Ep #262: Better

There are just a few spots remaining for the upcoming Awaken the One retreat, and I want to offer it to you, brothers. It’s exciting to do this retreat in particular with you, brothers, since it’s an initiation process where you can invest more deeply in who you are, rather than just going through the motions. This life-changing journey to Columbia kicks off on October 8th, so be sure to book now so that you have ample time to prepare before we set off.

Today’s episode is all about betterment, brothers. Now, I’m not suggesting that you need to change or be better. This idea of being “better” or wanting “more” is relative. In fact, I believe that the entire notion of “betterment” is just a marketing ploy, an illusion, a Ponzi scheme.

Everywhere you go, you have advertising designed specifically to make you feel like you need to be better. And I’m not saying you shouldn’t try to do things that might enrich you, what I’m saying is that you should ask yourself “Why?” Because what does it even mean to be better? There’s no level of accumulation or betterment that can transform you into a concept that exists only in the realm of illusion.

Brother, striving to be ‘better’ is futile because the ‘you’ we often refer to is just a narrative. If you aim to improve within that narrative, you’re simply enhancing the story. In reality, by telling yourself you’re inadequate, you’re complicating your story, turning life into a game of constant betterment. It’s a choice you’ve made about life. But what if we could choose simplicity over complexity? Acceptance over betterment?

Join me as we unravel these thoughts and embark on a journey of deeper understanding. And don’t forget about our upcoming retreat – it could be the transformative experience you’ve been searching for. Listen now, and let’s continue to elevate our alpha, together!


What Youll Learn from This Episode:

  • Suffering is all about perspective.
  • Why striving to be “better” is an illusion.
  • The story we tell ourselves about betterment.
  • Why we are all affected by the human rule of duality.
  • Enlightenment as here and now, not somewhere in the future.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

  • Remember to check out the new How to Live Your Purpose course.
  • Enroll for the Elevated Alpha Society Spartan Academy here.
  • Sign up for Unleash Your Alpha, your guide to shifting to the Alpha mindset.


[0:00:09.6] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast, the only podcast that teaches men the cognitive mastery and alpha mindset that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence. Here’s your host, certified life coach, and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud.


[0:00:32.5] KA: What’s up, my brothers? Welcome back to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. I am your host, Kevin Aillaud, and I want to begin with the retreat because I want to make this kind of brief, kind of quick. There is just a few more weeks remaining, which means it’s really going to close. It’s going to close pretty quickly here and there’s only a couple of slots remaining anyway.

We kind of can run the retreat as it is but I just want to offer these last couple of spots to, I guess, you, you that are listening because really, if you want it, it’s there for you but there only are a couple left and this is going to be not the last retreat that I do so. There will be other opportunities for you to come out and experience and share time and transformation which again, like that’s what I do, that’s what I love. So it’s so exciting to do that. It would be exciting and amazing to do that with you.

It’s exciting for me to do that with all of my brothers. This retreat, there are a couple of spots left and you can be one of those men that comes out but with this one particular, it is an initiation process and I guess what I mean by initiation to be maybe a little bit more as clear as I can be without interaction, without you actually asking questions and having – and us having a dialog, which we could do.

You could sign up for a consultation call and of course, fill out that application on the website, awakentheoneretreats.com but when I say it’s an initiation retreat, brothers, what I mean is that this one here will be the beginning for more to come and as relationships unfold, as journeys intertwine, as you know, kind of souls or spiritual beings come together and entangle energy, entangle aura, the relationship always unfolds more and more where every moment is more beautiful than the last, more beautiful than the previous.

[0:02:28.1] It becomes the kaleidoscope or that flower that unfolds. So this, the retreat, the first one is always the initiation. It’s always the beginning retreat, which is why we use the number two for this retreat because two is the beginning of the spiritual journey. It’s the beginning of any journey really but it’s the beginning of that process.

So that’s why I want to invite you guys to this one. Again, there’s a couple of spots left, there’s many men that are coming already but with a couple of spots left, if you are out there, you are listening and you’ve been thinking about it, this is the beginning. This retreat is that first step. The ones that follow, there will be more first-step retreats, but the ones that follow, they add to this, you know?

It becomes accumulative, you become more, and actually, when I say accumulative, it’s the opposite but we can’t understand accumulation without its opposite and we can’t understand its opposite, which is really a letting go, right? It’s the releasing, you know? Because to accumulate is to add on, so subtracting or releasing.

That’s more of what we’re doing and that’s what I’m going to get into when I talk about simplicity today because simplicity is a letting go. It doesn’t necessarily mean, “Less than.” Understand brothers, it doesn’t necessarily mean less than or complexity meaning, more than.

Simplicity doesn’t mean less stuff or less ideas or less thinking. Some things we’ll get into today. Any more than complexity means more thinking or more stuff. You know, for example, mathematically speaking, a sphere is more complex than a circle. Mathematically speaking, you know, we’re talking about different dimensions but we can have three circles in one sphere.

[0:04:04.1] In terms of complexity, the sphere is still more complex. It’s more complex to be a sphere than to be three circles, even though there’s more circles. So complexity isn’t about amassing things, it’s not about amount or volume but we’re going to talk a little bit about simplicity today and as we talk about simplicity, understand that it’s a movement.

It’s a story, it’s not advice. Again, coming back to the retreat and I’ll close with this on the retreat, it’s bringing you into a space where you can investigate more deeply who you are, rather than going through the motions of who you’ve been told to be and that’s why it’s transformation.

But I don’t tell you what to do, you see. I won’t even tell you to transform. How about that, brothers? I won’t even tell you to transform, I won’t even tell you to come to the retreat. I won’t even tell you to listen to this podcast, I won’t tell you to do anything. That’s not what I do, that’s not who I am, that’s not what any of this is.

And if you think that The Alpha Male Coach Podcast, if you think the academy, and if you think the retreats that I’m offering or anything that I offer you guys, any of the courses or anything is about advice or about helping you being better, better, again, no. I don’t tell you what to do, I couldn’t do that. I’m not a coach, I’m not a guide, I’m not a guru.

I just share a perspective with you guys. I share perspective and I know that that perspective will attract the people, you, the brothers, and sisters and there are women listening to this podcast as well, but I know that will attract the people that use the stories that I talk about. The stories, the analogies, the perspectives, to release the energy that is within you.

You are using it to release the energy that’s within you, to liberate yourself from the energy that may have gotten stuck in there and I’m not saying that that’s better because I’m not giving you advice. It’s all neutral. Stock energy, flowing energy. It’s duality. You can’t have stuck energy without having any flowing energy.

[0:06:19.8] We can’t have energy flowing without it potentially getting stuck because if all energy was always flowing and there were no such thing as stuck energy, then there would be no such thing as flowing energy. We wouldn’t know what it was like to flow. Suffering isn’t a thing, it’s a perspective of a thing, you understand, brothers?

The Buddhists said life is suffering, but suffering is not a thing. It’s a perspective of a thing. We only suffer because suffering has an opposite because we can see its perspective. Because we take a thing, which is neutral, which is whole, which is complete, and we look at it from a certain point of view and based on that point of view, duality enters the picture.

Because now, there’s another point of view, there’s another perspective. That’s what suffering is, we don’t suffer because there is no I to suffer. You know, suffering as a thing doesn’t exist because there is nothing that can ever experience that as a reality. You can experience that as a perspective, as an illusion.

But there must be an I that discerns between suffering and not suffering and that I, this distinction is the illusion. Without that “I” there’s only direct experience, there’s only oneness. There’s not separation between this or that. There’s this and that but in this “And that”, in the totality, they’re suffering and there’s not suffering and it’s the same with complexity and simplicity.

When we begin to talk about that, it’s the label. The label of suffering is not the experience, just like the map is not the terrain. We can’t understand the terrain without the map, right? Look at the map, we say, “Oh, that’s the terrain” but it’s the label, and the only reason that we bring the label in and we call it suffering is because we have compared it to what it is not.

[0:08:15.1] You see, we bring in the opposite and we say, “I want that.” So both the cause and the effect are the same, and that sameness is the “I.” The same “I” that resists what is, which means that it’s the cause, is also experiencing the suffering as the result. It’s causing it and it’s experiencing it.

It’s the cause and the experiencer. It is the giver and the receiver at the same time but only because of the label and I’m not saying that it’s bad. I’m not saying that you should change, I’m not saying that you won’t change. In fact, I’m saying that it’s impossible not to change, change is constant. You have to change, brother.

Trying to stop yourself from changing leads to suffering but suffering itself is change. You can’t not change because I’m not trying to help you. I can’t help you and be very cautious of anyone who says they can help you. Be very cautious of anybody who says, “Let me help” or even offers help.

“Because I can help, I have the answer” because that’s the monkey, that’s the monkey helping the fish. That’s the monkey saving the fish from drowning by pulling it out of the pond and taking it to the top of the tree.

That’s the help that is being offered because the help that’s being offered is from the monkey’s perspective. There’s no one that can help you because you are the fish. You’re surrounded by monkeys and what they want to do is they want to save you from drowning. They’ll save you from your destiny.

[0:10:01.4] But they don’t know that your destiny is what you must experience and so to save you from drowning, they pull you out of the pond, take you to the top of the tree and you’re in even more danger and more peril than you were in the pond. I’m not trying to help you brother and I’m not trying to tell you that you should or shouldn’t be ruminating or complex in your head or out of your head or in the future, in the past, or in the present.

I’m not telling you that being in your head is wrong or that you’d be a better person if you were in the present that you could be more healthy or more clear or anything or more of anything. It can’t be more, more is in contrast to less. In fact, I will tell you that the whole concept of better, the whole concept of being better as an idea, is a marketing ploy. It’s a marketing ploy, it’s a Ponzi scheme.

Yes, I said that I did. I said that. Do I fit in this space, brothers? Am I a coach? Am I a guide, am I a guru? Can I be a coach and say that coaching is a Ponzi scheme? Can I be a guide, someone who says to you, “Hey, l can help you.” Say, “What do you want? You want to lose 20 pounds, I can help you.” Say, “You want to find the girl of your dreams, the relationship of your dreams, I can help you.”

Say, “Hey, you want to start a business and start making money, I can help you” and maybe I could help you do these things as a part of the dream world, as part of the illusion, it would appear so. We could collaborate a manifestation and that could be true but if I were to ask you why, “Why do you want to lose weight? Why do you want to be stronger? Why do you want a relationship? Why do you want more wealth, more money, more cash flow?”

“Why do you want a business? Why do you want anything?” and then we get into the truth of it, we get into the depth of it. You can’t be better. I am not telling you what to do. I’m not telling you don’t start a business. I’m not telling you to not go to the gym and lift weights so you create resistance against the muscles, the levers of your body, and that resistance leads to an adaptation response, which of course, allows you to be able to lift more weights.

[0:12:37.8] It allows you strength. I’m not saying, “Don’t do that.” I’m saying, “Why?” I’m asking why, it’s a simple inquiry. Why get up at 4 AM? Why make a list of a hundred books and then begin reading them? I’ve seen that, I saw that recently, I got to tell you guys, I left Tulum recently.

I’m back in the States for a couple of weeks before I go back to Columbia, get back into Latin America and I sold my motorbike and I did that on Facebook marketplace and I hadn’t logged on to Facebook in years, I don’t know, years. But it’s wild going back into Facebook to sell some things on Facebook marketplace and I see the same old faces.

Same old, it’s exact – it’s like nothing has changed. Facebook is exactly the same as it was. The same people saying the same things. The same people posting the same things. Posting the same thing, saying the same things in their post. Years have passed, it’s wild, absolutely wild. Now, to know these people in person, I’d probably say they have changed.

Of course, I don’t know these people in person, I don’t follow. You guys know I’m nomadic so my community is not, you know, many of these people are living in multiple places in the world but yet, what they post on Facebook has not changed, the same things, the same content but what I found fascinating is all of these ways to improve yourself.

There’s all these advertisements and these advertisements are all directed at ways to be better. One of them was, you know, it even says, it’s so fascinating, it says, “Stop scrolling, and start reading. You know, read these books, you know, improve yourself.” But what does that mean to be better?

[0:14:21.5] So you’ve read more books, right? So a year has passed and you’ve read a hundred books, how are you better? Tell me how you’re better, tell me what that means. It doesn’t mean anything because there’s no I that can be better. There’s no level of accumulation that can make you into a concept that exists only in the realm of illusion.

It’s like it’s the arsonist starting the fire and putting it out the same time. You know, because the arsonist is the I, it starts the fire but telling “You’re not good enough” and then it puts it out by sending you through a bunch of things that the things will make you better but if it hadn’t started the fire in the first place, you know?

If you hadn’t had the story that you weren’t good enough in the first place, then there would be no need to be better. There’d be no need to put the fire out and that’s what I mean when I say it’s the cause and the effect. It’s not that there’s anything that actually exists that needs to be better.

The fire doesn’t exist. The arsonist wants it to exist, so it creates the fire but the arsonist itself doesn’t exist. The arsonist itself exists in order for the fire to be started and that might blow your mind. Think about that in the analogy, outside of the analogy if you can take it out of the analogy, and that’s what the analogies are for.

That’s what parables are for, to explain mysteries that cannot be explained. Understand that. The arsonist exists so the fire can be started. It’s like saying that the future exists for the past and we know that the past exists for the future, right? Like that’s how we understand time. We understand time by saying, “Yes, now is here because of yesterday” and we understand that very well.

[0:16:14.8] But according to quantum mechanics, according to quantum theory, the future exists because of the past. So in other words, the cause is not behind us, it’s in front of us. That I’m not creating this podcast so you can listen to it, you’re listening to it is the cause of my creating it, understand?

Like, mathematically, both things are true, and it’s wild. It’s wild conceptually but when you begin to understand conceptually then you begin to experience it existentially and when I say “It” what I mean is the hybrid, is the crossing over, it’s the oneness, where better and worse seize to exist. and yet, and yet both exist.

But not in truth because nothing is wrong, nothing is right, nothing will ever make you better. Look up at the stars, which are the good stars, which are the bad stars. Look at the sky, look at the night sky, which are the good stars, which are the bad stars? You know, we say the same of people, we say the same of ourselves, I say to look at people.

Look around at the people, which are the good people, which are the bad people? And maybe you say to the stars, “Oh, but I can’t tell.” The stars, you know, there are no good stars, there are no bad stars. I say, “Okay, look at the people.” I don’t know, while you may say, “Well, there are no good people, there are no bad people, how can I tell by looking at them?”

“I have to get to know them” Oh, you have to create a story about why they might be good or bad. We could do the same about stars or get to know these stars, right? I’m certain that there are astronomers all across the world that have created stories about stars and have made them good and bad.

[0:18:12.8] I’m certain of this but it’s mythology, it’s story, it’s not real. You know, they give personalities to stars, right? They give personalities to this star, to that star, maybe this star came from that or came from there, or they were part of this family or that family or they’re in a feud with this constellation, that constipation, right?

I’m certain that there are astronomers that do this, I have no direct knowledge of this but I’m making this up in my mind. I could see this happening because that’s exactly what we do with people. The difference is we think that our stories are real, right? Of course, the astronomers talking about the stars know that they’re just fantasies, right?

They’re just talking about stars and they’re making it all up, it’s all story, it’s fantasy. You know, we say, maybe we do with our pets. You know, we do this with our pets, we say that our pets maybe they have this first name, middle name, last name, or they come from this place or this planet, right? And they have this backstory.

If they were adopted pets, they have this backstory but we know it’s a fantasy. It’s not true, it’s a dog, it’s a cat, maybe it’s a couple of snakes or a group of turtles, I don’t know what kind of pets you’re into. Fish? But we know, it’s a story that comes up in our mind. We know it’s not true, we play with this idea but when it comes to people, “Well no, this is true.”

“This is a bad person because, you know, look at what they did.” “Look at what they did.” We give it a story, “Wow, look, it’s a bad dog, what the dog did, chew the furniture” or pooped in the house, right? Bad dog, right? He’s a bad dog but what?

So what? Forgive the dog, move on. A week later or a month later, you don’t even care. Maybe we do have a chewed furniture, we laugh about it. It’s a story to tell with people, “Oh” hanging onto it, right? Hang onto it, resent, and we hold. We blame, we judge and then we pull on those stories.

[0:20:06.1] What we do with ourselves too, that’s the thing, brothers, you can’t be better. Now look, like I say I’m not telling you what to do, I’m not telling you how to be, I’m not telling you what will improve you or make you better and you may be listening to me and saying, “Yeah but Kevin, you’re telling me that I can’t be better” and that’s true but I’m just sharing with you a perspective.

I’m not telling you that my perspective is the fact and I think this is the evolution of communication is to be able to communicate without, without the separation, without the I and the you, without my opinion your opinion, without “I know what’s best. I know what’s better.” Simply a story, a perspective that you can’t be better and what does that perspective mean to you when you listen to it, when you hear it, when I talk about this?

I can talk about it with you for hours, which is why I say come to the retreat, enroll in the academy come to the retreat because that’s my superpower, that’s my gift. I’m not a coach, I’m not guide, I don’t tell people what to do. I’m a storyteller, I’m a swami, I tell people of perspective, I’m a mystic, a philosopher.

We talk about mysteries, we talk about the things that we can never really understand. We talk about things that we get closer and closer to without ever touching like trying to touch the tip of your right index finger with the tip of your right index finger. It’s like it can’t be done, you know? You just get so close to it, it’s there.

It’s being done all the time and at the same time, you’re just piercing the veil. It’s already happening, you’re just not aware of it because the opposite is happening too because as we are in oneness, we are also not in oneness because the opposite must exists and so with our attachment to separation, with our attachment to duality, we experience unity at the same time but just not in perception.

[0:22:16.7] We perceive duality but we experience unity with duality and this is the agitation that the Christ talks about. You become amazed, you become agitated, and then you’d be free. Nothing is wrong, nothing is right, nothing will make you better, not waking up at 4 AM not going to the gym, these things will make you better.

Not drinking ayahuasca, it’s not going to make you better. Meditating is not going to make you better, you know? Quieting the mind, these things will not make you better. Nothing will make you better brother, because there is no you to be better. The you is the story and if you want to be better through the story then you just make the story better, you know?

That’s really what it is but you’re making the story worse and you’re doing that so that you can then make a game of it. You make the story worse by telling yourself you’re not enough so that you can make a game of being better. That’s what you made of life and that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with that.

But look at that and ask yourself, be conscious of this, see it happen. See the same you tell yourself, “You’re not good enough” in whatever way that is. Again, I know I’m using a very broad – I’m painting with very broad strokes here. Whatever story you tell yourself, “I’m not good enough because…” what? What is the hang-up and everybody has one.

There’s nobody who’s an exception to this rule, human rule of duality, what is it? Is it money that you need more money? You need more money because you don’t. I guarantee you though, if you’re listening to this podcast, you don’t. If you have the means to listen to this podcast, you don’t need more money.

[0:24:12.8] I don’t care. I don’t care what your story is, I really don’t. You can tell me any story you want, you don’t need more money and I know that’s wild to hear. You’re probably – I might be agitating you right now. I might be kicking you in the gut right now. It’s a kick in the balls, right? By telling you don’t and you’re maybe angry with me.

“Yes, I do. I do. I do need more. I need more, I deserve more, I want more, I expect more, demand more” and wanting is okay. It’s all okay, even demanding is okay. Desire, all of it is okay but what I’m saying brothers, if you take a step back, take a step out of this I that says need, “I need” whatever it is.

“I need money. I need a girlfriend. I need a better body, different habits.” It’s coming from lack. It’s coming from places as you’re not enough without. It’s okay, it’s okay to want it, it’s okay to lack. Feeling lack is okay. Telling yourself you’re not enough is okay. That’s okay, it’s all okay. Just look at it, look at it because by looking at it then you’ll understand the opposite.

Then you’ll understand why you’re doing all these things to be better not because you’re actually going to be better but because you’ve got this other thing telling yourself you’re not enough. You see, the solution doesn’t exist because there is no problem. The fire never has to be started.

It is started by the arsonist, which is the illusion. That’s the I. There is nothing that will make you better because there is no you to be better. There is no fire to put out because there is no arsonist to start the fire. Now, if there is an arsonist then you’ll start the fire and that’s what you’re doing and that’s okay too.

[0:26:18.8] But recognize that the thing that tells you, you need to be better, is the same thing that wants to improve. It is the identity, it is the illusion, it is the fabrication. That’s the thing, you, the you, the actual you for that entity, for that thing, which is the all, which is the one, there cannot be a better. There is no such thing as better. Better is the problem.

Now, I was going to get into talking about simplicity today, brothers, but we started talking about better. Like I said, maybe I was going to get into simplicity, maybe not, maybe we’ll wait until next week to get to simplicity because really what this ended up being was a download on a simple phrase, a simple statement made thousands of years ago.

And this wasn’t even the statement made because this is the English version translated from Latin, translated from Greek, translated from Aramaic but at least what we’ve come to understand in our English texts is the Kingdom of Heaven is within you and I will stand by that as my, shall I say, egoic purpose here.

To be a constant reminder of that for you and everyone who I bump into and I will take on the role, the persona, right? Persona which is Greek, right? Persona is a Greek word meaning mask, meaning role, meaning part that we play of mystic, of guide, of storyteller, a philosopher because your destiny is within you, and awakening, enlightenment, whenever you want to call it, is not in the future.

[0:28:25.5] It’s not out there after you’ve completed some task, acquired some skill, or received some knowledge. Enlightenment is here. It’s here, it’s now. It is the releasing of the idea, of better, and even as I say that it means nothing to be enlightened. It means nothing to be present. It doesn’t make you better.

You are no better of a human to be here and now than you are to be often the future or the past in your head, in your mind ruminating in complexity. Complexity is no worse than simplicity. Simplicity is no better than complexity. These are states of beings or ways of experiencing. These are different frequencies of a sound that never ends and never began.

So to be better is a question I would ask you to ask yourself, what does that mean? What does it mean? Who, what is better? How, when, where can you ever be better? Define this not from a position of the I but position of watching the I. Not from the position of the arsonist but from a position of watching the arsonist because we know why the arsonist wants to start the fire.

We know why the arsonist wants to be better. You see, the arsonist wants to start the fire because the arsonist wants to put it out. Maybe the analogy is the firefighter, right? The firefighter and the arsonist are the same person but that’s just it, we know why you’re telling yourself to be better because you’re telling yourself you’re not good enough.

[0:31:09.3] Now, here’s the thing, you think you tell yourself you’re not good enough is the truth, is a fact. You give yourself a lot of reasons for why that is but it’s not. It’s a story, just like the story that people make up about their pets, just like the story that we make up about other people, just like the story the astronomers make up about stars.

It’s all mythology, it’s all storytelling, you know? You’re not a good star or a bad star, you’re just a star, a perfect beautiful star. You’re doing star things. No star could ever be better or worse than what it is or each other are, if we want to get into a little comparison thing, but we could compare certainly, we could compare the stars the same way.

We could say, “Oh, this star is better because it’s closer to earth. This star is better because it sends out more neutrinos. This star is better because it’s bigger, brighter. This star is better because it is a part of a constellation. This star is better because it is in our Milky Way galaxy.” You can give all kinds of different reasons to why stars are better but they’re all just erroneous as the genetics, which is the same as what we do with human beings and ourselves.

You see, because it’s the perspective itself that is erroneous. The perspective itself is a sliver of truth, it’s not the totality. So, brothers, I will talk to you about simplicity another time. I know simplicity is a big one for you guys and we want to get into simplicity and what is the difference between simplicity and minimalism.

[0:33:11.5] What is the difference between internal simplicity versus external expression of simplicity, you know, the not having of many things. I have a lot of people in my life talk to me about this. They say this to me and they seem to have this idea that because I – because everything I sent to own and I know that’s a funny thing to say.

I don’t even believe in ownership generally but specifically, everything that “I own” fits into three small backpacks. People say, “Oh, you live very simply.” I find that very fascinating because simplicity is an internal thing. You can have few things and still live with internal complexity and vice-versa, you can have internal simplicity and still be in possession of many things.

So we will get into that in another week brothers, really today was more of a channeling. It was more of a download and I was really downloading with you guys on the idea of being better, the idea of having other people tell you what to do, and even in many ways, preaching the concept of telling yourself what to do.

Being better is not a thing, waking up at 4 AM is not going to make you better, make you a better person. I know and I say that a lot, right? The morning thing, wake up at 4 AM going to the gym, these things, these things that almost all of humanity seems to be talking about in some sort of way of personal development.

What is a personal development, what is that? It’s egoic masturbation. You know it may sound appalling coming from the Alpha Male Coach. “How dare you call yourself an alpha male and say that personal development is egoic masturbation?” Yes, I do because there’s nothing to develop. Certainly, you can develop your ego but why?

[0:35:07.1]: What are you developing? You’re developing a story, there’s nothing there. It’s a fantasy, it’s the idea, my friends, and that’s easy. Just write a better story and that’s what I’m doing, right? It’s kind of the story, it’s what we work with. There is no self to be better. There is a story that you can improve. That’s really all you’re doing is improving the story.

See, because you can wake up at 4 AM and still tell yourself a story that you’re not good enough, in which case, I need to be better. Wow, it’s [inaudible 0:35:37.0] else then or you could just keep waking up at whatever time you do wake up and stop telling yourself you’re not good enough, in which case, you’ve just bettered yourself.

You bettered yourself by eliminating the deprecation. See brothers, your inner world is where you will find yourself. I cannot tell you what to do, no one can tell you what to do. It is within you and it is not the I that is within you. The I is the not you trying to condition you. I’m not saying live without ego, I’m saying understand ego, watch ego, work with ego, play with ego.

Enjoy your ego. Yes, enjoy your ego the way you enjoy a pet. I talked about the astronomers with their planets. They’ve made planets and stars and they’ve made them into pets and you have pets. Maybe you have a pet, maybe you have a fish, maybe you have a bird or a dog or a cat. Yeah, play with your ego the way you play with your pet.

It’s not who you are. Your ego is not who you are any more than the story you tell yourself about who their pet is, it is who your pet is. Your pet is who the pet is. You have a story about your pet and you relate to your pet through that story. You will relate to your pet through who your pet is, you relate to your pet through that story.

[0:36:55.1] Now, your pet being what your pet is, your pet relates back to you through that story because, well, that’s a whole other podcast episode but the point is, is that it’s a story. So write a better story. You could write a story about your pet that this is a horrible awful pet. What happens with that relationship, right?

Do the same thing with yourself. You see, so it’s not the I, it’s not the story. It’s the recognition of the story. It’s the recognition of the story as both the cause and the effect, as both the problem and the solution, as both the “I’m not enough” and the “Here’s what I do to improve” and that that is all a part of the complexity and next week, we’ll talk about simplicity.

That’s what I have for you today, brothers. Until next week, elevate your alpha.


[0:37:50.2] ANNOUNCER: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Alpha Male Coach Podcast. If you enjoyed what you’ve heard and want even more, sign up for Unleash your Alpha: Your Guide to Shifting to the Alpha Mindset, at the alphamalecoach.com/unleash.



Scroll to Top