Ep#110 The Alpha State: Unconditional Love

EPISODE 110

[INTRODUCTION]

[00:00:09] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Alpha Male Coach Podcast, the only podcast that teaches men the cognitive mastery and alpha mindset that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence. Here’s your host, certified life coach and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud.

[EPISODE]

[00:00:32] KA: What’s up my brothers? Welcome back to the Alpha Male Coach Podcast. I am your host, Kevin Aillaud, and we’re going to talk today about unconditional love. Last week, talking about the alpha state, indomitable self-confidence, and here’s the thing is like I’ve talked about the alpha state many times. It’s always been in the form of results. It’s always been in the form of demonstration. It’s always been in the form of what is the capability, what is the action, the behavior. What is the alpha male? What does it look like and what are the results? What does it feel like? How is it manifested? What are the ideas, the concepts of the world?

But when you’re in it, when you’re functioning through it, when you’re with it, there is definitely a feeling of movement towards the best version of yourself. I’ve had this paradox discussion with students, with student candidates on consultation calls, and it kind of goes like this because a lot of the consultation calls come from you, come from my audience who have heard the podcast. You’ve heard some of the concepts, universal truth. The paradox is if everything is neutral, if we’ve got – If we’re separating facts, if we’re separating the raw data of circumstance, if we’re separating that from our thoughts, and it’s only our thoughts that are subjective. It’s only our thoughts that are good, bad. It’s only our thoughts to make things right or wrong. It’s only are thoughts that are positive, negative and so on, this duality. Then what does it mean to be or even to seek the best version of yourself? What is that?

Because if there is no best, there is not best. There is not worst. There’s no better. There’s no worse. So what is this? It goes back to the alpha state. It comes through the alpha state because the alpha state is pure goodness, and it is pure neutrality. It is neutral and goodness, and that is not an oxymoron. That is not one of those things. That’s not one of those things that others – The two things that can’t exist at the same time because understand that the alpha state comes from the perfection of reality. It comes from the perfection of creation that is created and of creation. So because the alpha state is a part of that, it is total goodness. You see, goodness and badness are not opposites. We tend to think of them as opposites like good, bad, but there’s just the totality.

Perfection is the same way. People think about perfection, and they think about it being flawless. But that’s not true because in order for perfection to exist, there must be flawless and flawed, right? There must be both because in order to be perfect, there must be the all inclusivity, and that includes both things that are flawless and both things that are flawed. Both of those are subjective anyway. Because what one person would say is flawed, another person may say is flawless. So they may see the same thing and not think that that is a flaw. Even if there is definition around what is a flaw, there still may be two people who are looking at the exact same thing and not see the exact same thing. In perfection, there’s both the flawed and the flawless, but even those are both to be subjective.

So when you think of the best version of yourself, really what I’m talking about, what we’re thinking about we’re moving towards in this alpha state what your alpha state is. You as an alpha male, what that best version is is that is your true self. That is who you fully are. It is more of yourself. You may have heard me say that. It’s not when I say you’re the best version of yourself, but I will also say more of who you are or becoming more of who you fully are, becoming more of your full self.

Now, that is that alpha state, and we feel that. We feel that tug, we feel that pull towards that, and we feel that through indomitable self-confidence for us and unconditional love for the others. Unconditional love for our self kind of is indomitable self-confidence. It begins there because in indomitable self-confidence, there’s the three pillars. You go back to last week to hear what those three pillars are, but recognize that the three pillars of indomitable self-confidence for ourselves is essentially the same thing as unconditional love for other people because we recognize in other people what we know to be true of ourselves, which is the law of mind and belief, the law of cause and effect, which is the universal truth and how we align ourselves with the universal truth through the model of alignment.

Now, understand what unconditional love is. I’ve done a podcast on unconditional before and I’ve done it in a way where I talked about it specifically for you. You do it for you, and I’m actually going to open there because what I want you guys to know is that loving someone no matter what they say, no matter what they do, and no matter what conditions, there is no condition, right? A lot of times, we have this condition for love like I’m going to love you as long as this, as long as you do this, or as long as you say this. Unconditional love is loving someone no matter what they say or do because they are not what they say, because they are not what they do. Human beings are not the demonstrations through which their body creates manifestations.

Understand that when we move things or we move our body, when we move sound through our vocal cords, when we move objects through our muscles and our bodies, the cellular organism we call the body, we do this. But that is not who we are. That is operating through machine. That is operating through emotion. That is operating through cognition. Who we are in that alpha state is the chooser, right? The observer, the chooser, the oneness with our true self, the oneness with what we really are, which is the love, which is the indomitable self-confidence.

So when we love someone, no matter what they say and what they do, what we’re really saying is we’re not loving that with which we see, right? The demonstration and form, the demonstration and matter. What we’re saying is we love you because we know that what you are, that being within you that guides this machine, that guides this cellular meat bag here is the same as me, right? That same humanness, that same source of light, that same source of love, that same source of innocence and creation from within is the same as myself, exactly same. It’s that slice of power, that slice of gift. So we know that. That’s what unconditional love is. I love you no matter what because there is nothing that you can say or do or think or act or behave or anything. There’s none of that. There’s no demonstration you can make that’s going to separate you from what you really are, from who you really are, and I see that within you. I know that within you.

Okay, so that’s really what unconditional love is, but here are some things about that. Here are some truths about that and some tools that can help you find that because, number one, love feels good. I’m going to say that like straight out loud. Look, love is an emotion that feels amazing. We want to feel amazing. Our human experience is an emotional experience. We want to feel amazing. That’s why false pleasures, that’s why buffering is so common, is so commonplace because that’s we want. We want to feel good. That’s what our brain wants. Our brain wants to feel good. It gravitates towards things that feel good. It reminds us to keep doing them over and over. Love is one of those things. That’s why people get addicted to love or at least they get addicted to the way love feels, whether that’s coming from their thoughts, and it usually is from some desire allusion. But it feels good. It feels amazing. So does freedom. So does confidence. So does happiness. So does joy. Love, the truest love, not love of attachment, not lust. I’m talking about the truest love feels amazing.

Again, not the false pleasure of the dopamine. I’m talking about the true nature and emotion of love. Love is always an option. It’s always an option. Again, I’m not talking about lust and attachment and possessiveness and that. I’m talking about love as an option all the time. I love you no matter what. Let’s reset this. Let’s go back. Stop right there. I love you. This is who you are. This is not what – You’re not saying this out loud to a person where you’re just kind of like, “I’m in this place of this is not who you are,” because then you’re kind of telling them.

But in your mind, I know this is not this person. I know that this is coming from this person’s thoughts, feelings. This movement, this demonstration is from there. You could say beta condition but really it’s coming from whatever it is they’re thinking and feeling in that moment, and that leads to the tool of emotional ownership. You can always choose love no matter what is happening in front of you. Love is an option for you when you have cognitive mastery and emotional ownership because you get to choose how you feel based on choosing those thoughts in that moment.

Second one is compassion, and that leads straight into compassion because you recognize that it’s not your model. It’s not your model that’s happening there, right? It’s other people’s models. Whatever somebody else is doing, whatever somebody else is saying, it’s not coming from you or any part of you. I think that we get stuck in our beta condition sometimes when we start taking offense to what other people are saying if we feel like they’re attacking us. They’re coming down on us. They’re saying something to us or about us. They’re judging us. Even if they are, it’s still coming from their mind. We never have to receive that. We never have to take that upon us and say, “Okay, that this judgment is true and I have to get defensive.”

We can always show up and recognize, and we do this from our alpha state. Recognize we do this from our alpha state, brother. We recognize that their actions come from their model of alignment. It comes from their universal truth. For you, you can see the truth behind the demonstration because their demonstration is your circumstance. Their actions, their words, those are circumstances for you. You can see if you are in the beta condition that it will appear as though those actions, those words coming from them are in some way directed towards you, are in some way aimed at affecting you, and you will abdicate that. You will allow that to be true. You will allow that to happen. You’re going to say, “Okay, I’m allowing this. I’m allowing you to hurt my feelings. I’m allowing you to take advantage of me. I’m allowing you to treat me this way because I don’t know how to treat myself, right?” There’s a piece of that coming from the lack of indomitable self-confidence, which is all coming from the beta condition.

In the alpha state, we build up those pillars of indomitable self-confidence within us, for us, for ourselves and unconditional love for others. So when other people are coming from a place of suffering, are coming from a place of pain, we don’t take it personally, get defensive, and lash back out. We have the indomitable self-confidence in ourselves to come instead from a place of compassion and recognize their actions are coming from their thoughts and their feelings. Now, the tool here is knowing that, knowing that that is the law, that that is a natural law for how things work.

The same way you know that, hey, if I set down my coffee mug on this table, it’s not going to float away. I’m going to set it down on this table and I know this because the law of gravity is always in effect. I may not need to do the math on it, right? I may not need to sit down here and weigh my coffee mug and the fluid in it and do the math of gravity to find out how many forces are being acted upon in order to recognize that it’s not going to float away? I know it’s not going to float away. Just like you don’t need to be doing models all the time and looking at the universal truth and seeing it work out this way for you to always know that other people, when they act, when they do something. It’s coming from their thoughts, not from your actions. It’s not a response. It may be a reaction, but there is no causation. There’s the very even slight correlation between your actions and their actions.

So you can then show up in compassion and say, “Okay. Now, I’m in that space of love. I’m choosing love more easily knowing that I’m not being attacked. I’m choosing love more easily knowing that this person’s actions, even if they do mean to attack me, even if they do want to attack me, then they told me that I’m doing this to get back at you or I’m doing this to hurt you. I still know that that is not true, that that is their illusion, that that is their beta condition, and I can be in that place of compassion to really show up then with an unconditional love, and that is amazing for any relationship, no matter what it is.

The third thing that unconditional love shows up as is that connection. It’s that connection with someone and that’s what I mean when I say unconditional because if there’s conditions, any condition whatsoever is going to create a disconnection because conditions are manuals, right? Conditions are you must act this way in order for me to show you love, right? In order for me to show you affection, in order for me to treat you kindly, like you need to do this first.

Here’s what trips me out about connection. Here’s what trips me out about connection and unconditional love because when we get in that place, like when you’re in that place of I’m not going to love this person because of what they did in the past, right? Maybe they did something that you’re holding onto in your brain. The story about some action they did or didn’t do, and you’ve got this story and you’re saying, “I am not going to treat them well. I’m not going to love them,” or, “I’m not going to be kind or give them affection.” Or if it’s your wife or if it’s your girlfriend or you got this, you’re holding this thing and the only person suffering is you. That’s what trips me out about the idea of connection and unconditional love is when we withhold love from other people. All we’re doing is withholding it from ourselves because other people don’t feel our love.

Other people don’t feel that connection. They don’t get that. What they get is our openness and strength in knowing that we cannot be affected by what other people do and that we don’t hold onto things that happened in the past. That we’re not holding onto some grudge or some sort of like slight that we’re making it mean something negative or disrespectful or whatever it is that we’re holding onto. The truth is when we do that, when we have these conditions for love, it’s like you need to treat me this way or else I’m going to give you the silent treatment or I’m going to be passive-aggressive or I’m going to sulk or I’m going to mope or whatever the manifestation of not love is. Then we’re creating that disconnection through basically becoming affected by whatever it is, this thing is versus maintaining that alpha state, maintaining that place of unconditional love, maintaining that place of, “Look, you’re still a human being. I forgive you.”

Now, when we talk about boundaries, of course, there may be some sort of change in the relationship. There may be some kind of change in behavior, but that forgiveness piece right there is it’s unconditional. It’s like, “Look, I love you. Okay. I forgive you of this action. I know this is coming from you.” And you have to say but you know knowing that it’s coming from their model, their universal truth, their suffering that that compassion can easily lead into forgiveness because, again, it’s for you. You forgive them for you. That’s kind of the move. What is it about their action that is preventing you from feeling amazing, right? What is it that they did that you’re now going to punish yourself by not feeling love?

So that connection, that unconditional piece is really about, look, there’s nothing they can do. There’s nothing you’ve done. There’s nothing you can do because I am indomitable. We go back to ISC, indomitable self-confidence. I’m indomitable. There’s nothing you can do in that second pillar. I can feel anything. I’m good, right? It’s totally good, and my connection with you from that alpha state is with the true you, not the actions, not the words, not whatever happens in the past. That’s the connection that we have in that third place of unconditional love.

Now, the fourth piece of unconditional love that comes from that alpha state through indomitable self-confidence. Remember, this is dealing with other people, so you have indomitable self-confidence in the three pillars for you. Remember those three pillars are thoughts, feelings, actions. So the other two parts, the other two components of the model of alignment are circumstances and results, and I want you guys to know that anything outside of you as it happens is happening for you or through you, okay?

So if it’s a circumstance, if there’s something in your C-line, it’s happening for you, and this is unconditional love. Understand, this is you receiving what is happening in your C-line. This is you receiving, perfection in the moment as it unfolds perfectly for you as intended, as what is necessary for you to have this experience. It is for you. It is the gift. Or it’s happening through you in the form of your result. You are creating it from your thought in your feeling via your action and in results. So it’s for you in circumstance or it’s through you as you are a part of the process of creation beginning with your beliefs, beginning with your mind. Your results, of course, then become evidence for the belief that you used to create it. That’s why it’s happening through you. You begin the process of creation from your alpha state or from your beta condition but you begin the process of creation through your belief, and then it becomes your result. So that’s through you or for you as a circumstance.

Any resistance, any resistance to that, any resistance to knowing that either the present moment is unfolding for you in perfect circumstance or through you as a consequence of your actions, as a consequence of your belief, any resistance to that is going to create anger. It’s going to create frustration. It’s going to create blame. It’s going to create complaining. It’s going to create manipulating or other forms of irrational control. Unconditional love begins with an acceptance to what is as either a creation from you as a result. You created it from your beliefs or as a gift for you in the form of a circumstance, in the form of what is happening.

Now, the tool here, the understanding of this, the way you practice this — again, all of this is in the academy. Brother, I want you to know you can enroll in the academy right now and you can get an acceleration on learning all this. I mean, it’s really amazing because right now you can learn this from the podcast, and I say this to you guys every week. You guys can always take these tools and begin to apply them from the podcast. But that’s like trying to learn how to read sitting in the passenger seat of a vehicle, driving 50 miles an hour through billboard signs, right? It’s like you’re trying to read by reading billboard signs, in a car is driving 50 miles an hour on the freeway. It’s just going to take you a long, long time, and you’re only going to get like a few bit and pieces of the vocabulary of the human language or of the English language or whatever language you’re trying to learn.

The idea here is that you go to a school and you learn how to read, right? You get the teacher. You get the instruction, and that’s what the academy is all about. So enroll in the academy and you’ll get all of this teaching in a much more depth way, but the tool that I want to give you right now for understanding that this is never happening against you, that your alpha state is aligning yourself with the truth, which is that the universe is happening for you and through you and with you. The tool here is that you can ask yourself this. You ask yourself this at that time, in that moment from your alpha state. How is this happening for me? Why is this a gift? What can I learn from this or what did I do? What did I do? What I feel, what I believe to create this for myself, right? If it’s a result, if it’s coming from my action, would I create it again? Does it serve me? Would I create it again?

If it doesn’t serve me, if I would not create it again, then how can I show up differently right now cognitively, emotionally, and in my demonstration and my action to produce a different result? Because that’s where you have all that control. That’s where you start to build that indomitable self-confidence. Recognizing that unconditional love comes from you going externally. It goes to the external. That’s what I’m saying. It has to do with your circumstances. It has to do with your result. Other people are circumstances always. They’re never a result. Other people are never a result, my friend. I know. I want to make that clear. I know some of you had said, “I want to have an amazing relationship with my wife.” Well, you and your wife will have an amazing relationship when you get control of your mind, when you start to master your cognition, and when you elevate your alpha state. It has nothing to do with controlling, changing manipulating, or fixing her because she is not a result. She is as she is.

It is you, brother. It is your circumstance. It’s the same with girlfriends. It’s the same with coworkers. It’s the same with employees, whatever. What we have control over, in our ability to develop and align ourselves with our alpha state is through the three pillars of indomitable self-confidence, thoughts, feelings, actions, where we want to show up with love, where we want to show up when the experience of the world through circumstances, through results with other people, with other things, and through the creation of our beliefs. When we create something, when something that’s a result of ours that we manifested either consciously or unconsciously, these are the things that we want to show up with unconditional love around. That is the alpha state. That comes from the alpha.

So that’s the five components and now I’m going to – Next week, we’re going to go through all of this in terms of process. I’m going to give you guys a process. But here’s what I want you to know. These two episodes, the five components of the model of alignment. Circumstance, we show up with circumstance. Circumstances show up in our lives perfectly for us. So what do we do with circumstances? We love them unconditionally. We say yes to the circumstance. We say yes to the moment. We say yes to the now.

Now, I’m not saying yes, yes, yes, yes, yes in terms of don’t have any boundaries. You want to have say no to things. But I’m talking about saying yes to what is. This is what is. When you begin to resist what is, then you get into anger, frustration, fear, hatred, blaming, complaining, manipulating, all that stuff, people pleasing, all that garbage, lying and so on. So we want to show up with love for the circumstance. Now, with our thoughts, we go down these five components of the model of alignment. With our thoughts, we show up with indomitable self-confidence because our thoughts are in our choice. We choose the thoughts that we want to have and we choose the thoughts service to make us strong. That is indomitable self-confidence. That’s one of our pillars.

Emotions. We handle, we process, we allow the emotions that come to us through our beta condition. When we feel something that was undeliberate, that we didn’t choose on purpose, we allow it. We don’t resist it. We don’t avoid it. We don’t run from it. We don’t know react to it, this big demonstration of cellular craziness. We just allow it. It’s there. We process it but we can also choose the emotions that serve us. This is the second pillar of indomitable self-confidence. Then, three, when we get to our actions, we get to show up. Our actions are totally on us. Our actions are never coming from somebody else.

We are always acting according to the way we think, feel, or just choose when we act in courage, when we’re feeling something that’s holding us back, creating hesitation. When we feel something that’s fearful or anxious, if we’re feeling those emotions of fear and anxiety, we can act in courage any way. We can still follow through in our commitments. When we do something that is unfamiliar, unknown, uncomfortable, we can still take that action and that builds our confidence. It builds our courage and our confidence. That’s the third pillar. Then when we get to results, that fifth pillar, we’re back to showing up, looking at, being with our creation, what we’ve created. We want to be there with love, with unconditional love. That’s the alpha state, the the alpha state existing through the five components of the model of alignment which is the universal truth and the framework, the algorithm, the proof for the law of mind and belief.

Now, brothers, like I said, you can use these concepts and tools immediately right now by going to thealphamalecoach.com and enrolling in the academy. When you’re ready, it’s right there. It’s ready for you. You can learn all these concepts and skills through the podcast, of course, but you will take it all to a deeper and accelerated level in the academy. It is a school. I love the academy. I love teaching students. I love having a lot of students. More and more students means more questions, means more growth, means more people that are coming to different levels. We’ve got guys that have been in here a year. We’ve got guys that have been in there six months, guys that have been in there two months, people enrolling and showing up all the time. It’s just awesome. I love to see the growth, and there is a spot for you.

I am so grateful to be able to watch my students take their lives to the next level in so many ways. So enroll in the academy and make that commitment to your personal development. Learn these skills on purpose. You can certainly download, subscribe, listen the podcast every week, but make that commitment to yourself. Make that commitment today to go to thealphamalecoach.com. I have multiple options available for you to get started right now. Maybe you just want to get started with the workbook. You just want to do a daily self-study. You can do that. I’ve got that option.

Maybe you want to get started with the webinars. You want to start taking online classes. You want to do the daily workbook but you also want that webinar. You also want to be able to ask me questions and attend webinars and attend group coaching calls. You have access to the website and all the videos. There’s that option too. There’s also an option for one-on-one coaching. You can get one-on-one live coaching, cognitive mastery coaching. It’s amazing. There are so many options, but you just got to start. You’ve just got to begin and make that commitment to yourself for your own personal development.

Now, next week, I’m going to get into a process, and you won’t want to miss that episode. So go to thealphamalecoach.com. Enroll in the academy, and I will see you there, and you will begin the process to elevate your alpha.

[END OF EPISODE]

[00:27:20] ANNOUNCER: Thank you for listening to this episode of The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. If you have enjoyed what you’ve heard and want even more, sign up for Unleash Your Alpha, your guide to shifting to the alpha mindset at thealphamalecoach.com/unleash.

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