//Ep #64: How To vs. Having Done

Ep #64: How To vs. Having Done

Brothers, it is an absolute privilege for me to be your guide to elevating your alpha once again on the show today. This week’s episode is all about switching from a limiting ‘how to’ mindset into a place of cognitive mastery and self-empowerment provided by visualizing oneself in a place of ‘having done’.

We are currently living in an information age where the chances are very high that a resource exists which contains all the information you would ever need to accomplish anything you could think of. The problem is that for many of us, having the resolve and willpower to take the steps required to follow that resource is what is lacking.

The reason for this is that you haven’t yet visualized yourself having completed your goal. Thus, you lack the joy, power, and motivation provided by that visualization to give yourself the energy to take the actions required to achieve it. Join me today as I reverse-engineer the CTFAR model and show you exactly how to start rewiring your brain in order to make your wildest dreams a reality.

Want to know more about what I do and how I can help you? Sign up for a free 45-minute session with me, and I’ll show you how this works!

What You’ll Learn from This Episode:

  • A key question Kevin’s students ask him, which is about the ‘how to’ of their goals.
  • The readily available nature of guidelines in this information age about how to do things.
  • A hindrance to exploiting the availability of resources: lack of drive and resolve.
  • How a lack of drive translates into being unable to put the universal truth into practice.
  • The true goal behind wanting anything material: the attainment of a positive emotion.
  • A realization that goals need to be reached from an emotional place of gain, not lack.
  • Switching from a ‘how to’ into a ‘having done’ mindset, or a place of lack to one of abundance.
  • How seeking a feeling from a result amounts to the universal truth understood backward.
  • The likelihood of a goal being quit halfway if approached from a ‘how to’ perspective.
  • A fact that our brains control our lives, and that the ‘having done’ mindset controls the brain.
  • How to visualize yourself in the place of having already achieved your goal.
  • A process of reverse-engineering the CTFAR model.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

  • Learn how you can enter to win one of five FREE coaching sessions here!
  • Sign up for Unleash Your Alpha, your guide to shifting to the Alpha mindset.

Full Episode Transcript:



[0:00:09.6] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to The Alpha Male Coach podcast. The only podcast that teaches men the cognitive mastery and alpha mindset that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence. Here is your host, certified life coach and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud.


[0:00:32.5] KA: What’s up my brothers, welcome back to the Alpha Male Coach podcast. I am your host Kevin Aillaud. I’m going to lead off. I’m going to lead off this episode by quickly reminding you guys to – if you haven’t done it already and if you have, I appreciate it, I thank you. But if you haven’t done it already, very quickly, go to iTunes and leave me a five-star rating and review.

I love reading your guys reviews by the way, I read every single one of them, but make sure you do leave me that five-star rating. If you’re not on iTunes, you can leave me a comment, leave me a comment anywhere because I like getting them, I like reading them, I like knowing that you guys are using this knowledge, you guys are doing this work.

Let’s get into the episode and I came up with this episode because it’s so interesting, it occurred to me that everybody is looking for or so concerned with the how to. I mean, as a coach, my students or clients, you know, the clients at first but then they become students but they approach me, potential students, potential clients. They approach me, they’re always looking for how to.

How to approach and talk to beautiful women, how to repair and reclaim my power and my relationship and my marriage. How to take my business to six figures or if you’re at six figures, take it to seven figures, right? How do I make my first million dollars? How to lose weight or get stronger, right? A lot of questions about how to eat and bulk up and shed the stored energy. Those unwanted body fat.

[0:02:10.4] It’s always about how to, how do I do it, how do I do it? Now, here’s the thing guys. Human beings have been on this evolution of ages, right? We kind of go through stages in our progress. It all kind of started with the agricultural revolution, right? The agricultural age which moved to the unification age, which moved to the scientific age, which moved to the industrial age.

Now we’re in this information age, right? We have all this access to information and because we have all this access to information, the world seems a lot smaller. We have access to what’s going on almost anywhere in the world and we have it immediately.

We also have vast information when it comes to how to do things, right? Vast information on how things get done. Look, if there’s something that you want to do and you want to know how to do it, I can almost guarantee you that someone has already done it and they’ve either written book on it or they’ve written a blogpost about it or they’ve made a YouTube video on it.

I mean, you know, there are so much information out there that the how to of doing things, of getting things done is accessible. It’s available, it’s there. The issue of course is as we create new solutions, right, we run into new problems, and as we create solutions to those problems, getting new solutions, those solutions in turn create new problems. Now, the problem with the information age is that we have all this information available and accessible to us but we’re still not getting it done.

[0:03:52.3] If you want to know how to make a million dollars, brother, I can point you into – I could tell you a dozen different books that will teach you to do it. I can tell you a bunch of different coaches that will take you step by step, you know, that have the blueprint for it.

There’s probably a free place you can do it by going to YouTube but with all this knowledge, with all these places, to follow the blueprint, to get there, how many people actually do it, right? How many people follow the steps. How many people one, want it bad enough and two, are willing to go through the actions to do it.

We have the information but there’s still this problem and this problem is, why is it that we know how to do things. We have the blueprint, we have the external, right? We’ve got the material, we’ve got the map but there’s this lack of drive. There’s this inability to take action, right? That’s the new problem, we have the information but we don’t know what to do with it, we know how to do it but it’s the stepping into that role. Here’s the real problem.

This is why I came up with this episode and really, what I’ve been talking about this for these last few years is that we are either never taught the universal truth for the way life works, right? We were just never explained this or we know it intellectually but we don’t practice, right?

[0:05:08.2] We don’t apply the process and the principles to our lives. Most people are living in the model backwards, right? That’s the inverse universal truth, it’s a backwards form of the universal truth. This is why practicing the process of living in alignment with the universal truth is so important.

Because even if you know the universal truth intellectually, right? You’ve been listening to podcast for a long time, if you’ve read other books, you’ve heard this said before and you know it intellectually, you understand that circumstances are neutral and that thoughts become reality, right? Thoughts become your world, they become your life.

Even if you know that intellectually, if you don’t engage in the practice of it, if you don’t apply yourself and involve yourself into the becoming of it through the model, then you won’t see the effectiveness of it, right? It will just remain this sort of abstract concept in your mind.

Now, remember, we don’t want results because of the result itself, right? You might have heard me say this before. If this is your first podcast listening the Alpha Male Coach podcast, welcome and I want to tell you something brother. You don’t want your result because of the result, okay?

[0:06:11.0] You want a result because of how you think that result is going to make you feel and I don’t care who you are or what it is that you want or what is the result is, all you ever really want is a feeling. I’ve coached guys who want to take their business to seven figures, I’ve coached guys who want to improve their marriage, I’ve coached guys who want to quit buffering or end in addiction. I’ve coached guys who want to meet the woman of their dreams.

I’ve coached guys who want to go out and create a real estate portfolio. It doesn’t matter what the goal was. It doesn’t matter who the guy was, who the person was, the result was never what they were actually after. What they were actually after was always a feeling and it was very easy to figure this out, right?

Like my student who wants to grow his business, right? Wants to make more money. I was like, “Why do you want to make more money?” He thinks the result, you know, my brother, my man, he thinks the result is, “I want to make more money because I want to have more money,” right? But why? Why do you want to have more money? Why is it important to you?

The more we ask that, the more we get into the thoughts behind it, the more we find out that it’s really just a feeling. For this particular student, it was, “I want to feel successful. When I make seven figures in my business, I’ll feel successful.”

[0:07:23.2] It’s always that you’re chasing a feeling. “I want to improve my marriage or take control, take my power back in my marriage because I want to feel empowered. I want to feel confident.” Most people aren’t aware of this, most people believe that they’re actually after the result.

They believe they’re actually after the change in their circumstances. Because of this, people are in the illusion that the feeling comes as a result of the result. In other words, the result has to occur first and then you get the feeling from it. “I have to make seven figures in my business first, then I’ll feel successful,” right?

Or, “Once I repair my marriage, then I’ll feel secure in my relationship,” or, “Once I stop buffering or end my addiction, then I will feel empowered and in control of my life.” Or, “Once I build my real estate portfolio, then, I will feel financially free,” right? “Then I’ll feel abundance,” but this is all backwards and not only is it backwards brother but this is what prevents us from actually achieving our goals because we try to achieve our goals from a feeling of lack.

When really, what we need to do is achieve our goals from the feeling of already having achieved it. Not only is it backwards but it actually prevents us from achieving our goals and it’s why the shift, why this movement from the information age, from the external knowledge that is available to us, to the consciousness age, to the immaterial power that we have in our brain, is a momentous leap in human evolution.

[0:08:54.0] As the universal truth continues to be proven scientifically, as well as anecdotally, we can see it happening in our lives but now science is actually proving that this is the way life works, we’re going to learn and practice the process of having done rather than how to.

That’s what this podcast episode is about. How to does not create a result. How to only provides information, it only provides you with the blueprint, right? It gives you a map but the having done is you stepping on to the path as you’re walking and taking the journey. In order to generate an effective, permanent result, we must align ourselves with the universal truth and we got to follow the process of creation. We got to follow the model.

The old way is to act, we take action, we get a result, the result creates a feeling, either we feel good and we continue or we feel bad, right? We quit. Usually when we quit, it comes with some sort of rationalization to follow. But this is the illusion, right? To act, to get a result and then the result creates the feeling, that’s the illusion, that’s the false reality.

This false reality leads us into all kind of limiting belief systems about our abilities and about our capacities and what our innate strengths and weaknesses are, all limiting beliefs. It allows false evidence to determine our identity and the story that we tell ourselves about ourselves and the world.

[0:10:24.0] It’s just backwards guys, that’s all it is, it’s just simply backwards. It’s the universal truth on its head, right? Instead of the universal truth, the way we see it and the model as CTFAR, a circumstances trigger thoughts, creating feelings, driving actions and getting results. This backwardness is sort of like a CARTF, right? Where the circumstances are what they are but then we take action to get a result in order to create thoughts about ourselves and the feeling that we want to have.

That’s the backwardness, right? You put the AR before the TF, that’s the illusion. I’ve spent some time explaining the episode, right? Where we’re talking about here. The problem, I want you guys to know what I mean by ‘how to’ versus ‘having done’. I’ve spent some time explaining that and the problem with the current paradigm of cognition and the concept for the way life works but I want to talk to you guys about the ‘having done,’ right?

Which is the answer to the ‘how to.’ It’s the shift. It’s like, if the problem is, we have the knowledge of how to, but we’re not able to take that action yet, then the solution to that problem is to believe in having done, is to create the cognitive, emotive story in your mind and body that you’ve already done it.

This is the solution, instead of thinking about and focusing on the how to, right? That blueprint. Instead of looking at the map, I want you to think about and focus on the having done. I want you to align yourself with the universal truth, right? Know that your thoughts are creating your reality, what you think, the sentences, in your brain and lead your results from your cognition and emotion, rather than from your actions.

[0:12:05.0] Now, I want to take a pause here, right? Because I will explain this in more detail but I do want to take a pause here and I want you guys to understand that this is not just a repackaging of the secret, right? The law of attraction. Because I don’t want you to misunderstand me. You will still need to take massive action if you intend to get results.

We do not get results without action, the R always follows the A, right? This is the way the model works, so it’s not that we’re just stepping out of action, we’re removing ourselves from action and we’re just all up in our head. We’re not just meditating, right? In the lotus position and to achieve result. That’s not what I’m saying.

What I’m saying is that, we have to – instead of focusing on the action and focusing on just the action, we’ve got to take that further step, realign ourselves with the story in our brain so that the action is more natural. Massive action is simply consistent action taking until you achieve your intended result.

That’s what I mean by massive action. It just means keep going. It means do it again, do it again. If you don’t get your result, you haven’t failed, you just haven’t learned how to succeed yet. You do it again, right? You do something different but you keep taking the action.

[0:13:18.8] Leading with how to, makes you less likely to begin taking action and if you do start taking action, it makes you less likely to stick with it. You know, if you’re leading with the how to, then you may not take action at all but you may say, I don’t know how to and then you go on this quest to figure out how to by looking at YouTube videos or reading books or maybe you don’t, maybe you just say, “I don’t know how to,” and you throw your hands up in the air.

“I don’t know how to do it so I’m just not going to start.” Or, you do find a process, you hire a coach, you read a book or watch a video, you take a course and you figure out this process of how to and then you go after it, you maybe do it for a little while, you go to the gym or you start – you go out and you start approaching women or you go out and you start working a business, writing blogposts or making videos, whatever it is.

But you begin and then you just stop, right? You kind of quit or say, “This isn’t for me, this isn’t right for me, it’s not – I don’t know how to do this, it’s not working, it’s not successful.” You begin it but then you stop because you’re looking at the how to and your thinking is, “If this is how to be successful and I’m not successful then there must be something wrong with me, it’s not for me.”

Stop looking at the how to and start looking at the having done. Feel it ahead of time, right? Leading from having done allows you to believe beyond your results and continue taking action with confidence. I’m going to explain a little bit more about what I mean by this.

[0:14:45.4] When you’re in the state of how to, you’re fighting your brain, okay? You have the blueprint, you’ve got the information, you know what you need to do to get the results but you don’t do it because there’s resistance.

There’s a story that you tell yourself about yourself and then there’s the change that you want to make with the how to, right? Which is the unfamiliar action. It is an unfamiliar action because if you didn’t – if you already knew how to do it and you’re already doing it then it wouldn’t be so focused on the how to, right? You already have the story of the way you are and you want to change with this new goal.

You’ve got these new actions to get this new goal and those two things don’t match up, right? If they did, you’d already have the result. If the two things matched up then their goal would already be yours. It would be your reality now. You would already be that person who has accomplished that goal that is at the end of the how-to but that is not the reality. Your past cognition, your brain and all of the thoughts inside it has created your current results. This has created your current reality. So your brain is telling you a story that matches the reality it’s created and now you want to get a new result, right?

This is your new goal by taking different how-to actions. This does not make your brain happy, right? Your brain is not happy about this and your brain is always going to win. Your brain, my friend, my brother, is a results producing machine. That’s what it does. You cannot stop this. It is going to create the life in reality from the story that you tell it or the story that it’s telling itself now based on your past. It decides what you create in your life, not your actions.

Your brain is creating your life not your actions. Your actions are a symptom of your thoughts, they come from your brain. Your actions are temporary and your actions require willpower if you decide to go against your brain. Now willpower runs out and your brain always wins. So as you know, the only way to correct this, the only way to have a permanent and effective change is to elevate your alpha state and rewire your brain. So you are taking control of the results producing machine, right?

So either you don’t do anything, you’ve got this blueprint, you got this how-to and either again, you don’t do anything because you are in the state of “I don’t know, this is not me. I don’t know how to succeed. I got this how-to but I am not going to take the first step because my brain is telling me this is not me. It is a change, it is unfamiliar, it is uncomfortable,” so you don’t do anything, or you do start, right? You got this New Year’s resolution.

[0:17:17.1] You say, “Yes I am going to make a commitment. I am serious. I am strong,” and you start with willpower because you are not going cognitively. You are not up in the story. You are not up in your brain. You are just taking different actions. So you are using your willpower to fight your brain and start this process of change and then your willpower runs up and you give up, right? It is just like, “Oh it is too much.” You go back to your old patterns.

You go back to your old life, you go back to your old results. Living from a place of having done puts you in control of your brain. Now you are controlling your brain. So it is like you are peeling back another layer of an onion, right? It is not just looking at the actions to get different results, it is looking at the story you are telling yourself about yourself to get different results, right? You are in your alpha state where you determine your cognition to create the feeling you want to have when you accomplish your goal.

Okay, so this is a reverse engineering of the model guys, so pay attention here. If you are taking notes, guys, if you ever take notes on these podcasts, now is the time to take notes because I am about to deliver to you the math. I am going to give you the secret here, all right? So you can look at the model like CTFAR. All right, we are going to reverse engineer this. I want you to look at your R line. That is your goal, that is your future. That is what you want to achieve.

This is your intentional model, so you have an intentional result and you look at your A-line right above the R-line. Those are all of the actions, those are all the how-to. So that is your blueprint and you have that, right? That is the math. If you don’t have it then you can figure it out. You can either figure it out for yourself by doing the math. If I want to make a certain amount of money and I make a certain amount of money per client or per student or per hour or per year, whatever.

[0:18:55.9] What do I need to do to increase that? You know, we just got to work it backwards so we get the math or someone has already done the math for you. Someone has already written a book about it, they have done a course about it. You can hire a coach, but somebody has already got it for you and it is probably out there for you because of the information age. The information age makes the A-line simple and attainable, right guys?

You don’t have to figure out the A-line anymore. It is there. This is the beauty of the information age. So you know what your result is, you know what you want your results to be and you know what you are actions are going to be. You know what the A-line is. This is the fun part because this is where you start making that shift into alpha living. You start to ask yourself, “What will I be feeling when I have accomplished this goal?”

This is what takes athletes to their top performance. You know this is what makes athletes the greatest of all time. This is what takes people to the Olympics. It is the visualization. This is what makes actors so compelling, it is how they win the Oscar. So you are going to ask yourself, “What will I be feeling when I have accomplished this goal?” and I want you to take yourself in your mind to the place in your future when you have completed the goal you set out to achieve.

Visualize it brother, be there, live there, visualize yourself in that experience. Experience that result in real time. Imagine it is happening now. Right now. It’s already happened. What are you feeling? You have accomplished this goal here, today, this moment. What are you feeling? It is like, say you want to make seven figures in your business. Right now at this moment as a time, you open your computer, you open your laptop and you click on your bank account and it shows that extra comma.

[0:20:34.4] And you look at it, what are you feeling? You have accomplished your goal, what is happening in your body? What is happening in the vibrations in your cells? You know, where is it happening? Is it happening in your shoulders, in your chest, in your stomach, like where in your body is this happening? Identify the objective, physiological changes that are happening. Is your heart rate increasing? Is your respiratory rate increasing?

Are you feeling tired? Are you feeling energized? Are you feeling stronger? Are you feeling warm, cold, what is going on? What are the physiological changes? But also, I want you to experience and acknowledge the subjective feeling that comes from thinking about accomplishing your goal, because you want that subjectivity. That is the power, right? That is the vibration. Now you are there in your mind, in this place of your future.

You are feeling this emotion, name it. Name the emotion, you got to own this feeling so you can create it again and put it in the F-line. What is the name of the emotion? Write it in the intentional model. Now you have your feeling. You know what you are going to feel when you accomplish your goal and this is the same emotion you will use to achieve your goal and that, my brother, is the secret. That, my friend, is the momentous league.

I really want you to understand this. We don’t achieve a goal and then feel of an emotion. We feel an emotion and then we achieve the goal. We don’t make seven figures in our business so we can feel successful. We feel successful so we can make seven figures in our business. We don’t stop buffering and end our addiction so we can feel empowered and in control of our lives. We feel and cultivate the emotion of empowerment and control in our lives so that we can stop buffering and stop addictions.

[0:22:23.7] The emotion is always going to come first. The emotion is always going to drive our actions. That’s why this is such a momentous leak because it is backwards from everything that we are taught and it is the only way to achieve what you are out to achieve. It is going to come first. The emotion is always going to be there first. You can go out and you can try to create more abundance from a feeling, from an emotional scarcity and lack.

I mean think about it, you want something you don’t have and because you want what you don’t have, you are feeling about it is lack. Your feeling about it is scarcity and from that place of lack and of scarcity, you are trying to create all of these actions, trying to do all the stuff in order to get a result that you think is going to help you feel better. It is going to take away that feeling of lack. It is going to make you feel, “Oh now I have it. I don’t feel lack anymore. Now I feel abundant.” But that is backwards.

That is what I am telling your, brother, that is the backwards move. You want to feel abundant first. You want to feel the alpha. You are the alpha, you want to feel your alpha state, all of your power, all of your abundance, all of your love, all of your confidence, all of that emotional power before you get the result because that’s how you achieve the result and by the time you do achieve the result, you will already have the emotion you set out to achieve.

So it won’t be based on the emotion. It will just be based on proving to yourself that you deserve and are capable of achieving whatever the goal is that you want to achieve. Now look, I have given you the secret, right? And it is not really a secret so much as a paradigm shift and how we understand the power of creation. It is not a secret, people have been saying this. It’s written in books. I mean I didn’t make this up but I have given you a process.

[0:24:03.8] I have given you a way to do this and I want to finish this with you here because we still need to complete the model. We still need to look at this. If you have the R-line, that’s your goal, you have the A-line because that is all the how-to, and now you have the F-line too. You’ve got that to fill in and you are working backwards. So let us look at the T-line brother because this is cognitive mastery. This is where all your power begins.

Based on the F-line and the emotion that you will feel when you have accomplished your goal, which is also the emotion you need to feel in order to accomplish your goal, what is going in your T-line? What is the thought you don’t believe now but will practice believing in order to achieve the result? Now, there are a few tricks and there are a few tips for finding a good thought to believe but the most important thing for you to know is, number one, you won’t believe this thought right away.

It is not going to feel believable to you right away, and number two, you got to practice thinking this thought and cultivating the emotion that goes along with it in order to teach yourself to believe it and take massive action from it. Like I say, there is a lot of other tricks and tips going into how to find a good thought, which is – I teach that all through the Agoge, all through the Spartans but the how-to paradigm of creation is moving from common to archaic guys.

You got to know that first. This idea that it’s all about action is symptom based, right? It is no longer common. It is now the old way. The movement on the horizon is the momentous leap from the external material manipulation of space, right? Things in space, this action-based mindset to the internal, immaterial manifestation of quantum cognition, which is thought-based. You can chose any thought you want and once you focus on a thought and think it over and over, it becomes your reality.

[0:25:58.3] That is quantum mechanics. The observer, the observed thought. Before you focus on that thought you are free to choose from an infinite number of thoughts. A super position of thoughts. Once you choose a thought and focus on it with such intent that it becomes a belief for you, it also becomes a reality. The new paradigm of creation is to live in a state of having done from your alpha consciousness. Now, I know that was a mouthful, right?

That is a mouthful of science, but brothers, this is a skill you can learn, okay? It doesn’t matter what your goals are. It doesn’t matter if you have health goals, wealth goals, or relationship goals. This is the foundational skill that is transferrable to all the parts of your life. This is the skill I teach to my students in the Spartan Agoge program. It is a skill that requires dedication and consistency. You know, consistent practice to learn just like anything else.

Just like a foreign language, just like physical fitness, and the results are matched by your dedication and by your consistency. I invite you to join the Spartan Agoge for one year. I know you will impress yourself with how much you can create for yourself and in the world around you. I hear success stories from my students on almost every call we have in the Agoge and the results are typical when you do the work. You know those commercials when they say results are not typical?

I am telling the opposite. The results of cognitive mastery are typical like you can expect this just like you can’t lift weights and not get stronger, you can’t manage your mind and not develop cognitive mastery. It is just not possible. The how to is right here, right? I am giving it to you. I am teaching it to you, I am breaking these complex concepts into teachable chunks and forming them into a process you can learn them, right? All of the how-to.

[0:27:42.4] The how-to to talk to beautiful women, to create massive wealth, to enjoy optimum health. It is all available to you. It is all over the internet. What you learn in the Agoge and working with me, is how to start the how-to, right?

It is how to take the action that you either don’t know how-to take or that the story in your brain is preventing you from taking. Because while working with causal coaching, by working with your cognition, you’re changing the story. You’re not changing the action, you’re changing the story so that the actions align with the story. It’s rewiring your brain so you understand that instead of creating the result to chase the emotion, you create the emotions so you can chase the result, right?

Rather than feeling bad, right? Rather than feeling scarcity or lack or whatever, and wanting a result to make you feel better, to remove that lack, you feel better now, right? You use your brain to feel better now and that emotion that you create, that feeling, is what drives your actions into living the result.

You will learn how to do this and how to achieve your dreams of health, wealth, and amazing relationships in the Agoge. Start your journey today brothers, by going to the alphamalecoach.com and clicking on the link in the menu, right at the very top that says, “Work with Kevin.” Check out the elevated alpha society Spartan Agoge program and I look forward to working with you.

Brothers, that’s what I have for you today. Until next week, elevate your alpha.


[0:29:19.2] ANNOUNCER: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Alpha Male Coach Podcast. If you enjoyed what you’ve heard and want even more, sign up for Unleash Your Alpha, your guide to shifting to the alpha mindset, at the alphamalecoach.com/unleash.


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By |2020-01-09T10:55:41-08:00January 10th, 2020|Podcast|0 Comments

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