating, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, going a hundred times a minute because of fear. It’s getting ready to move, fight or flight. And when you exercise courage by acting in that state, you start to build the relationship the way you think about what’s happening in your body. That fear and that confidence comes and starts to wash over you. And that same fast heartbeat, that same bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, that it’s going so fast that it feels so uncomfortable when you’re thinking about fear, when you’re thinking about being rejected or thinking about failing or thinking about embarrassment or whatever, it changes when you just start to realize that, “Yeah, this is, I can handle this. This is totally okay for me. I’ve got this. This is the…”

Kevin Aillaud:

In fact, this is the worst that could happen. And I’m not saying that your heart rate just all of a sudden slows down to the resting pace. What I’m saying, brother, is that it keeps going at that speed. You still have that adrenaline. You still have that fight-or-flight mode. You’re still in that same chemical reaction. But now, you are in ownership of it. And with your being in ownership of it, all that adrenaline starts to work for you. It starts to slow things down. You start to take deeper breaths. You start to calm down. And now, you have this sort of immense power, I want to say power, to be able to handle anything, anything that comes your way. So, there is a feeling that comes with confidence, indomitable self-confidence.

Kevin Aillaud:

But the caveat, the unfortunate truth is that you have to practice fear. That’s the move. And I’ve said it so many times, fear, discomfort, all that, all those uncomfortable emotions, that is the currency. That’s what we pay. That is the rite of passage to walk through the door of the next level, of who you’re going to become, of becoming more of who you already are. And that comes from courage, building that courage. That comes from learning and developing your indomitable self-confidence.

Kevin Aillaud:

So, a couple quick things just to wrap up on, guys, as we finish out the month of June, as we finish out indomitable self-confidence month, and go into how to change your past month, we’re going to talk a lot about circumstances. We’re going to talk a lot about circumstances being neutral and out of your control, because that’s really what your past is.

Kevin Aillaud:

But let’s finish up here with, what does indomitable self-confidence feel like? First of all, you never ever have to feel anxiety. Anxiety is an addictive feeling and it only serves… The only thing that anxiety does is it blocks you from allowing yourself to feel fear. It blocks you from learning more about who you are and what you can handle. So, you never ever have to feel anxiety. Now, I’m not telling you to beat yourself up for feeling anxiety, but I’m telling you that what your anxiety is, is an emotion you’re creating through the resisting of fear. And you don’t have to do that. You can totally handle fear.

Kevin Aillaud:

Number two, determine what is creating that anxiety. What is the fear of feeling the fear? And then find out that fear, like, what is it? Are you afraid of rejection? And you don’t want to feel rejected, so you don’t want to feel the fear of that. Is it failure? Is it humiliation? Is it embarrassment? Is it something like that? Other people’s opinions? But whatever it is, understand that the fear is the lie, because the fear is usually going to change from what is unknown to what is known. And you can only do that when you allow yourself to feel it, otherwise it will continue to be unknown, and you’ll continue to push that anxiety.

Kevin Aillaud:

Courage is an action, not a feeling. It is a buildable skill. It is something that you do. We don’t feel courageous, guys, no matter what anybody has said or what movie you’ve seen, courage is not a feeling. Okay? The people that you think are feeling courageous are actually feeling fear, and they’re just acting anyway. There is no feeling that is courage. Courage is an action that we do when we feel fear. You practice courage from that emotion. You can only practice courage when you’re feeling fear. So, listen, if you’re constantly avoiding fear, then you will never be able to practice your courage. You can just kind of think of it that way. It’s like, use fear to your advantage. You can develop your courage to say, well, you develop any skill, with practice, but you can only do that if you have that prerequisite, that very important component, which is the emotion of fear.

Kevin Aillaud:

And part of the things, part of what we did during the month of June was called the dare of the day where I had my students go walk into something that they’ve been afraid of. It’s like, “Look, what are you afraid of? Now, go do it.” And that helps you practice your courage and in hindsight, in retrospect, looking back, developing that confidence because confidence is not an emotion you create through resisting fear. It’s an emotion that you create through your thoughts. You can’t stop the fear. Fear is going to be a part of our humanist, forever. Get used to it, brothers. We are always going to feel fear, but what we can do with fear is we can practice our courage and we can develop our confidence, because confidence is an emotion that you can only create with mastering your own fear, with recognizing that it’s just an emotion, that you are greater than your fear, that your fear is there to protect you, but you determine whether you need protection. And that is your alpha state. That is your prefrontal cortex.

Kevin Aillaud:

So, confidence coming from that fear is a feeling of calmness, control, serenity, and natural ease. Because you know that whatever it is, your brain is startled, danger, fear to. Whatever it’s been startled to, through its amygdala, through your amygdala. Now, it’s sending a message to your brain, sending a message of danger, danger, danger. You know you’ve assessed that with your prefrontal cortex. You’ve looked at that and practiced that. Now, you know that that message is the lie, it’s erroneous. And you are now in that, you still have that fear. You still have that same physiological response, but you’re feeling a calm control, serene and natural ease.

Kevin Aillaud:

And here’s the best move, bro. Here’s the best. You can create confidence without evidence. I’ve said this many times, I don’t want to do a whole nother podcast on this. You can go back and look at some of the previous episodes, but confidence is an emotion. It is not created from your actions. It doesn’t come from your results. Confidence comes from the way you think about yourself, and you can practice those thoughts any time, all the time. I recommend you do it all the time. Because when you practice, the more you think these thoughts, the more you wire that brain… Thinking a thought over and over and having the feeling of believing it is what creates the material. So, it creates the neural wiring, the neural network, which is where the emotions come from, quite frankly. I mean, that’s how you get your emotional experience is through your beliefs. So, you can create your confidence just by practicing thoughts that you want to think, thoughts about yourself.

Kevin Aillaud:

And if you’re curious about that, I got many, many podcasts out there on that one, but here’s the main, here’s the move. Here’s the big message. Confidence comes from the way you think about fear. Indomitable confidence comes from your relationship with fear. So, go out there, do something that’s scary. Do something your brain is telling you is scary. Learn something about yourself. Practice that courage and learn that you can handle that emotion. Fear is necessary, but fear is not something that is stronger than you. Have an amazing week, brothers. I will see you next week. And until then, elevate your alpha.

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