As we enter into a new phase for the Alpha Male Coach, it is a great time to go back to the beginning and start with the basics once again. A huge part of elevating your alpha is about removing the need to buffer, in that unconscious and instinctual way that we condition ourselves to. So today we are getting into the process of retraining the brain, liberating ourselves from reliance on buffers and taking control of our actions!

Whatever your buffer may be, from sugar and alcohol to video games and pornography, every time we unconsciously turn to that behavior as a form of escape we are training the mind to rely on that action. The buffer is not the action but rather the relationship your brain has with the action, and this is what we want to change.

In today’s episode, we break down three different methods for regaining control from your animal brain and putting the power in your prefrontal cortex, thus allowing your best, elevated self to make decisions. There is the ‘buffer plan’, the ‘exception plan’, and the ‘upcoming event plan’; and all three frameworks can help you on this journey, brothers, so make sure to tune in and elevate your alpha!   

Want to know more about what I do and how I can help you? Sign up for a free 45-minute session with me, and I’ll show you how this works!

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

  • A definition of exactly buffering is and is not.
  • Why we buffer; the steps in the process that builds unhealthy habits.
  • How to get out of the cycle of unconscious behavior and gain awareness.
  • The commitment needed to transcend the beta mind-state.
  • Strategies to deal with the fear of deprivation when removing a buffer.
  • How to safely allow urges and retrain the brain around deprivation.
  • The usefulness of a ‘buffer plan’ and an ‘exception plan’.
  • The three important components of an ‘exception plan’; the why, the action plan, and the consequences.
  • How to use the power of the ‘upcoming event plan’ for foreseeable stress.
  • The nine parts of the ‘upcoming event plan’ that help you elevate your alpha.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

  • Learn how you can enter to win one of five FREE coaching sessions here!
  • Sign up for Unleash Your Alpha, your guide to shifting to the Alpha mindset.


[00:00:08] Announcer: Welcome to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast, the only podcast that teaches men the cognitive mastery and alpha mindset that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence. Here’s your host, certified life coach and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud.


[00:00:31] KA: What’s up, my brothers? Welcome back to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. I am your host, Kevin Aillaud. As we move into the next 100 episodes, I am reminded of something, one of my early teachers said. He said, “Stick to the basics. When you feel you’ve mastered them, it’s time to start all over again. Begin anew. Begin with the basics, this time paying closer attention.”

These are some of the basics, my friends, buffering, the awareness of, the attention to and the training to remove them is all part of the basics. Now remember, we are talking about buffering and in the previous episodes, I taught you guys about the value of stopping all buffering, what buffering is, why it’s so easy to get into buffering in the first place, and then create over-desire for ourselves and why it’s so difficult to stop buffering for the same reasons.

Now before I get into how to stop buffering, before I give you guys some of the tools that I use with my students in the academy, I want to remind you of a few things. The first thing I want to clarify is what buffering is. It’s not the thing, my brother. It’s not the action. So many times, I think we get confused about what buffering is. Buffering goes in the action line, but it’s not the alcohol, or the drinking of it. It’s not the pornography, or the watching of it. It’s not the video games, or the playing of them.

I want you guys to understand that buffering is not the action itself. It is the cause of the action, or the desire for the action. Now the difference may seem slight and it’s so important, because there’s nothing wrong with alcohol, right? It’s a liquid. It’s neutral. It’s neither good nor bad. It simply exists in the matrix for us to have a relationship with, which is to say, for us to have thoughts about. That’s what our relationships are. Relationships are thoughts with things and people.

Now the same is true of pornography, the same is true of drugs and television and social media and video games and Tinder and other dating sites and sugar and all the other things. These things are all neutral, brothers. They’re all circumstances. When we engage with these things, they’re still neutral and now they are in action as we take it. To watch, to drink, to eat, to scroll, to swipe, to play and so on. Buffering goes in the A line of the model of alignment to the universal truth. If you remember the model — I know it’s been a while since we’ve talked about this tool for aligning yourself with the universal truth, then you know that circumstances, thoughts, feelings, actions and results make up the fine components of the model. Buffering is an action we take for one of two reasons.

The first is to avoid negative emotions. When we don’t want to feel something uncomfortable, that painful emotion that floods our body from unconscious belief systems, that feeling and the vibration of ourselves that we get from our thoughts, one of the ways humans can avoid that emotional discomfort, which is natural and normal for the motivational triad of the animal brain is to take an action that tricks the brain into believing you’re doing something that is required and important for your survival, enter buffering; an action that the brain associates with survival in a highly concentrated form and releases massive amounts of dopamine to train the body to take this action frequently, to desire this action.

This then leads to the second reasons humans choose to buffer, which is due to self-created over-desire. The more we train our brain to believe that this action, whatever it is, is so important for our survival, the more our brain tells us that we want it and creates the emotion of desire for which we then act in impulse, or compulse and the action becomes more and more difficult to stop doing. I mean, after all if we stop doing this action, our brain will tell us, we are going to die. The brain tells us it’s super-duper important for our survival. What I want you guys to know here is that it’s not the action itself. Buffering is the brain functioning within the beta condition software of the animal-based, motivational triad hardware to avoid emotional pain, seek emotional pleasure and function efficiently, which is to say unconsciously and automatically.

Now this is where my philosophy and methodology deviates from other programs that serve humans to help them get control of their behavior. I don’t say that the circumstance is bad. I don’t say drugs are bad. I don’t say porn is bad, nor do I say that the human must identify as being out of control, like I am an alcoholic, or I am an addict. The truth is the circumstance is neutral and you can learn to remove the over-desire you created, so that you can take these actions, if you choose to, without feeling out of control around them.

Most of my students would never identify as an addict, or having a problem at all. They just want to drink a little liquid courage. “I need a little liquid courage to approach that person, or have a few beers before bed as a reward for a long day at work. Or I just want to have a snack, even though I’m not hungry. Or I just want to watch some pornography, because I don’t have a girlfriend. Or I want to scroll social media to check in on friends and what’s happening in the world.” The brain allows for so many reasons, so many excuses, so many rationalizations and why it needs that dopamine to survive.

Buffering isn’t the thing itself. It is your relationship with the thing, which means it’s your thoughts about the thing. For most of you when it comes to buffering, your thoughts about the thing are unconsciously telling you that you had better engage with this thing; the alcohol, the sugar, the TV, the video games on the phone, the dating app, the pornography, the social media and all the rest of it, or else you’re going to die. Yes, you have conditioned your brain to make your relationship with these things that important. Your very survival depends on it, brother.

Now, you don’t know what you don’t know. When I started out as a confidence coach before making the shift into cognition coaching, I did a few workshops on pornography and how to stop watching it. Pornography was one of my buffers and I wanted to teach humans how to stop watching pornography, if they thought their relationship with porn was creating undesired results. For me, it brought down my self-confidence. So to develop more confidence in my students, removing pornography as a habit was a program that I offered. I actually still do offer this program in the academy.

I advertise this program on Facebook and I was very fascinated by some of the responses I would get. Now I know, the Internet is full of trolls and haters and instigators, but even with that knowledge, I was amazed at some of the comments that showed up in my advertisement. I mean, some of the things were like, “Hey, my girlfriend’s in the military. She’s deployed. I have to watch pornography, or pornography is a part of being an alpha male. Or if you don’t watch pornography, then you’re not an alpha male. Or pornography is how you have sex when you’re an alpha male.” I mean, all kinds of some of these things that came up in my comments.

My point is that most humans don’t know when they are buffering, because it’s such an unconscious process. You have convinced your brain, which has now convinced you that what you’re doing is super important for your survival and you’re probably not even aware of it. How do you become aware of it? That’s the question, right coach? Like, “Okay, coach. If I’m not aware of that I’m buffering, then how do I become aware of it?” You just stop doing it. Stop doing the action just once.

When you have a desire to eat sugar, or drink alcohol, or watch porn, or check Facebook, or Instagram or whatever, just don’t, and see what happens. Put your phone away for the day. Are you constantly thinking about it? Do you have this uncontrollable urge in your body to look at it? Do you feel agitated and anxiety around it? Do you want to check your e-mails, your texts, your likes, your notifications? Or how about this; next time you go to a gathering, next time you go to a party, or a bar, or a club, or whatever, don’t drink any alcohol and pay attention to what happens within you. Is there deprivation, agitation, irritation? Your brain wants to know why you’re putting yourself at risk of death. That’s what’s happening when you don’t reward your over-desire.

Now check this out. I’m going to give you a couple of tools on this episode to help you stop buffering. However, the most important step you can make is to expose your buffer, is to bring it into the light, because once you have awareness around a thing from that point forward, what you do with that thing is a choice. As long as it is unconscious, it has you. It has you believing that you need it for your survival, which is also fine. I want you guys to remember. I am not telling you that you must quit buffering. I’m not telling you that you must live your life as an alpha male. You are totally within your power of freewill, to choose to live in the animal motivational triad hardware and program through a beta condition.

I don’t know what’s best for you, brother. Only you do. Elevating your alpha is not easy and it starts with identifying and removing your buffers, which is also not an easy process. If you’re looking for easy, you won’t find it anywhere. Life isn’t easy. Being a beta male full of buffering is also a path to suffering, as I know because I’ve lived there too. Life is going to be hard. You just have to decide if you want to put in your effort to make your life hard as an alpha, or as a beta.

If you choose to live your life in that animal hardware and beta software, by all means. Look, I’m not going to unfriend you and I’m not going to tell you you can’t listen to this podcast anymore. You’re an adult human being and you make your own choices. If you choose to live your life by training yourself to develop human hardware and alpha software, then keep listening, because here we go. The first thing I want to tell you is that you must commit.

I’ve talked about commitment before. It’s not an easy thing to retrain your brain to know what’s important for your survival and what’s not. Right now, your brain is thinking that this thing, this buffer is so deeply important for you, because it’s a highly concentrated source of dopamine. Understand, it’s a highly concentrated source of pleasure, which your brain thinks, means, it’s what’s keeping you alive, it’s what’s keeping you safe, it’s what’s keeping you in that state of survival.

What’s going to happen here, I want you to imagine this; imagine you’re standing in a field and you’re surrounded by lions that are all staring at you and encroaching in upon you. Now you’re standing there and you’re an expert marksman. I give you a rifle. You’re not afraid of these lions. You know that once they reach a certain distance or proximity from you, you can take them down. Your life is not in danger. These lions are putting their life in danger, because as they approach you, they’re getting closer to where you’re going to pick up that rifle and start to shoot to protect yourself.

Now that rifle is your buffer. That rifle is what your brain is telling you is keeping you alive. What’s going to happen when you start to remove your buffers is that basically, I’m going to come down. I’m going to snatch that rifle out of your hands. But the lions are still there, brother. You know what’s going to happen to your brain? All of a sudden, danger, danger, danger. You are going to freak out. You’re going to think you’re going to die. Your brain is going to tell you that you’re going to die. You are going to undergo major amounts of deprivation. I have taken away your source of survival. I’ve taken that rifle from you. Really, what’s happening is you are choosing to stop taking action in your buffers. That’s the same thing as taking away that rifle.

Here’s the thing and this is what’s so powerful is that as you work to allow your urges, as you work to allow an un-desire, or I would say to recreate, or rewire what you created as an over-desire, then what you’re going to find out is that all the lions around you are holograms. There was never any danger there to begin with. That rifle was a false sense of protection against things that were never even there. That’s where buffering begins. Buffering begins in a way to avoid a negative emotion.

We take up that highly concentrated dopamine hit, so that we can feel good, but then our brain associates that highly concentrated dopamine hit with survival. All of a sudden now, those holograms, those illusions of lions that felt so dangerous now can be very real, because hey, we’ve got this buffer, we’ve got this rifle.

The first thing you’ve got to do is commit. You’ve got to commit to knowing. It’s going to be hard and you’re going to feel terrible at first. You know what? Check this out. I’ll say to my students and I’m going to say this to you, my audience out there. I’m going to say, have you fully committed? Of course, they’re going to say, “Yes, coach. I’m all in.” What I’ll say to them is great. Then let’s set up a contract, so if you go back to your buffering in any way, you will pay me an extra 100K. Then there’s usually that dead silence, or a lot of, “Uh.” Those ums and ahs that follow, right?

I could have switched it the other way too, which is usually a much faster quick agreement. It’s like, if you make it for this time, then I’ll give you a 100K. It’s like, “Oh, yeah. We can do that.” There’s nothing to lose for the student in that way. The point is this, what is something that you desire more, that your brain correlates to survival more than your buffer? Can you use that as a commitment? Not literally of course. I’m not serious when I tell my students that they’re going to have to pay me a $100,000 if they go back on their buffering, because a part of the protocol, part of the process is having those exceptions and having those allowed urges and so on.

You can do it literally if you want to. I mean, look just set it up, a $100,000 to charity. If you go back on your buffer, you give a $100,000 to charity. Think about it, when your brain desires that Instagram, or desires that PornHub, or desires that soda, or whiskey, does your relationship with money override your relationship with these things? Would you give up Instagram for one year, if at the end of that year you knew someone would give you a $100,000? Would you give up alcohol, or sugar, or porn, or anything for one year if it meant that you ate, drank or watched it, you would have to pay someone $100,000? What about 50K?

It’s basically this; your commitment to stopping your buffer has to be epic. If I told you that I would give you 10 million dollars if you stayed on your protocol, or I would kill someone you loved if you didn’t stay on your protocol, then the decision would be easy for you. This gives you tremendous amount of freedom. This gives you the ability to override that willpower that usually leads to relapse. This work is as good as done when your reason for doing it is more compelling than the physical urges and the emotional desire.

Committing is first. Make the commitment. Tell yourself you’re going to do this and then do it, brother. It’s not, “Oh, I’d like to stop buffering. Or, I wish I could stop buffering. Or, even I want to stop buffering.” It’s, “I’ve stopped buffering.” Now, I’ve already discussed allowing urges in a previous podcast episode and the 100 allowed urges tool. Allowing your over-desire to be there, flowing into deprivation as you don’t reward the urge, don’t reward the desire is retraining your brain that you will not die if you don’t take the action. Check out that podcast episode, which is listed in the show notes. Go back and listen to that one, because I don’t want to go over that tool again.

Now the following set of plans I offer my students in the academy are a part of a protocol that they create for themselves personally with my assistance, because obviously, each buffer is different and each student has a different relationship with their individual buffers. The first plan is the buffer plan. Now a buffer plan is a plan that you create in which you decide 24 hours in advance with your prefrontal cortex, from your alpha state, how much, what and when you’re going to buffer and that you will never buffer in response to an urge.

Understand, brothers, this is a process of reconditioning. You are retraining your brain. When you buffer in response to an urge, you interrupt that process, you interrupt the protocol and you fall back into that old wiring. A buffer plan can be made a week in advance, if you want. You can make it a week in advance, you can make it a month in advance, but it always must be done at least 24 hours in advance of any buffering, which basically means that if you’re going to do any buffering, you can’t do it for a day from right now, for 24 hours from right now.

You can make that plan and say, “Right now, I want a buffer, but I can only do it in a day from now.” There are no exceptions to that. Every time you buffer, you must have planned it and written it down 24 hours ahead of time. A buffer plan also includes anticipating how you’re going to feel before, during and after you buffer. The power of this plan lies in giving you a structure to use your conscious, human, alpha brain to make decisions ahead of time, instead of reacting to urges, reacting to that over-desire.

The next plan is the exception plan. Now, I want you to understand that exceptions are a part of protocol work. There may be times you want to make exceptions. It’s so important for you to understand that the key to learning not to react or respond to a presented urge, but instead, to use your prefrontal cortex to plan these exceptions, at least 24 hours in advance, and to make commitments to yourself and keep them.

Now this is very similar to a buffer plan. The idea with the exception plan is that it goes beyond the protocol of the buffer plan. It is completely optional. You don’t have to ever use an exception plan. Most students stick with their buffer plan. Exceptions plans are useful when the aim is to remove the buffer completely, rather than cutting back on the activity. For example, if I want to never eat any sugar again, or I want to never drink any alcohol again, then it may be that I don’t have a buffer plan for my sugar, or a buffer plan for my alcohol, because it’s simply not there. I’m just not going to drink anymore. I’m just not going to eat any more sugar.

The exception plan is nice, because then it’s like, if I have a party I go to, or a anniversary, or a wedding, or something where, “Hey, I may want an exception plan here. I may want to have a glass of champagne, or I may want to have a couple beers, a glass of whiskey, whatever it is that I choose ahead of time,” again 24 hours in advance, or maybe it’s, “I’m going to have a slice of cake, or a couple bites of whatever the birthday is, or maybe the sugar is that I’m going to have an exception on this plan.” It must be done in advance. It’s a lot like that buffer plan, where you just give yourself that exception and then you get back on that protocol, which may be zero, zero intake.

Now I want you to be prepared for the consequences of the exception. That’s the idea of the exception plan. The buffer plan has its protocol. The exception plan has its consequences. Maybe you won’t physically feel well after the exception. Maybe you’ll feel foggy, maybe you’ll have a headache, maybe you’ll feel a sickness in your stomach, maybe you’ll have a hangover. It’s important to realize that as a part of the planning process, you are signing up for the full experience, which includes the negative, which includes that consequence of what happens if you decide to make the exception.

Now the exception plan is very clean. It’s basically just three parts. The first part is why am I making this exception? I mean, you have the date. You want to put the day of the exception down. It’s got to be at least 24 hours in advance. The first question is why am I making this exception? Have that reason. Understand why you’re doing this, why you’re making this exception, why is it important for you to make this exception?

The next step is the action plan on exception day. This is basically the buffer plan. If you have a buffer plan, you can use your buffer plan, or you can go beyond your buffer plan. If you don’t have a buffer plan, if your buffer plan is just zero tolerance, nothing. It’s just, “I’m not going to take in any alcohol. I’m not going to take in any sugar. I’m not going to watch any pornography, or play any video games,” then the exception plan is the plan. It’s the action plan on the exception day, which goes back to the buffer plan of what, how much, when and so on.

The third part of the exception plan is the consequence that you’re signing up for. This is also very important. There cannot be any I don’t knows in the buffer plan. There cannot be any I don’t knows in the exception plan. You’ve got to know what the consequences of, what’s the net negative of choosing to partake in this particular buffer. Now you will know some of this, because you are working towards removing this buffer anyway, so you know how this particular action affects you.

I’m going to give you an example. I’m going to give you guys an example here, a very quick, a very easy example using alcohol, where maybe the date of the exception is your birthday and the why am I making this exception, it’s because it’s my birthday dinner. Again, you know when your birthday is. You are making this exception at least 24 hours in advance. If alcohol is your thing, if you’re the type of guy that gets home from work and you have a couple glasses of whiskey, you have a couple glasses of wine, or you’re doing the beer thing, and you do that as a reward. You say like, “Look. I want to cut back on my drinking. I noticed that I’m getting a little overweight. I’m noticed I’m not sleeping well. I’m noticing that it’s been affecting me in the morning. Just the cost as well I just don’t want to be drinking as much.

If alcohol is your buffer, if it’s something that you’re saying, “Oh, I’m rewarding myself for a long day’s work, or just help me de-stress or relax at night,” then if you’re working on removing the alcohol and then you want to make the exception for your birthday, then at least 24 hours in advance, brother, you know that date, you say, why am I making this exception? It’s my birthday dinner. I’m going to go back to drinking. You’ve taken all this time. Maybe if it’s been months without drinking and you say, “I’m going to make an exception. It’s my birthday dinner.”

Now my action plan on that exception day is I will have up to and no more than two glasses of wine, or two glasses of whiskey, or whatever it is. That’s your action. My action is this. Maybe I’ll have one, maybe I’ll have none, but I will have no more than two. That’s how much. You could even be more specific and say, I’ll have no more than 16 ounces. I’ll have no more than 24 ounces. Same thing with alcohol, same thing with beer. “I’ll have no more than four 12 ounce cans, or bottles, or two tall boys,” or whatever you decide to do. Now that action plan is your alpha state. That’s your prefrontal cortex saying, “Look, I am in control. I am in control of this. This is my birthday dinner. I’m choosing to drink. I know I haven’t drank for a month or two months. I used to drink out of control, so now I’m choosing ahead of time to have no more than XYZ, two glasses of beer.”

For some of you and for some of my students, that can be a scary thing. That can be a thing where your brain starts to say, “Whoa! Now we’re going to go back in this old habit.” You start to think about, “Whoa! This is going to take me back.” That’s why it’s so important to stick to your action plan and then get back on your protocol the next day. That’s the point of the exception plan. Stick to the action you’re going to have that day, and then the next day you’re right back on your protocol.

Now the third part is the consequences. The consequences that you’re signing up for and you know what that is. For this action plan, you know the date of the exception is my birthday, it’s my birthday dinner is the reason. I’m going to have no more than three beers. The consequences I’m signing up for is that I will have a lower quality of sleep and I may not feel my best the next day. That’s for me, brothers. I know how alcohol affects me. I don’t sleep that well at night and I’m usually a little groggy the next day. That’s my exception plan for alcohol, if I’m choosing to drink on my birthday. Otherwise, I’m just not really drinking a lot. I don’t really have much of a buffer plan around alcohol. It’s just, I don’t do it anymore.

Now there are so many plans and protocols I offer my students, but for the sake of the time domain of this podcast episode, I’m going to finish with the upcoming event plan. I think the upcoming event plan is a good one, because just as we plan exceptions from our buffer plan with our prefrontal cortex, we also want to do the same for situations where we expect there will be a particularly stressful or difficult situation, our circumstance and where we might normally have added triggers or circumstances that might cause us to deviate from the buffer plan.

We’ve got this buffer plan. It was like, “Okay. This is my buffer plan. I’m going to stick to this.” Then there’s this upcoming event. There’s this upcoming event that I know is coming up that like, “Whoa! This is going to trigger me. It’s going to cause stress or difficult work. I know that I’m going to want to take action beyond what my buffer plan is.” The upcoming event plan allows you to anticipate that your unconscious brain will attempt to make you think that you will die if you don’t buffer. It’s going to be like that, “Whoa! I need survival. I need it now.”

Having this plan helps you keep your prefrontal cortex in charge and your alpha elevated. What the upcoming event plan is it’s a little bit longer. It’s nine parts. I want to go through this one with you guys. I want to walk through this one with you as well. The first thing is what is the event? I want you guys to know though that the upcoming event plan, there’s no exceptions to this. It’s just, this is what you will follow. This is your plan. This is your alpha. This is your CEO brain telling your employee brain how it’s going to behave during this upcoming event.

Now the first thing is what is the event? Just describe the event, then you go into what will be challenging about this event. What is your brain telling you about this event where you’re going to believe, or you’re going to think that you’re going to trigger some sort of need, some sort of urge, some sort of desire to buffer? Now the third one is what do you want to do at the event? What is your decision ahead of time? What is your commitment to yourself? In other words, do you have what’s challenging, but also, how do you want to show up? How do you want to behave?  How do you want to be at this event? What kind of person? It’s that mental rehearsal, brother. What kind of person do you want to be? How do you want to show up from your alpha state? The next question is what is your specific plan to carry this out? Knowing that you’re going to be hit, knowing you’re going to be hit with urge, knowing you’re going to be hit with desire, how do you want to show up anyway and what is your plan for doing this? Now when you arrive at the event, how will you justify or excuse not following your plan?

This is not a reason to not follow your plan. This is you anticipating the obstacles. This is you anticipating what your brain is going to tell you when you’re there and those urges and desires start to hit. When you’re there, what is your brain going to start to do? What’s your brain going to start to say to you to rationalize, to justify, to excuse all the things that you have already pre-planned not to do? You’re not going to buffer, you’re not going to drink, you’re not going to whatever it is with this event. Not going to eat sugar, or drink alcohol, or take your phone out of your pocket to look at whatever. There’s none of that. What is your brain going to tell you when it’s like, “Oh, I need to check my text messages. Oh, I need to check my Facebook”? Your brain is going to come with an excuse for you to do that, so anticipate that.

The next question is visualize three scenarios where you may be challenged and what action you want to take. Again, brother, this is mental rehearsal. What you’re essentially doing is you are looking at those scenarios where okay, now I have this urge. There’s a scenario, the scenario is you’re a single dude, you see a beautiful woman and you’re on a buffer plan to not drink. Whoa, there’s a scenario right there. Here’s an upcoming event, there might be a lot of beautiful, single women, I can imagine that I’m going to want to deviate from my buffer plan to not drink. What is one of those scenarios and what is going to be challenging and what action are you going to want to take, instead of deviating from your plan? Instead of going to the bar to get that liquid courage, what action do you want to take instead?

The next question is if it gets really hard, like if the urges are unbearable, if the desire is vibrating at such an intensity, that you don’t know if you’re going to make it, you really think you’re going to die if you don’t buffer right now, then what is your plan? It’s like plan B, plan C. Plan A is to the upcoming event like, “Here’s what I’m going to do.” What’s plan B? When things get really, really hard?

The last couple questions are for you to go into the event. The first one is write a message to yourself that you can read at this event to remind you to follow your plan. Just something very short. You can excuse yourself. You can go to the restroom, or go to the lobby of the event and you can just very quickly read this message that you’ve written to yourself to remind you that you’re an alpha male, that you’re in control, that it’s just the vibrations in the cells of your body that are creating desire, that it’s just you are programming your brain to desire this action in order to get the dopamine secretion, because your brain is afraid, because it’s taught you about survival. Because at this point, all it’s saying is that you need this, or else, you’re going to die.

What is that little message you can write to yourself at this event to read it and remind you to follow your plan? Then the last one is write a mantra that you can say quickly and quietly in your head. If you don’t have time to excuse yourself, if you don’t have time to go and read your message, what’s a very quick mantra that you could say, it’s like, “It’s not going to kill me. It’s not going to kill me if I don’t buffer.” Sometimes, it can be as simple as that. It’s like, “It’s just my brain thinking I’m going to die. It’s okay. I’m not going to die.” Whatever it is, whatever that mantra is for you, that’s the last part of the upcoming event plan. It’s those nine points.

Now brothers, that’s what I’ve got for you this week. The time for you is now. Go to and enroll in the academy. You can do that at the top menu, where it says ‘Work with Kevin’ and click on the link for the Elevated Alpha Society Spartan Academy. Brothers, buffering wastes time and money. It disconnects you from yourself and other people. It leaves you with physical consequences, all that stuff that I call a net negative.

Most of all, what’s most insidious about buffering is that buffering is run from beta software that is programmed on survival-based motivational triad hardware from an animal brain. Elevate and step into your alpha state. You can learn to run alpha software written on thrive-based motivational hardware from a human brain. You are an alpha, brother. Unleash, develop, train and elevate your alpha.


[00:32:16] Announcer: Thank you for listening to this episode of The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. If you enjoy what you’ve heard and want even more, sign up for Unleash Your Alpha: Your Guide to Shifting to the Alpha Mindset at