In today’s episode, we wrap up the June theme of Indomitable Self-Confidence by returning to some fundamentals. I would like to remind you, brothers, of the most basic truth, which goes even deeper than the universal truth. When students approach me to discover themselves and learn about who they are and how to become the most amazing versions of themselves, I have a methodology to guide them along that path.
What I wish to impart to you today, brothers is that everything is a story. And the question is, where do your stories about the world and yourself exist for you? What are your convictions, what are the stories that you tell yourself about yourself, what are the stories that you tell yourself about the world? Most humans are seeking a better story, and that might be true for you also. That new story means different things to different people depending on their upbringing and conditioning. It could mean more money, a better relationship, or the safety of a stable job. Many of you already know from learning my methodology, that it’s not our circumstances that determine our feelings, it’s our cognition that does this.
In today’s episode, I wish to emphasize that the aim is not to create a new story. The true aim is recognizing that all the stories are stories, that’s the primary goal of the academy. Today I will discuss two problems many of us run into when we try to adjust our stories. The first is the problem of new stories not ‘sticking’ and the second is that stories only form a small part of the truth. We must learn to recognize that there is nothing in your life that is not a story. There is nothing that is keeping you from doing or seeing or achieving anything except for the story in your mind because the world doesn’t have stories. It only has the stories that you assign to it.
Join me today as we delve into the nature of stories and wrap up our month of Indomitable Self-Confidence!
Want to know more about what I do and how I can help you? Sign up for a free 45-minute session with me, and I’ll show you how this works!
What You’ll Learn from This Episode:
- The methodology of coaching and teaching.
- Understanding where your story exists for you.
- Cognition determines our feelings, not circumstances.
- Recognizing that everything is a story.
- The aim is not to create a new story.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
- Enroll for the Indomitable Self-Confidence Course here.
- Sign up for Unleash Your Alpha, your guide to shifting to the Alpha mindset.
- Enroll for the Elevated Alpha Society Spartan Academy here.
[0:00:09.6] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast, the only podcast that teaches men the cognitive mastery and alpha mindset that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence. Here’s your host, certified life coach and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud.
[0:00:32.7] KA: What’s up, my brothers? Welcome back to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. I am your host, Kevin Aillaud. Before we get into the content for the episode today, I want to let you all know that there are only a few days left to register for the coach certification course. Class 001 is going to be closing registration, maybe by the time you listen to this episode because I know I release these episodes on Friday but if you don’t listen on Friday, if you listen on like a Saturday or Sunday or even Monday on your drive to work, you may be at the very last minute.
You may be at the deadline for enrolling in the certification course. Now, that’s okay, because class 002 is open for enrollment, you can always get into the next course that’s being offered to get you that information and that basically to teach you the methodology that II teach and I use to coach my students. Of course, enrolling in the academy is always open for you as well.
There’s nothing that closes on that but what’s so special about class 001 is numbers, it is the very first co-certification course that I’m offering. It is a special group, it’s kind of like that plank owning group. When I was in the Navy in a new ship was commissioned, the first crew to work on that ship was called the plank owning crew and that’s what class 001 is. Class 001 is also a combination of 1.0 and 2.0 methodologies that I use at the academy.
By going and enrolling in class 001, you’re getting the level one and the level two where in the future, other classes, that’s going to be split up into level one certification, level two certifications. That’s another thing, class 001 is also going to be my mastermind group.
[0:02:11.6] When you guys graduate, you will become a part of my mastermind crew and there’s a lot going on with that as well, whether or not you decide to work at the academy or not. I just want to throw it out there to all of you brothers that listen to this podcast because I know you listen to it every week it comes out, you listen, you love it, you guys send me emails and you’re excited, you’re so excited to find out what comes next, I want to let you know that class 001 is closing and if you’ve been thinking about it, been hesitating or even the academy, go ahead and head to the website now because those doors will be shutting down on Tuesday.
Now, not for the academy, of course, that’s just for the certification course. The academy is ongoing, however, in September, we are going to unveil, should enroll everybody into the 2.0 who is now there and then we’ll be bringing 1.0, new 1.0 students onboard because everybody’s evolution is taking off, everybody’s on that next step, moving towards that next step and it’s absolutely amazing the kinds of things that are happening at the academy, the process, the methodologies that are going on there, it’s so – it’s great for me as a coach to see students get the results, that’s what’s so amazing for me.
Now, today in this episode, what I’m going to do is I’m going to complete the month, I’m going to complete June, indomitable self-confidence month with some fundamentals. This really is the fundamental, if there was any such thing as a fundamental, there is any such thing as a source or as a foundation or what is the primary thing? What is the one thing, how would you sum up everything? Of course there is the universal truth but we can go even deeper than the universal truth and we’re going to do some of that today.
We’re going to go all the way back to the beginning and I’m going to remind all of you, whether you’ve been listening to this podcast since 2018 or whether you just started listening to it and you’ve been binge listening to all the episodes.
[0:03:56.8] I want to remind all of you guys about the most basic truth. It’s not the universal truth, even though that is the most basic truth, there is one that goes even deeper there. You guys see, I have a methodology. Here’s the thing. I use the methodology, I have a process, you might be saying, “Okay, what is the methodology? What is the process?” It is true brothers.
You know this because you’re a podcast listener, it is true that I’m a teacher and that’s what I do on the podcast is I teach. I teach meta cognition, I teach cognitive mastery, I teach emotional ownership, I teach energy mechanics and so on, there’s so many things that I teach you on this podcast.
However, I also have a process, I have the academy and now as I mentioned, I have the coach certification course and this process, these methodologies are for teaching teachers and coaching coaches. This means that we begin somewhere, you understand what I mean by this brother?
In order to have a methodology and this is not just teaching, I’m not just throwing concepts out there into the podcast broadcast, right? The podcast broadcasting sphere or whatever, it’s not just a bunch of informations being thrown out there, there’s an actual process. There’s an actual methodology that I use when students come to me for self-discovery, to learn more about who they are and to become the most amazing and greatest versions of who they’re meant to be.
[0:05:08.1] Because there’s a methodology, because there’s a process, no matter what the result is that you’re looking for or its’ more wealth, better relationships, optimal health, whatever the relationship is, there must be a beginning or whatever the result you’re looking for is there must be a beginning.
That beginning must be somewhere, because of the method, because of the methodology and because there is a process, because there is a movement, all movements have a starting point. When I begin with students, really, what I begin with, it was initial testing moments because every new relationship is a test to determine where the mind lives in its story.
Where does the mind live in the story? Where does the story exist for you? What are your convictions, what are your beliefs and so on, what are the stories that you tell yourself about yourself, what are the stories that you tell yourself about the world?
There is a story that is being told in every human being and this story is the framework of every human’s reality because all of our reality, the construct that we share is simply a story that we tell. Most humans are seeking a better story. Brothers, think about this, people want something, you probably have this for you.
[0:06:19.0] This is probably even for you too. You want something that you don’t have and you think that when you have it, your story will be better, right? This is kind of the human condition, the circumstances determine the experience, right?
The circumstances determine our feelings. Now, as you know from listening to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast is listening to my methodology to my ideas that this isn’t true, that it’s not our circumstances that determines our feelings, it’s obviously our cognition that does this.
You know that it isn’t this way, this is not the way it works. It’s like saying that the effect needs to exist in a certain way like the results need to be a certain way so that the cause can initiate it. It’s completely backwards and it’s impossible but it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter that it’s backwards and it’s impossible because the way we experience life, this seems to be true.
It seems to be true that we can’t enjoy, we can’t be happy, we can’t have an experience, we can’t choose our experience unless the story that we tell ourselves matches the story that we’re told that we’re supposed to have. We want this better story, there’s this story about what it is that we want, right?
[0:07:26.2] There’s a story that we need to have this, we need to have houses and money and cars and things and success and lifestyle and whatever I say. It’s even difficult for me to be specific because everybody has their own story. There’s a story about what it is that we want, right? This sort of conditions to story around society that we should have these things, these things mean that you’re successful, they’re markers of success, whatever they are.
That’s a story, those are all stories. There is the story about what it means to not have these things, that if you don’t have these things, whatever they are, that there might be something wrong with you, that you didn’t do the right things in life that you made too many mistakes in life, that you didn’t follow the right paths, you don’t have these things that everybody’s supposed to have when they’re living the correct life, when they’re living the right way.
There’s another story, it’s a story about what it means to have the things that you are living in the right way, right? The story about the things that you want and then there’s the stories that people have about what it means to not have these things.
Then there are the stories about how these things contribute to having a better life. Then there’s a story about what better means. That’s even a story in and of itself to say that they are the story about the way these things contribute to having a better life and then to have the story with better means, because we’re even making that up as we go.
[0:08:36.2] We’ve got our stories about what it means to have a better life as well as the things, the stories about the things that we think are making life better in this story way, in this self-described, self-determined way.
Now, listen to me brothers, it’s not my role. It’s not my role, it’s not my role as a guide to decide what is better for you, that’s not what this episode is about. This episode isn’t about going into better and worse and right and wrong and good and bad and you know, all the subjectivity that happens in the mind.
I’m not doing that one this time. I’ve done that before; you guys have heard me talk about these things before but that’s not what I’m doing this time. I don’t believe, this is again part of my methodology, I don’t believe that anybody, except for you, knows what’s right for you. Nobody knows except for you, knows what’s better for you, there’s nobody out there, not your closest friends, not your parents, not your therapist. Nobody knows what a better life means for you, except for you.
If you don’t know what a better life is for you, then there’s something blocking that knowing, because you do know but you may say “I don’t know” because of all the conditioning that’s blocking the knowing. That’s blocking the truth of what you do know. You do know that there’s that conditioning in there and that’s all story.
Now, in order to aid my students on this self-discovery path, this is really what the path is, certainly, the result can be better relationships. Certainly, the result can be aiding more people or taking more risks or having more friends or just even having a better marriage. It can have anything to do with relationship, better relationship with family, friends, romantic, spousal, girlfriend, whatever the relationship is.
[0:10:14.2] It could be more wealth, it could be learning how to run a business, it could be getting a promotion in the business that you’re in, getting more education or credentials or believing in yourself just generally to start another business or side hustle or anything you want to do when it comes to wealth and having the things in your life that you’re looking to have.
Again, based on a lot of what the story is you were told as a kid. Again, it could have to do with your health as well. Whatever the result is you’re looking for, the cause or the path is always self-discovery. You will find the results that you want when you know more about who it is you already are.
The aim is never the new story. The aim is never to create a new movie or a new type of conditioning for you to go from one character to another, that’s what most people want, that’s probably what you want listening to this podcast.
“Well, I just want to know how I can be an alpha. I just want to know how I could live like an alpha, how I could live a better life, how I could live an alpha life.” Most people want that new story, the different story, they’re telling themselves a story that they don’t want to be telling themselves and then they want to find this new story. They want to feel better or they want what they don’t have, right?
[0:11:23.5] There’s something out there that they don’t have and that their brain has been conditioned, there’s been a story that’s been told to them their whole lives, this could be you, right? There’s this story that you’ve been told your whole life that now your brain believes is true, that you need to have this thing and if you don’t have this thing, then you can’t be free or you can’t be loved or you can’t be safe or whatever, right?
I cannot count how many times, I cannot tell you how many times I have heard that I want more money, I’ve had students tell me, “I want more money so that I can be free.” Let me put it this way, if I had a nickel, five cents for you guys who don’t live in the US, a nickel is five cents, it’s one 20th of a dollar, of a US dollar. If I had one 20th of a US dollar, five cents every time I heard a human, student or otherwise, tell me that they want more money so that they can be free, I’d have enough money to give them so they could be free, right?
They can have this idea that they are free. Because it’s so many times, it’s so much that people have this idea in their head, the story in their head that once I have more money, then I can be free. Once I have a wife or a girlfriend or relationship, then I’ll feel loved, right?
Once I have a job, then I’ll feel safe. There’s the whole thing about being an entrepreneur, right? “I can’t be an entrepreneur because it’s not safe, I can’t go out and do my self-employed, run my own business because it’s not safe, I need to have a job, I need to be employed to be safe.”
[0:12:50.5] This is the things that cause safety, right? But we know this is not true brothers, you and I know that this is not the way it works, it’s not the universal truth and this is why I’m telling you. It’s not about changing the story, it’s not about just going and taking one story and changing to a new story.
It’s recognizing that all the stories are stories, that’s the aim, that’s the goal, that’s the goal of the academy. The first part of the academy is the method, it’s the process but the first part of that process, the very first part is to recognize that it’s all a story to begin with. That money, that relationship, it’s all story, that is the primary principle.
Brothers, everything is a story. If you take anything from this episode, if you take anything from this week, if you take anything from this month, if you take anything form this year, if I can tell you one thing as The Alpha Male Coach, whether you’re a student or not, I would tell you that everything is a story.
There is nothing in your life that is not a story. There is nothing that is keeping you from doing or seeing or achieving anything except for the story in your mind because the world doesn’t have stories. It only has the stories that you assign to it. Now, there are two problems with trying to change the story, there’s two problems with trying to rewrite the old story.
They try to swap it up for some kind of new condition and the first problem is likely what you’ve run into already in your life, which is maybe what’s brought you to this podcast and would bring several students into the academy, which is that the new story doesn’t take, which is that they go to therapy or you go to coaching or therapy or some guide or some other place and they try to give you a new story.
“Here is a new story, just believe this, think this, do this, start this. Here is the new map, here is the new blueprint. Start living your life this way” right? “Here is the new morning routine, here is the new meal plan, here is the new workout plan, here is the new affirmations, here is the new meditations, here’s the new…” whatever. Here is the new story and it doesn’t take.
There is a willpower involved, “I have to get this. I have to just be this. I have to exist this way. I have to force this story. I have to force this lifestyle” but it doesn’t take. The story doesn’t take and then there’s a relapse and when the relapse happens, the old story becomes stronger. This is called confirmation bias and this happens a lot. This happens all the time when people try to do new things, when they try to change their story.
They’ll go out, they’ll try, they’ll try, maybe they’ll try once, twice, three times, maybe they’ll try for a week, maybe they’ll try for a month but eventually, their brain says, “This isn’t working, this is not the story. I don’t believe this story, this story is not working for us” and then the old story becomes more like a fact.
[0:15:25.8] They kind of go back to the old story and the old story seems like a fact because, well, they tried to change the story and if it was a story, it would be easy to change because it wasn’t easy to change, it must not be a story. It must be the truth, it must be the fact, it must be the way it is, so that old story becomes that much more strong.
For example, running a business, you’ve been an employee, you’ve been a W2 employee your whole life. You say, “You know what? I want to run my own business, I’m going to give this a shot.” Your new story is that you’re an entrepreneur, your new story is that you’re self-employed so you go out and you are doing the things, you are doing the stuff, you’re setting everything up.
Obviously, the whole list, there’s the things that you do. There is the doing of running a business but the story in there is not quite changing. It’s not quite in the mind, so it doesn’t quite take, right? You’re used to thinking yourself as an employee, so the new story is not quite taking so then there’s the relapse. The relapse of, “Oh, I need this job. I need a job to feel safe. I’m never going to make any money as a self-employed. I’m never going to make money in this business.”
“I am never going to make any money as an entrepreneur” and then the failure comes in and the quitting comes in. It’s no longer this idea that it is possible. The old story is all that exists, the old story of needing to be safe. That is the first problem that we are trying to just change the story, go from one story to the other.
[0:16:36.9] The second problem is that all conditioning, all stories, it doesn’t matter what they are whether they’re intentional or unintentional, whether they’re conscious or unconscious, all stories are just a fabrication of the truth and it is only giving you, it is only providing you with a general understanding of a fraction of a percentage of a particle of reality.
You will never know the truth as long as you are living in a story because the story is not the totality. The story is a particle, it’s just a little tiny bit. In terms of a path to self-discovery, in terms of a path of self-knowledge of knowing who you are, knowing why you’re here, knowing what you are capable of, there is no story that’s never going to fulfill that. There is no story that’s ever going to do that.
There is the unintentional story, the story that beta condition we talked about that you’re probably been living in your whole life and not even knowing it. Most people are still living in some even going through this training, even going through this coaching, there’s still so much conditioning that you may not even be aware of some of it that’s hanging on because it’s happened the entire life, your entire life.
There have been stories that have been building up to create an idea of the way the world is. I got to tell you something brothers, to go to the place where you are living in a state and I mean living in a state of being where you know that everything is a story, this state of being is the most liberating way to exist that I personally have ever experienced and this is the foundation of the process.
This is why I begin here is the beginning of the process, the methodology. It’s the beginning of what it really means to be free. Now, I’m talking about really free. I am not talking about this idea of linking money to freedom, of some kind of financial freedom or when you have X amount of money and all of a sudden you have this warp, this time warp, this mind warp where everything is going to change your whole cognition of reality, the old paradigm of what it means to exist as a human being will suddenly flop, will suddenly change.
[0:18:36.6] I got to tell you something, that doesn’t happen. It doesn’t happen that way, it doesn’t matter. You know, most people that win the lottery that I understand in terms of the data, most humans that win the lottery within three to five years, they’re back to being broke again because they want to be financial free but they have no idea how to be free.
They have no idea that freedom has nothing to do with finances and so they get all of these money but then they go back and spend it because they have no idea that it’s not about this. Freedom exists here and now you are already free. It is the knowing that this is a story. It is all a story, not just that money is a story but what the value of money is a story.
The way we use money is a story, the way we link it to freedom is a story, all of that is a story. This is the foundation of the process, the beginning of what it really means to be free and it’s the cognitive birthplace of human existence. It is the beginning of the process and the harder the methodology and this is the path of awareness, deconditioning and observations.
I want you to think about this for a moment, think about this statement. Think about what I’m telling you and I say this to my students as well, this is what you’re going – you enroll in the academy brothers, it’s where we begin. Think about it, spend some time with it everything is a story. Everything, every single thing is a story and really, really think about it because there is nothing that exists in our human experience that is not a story.
Time is a story, a minute is a story. Yes, it’s a story we all agreed to, right? You understand one minute, we all measure a minute the same. It doesn’t matter what country you’re in, what language you speak, we all measure one minute of time the same way but a minute of time is manmade. We made this up, we are measuring time only through our own mind.
[0:20:16.0] Without the mind of a human being, there is no minute, there is no time. Time exists in terms of like the fabric of space time. There may be a passing of time but there is no minute, there is no hour, there is no day. Of course, there is a time that it takes for the earth to revolve on its axis, to go to spin one time around where call it a day if you want but the story of what it means to have a day, the story of the value of the earth rotating once on its axis, that’s a story.
The story of a day without human beings is meaningless. Everything is a story, money is this way, all things are this way and when you really stop to understand it, when you really stop to understand it, there may be some moments. There may be some moments in this thought experiment where you’re doing this and they become really terrifying like this jarring sense of this void.
The sense of being slipping into this vacuum of everythingness of all of this, balancing on that line of being in and out. This is where you can function in your alpha state because you are in the experience, you are in the human experience of separation where the only thing that exists is a story but you can also be out of it, where you know it’s a story.
When you know it’s a story, you have some command over it. You have some control over it, you can begin to even write the story as you chose to have it unfold for you in results. Passing through neutral is the beginning of self-knowledge and the place where you’re superpower emerges. This is where you find who you already are. Everything is a story.
Nothing is power unless you give it the power of the story through the story. The story is what brings the life force to the neutral world. We bring the life force to the neutral world. There is a life force in the neutral world but the story is how the life force of the neutral world is described through the veil of human ignorance because it becomes a prison made of fantasy.
[0:22:13.8] There are some stories that we all agreed to and are neutral, right? Like time, like money, a minute, a second, an hour, this is neutral. A dollar, ten dollars, this is neutral like how we think about it of course is our own story. That goes in our thought line, that is our own personal cognition but a ten dollar US note is a 10 dollar US note.
This is neutral, it’s a story that we all agreed to. Some stories that we all agreed to are enforced, like we say, “That this story is not neutral. This story must be worked against or enforced or it must be regulated in some way” right? We talked about the 10 Commandments, we talk about murder and stealing, these are stories that we agreed to that are neutral but we have agreed that they’re against human nature that we want to enforce them, that we want to regulate them.
There are some stories that shift based on the times. These stories have to do with our health, they have to do with our lifestyle. 2,000 years ago, the way human beings viewed health, the stories that we told ourselves about what was healthy and the stories that we told ourselves about how to live a lifestyle are completely different when we share them.
You see now, the world is becoming more easy to communicate globally like we can communicate things very fast all around the world, so our stories that we all agreed to are shifting based on these times and they have shifted a lot based on time but whether these are stories that are all neutral, whether these are stories that are all enforced or whether they are stories that are changing and shifting throughout time, they are all stories.
Nonetheless, they are all stories. How you think about these stories are your personal stories but they’re all stories. When we begin, we want to work deductively.
[0:23:58.4] I’m going to close up here brothers because I know this is becoming a longer episode. I am going to go deeper into how this expands and how you can use this to apply to your life and really step into your alpha state by building and creating the story that serves you but I want you to understand that we always do this deductively.
When you enroll in the academy, we have to work deductively. We got to work deductively. You can’t get to infinity or you won’t get to infinity by constructing little bits of space. The whole is always greater than the sum of the parts, so the great unifying truth is that everything is a story. This is the primary principle, it begins with the whole.
It begins with everything, it begins with what is infinite and what is eternal and it allows the variants in the construct because truth is a pathless land. That great teacher said that, truth is a pathless land, and so because this is the unifying truth, this great unifying truth that everything is a story, every person is allowed, every person has their own and has this right.
This ability, this power to have their own beliefs, to have their own theories, their own hypothesis, their own conjectures, their own prevarications because it all fits on the unifying primary principle that everything is a story. This is the very beginning of it all, everything is a story. It is the very first thing you will learn and it is the only thing you ever really need to know.
It is all that can ever be contained in a very simple statement. From these statement, everything is a story, we get the universal truth and we’ll going to get what I’m going to send to you guys next week. We get the primary principle of all of these, of everything, it’s the beginning and the end. It’s where we start and where we will complete.
[0:25:44.1] This is where we build the alpha construct. This is where we build the way. Everything rests on this fundamental principle brothers, everything is a story and until next week, elevate your alpha.
[END OF INTERVIEW]
[0:26:03.7] ANNOUNCER: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Alpha Male Coach Podcast. If you enjoyed what you’ve heard and want even more, sign up for Unleash your Alpha: Your guide to shifting to the alpha mindset, at the alphamalecoach.com/unleash.