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//Ep #54: Understanding Emotional Ownership

Ep #54: Understanding Emotional Ownership

Welcome, brothers. Today I am here to speak about the idea that controlling your thoughts can allow you to also control the emotions you feel on a daily basis. When you start thinking differently about the way you think, you start creating your life in a different, more intentional way.

I talk more about the three steps you can take to reprogramming your thinking in order to get out of a victim state and into one where you are in charge of your feelings. These steps are emotional awareness, emotional ownership, and finally, cognitive mastery. Picture your emotions like drinks at a bar that you can order. You get to choose which ones you drink!

One of the main things to remember here though is learning to distinguish uncomfortable emotions from self-indulgent ones. The first group is actually necessary and part of the human experience, whereas the second are crippling and inhibit us from taking a step into controlling our lives. Tune in and learn to take the steps toward future-focused thinking, amazing relationships, indomitable self-confidence, and total behavioral mastery.

Want to know more about what I do and how I can help you? Sign up for a free 45-minute session with me, and I’ll show you how this works!

What You’ll Learn from This Episode:

  • When we stop feeling bad about feeling bad, we actually feel better.
  • Reprogramming the brain to think positively can’t happen instantly.
  • The alpha state does not judge bad thoughts as much as a step back from them.
  • Seeing bad thoughts as self-created leads to feeling empowered rather than sad.
  • Emotional awareness and emotional ownership have to come before cognitive mastery.
  • One has to transfer from a theoretical to a practical understanding of cognitive mastery.
  • Picture emotions like drinks that you can choose from at a bar: which ones do you want?
  • There are three steps to cognitive mastery.
  • Step one is realizing we can choose what to feel.
  • Step two is realizing that negative emotions are necessary and learning to deal with them.
  • Step three is dropping self-indulgent negative emotions.
  • Some ‘negative’ emotions are necessary, unlike self-indulgent ones.
  • Seeing bad but necessary emotions as wanted gives us authority over them.
  • Indulgent emotions protect us from taking action.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

  • Learn how you can enter to win one of five FREE coaching sessions here!
  • Sign up for Unleash Your Alpha, your guide to shifting to the Alpha mindset.

Full Episode Transcript:

 

[INTRODUCTION]

[0:00:09.6] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to The Alpha Male Coach podcast. The only podcast that teaches men the cognitive mastery and alpha mindset that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence. Here is your host, certified life coach and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud.

[EPISODE]

[0:00:32.8] KA: What’s up brothers, welcome back to the Alpha Male coach podcast. I am your host Kevin Aillaud and today is November 1st. Along with the release of this episode is the start of a new month in the Spartan Agoge program and this month, we are training our emotional ownership skills and so this podcast is going to explain what that means. I’m going to talk a lot about emotions here and I know some of these concepts are already blowing your mind and that’s the point bro.

Because when you start thinking differently about the way you think, you start creating your life in a different, more intentional way. We’re going to talk about emotional ownership but before that, pause the podcast, run over to iTunes, leave me a five-star rating and review. I see that you guys are doing this. This is picking up. We are getting way more ratings and reviews and I love it and I appreciate it. Thank you guys.

Go ahead and do that if you haven’t already. If you have, thank you very much. Now, we’re going to talk about ownership, we’re going to talk about contrast, and we’re going to talk about awareness because these are all about balancing our emotion. Just like everything else in the universe, your body requires emotional balance.

The main thing to remember bro, is that when we stop feeling bad about feeling bad, we actually feel better. Right? Most of just want to feel better and one of the best ways to feel better is to understand that we’re not supposed to feel great all the time. I think a lot of my anxiety and depression throughout my entire life was because I felt like I should feel better more of the time.

Most of the time, I was avoiding emotion with buffering and then feeling bad about that. It is so unnecessary for me to feel bad about feeling bad because what happened was, I would just double down on feeling bad. When I could just accept that part of the human experience is a contrast in thinking which means a contrast in emotion.

[0:02:38.3] KA: Then, I could be at peace with my experience as a human being. This is where it seems to be a lot of confusion around the purpose of cognitive mastery and emotional ownership because a lot of my students, when they learn the universal truth and come to me for coaching, they just want to skip right to thinking different thoughts.

The first argument that I always get is, “Okay, what you’re telling me is that if our thoughts create our feelings, why don’t we just feel great all the time? Why don’t I just master my mind so I’m always thinking good stuff and why don’t we just try to feel great all the time with this mastery of cognition?”

In fact, I have a lot of new students who actually try to do this. They will try and take all their current negative thinking when they do a thought download and they’ll try to make it all positive, all the time, right? Then, they’ll actually feel guilty and they’ll beat themselves up for any negative thoughts and any negative emotion like in some way, they’re telling themselves that they’re failing to be alpha if they have any negative thoughts.

What I explain to them is that first, number one, understand this. That the alpha is your curious non-judgment, okay? It is the curious non-judgment of the thought that comes from awareness and separation. It’s not judgment. You know, instead of judging yourself or thinking something and blaming yourself in that spin because that is the beta condition.

[0:04:05.6] KA: The alpha does not judge so any time you’re judging yourself or thinking anything, then you’re back in that condition, right? That, we will have the emotional balance. We have to have that emotional balance so we can do it more deliberately and that gives us clarity around that emotion, instead of the suffering within it. Instead of becoming it.

I want to make sure you all really understand this very well. It’s a pretty advanced concept and we’re going to talk about it much deeper in the Spartans and you know, you guys that have been with me for a while, you know, we’re going to see if we can wrap our heads around this now. This idea that as we become aware of our feelings, the more we become aware, the more we become emotionally aware of our thoughts and start paying attention to those thoughts that are creating those emotions.

There is this tendency to beat ourselves up because we’ll understand that our negative emotion and negative thinking is all self-created. We start to blame ourselves, right? Or other people for how we’re feeling and how we’re thinking. When we can’t blame other people, then we really blame ourselves because now we understand through the universal truth – it’s like, “Wait, it’s all my thinking so it’s all my fault.”

Which some people think is very bad news. Because then, they use it as an excuse to beat themselves up instead of a reason to feel super empowered, right? To use the universal truth and this is why I teach emotional ownership. Cognitive mastery, you guys may have a pretty good hand on but this is why I teach emotional ownership.

[0:05:44.0] KA: Here’s the deal, this is emotional ownership. Let’s say you walk into a bar and instead of the bar tender asking you, “What do you drink?”, she says to you, “What emotion do you want to feel? Which feeling would you choose today?” This is really important imagery for you to get. It’s really something I want you to visualize and to see for yourself because this is exactly the power that you have in your life. You get to choose how to feel all the time by what you think.

This does not mean that you should choose to feel great all the time. A lot of times, we don’t want to feel great about what’s going on in the world but here’s the difference. There is a difference when you decide that feeling sad is what you want to feel versus feeling like an emotion is not within your control.

Let me tell you why this matters so much. Because if you feel like your anxiety, your frustration, your sadness, your grief, your anger, your pain, whatever, is caused by the external world and you’re unable to control the external world. You will be tempted to buffer. Which means you’ll be tempted to avoid, right? Escape how you’re feeling.

You’re going to be tempted to avoid your emotion because you’re going to feel as if the emotion’s being caused by the world, outside of you, and there’s nothing you can do about it. The only way to feel better is to escape into that buffer, into that false pleasure and most of my students come to me with this belief system and they don’t even realize it.

[0:07:05.3] KA: They don’t know why they’re buffering. They don’t understand the reason why they’re buffering is because they want to feel better and they don’t know how because they think that their emotions are caused by the world and they can’t change the world. And they can’t change the world.

Now, what I’ve been teaching you over the past year in this podcast is that the world doesn’t cause you to feel anything. Your thoughts cause you to feel everything and you are in control of your thinking. When you feel negatively, if you want to feel better, you can change the way that you’re thinking.

And, this is very – this is a very important “and”. I want you guys to know that I’m not saying this as a small “and”. In case you guys haven’t noticed, I don’t use the word “but” very often. I use the word “and”. Because the word “but” negates everything you said before it whereas the word “and” includes everything you said before it.

I want you to pay very close attention to this sentence. You can change the way you feel by changing the way you think and if the reason you want to feel better is because you don’t manage your emotions, you need to learn how to feel a feeling all the way through before you start trying to change it.

[0:08:22.5] KA: Step one is emotional awareness. Step two is being willing to feel any emotion for as long as it takes brother. Because that is emotional ownership and then step three, and only then step three, is to change the way you think and that’s cognitive mastery. Now, that’s the keys to the kingdom bro. That’s it.

You know, here’s the funny thing because the way I see it is like this. Cognitive mastery and emotional ownership is like a bicycle, right? It’s like a bicycle and I describe it to you every week. Every week I explain to you the way a bicycle works. Here are the handles, you sit on it, you use your feet to turn the pedals and just every week, I just explain the same thing in a different way.

What you’re doing is you’re like putting pieces together and trying to learn how to ride a bicycle by listening to the description of how to ride a bicycle. But the truth is, you really just got to get on the bike, right? You got to do the work. You got to get in there and take that massive action.

So understanding, I’ll say the same thing to you every single week and you guys know the universal truth. You know the model. You know the steps, awareness, acceptance and wisdom and you guys know all this. It’s doing the work, right? It’s like getting in there and riding the bike. That is how you learn to ride a bike, not by listening to the description.

[0:09:50.8] KA: So, understand that that’s what coaching is all about. That’s why I recommend the Spartan Agoge program to you guys every week. That’s why I offer to you and suggest it to you. Because I’m the guy. I’m like dad. I’m like holding the back of your seat while you’re learning how to ride this bike. That’s what we do in the Agoge, right?

Then, when you’re ready, I let go and all of a sudden. You’re riding the bike and riding the bike is future focused thinking, indomitable self-confidence, amazing relationships, total behavioral mastery. I mean, that’s all the alpha path.

When you’re riding it on your own, right? Because as long as you’re listening to the descriptions over and over, you’re really only going to piece together a conceptual understanding, a theoretical knowledge. Whereas getting on there and having that experience, that application and doing the work, that’s how you actually get the skill.

Now, there are three ways of developing the skillset of emotional ownership and actually, it’s not three ways but there’s three ways we kind of decide how we want to feel, right? The first is our wanted feelings to have a balance. We want certain feelings in our life and we want to balance those feelings.

What are the feelings that you want to experience in the world? I want to go to this analogy that you probably heard me use before and I want you to hold a suspension of disbelief with me for a moment and imagine you were being born as an adult.

[0:11:13.5] KA: Right before coming to earth, coming to earth as an adult. That’s really not a birth. It’s more of like a spontaneous appearance, but right before coming to earth, you have to pass through the bar of emotion. This is the bar I mentioned earlier where the bar tender says, you get to pick the emotions you want to feel throughout your life as an adult.

Every time you take a shot, you know, just all the taps. There’s like hundreds of taps with all these emotions on them and for every emotion you take the shot, you get to feel that during your human experience. Now, which ones would you pick? That’s the big question. Which ones do you want to feel? This is in your state, this is in your ability as an alpha male, as an alpha human. Is to choose what you want to feel.

Most of us react from the beta condition of trying to feel good all the time. But that would be totally weird, wouldn’t it? I mean, think about it, you’d be happy during sad moments. You’d be excited during painful experiences, right? I really want you to think about this from a conscious place, from your alpha state, the state that doesn’t fear uncomfortable emotion. The state that owns emotion.

You’re coming to experience humanity as a human. Which emotions do you want to have in your repertoire to be able to feel, to have the fullness – the fullest – human experience. That’s number one, wanted and deliberate feelings in order to have balance.

[0:12:51.1] KA:  Now, the other two types of the way we want to feel in order to own our emotions. We want unwanted feelings so that we can allow them in order to release resistance and number three, we want to completely eliminate indulgent emotion or indulgent feelings. Now, we learn to own our emotions in these three ways guys. I want to just quickly review them.

One is wanted feelings that we choose because we want to have a balance as humans. Number two is unwanted feelings that we wouldn’t pick of the tap, right? Nothing that we choose to have but when we do have them, we allow them in order to resist resisting them and number three is the indulgent emotions that we need to just completely eliminate, just need to drop them.

We don’t want to resist them but we definitely want to stop indulging in them. Now, I’m going to go through a list of feelings and I’m going to talk a little bit about a couple of them and I want you guys to really think about them because what you’re doing here when you’re thinking about them is deciding, are these emotions going to serve you and how would they serve you? How can they help you grow?

Now, some of these I’ve done a podcast on and will do longer explanations on in other podcast episodes and if you’re in the Spartan Agoge program, then you are going to get a deep dive into all of this during the month of November, but I’m just reading from a list that the Spartans are going to take up this month.

The first one is happy, and I think most of us would choose this off the tap, right? “Give me a shot of happiness,” right? “I’m taking that one with me.” This I believe is true because happiness is one of those emotions that is universal. You can find the word happiness in every language around the world.

[0:14:33.8] KA: I mean, I know coaches who specialize in happiness for their clients. I mean, that’s how strong happiness is. That’s how much we desire happiness. It’s almost like, if you could sell happiness, it would be the most highest sold product on the planet, right? If it was possible.

Fortunately for us, you don’t have to buy happiness because it comes from your brain, right? Most of us want to feel it, it’s a good feeling, and I want you to think about the thoughts that cause you to feel happiness, right? It’s a positive emotion and we tend to get really into the illusion when it comes to positive emotions. It’s very tempting to think about situations that we think make us feel happy, right?

Stick with me here and listen to this. Listen to what most people say. It’s easy to say that when I’m with a girlfriend, I feel happy, right? When my dog’s in the room, I feel happy. When I make a lot of money, I feel happy, right? When I get a new client I feel happy. When the sun is out I feel happy. Right? You hear all that? Now, what I want you guys to hear is that it’s very easy for us to attribute our emotion, right? The feeling of happiness to those external circumstances.

But what I want you to attribute your emotions to is your thoughts. If you think “I’m so happy when I’m with one of my girlfriends or when I’m with my wife,” what is the thought you have that causes the feeling of happiness because brother, I’m telling you, it’s not the woman causing the feeling, right? It’s your thoughts about the woman or it’s the thoughts about yourself when you’re with the woman.

[0:16:02.6] KA: It is your thinking always and you can think those thoughts any time whether she is there or not, whether your dog is there or not, whether you’ve made a lot of money or not, whether the sun is out or not. Happiness comes from your thinking. Okay. Number two, the second emotion is ‘sad’. Now, I want you to think about if sad is one of the emotions that you would pick to take a shot from before entering earth and why.

I think the feeling of sadness is important to distinguish from self-pity or pity and here’s what I really want you guys to know and why I would choose sadness. The reason why I say that sadness is different than self-pity is because self-pity is like sadness towards yourself. It’s feeling sorry for yourself, right? It’s like kind of like the victim mentality, the victim mindset.

It’s very different than the emotion of sadness when it’s appropriate and useable. I think most of us would take a shot of sadness as an emotion that we would want to experience as humans because I think most of us want to feel sad when sad things happen, when things we think are sad.

It’s part of being human. Remember, just as a side note, when I say, “Take a shot of sadness,” I mean, “You get to choose what you feel by being at that bar.” When you drink it, you feel it, right? I know there are people that takes shots of alcohol when they’re sad but that’s very different, right? That’s the attempt to avoid the sadness and I’m sure that most of you are following that analogy but I just wanted to clarify that.

[0:17:28.5] But in terms of being sad, wouldn’t it be weird if you just didn’t have sadness? When you want to feel sad about something and you can’t. It is just not there and it is even more weird to think about how that relates to happiness because if you don’t have any experience of sadness then how do you contrast the happiness, right? How do you make happiness when you don’t understand sadness? So there is a lot of value in there.

Okay, the next one is ‘angry’, and angry is one of those emotions that feels useful, that usually isn’t. I can think of maybe one or two instances where anger is powerful and if you are training yourself to feel it and use it, then you can get some really massive action from it and, you know, I personally – I generally refer to this as ‘the dark side’, and I know a few coaches that teach this process. You know, the use of anger, the use of arrogance, the use of the power of, “I told you so,” right? In order to create massive action in their life. But I think most of us would want to make sure that we had anger as an emotion to feel so we could process that emotion in a usable servable way, not in a reactive way. Feel anger but feel it in serenity. So we are processing it, not becoming it.

All right, confused. Now we are getting into indulgence guys. Confusion is one of those indulgent emotions, isn’t it? It is an emotion that is just not useful. Now, I’ve heard people say, “But what if you are just confused? What if you just don’t know?” As if confusion is something that happens to you and I want to remind you that confusion is not something that happens to you. Confusion is something you decide to experience by saying, “I don’t understand this. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what the next step is to take,” and a lot of us indulge in this emotion and believe that it is useful and I want to offer to you that it is not useful because confusion is not one that you need.

[0:19:30.8] And in fact, you can always be thinking a thought, “I am going to figure this out. I am figuring this out. I am understanding this. I am learning this.” You could always think that as an alternative to feeling confused. Confusion doesn’t lead to clarity. Confusion just keeps us stuck and unmoving. It is kind of a paralysis type of emotion. It is not an emotion that we need to be indulging in ever.

Okay, what about depressed? Now depressed is one that you really want to think about and I want you to think about it in terms of – is it a useful, purposeful human emotion? Now for me, I would put that under number two right? It would be an emotion that I wouldn’t choose to take a shot off from the tap, right? It is not something I want to choose to take with me and when it comes up, when it comes into my body, I want to allow it to be there without resistance, without avoidance and without reacting to it.

A lot of times, we resist emotion and that causes us a level of emotional exhaustion that leads us into a depression. So I think if we are depressed, denying that depression or avoiding it is not useful. It is one of those emotions that we need to allow and it is one that is not really going to serve us in a useful, purposeful way in our lives as far as I can tell based on my own life. So it is one of those that I wouldn’t choose to feel on purpose but when it’s there, just allow it to be there. Don’t resist it.

Now, I am going to go through and list some other feelings, some other emotions, and I want you to think about whether you would take a shot of these, whether you want to take these with you to have in your experience, in your body, before you make the trip to earth, to include in your human experience, and then consider why or why not, all right? So here we go, I am not going to pause much because I want to get through all of these. I really want you to think about these.

[0:21:21.5] Furious, bewildered, excited. I would go with excited. I want excited, right? And I am reading this off a list guys so I am jumping my own commentary in a bit as well. Disappointed, enraged, trapped, overjoyed, alone, outraged, troubled, thrilled. There are some good ones in there right? Oh here is one, ‘hurt’. I want you to think about hurt, right? I really want you to think about hurt because it is this buzz word that is going around.

It is a good one right? Like, we need to have that as an emotion, don’t we? Think of all the talk about the offensive language and people calling each other snowflakes around feelings, and I think hurt is definitely useful, but the question is how would you use it? Would you use it in a way to try and control the world and to blame other people and say, “You hurt my feelings,” which we know isn’t true. We know that is a violation of the universal truth.

We know that we only hurt our own feelings by the way we think. Or do you use it in a way to really manage your mind and discover more truth about yourself to remove the barriers blocking your personal greatness? So I think hurt is important in that way because when we feel hurt, we can go into our brain and figure out why we’re feeling that, and recognize that it is really just a life we are telling ourselves about ourselves.

All right guys, how about some more? How about aggravated, desperate, right? Yes or no? Are these things you want? Exuberance, yes or no? Would you include it? Left out, irate, actually, ‘left out’, let’s hang onto that one. ‘Left out’ is an interesting one. I think feeling left out is an indulgent emotion. It is not really useful because it is something that we create in our brain. It is something we create in our minds and I’ve had people argue with me on this.

[0:23:07.9] So, you know, you are entitled to your own opinion but I think you can’t feel left out. It is like abandonment right? You can’t feel abandoned as an adult. You can’t abandon adults and people argue with me on this too. I mean people really have a strong feeling or fear of abandonment. You can abandon children and puppies, right? You can only abandon those people and animals that can’t survive on their own. As adults, we can all survive on our own.

We cannot be abandoned. Like that is the definition of abandoned. It is leaving something that cannot exist or survive on its own. And yet, we have this feeling of being abandoned and that feeling, just like left out, is an indulgent emotion. It serves no functional purpose for us. You are feeling abandoned because of a thought, “I can’t survive on my own,” and that is an illusion. It is a lie told by that child-like beta condition that is in fear of survival.

And just like the cognition, “I don’t know,” that drives the indulgent emotion of confusion, which is always a lie, you can always survive on your own. So ‘abandonment’, ‘left out’, they are the same. They are kind of like that indulgent – they fit into that category number three. We just don’t need them. They don’t help us. Okay, so back to the list. ‘Irate’, yes or no? Lost, static, dejected, seething, fired up, hopeless. I think hopeless is much more of an indulgent emotion as well.

I haven’t done an episode on hope and I think hopeless and hope are the same in terms of their indulgence and I am not going to go too much more on that because we are already getting long in the podcast here and I want to finish up with this list but I will do something on hope and hopeless. Delighted, sorrowful, crushed, cheerful, yes or no? ‘Heartbroken’, yes or no? ‘Heartbroken’ is an interesting one brothers and I am going to tell you in my own experience, I have learned so much from heartbreak.

[0:25:06.2] I would take a shot of heartbreak. I would take a shot of heartbreak just knowing how much it’s helped me to learn more about myself. Sometimes you just need a really good heartbreak and I want to feel heartbroken when something happens that I wished wouldn’t happen, when things go in a way that I’d rather they didn’t. I am willing to be heartbroken about it. I am willing to set huge dreams like set huge goals and not achieve them and being willing to be heartbroken.

I don’t think it is a detrimental emotion to me but you have to decide what you want, what works for you. Okay, upset, disorganized, up-down, mad, foggy. Foggy? Foggy is in here that is interesting. I don’t know. Would anybody say, “I hope I feel foggy today?” I don’t know, that is interesting. Good, annoyed, misplaced. Now that is interesting. Do you ever feel misplaced? That is funny as well. Relieved, distressed, frustrated, disoriented, satisfied, regretful, agitated, mixed up, contented, disgusted.

‘Disgusted’, that is one we can talk about. That is an interesting one too because, don’t you want to feel disgusted at things that you think are disgusting? Do you want to have the ability to think that things are disgusting and feel disgusted? Like, I would. I think that would be one that I would want. Now look guys, I am going to finish there so that we can finish up with the podcast, finish up the episode, but I want you to know, this is a very powerful exercise to go through.

And really decide on purpose which emotions are you going to feel and how are you going to balance them out. One of the recommendations that I give to my students is to get a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle on side, put positive on the other side put negative and balance out those emotions. So on one side, you might put happy, on the other side you might put sad, right? Now those are two emotions you would want to experience in contrast.

[0:26:58.3] You know, on the positive side, you might put delighted and on the other side, you might put disgusted, and they don’t have to be opposite to each other right? Delighted and disgusted are not necessarily in contrast but they are just – one is positive, one is negative, and what you do is you write these down and if you were to decide on purpose what the emotions are, what would be the positive ones, what would be the negative ones and then compare and contrast that to emotions that you have on a daily basis.

This is emotional ownership because you choose. You choose the emotions that you feel versus the ones that you think are just happening to you because you are not paying attention to what you are thinking, and it is really important for you to decide what you’re going to feel on purpose and be more deliberate with it. Now, check this out. Now as a heads up, I get this question a lot and I want to prepare you that you may ask this.

A lot of my students have said, “I noticed that when I’m willing to feel a balance of emotion, you know, the positive and the negative, and I do understand what you are saying, like I have this intellectual understanding and I do agree that we could do it 50-50 and, you know, have this good balance, but I feel like I am angry all the time.” Or, “I feel like I am anxious all the time and I don’t see what I want to feel anxious all the time about.”

And that my brother is a sentence of resistance, because what I want to offer you is that when you have anxiety about your anxiety or you have worry about your worry, you’re just compounding this situation, right? If you are willing to allow the experience of anxiety to be one of the emotions that you have on the negative side, which means you are actually choosing it on purpose, that is when you will get the authority over it.

[0:28:50.9] That is when you will get the ownership over it because rejecting it and pushing it away is not working. Now this is different to an indulgent emotion that may leave us feel on purpose as a way to protect ourselves from taking action. So understand the difference and I talked about indulgent emotions before right? Indulging in worry, indulging in doubt, indulging in anger.

I am not talking about anger in a way that is useful. I am talking about really just like stomping your feet right? That is indulging in self-pity. Those kinds of emotions that we use as a way to protect ourselves, to hide in a cave with our safe little emotional identity and really just to not show up authentic in our lives. So those are the three things that I want you to imagine and of course, I listed a bunch of emotions here but there are so many more that you can find, right?

Emotions are really limited by language. We can talk about feelings in as many intensities as we learn to describe them with our words. So, is this an emotion that I want to include in my life? That is always the question you ask. First, you become aware and then you take ownership. Now here is the thing I want you to do. I want you to be willing to add new emotions, practice new emotions. Include new emotions in your life and maybe add some to that negative side that you wouldn’t have chosen, but that are part of your current experience in order to establish that ownership over it in order to master it and have that authority, some willingness to understand, to see what your feeling and to find the thoughts causing it and then, and only then, make that decision to maybe change that thought in order to change that feeling but too many, too many of my students just want to get rid of their feelings by trying to think positively.

[0:30:41.0] Just by changing their thought without having any authority over their emotion and it is just not sustainable, brother. It just doesn’t work. When we really understand why we are feeling the way we do, and what we’re thinking and what is causing it, then we can start to understand that these habits we have include the emotion. We get to memorizing and patterning these feelings the same way we memorize and pattern thoughts.

And we think that they are just part of us right? Part of our personality, useful and necessary, but the truth is many times, we can eliminate all of those buffering type emotions and all of those indulgent type emotions that prevent us from being who we are meant to be, who we really are. We also need to open up and embrace, like really just allow and be willing to feel all the negative emotions that we have been trying to shut out for so long because we are terrified of feeling them, right?

We want to create and practice and rehearse the positive emotions, the emotions that we will have that will help us create our dreams because remember, our emotions, our feelings, are what create our actions and results. We need to be able to create a balance of feelings that produce the life that we want to produce. I know that this podcast is taking you guys to a really advanced place. I get that in terms of how to think about emotional ownership and cognitive mastery.

And what it means to live as your alpha and I hope for some of you it resonates. I hope for some of you it makes sense and that you are able to apply it and then you can start thinking about the feelings that you want to experience as a human on purpose instead of by default. But just like I said with the bicycle earlier in the episode, when you are ready to take this training to the next level, when you are ready to step onto the bike and start pedaling and stirring yourself, check out the Elevated Alpha Society Spartan Agoge Program.

[0:32:37.6] It is the only program that teaches the skills of cognitive mastery and emotional ownership that builds the four characteristics of your alpha. You learn the future focused thinking, amazing relationships, indomitable self-confidence and total behavioral mastery. So if you are ready or if you just want to know more about the program, go to thealphamalecoach.com and check out the Spartan Agoge program to start training your brain, elevating your alpha and living the life you create.

That’s what I got for you today guys. I hope you had an amazing week and until I talk to you next week. Elevate your alpha.

[END OF INTERVIEW]

[0:33:21.4] ANNOUNCER: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Alpha Male Coach Podcast. If you enjoyed what you’ve heard and want even more, sign up for Unleash Your Alpha, your guide to shifting to the alpha mindset, at the alphamalecoach.com/unleash.

[END]

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By |2019-10-31T16:59:03-07:00November 1st, 2019|Podcast|0 Comments

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