These episodes have been getting a little wild recently and this one is no different! I know that many of you, brothers, want practical and actionable advice and strategies for how to apply these teachings. With that said, we are going to be diving into the subject of ownership today, and to kick this off I want to present you with the idea of the process, that every moment you are living your purpose. We all have to suffer to grow and evolve, and as soon as we accept that journey and embody that self-knowledge, we can get away from victimhood!

There is a lot of confusion about ownership and to gain some clarity, we need to get away from our dependence on outcomes. We do not own anything, ever! Owning and possessing relies on the idea of separation, which we know is false, brothers. You are everything, and the idea that you own things that are separate from you is the biggest illusion. It is better to understand what we use and hold as ‘on loan’, because nothing is truly ours, and it cannot be.

As I have said before, our true selves have no beginning or end; when we start to understand that and get to the real nature of things, we can know ourselves and the universe. There are three expressions I want to share today that can be helpful in this regard. The first is that everything is one and that we cannot disconnect from the world around us. The second is to consider the breath; the simple act of breathing is the most profound lesson about the nature of the universe and eternal life. The third and last is a message to simply love because through the power of love we can achieve any goal and unlock more power than we can imagine!

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What Youll Learn from This Episode:

  • The gift we all receive.
  • Setting impossible goals that are meaningful to you.
  • The truth about ownership!
  • Three helpful expressions to help access the immutable.
  • Honoring over owning; exercising patience and knowledge.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

  • Enroll for the Elevated Alpha Society Spartan Academy here.
  • Sign up for Unleash Your Alpha, your guide to shifting to the Alpha mindset.


ANNOUNCER: Welcome to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast, the only podcast that teaches men the cognitive mastery and alpha mindset that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence. Here’s your host, certified life coach and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud.


[0:00:33.0] KA: What’s up, my brothers? Welcome back to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. I am your host, Kevin Aillaud. Now, as you know, I have been in Panama for about six weeks. Next week, I’ll be heading back to the US for Christmas and New Year’s, then down to Peru for a month.

Now, I’m going to tell you guys this in advance, I want you to know this and I know it’s early, I’m going to remind you about this but during the time in Peru, I will be in the Amazon jungle and completely cut off from everything we consider to be modern civilization. There will be limited electricity powered by a generator for about an hour a day and I will have access to clean water. However, I won’t have access to WiFi, washing machines, a kitchen or any type of overhead lighting.

I will be living in the jungle, brothers, for four weeks. Like I said, I mention this to you because I want you to know that the podcast will be prerecorded and the academy will function as normal while I am out. The webinars will be taught in the academy by students in the certification course and the group coaching calls will also be led by students in the certification course.

All of these will happen in January and if you’re planning on enrolling in the academy, I would offer that you do that before I go into the jungle so I can get you started and on track before I depart. Now, I will of course remind all of you about this as I said, more as time approaches and I will return in February. However, when I return, I will commence with an overhaul of the academy curriculum and I’ve mentioned that in the past. I’m going to talk more about that in 2022.

[0:02:04.9] Okay, let’s continue the impossible goal month with some work on ownership. This episode, just like last week, I know last week got a little wild, brothers. This episode might get a little wild as well and while I know that some of you really liked to walk on the wild side with me, others of you are looking for more practical advice and application of these concepts.

No matter what I say on this podcast, I will continue to offer and invite all of you to enroll in the academy with a training, the process and the methodology of all these concepts are taught, explained and assisted in your search for inner truth, enlightenment, your alpha state and so on.

Here’s the rundown my friends, I’m a teacher, I’m a guide and I’m a healer. It is the apex of my journey as I had to go through a lot of things, a lot of events, a lot of circumstances in my life to get to this point. I had to be ignorant in order to learn and be taught in order to teach. I had to be blind in order to see and have a guide in order to become a guide. I had to be hurt in order to heal and healed in order to heal others. During the time in my life that I was ignorant, blind and hurting. I was still living my purpose. It’s all our purpose, every moment of our living day is our purpose.

At the time, going through with all of that, I didn’t know it was my purpose and I was suffering. I had to suffer in order to grow, in order to evolve, in order to heal. It is by going through the darkness that we find the light but at the time, I was ignorant and I blamed others. I was blind and I complained about everything.

I was hurting. I thought of myself as a victim. Brothers, what I’m going to tell you is that it was all a gift, it was a gift and what a beautiful, perfect gift it was with the wisdom of hindsight, I have come to understand the power of foresight. We are all here to fulfill a life contract, a contract we made upon entering this realm of form, through the differentiation of our mind, body and spirt.

[0:04:06.3] The moment we enter this realm, we become afraid of the illusion of separation and we spend the rest of our lives either in the suffering of conditioning to being asleep, living in the fear or the seeking of enlightenment through alignment.

Woe have those who don’t seek their true nature for they are lost in the sea of madness and chaos, a nightmare that they never wake up from. The gift that we had been given is the gift of self-knowledge. Now, as I said, I am involved in my journey, it never ends. None of our journeys ever end.

It is here that I pass on to others what I have learned so that others may take it, apply it and then pass it on to others once again. This is the contribution. This is the gift that I give back to the world and I give it back to you. My podcast audience broadly and to all my students in the academy and the certification course, more specifically.

I want to get into something that bears weight during the month of December when we aim at setting an impossible goal for 2022 and 2023 and 2024 and so on. What I want to introduce today is this concept of ownership. The reason is to clear up any misconception around the impossible goal relating to outcome dependence.

[0:05:24.2] Brothers, most of the time, new students and veteran students alike will create an impossible goal around money, whether that’s increasing net worth, doubling the income or creating a certain amount in a year. I will tell you that I have done this myself in past years and it had been successful both in destination and in journey. The goal can also be related to women. Many students will relate their goal to women, having more sex, dating multiple women at the same time, finding the woman of their dreams or something of that nature.

Now, before I begin this concept of ownership, I want to first and foremost say that there is nothing wrong with any of these goals, there’s nothing wrong with any goal, there’s nothing wrong with any result or outcome you aim to achieve in your life. I do not choose goals for my students and I don’t judge the goals my students choose for themselves.

Even this year, going into 2022, I know there will be students that aim at increasing their wealth or improving their relationships. Whatever that means to them, I know, as a guide, that any goal is a perfect goal in that what matters is not the outcome. It’s not the destination that is important for the student, it is always the journey that they go through in the mastery of their cognition, the learning of how to own their emotions and the discovery of their true self.

[0:06:38.1] As a guide, as a teacher, as a healer, what I focus on with tools like the impossible goal is, what occurs over the course of the journey. Getting from point A to point B is what matters, not what happens at point B. The truth is, whatever happens at point B is never what you think will happen at point B, because your mind seeks not the result, your mind seeks the way it thinks the result will make you feel, which is always a form of healing, it’s always a form of growth and evolution in realizing that feelings are as transient as the results themselves.

That comes from the journey itself, not the destination. It doesn’t come from arriving at point B. All goals are perfect goals, the reason for this podcast episode is to reveal an inherent yet easily forgotten truth. Here it is brothers. Put very succinctly, we don’t own anything ever.

Nothing ever belongs to an individual, everything is transient, money, relationships, occupations, emotions and identities. They are all transient, none of them ever belong to us. I know brother that that is a bold statement and maybe one that goes beyond the scope of this podcast.

I am not going to go too deep into this concept because that is reserved for the students in the academy that if a deeper understanding of what it is I’m talking about, it’s very esoteric. I know I sound like a freak to all of you who aren’t ready to have this truth revealed to you.

[0:08:05.9] I know that many of you will argue that you own the money in your bank or the house that you live in, or even the job or the title that you have. Look, you can’t own anything because you are everything, brother. You don’t own what is already you, you can’t possess something that isn’t separate from you. Owning and possessing requires separation, it requires that there is a “You” that it has ownership of the thing. 

Ownership requires there to be an owner and an owned. Now, stay with me here brothers, because I know this is going to get wild but there are three expressions that I’m going to offer you that will all relate back to the impossible goal and how your journey is more valuable. I would even say more real than the outcome of the goal itself.

First, let me see if I can dispel this illusion in short form. I’m going to give you some information, just some general information. I’m going to start with money, you don’t own any money. Money itself is an illusion. Paper and digital currency is actually a promissory note, it’s no different than an IOU note.

You know what an IOU is, right? Like, I owe you this. Imagine this, let’s play this out, imagine that you’re opening your car door and you hit the door of the car next to you. There’s no one around and you don’t want to just leave this huge dent in the other person’s car so you pull out a piece of paper that you happen to have in your glove box and you write an IOU note on it saying, “I hate your car, I left a scratch, I left this dent, here’s my email address. Please reach out to me so I can pay you for any liable you incur in getting your door fixed.”

[0:09:34.8] Then you tuck that piece of paper, that little note under the windshield wiper of the car and you drive off. Now, brother, that note that you left under the windshield wiper is exactly the same as leaving a hundred-dollar bill. Exactly the same. You left a promise to pay note and that is what money is, that’s all money is.

It is the government leaving you a promise to pay note. Formerly, that promise to pay was in the form of a precious metal. You’re saying like, we’re going to give you this piece of paper that represents precious metal it was the gold standard. This little piece of paper, this dollar bill was signifying a promise to pay you in gold.

However, in 1971, the US got rid of the gold standard and now the promise to pay is purely in good faith. There is no gold standard, you aren’t going to get any gold from the government if you turn in your dollars. All you’re going to get from government is good faith. I won’t go any deeper into the concept of currency. If you’re really interested, you can look it up on the world wide web. I mean, there’s plenty of stuff out there in the internets.

My point is that money is an illusion that is backed by the good faith of the government and the supply and demand system. You don’t own any money, you own a piece of good faith of the government, whatever that means, right? Who knows what that is? Yet you say, “Okay coach, I have this Fiat currency thing, I can understand what you’re saying, I recognize the gold standard, I recognize the Fiat currency but money still has value in the world.”

[0:10:58.0] “Look at all these I have in my bank or in my wallet or on my credit. I own this money, it is in an account with my name on it, see? I can show you, I have proof, it’s a circumstance here.” I get that, brother. I get that, you can say the same thing about the deed to your house, no?

You have the deed to the home that you live in, assuming it is still being paid down on a mortgage in which case, you don’t even own the deed, the bank does. You think you own that money and you think you own that house, that piece of land or pile of wood and bricks, you’re still mistaken my friend.

You see, you don’t actually own it, it’s just on loan to you, the house, the car, the money, it’s all temporary, existing in this moment for you and there it is. That’s the point, that’s what I want you to understand here. It’s all on loan to you in this moment. You don’t own it, it’s here for you now, here in this moment, in this present time. Tomorrow it may be all gone.

Tomorrow, the house could get burned down or washed away in a flood. Tomorrow, the car could be crushed by a piano falling form the sky. Tomorrow, your money could disappear or become simple paper and metal like it has happened to so many people in so many countries whose inflation went so high that it collapsed the value of their currency.

[0:12:08.9] We don’t know what will happen to tomorrow so today, consider it a loan, a transient entity that might get called in to be repaid tomorrow. What about relationships? Do you think you have a girlfriend? You think you have a wife? I always find it fascinating to listen to the words that humans use, I love listening to people. I mean, it’s what I do as a coach, as a guide, I listen.

I love listening to the brain, I love listening to the mind to talk about ownership. Like I say, after I’m a listener, I use my ears to engage with people, I hear every word people say and every sound that comes from the movement of a being. The brain is an interesting thing brother, the language we u se to communicate reveals a lot about the way we think and the meaning we make of the world.

It’s so fascinating to hear people introduce another human as my wife or if I’m talking to a woman and some guy walks over to me and says that she is his girlfriend. It’s a strange thing to think you own another human and when we use this language, there is certainly a cognition around ownership, no?

Think about the language that we use, this is my money, my car, my house, my girlfriend, my clothes, my shoes, my computer, my dog, my food and so on. Even the body, brother, think about the body. This is my body. There is certainly a sense of ownership with the body since we come into the world with it.

[0:13:27.1] It’s the vehicle that we know, the vehicle that we have from the beginning of our existence as a human to the end of our existence as a human, it’s not the beginning of our true self or the end of our true self, because brothers, our true self has no beginning nor any end. However, we leave the world without our body. 

The body is like the clothes we wear. It’s not your body my friend, it’s on loan to you as the clothes you wear during this human experience. Again bro, I know it’s esoteric, right? But it’s the truth. To see the truth, to understand the nature of who you are is to begin to let go of this idea of ownership. So, what coach? Why bring this up now, right? What’s the point of all these, why put out a podcast on ownership? Like I said brother, this all has to do with the impossible goal. This is about you recognizing truth rather than living an illusion.

As I said, I’m going to offer you a couple of expressions for knowing that this is an immutable truth. First, everything is one, there is no separation between you and I. I’m going to do an entire podcast on this. I’m going to go way deep into this. I call it the dream of life. I’ve done the puzzle of life, I’ve done the game of life, I’m going to do the dream of life.

I want you to know that there is no separation between you and I, there is an apparent separation. There is an apparent separation between your body and my body. Between that thing and this thing. When we aim to have something our mind tells us we don’t have, we are chasing shadows and illusions. 

[0:14:54.3] This is the essence of scarcity and suffering. When we start seeking something outside of ourselves, we are acting in folly, we are acting as ignorant fools. I’m not being harsh or judging anybody or anything for having these ideas brother, I’m simply speaking this immutable truth. There is nothing that we need that doesn’t come from within us and is existing all around us in all moments. 

We come into this world from a place of perfect oneness and quickly forget our nature as we are plunged into an existence of a false image, the illusion of being separated from the source and the all. It is our limiting beliefs that mask the true nature of who we are. At the root of these beliefs is the dream or illusion of separation. It is the illusion of being asleep. It is the unconsciousness that most human beings are living in, from which I call you to wake up from. 

To awaken from this dream seems to me to be the ultimate goal of human life on this planet. The purpose of my work at the academy and the reason behind the impossible goal. Second, consider the breath, we inhale and we exhale and this is the nature of the breath, the giver of life. It is the cycle of life, receiving and giving. It is the duality that exists in all forms. In the truth of oneness we are never without life. 

In the illusion of duality, we are always in motion of breathing. There must be the cycle, there must be the passing of an exchange of energy and life. Life itself has its duality. There will always be polarity in life. This is the essence of the human experience. In this human experience, we are here to master polarity. The truth, the eternal and infinite truth is oneness, in this experience, on this planet, in this world, in this universe, we are here to master polarity. 

[0:16:51.3] We are here to master duality because life itself has its duality, which is death. However, death is symbolic only as we are never without true life, spiritual life. We simply remove the clothes of the flesh so we inhale and exhale, we receive and we give, we circulate. We never own the air in our lungs, do we? Does anyone ever breathe in and say they own the air in their lungs? 

Do you think you own the air in your lungs when you inhale and if so, what happens when you exhale? Do you still own it? Did you choose to give it away? Are you even conscious of your breathing brother? This is where I have questioned even the consciousness of all of this, are you conscious of your receiving of air and your giving of air? Are you conscious of your owning of the air in your lungs? 

Brother, money is the same. Yours today, mine tomorrow. Mine today, yours tomorrow. Your money is my money and my money is your money. This is the same as the air in the world. I breathe it and have it on loan for a moment and then I send it back out. I don’t ever own the air, it is transient. I just use it for a moment and send it back out. To own money is to say I own the air in my lungs. 

To want more money is to say I want more air in my lungs. To compare the money you have to the money others have is to compare the air in your lungs to the air in their lungs. Now brother, this is at best silly and it’s more closely related to the connotation of insanity. We go through life doing this in comparison with each other all the time. We do this in relationships as well. I can’t tell you how many men I have guided through breakups and divorces. 

[0:18:28.4] There is such a cognition of loss due to the nature of the belief around ownership, when we believe we own someone or have built up limiting beliefs around abandonment and rejection. There will always be pain when relationships come to a completion, when the transient nature of two beings being together begins to slide away, begins to diverge from each other. The pain is caused by the cognition. 

The pain is caused by the limiting beliefs around abandonment and rejection or the cognition of ownership. “She is mine.” Again, I find this to be an interesting facet of the human experience. We complete things all the time, we complete books, we complete movies, we complete sporting events, we complete meals and yet rarely, if ever, do we feel the pain of loss when these things are over. 

However, when it comes to the completion of a relationship, there is always this sense of loss, this sense of pain, this sense of suffering. The truth is we don’t suffer due to the completion of the relationship, we suffer due to what we make it mean and all the stories we have attached to the relationship itself. When we look at the impossible goal, consider what you make it mean to be in a relationship. 

Do you make it mean that you are somehow more worthy if you are partnered up? Do you make it mean there is something wrong with you if you are living a single lifestyle? Brothers, relationships will come in and out of our lives. This is the breath of life, the cycle of living. Money will come and go, relationships will come and go, jobs will come and go, emotions will come and go, identities will come and go, stories will come and go, everything comes and goes. 

[0:19:56.7] That is the nature of the polarity. That is another one, the occupations. You know what? I just had a friend of mine lose his job, right? He said he lost his job, he was a W2 employee. He’s an employee, right? He wasn’t self-employed, he wasn’t a contractor, he was paid by a company, he is working for a company. He was a CFO actually, so he was an officer of this company and he was let go for some reason I’m not going to get into in this podcast.

The reason doesn’t matter other to say that it was due to no fault of his own, right? He did not choose and he didn’t make any major mistakes. My friend lost his job, which I actually find fascinating because this was one of the people that would tell me that I had to get a job while working on my business for job security so I find that a little fascinating. It’s a little ironic, right? Here I am, working on building my business. 

This was one of the guys that said, “You know what? While you’re building your business, why don’t you get another job for job security?” It’s wild, right? Here is the guy that I’m doing incredibly well and he just lost his job but I digress. My friends, there is no such thing as job security. The job you have is not yours, you can lose it at any moment. It is on loan to you just like the breath, you have it today, you may not have it tomorrow. 

It is transient, it’s like emotions. Emotions are transient, you feel them today, you won’t feel them tomorrow and you might feel them tomorrow if they are indulgent emotions but that’s a whole other topic. Everything comes and goes. If anything is true, you’re job security is in your personal talents, not in a company paying your salary. Ironically, like I said, my friend who lost his job and had clients calling him when they heard the news asking if they could work with him directly. 

[0:21:24.6] Therefore, being self-employed is more secure than being an employee these days. However, nothing is 100% certain all of the time. Brothers, we only experience the now. The right now, the present, the moment as it passes. That woman is not yours, that money is not yours, that job is not yours, that air in your lungs is not yours, it’s all temporary. The air we breathe is always available, always in the moment. 

Let me ask you something, how often does your mind create anxiety around your next breathe? Do you ever fear not being able to take another breathe? Do you fear what comes next if you have the air available to you for your next breathe? Of course not, of course your brain doesn’t start to panic around whether you’re going to be able to take another breath and because we don’t panic around the next breath, we don’t panic around the next moment knowing that the air is always there. 

Why do we fear not having enough money tomorrow? Why do we fear not having another woman walk into our lives tomorrow? Why do we fear anything tomorrow when you are living only today, right here, right now? This is the beginning of waking up, you are existing right here and now not yesterday and not tomorrow. You have plenty of air to breathe, money to create, relationships to build and experiences to have. 

Okay, so the first expression confirming that we don’t owe anything is everything is one. The second is that we receive and give to the duality, to the polarity of living like the cycle of breathing. The third is simply love. Brothers, whoever knows the truth is free and a free human does not live an illusion. This is an impossible outcome. Free men do not folly with illusion because one who lives in illusion is a slave to the illusion. 

[0:23:09.9] When you do not allow yourself to live an illusion, you will be free. Free from ownership and free from the suffering caused by the illusion of ownership. The separation between the owner and the owned. It is knowledge of the self that will set you free from your illusions and that knowledge of yourself is to be here and now rather than in the mind of the future. 

However, I will add this that those of us who are free through the knowledge of the self are still slaves due to the love we have for those who do not yet have the knowledge of the self that sets them free. Only self-knowledge will set you free and this is the meaning of enlightenment or to be of pure life, which is your nature. Your nature is one of oneness of the totality of awareness. It is love that reveals the fallacy of ownership. 

Love never says it owns something, though it owns everything as it is its own image and likeness. Love doesn’t say, “This is mine or that is mine” but rather, all that is mine is yours for we are not two but one. We come back to the impossible goal and the practical application of this knowledge. Brothers, the practical application of all of this is that we don’t own anything. However, we are given the wisdom and choice of how to think and what to do with what we experience in the now. 

The outcome of wealth, relationships, occupations or whatever goal you want to set for your 2022 impossible goal is a point in time that is external. In all truth according to the evidence I laid out for you on this podcast, complete and total illusions, we don’t want the result. We only want the way we think the result is going to make us feel and how do we want to feel? We want to feel safe, secure, free.

[0:25:07.7] We want to feel loved, important, worthy. We want to feel complete, enlightened and at peace. This is what I offer you in your journey of healing, on your journey of self-discovery and self-knowledge. These are elements of truth that you have available to you all the time, in every moment. There is nothing outside of you that will bring these to you. They are within you and all around you. 

Only through a radical shift in your mind by letting go of all the limiting beliefs you’ve been carrying with you from a lifetime of conditioning will allow the inner truth to emanate from your alpha state. This is the path of the impossible goal and what we do in the academy every day through guidance in our personal work. Brothers, one of my very first teacher said, “Fear is the path of the dark side.” 

Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. Ownership is rooted in fear. We are afraid of not having, of not being able to experience, of what others might think or of how we compare ourselves to others and so on. Ironically, that same teacher I just quoted also said, “Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.” One of the most important lessons in the impossible goal is about letting go. 

It is about letting go of your limiting beliefs. It is about letting go of who you are not. Whenever we engage in a goal, the point is never the goal itself. The point is the journey we take to obtaining the goal and who we become in the process of living the life we’re meant to live. It is the letting go of the conditioning around what is impossible for you. Letting go of the external desires around sex, dominance, status, control, materialism and utilitarianism, which makes us perceive everything as a commodity to own rather than honor and that is the source of it, my brothers. 

[0:27:00.9] From your alpha state, we don’t own anything yet, we honor everything. We honor others because they are a reflection of who we are. Our enemies are our greatest teachers and our friends are our deepest selves. We honor money because its abundance allows for all to thrive in a beautiful perfect creation. We honor our purpose because of what we contribute to the all in an expression of our own unique creation. 

We honor everything because everything is us, I am you and you are me. We are one. Diving into impossible goal work is for the serious man. If you want to get rich quick or get laid tonight or lose a 100 pounds in a month then this isn’t for you. In fact, I will say that the academy isn’t for you. That is the path of the dark side and there are plenty of teachers for that path. The dark side is quicker, easier, more seductive. 

However, that is not what I teach. I teach patience and knowledge. Let go of your fear and you will see the light within you and it is amazing, my brother. The academy is for the serious man who is seeking his true self, his alpha state and is ready to let go of all the conditioning, of the identity and fear that is currently driving his universal truth and creating all of his results. Enroll now in and begin with the impossible goal this month. 

You still have time, I know we’re mid-month here but you have plenty of time to begin this work. I will remind you early that the curriculum in the academy is preparing an alteration where the process will start with a program to stop buffering and the podcast for next week will begin to introduce this topic. Once again, from another perspective, brothers to begin your journey, we must start with you meeting yourself and that can only happen when you stop avoiding yourself, which is done through the action of buffering. 

Until next week my friend, elevate your alpha. 


[0:29:01.1] ANNOUNCER: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Alpha Male Coach Podcast. If you enjoyed what you’ve heard and want even more, sign up for Unleash your Alpha: Your guide to shifting to the alpha mindset, at the