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//Ep #83: Truth Series – The Emotional Truth (Part 2)

Ep #83: Truth Series – The Emotional Truth (Part 2)

In part 2 we are going to be talking about the emotional truth. Human beings are emotional junkies, our actions always come through our emotions. We think we are after a result, but we are after the feeling we think it will give us.

We run from, and run TO emotion. Everything in life is an emotional experience, good or bad. You have control over the quality of your life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Want to know more about what I do and how I can help you? Sign up for a free 45-minute session with me, and I’ll show you how this works!

 

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

  • Our emotions are the key to finding the thoughts that hold us back
  • How we can be more in control of our emotions through our thoughts
  • What it means to be Alpha in the current external circumstance

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

  • Learn how you can enter to win one of five FREE coaching sessions here!
  • Sign up for Unleash Your Alpha, your guide to shifting to the Alpha mindset.

Kevin Aillaud :

What’s up brothers. Kevin Aillaud here, host of The Alpha Male Coach Podcast, and I want to let you know that if you want to see or hear an example of Causal Coaching, you can check that out over on my buddy’s podcast, the Unapologetic Man Podcast. That’s my buddy Mark Sing. On April 3rd, he released an episode of his podcast, in which it was going to be an interview, and it ended up being an example of coaching. So check that out, The Unapologetic Man Podcast, by our brother Mark Sing. Now, without further ado, let’s get into this week’s podcast episodes on the archipelago truth, the emotional truth, and the abundant truth, all facets, and explanations of the universal truth. Let’s get started guys. Elevate your alpha.

Speaker 2:

Welcome to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast, the only podcast that teaches men, the cognitive mastery, and alpha-mindset, that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence. Here’s your host, certified life coach, and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud.

Kevin Aillaud :

What’s up my brothers? Welcome back to the Alpha Male Coach Podcast, I am your host, Kevin Ailaud. It’s Wednesday, it’s part two and it is the emotional truth. So today we’re going to talk about a different kind of truth. So the archipelago truth, was the analogy of your brain, the analogy of how the mind works, how cognition works, how relationships work, because relationships are just thoughts. We’re not in a relationship with people, we’re not in a relationship with money, we’re not in relationship with our past, we’re not in a relationship with our business, we’re not in a relationship with anything, except for our thoughts about everything. That is always the truth. We’re always only in a relationship with our thoughts. However, it is our emotions that determine our quality of life. And so we’re going to talk about the emotional truth today, but first, pause the episode, pause the podcast, head over to iTunes, leave me a five star rating and review.

Kevin Aillaud :

And again, we are getting so close to 200, we might be at 200 by the time this gets released, and I know that some of you do not listen to this podcast on iTunes. If you don’t, you can still leave me a rating on whatever medium you listen to, but the goal is 500 ratings, 500 ratings and reviews on iTunes. So if that’s what you’re doing, guys, pause it, rate it five stars and review it, and then hit and come on back. Now, with the emotional truth, I want to start with this. I want to first tell you guys this. Human beings, are emotional junkies essentially, from our beta condition. Like as animals. As animals, we’re emotional junkies. Most animals, many animals, in fact I would say almost all of the animals, are not chasing their emotion. Wait, they’re chasing their sustenance.

Kevin Aillaud :

They’re out there looking for food, looking for shelter, looking for reproduction, they’re just looking to maintain that, their organism. They’re kind of on autopilot. It’s sort of just like an automated robotic program, that’s being run in order to be safe, in order to survive, in order to reproduce, replicate, and maintain whatever species we’re talking about, whether it’s a bird, whether it’s a dog, whether it’s a monkey. Human beings are a little different. That’s human beings are very different. Human beings, we want all that stuff. We want to have food, we want to have shelter, we want to have security, safety, all that. Replicate our species, all that. But it’s really what we’re doing, really what our actions are being driven from, and driven to, is emotion. Driven from, and driven to. Our actions always come from our emotion. You guys know this, this is the universal truth, this is how we look at the world when we see it through the model.

Kevin Aillaud :

We know that the universal truth is, that circumstances, the present moment is neutral. And it’s unfolding for us in perfection for us, for us to think about, for us to judge, have a cognition about, in the purpose, in the conclusion that it serves our dreams, that it serves our desires. The circumstance’s provided for us, we think about it, that thought creates an emotion, that emotion drives our actions, those actions give us our results, and then our results reaffirm that thought, that judgment that we have about the neutral circumstance. A lot of times those results, they are from old thoughts. They’re from old thoughts, that are now not serving us anymore, which is what creates us suffering. It’s like we feel something we don’t want to feel anymore, because of the old thought that we used to want to feel, but now we no longer want to feel, because it’s not getting us the same results anymore.

Kevin Aillaud :

All of our feelings, all of our emotions come from our thoughts, but we’re also always chasing the feeling. Because we’re not after the result. Guys, we’re not after the reproduction. We’re not after trying to maintain our species. We’re not after the food. We’re not after the digestion, the cellular breakdown of nutrients, so that we can rebuild our soft tissue. We’re not after that. That’s not why we eat. We eat because of the way we think it’s going to make us feel. Because if we were really after food, in terms of sustenance, then we would never eat certain things. We’d never eat a Twinkie, because there’s no sustenance in that at all. There were certain things we’d never eat. We would never drink alcohol, because there’s no sustenance in that at all. There are certain things we would just never ever put into our body, if our brains were telling us that eating is for sustenance, but it’s not.

Kevin Aillaud :

Our brains are telling us, that we want to feel better. We’re chasing emotion, so it’s not the result we’re after. It’s not the money we’re after. It’s not the food we’re after. It’s not the relationship we’re after. It’s the way we think, the money, the food, the relationship is going to make us feel. So not only do we act from emotion, but we also chase emotion. So life is emotion. That is the emotional truth. The quality of life that you have, is based on the emotional experience that you are having. If you have an amazing quality of life, it’s not because you have money, it’s because of the way you feel right now. If you have a horrible quality of life, it’s not because of the circumstances that you’re in, it’s because of the way you’re feeling right now. And I can prove this so many times.

Kevin Aillaud :

I can prove it over, and over, and over again, because whatever it is, you think you want to have as a result in your life, so you can feel better, I can introduce you to someone who has those results, and still feels miserable. Similarly, I can show you, that if you think your results that you have right now are making you feel miserable, I can introduce you to someone who has the same results you have, and feels amazing, because it’s never about that. It’s never about the results. It’s always about the way we think the results are going to make us feel. We’re always chasing those emotions. That’s the emotional truth.

Kevin Aillaud :

Our quality of life, when life feels good, when life feels amazing, it’s because we feel good. It’s because we are subjectifying our emotional experience as positive. We’re saying happiness feels good. We’re saying excitement feels good. We’re saying confidence feels good, and because these emotions feel good, I’m having a good feeling, and I’m in a positive quality of life. I’m having good, my life is great. When we’re suffering, it’s because we’re subjectifying our emotions in a negative way. We’re saying shame feels bad.

Kevin Aillaud :

We’re saying anxiety feels bad. We’re saying fear feels bad. We’re saying all these things feel bad, and then we’re using that, that emotion to say life is bad. I feel bad, my life is horrible, my life is bad. It’s not the circumstance though, because our brains are going to point to the circumstance and say, the reason why I feel bad, is because I got furloughed. It’s because I’m not working. Because I’m not having the same amount of income as I had before. But that’s not what feels bad, because that feels like nothing. There was a time in your life when that was the case, and there was nothing. What feels bad, is the way you’re thinking about those circumstances, and what your body is feeling based on the way you’re thinking about it.

Kevin Aillaud :

That’s what feels bad. It’s not what’s happening. It’s the vibrations in the cells in your body. And that doesn’t even feel bad. What feels bad, is your interpretation of that vibration. That’s the emotional truth. So when we look at that, when we really think about what that means, what is the emotional truth? The emotional truth is, that everything in life is an emotional experience, that one, we subjectively determine, and balance in a 50-50 way where we can say, half of the time we feel bad, half the time we have this negative emotional vibration, or cellular vibration, and the other half the time, we have a subjectively positive cellular vibration, but that’s a balance of 50-50 and that balance of 50-50 is deliberate, because we could just as easily say that, all cellular vibration is neutral, and we’re just subjectifying it with our brains.

Kevin Aillaud :

However, either way you want to look at it, it’s saying the same thing, but it’s saying that you have control. The truth is you are in control of that. You are in power, you are in empowerment, of how you feel. You have control over your quality of life. And that along with your results, along with the way you create your external life, is what I mean, when I say it doesn’t serve you. We know what I mean when I say does it serve you when it comes to the external results. You guys know what I mean when I say that. Are you constructing the life you want? Are you constructing the life of your dreams? You think about inception.

Kevin Aillaud :

If you guys have ever seen that movie Inception, Leonardo DiCaprio and like… I think Tom Hardy was in that movie. Yeah, Tom Hardy was in that movie. Great, great actors, a great cast, but great movie. The concept of it, it was very unique at the time. But think about Leonardo DiCaprio, his character was in the third layer down in his dream, with his wife, at the time. And they were creating, they were creating those sandcastles, and as they were creating sandcastles, they were actually going up in their dreams and in their world. I mean that literally, I mean you can do that literally. Not literally, like literally, like you’re building sandcastles and the things build up in your world, but that you literally create what you want. You want to make $100,000, you can do it. You want to make $1 million, you can do it. You want to make $10 million, you can do it. You just have to have a reason why.

Kevin Aillaud :

Because if you don’t have a reason why, then the effort that you will be putting into creating that, is not going to hold. You can do it, but you got to have a reason why. It’s all within your potential. There’s nothing that you can’t do, you just have to have a really compelling reason why for yourself. The results, the external results that I’m talking about, I think that goes without saying, you guys know what I mean by that. Creating external results, is that outward manifestation of what you call life. But the emotional experience, the quality, the emotional quality of life, when I say that, is that serving you? What I mean is, are you feeling the way you’re choosing to feel?

Kevin Aillaud :

Because, whatever the results are that you create, whatever the car you want to drive, whatever the country you want to live in, whatever the money you want to make, whatever the education you want to have, whatever the occupation you want to do, whatever the relationships you want to cultivate, that’s all that external stuff. How are you feeling? What is the emotional quality of your life? That’s what I mean by does it serve you? Now, here’s the thing again, there is the balance. We’ve talked a lot about emotional balance. We’ve talked a lot about that 50-50, or there’s some times you will want to deliberately have uncomfortable emotion, so that you can use that cellular vibration, to determine what is the emotional chemical that’s being released from the brain, due to the cognition that you’re having, that you’re choosing. If you’re feeling approaching anxiety, if you’re feeling anxiety, that is your cellular vibration telling you what your brain is telling you. Now, there’s nothing wrong with anxiety. There’s nothing wrong with a thought that’s creating anxiety.

Kevin Aillaud :

The question is, not whether the emotion you should be having, or shouldn’t be, having, not whether the emotion is good or bad. Not whether the emotion is right or wrong, because there’s a lot of my students… a lot of people in general are just like, “I don’t want to feel anxiety, anxiety is bad. I don’t want to feel it. I want to get rid of it. I always want to feel confident. I want to feel confident a 100% of the time.” But here’s the thing. It’s not that anxiety is bad. Anxiety is not bad, it’s not wrong, it’s not something you shouldn’t have. What it is, is a cellular vibration telling you what your brain is telling you. It’s giving you a clue, to what your brain is telling you about the neutral circumstance.

Kevin Aillaud :

So it’s not good or bad. It’s not right or wrong. It’s not whether you should be or shouldn’t be having it. It’s just, is that serving you? Whenever that thought is that you’re having, creating the anxiety, do you want to have that thought? What is the thought? Is it true do you want to have it? Because remember, thoughts are equal, part truth and lie. Thoughts are thoughts. They’re choices. They’re neither truth, they’re neither lie. They’re lies, if you don’t want to believe them. They’re lies if they don’t serve you, and they’re truths, if you do want to keep them, if they do serve you. So thoughts are equal part truth and lies. But the question is you have to find it. You have to get to it.

Kevin Aillaud :

The only way to get to it is through emotion. What are you feeling? You have to know what your body is telling you, coming from your brain. What are the cells in your body telling you, due to the chemical that was released from your brain? And that way you’ll know what you’re thinking, and then you get to decide, is that thought serving me? Do I want to feel this, the emotion coming from this thought, based on this neutral circumstance? And by feeling this, what are my actions? What are my results? Removing all the subjectivity, is what I mean when I say elevating your alpha. It’s removing all the subjectivity. Remove all the subjectivity around the way you think about the emotion, the emotion’s not good or bad. It’s not comfortable or uncomfortable. It’s not positive or negative.

Kevin Aillaud :

It’s just a cellular vibration. So when you elevate your alpha, from the emotional standpoint, you recognize that it is a message. It’s a message. That’s what it is. It should or shouldn’t. Because if you start telling yourself, I shouldn’t be feeling this, then you’re ignoring the message. You’re just trying to push the message away. You’re saying, “Forget the message, I don’t want to feel this. I shouldn’t be, only a beta person would feel this.” “Only a beta male would feel anxiety around talking to a woman. So in order for me to be alpha, I should just should not feel anxiety.” Wrong. That is wrong, my friend.

Kevin Aillaud :

And I’m not saying wrong like it’s wrong. I’m saying wrong because again, that’s my subjectivity. I’m telling you that that is not the definition that I’m using with alpha and beta. What I’m saying is, your alpha is you being aware of the anxiety, and using the anxiety to find out what your brain is telling you to do, in order to determine whether you want to continue to feel anxiety. And think that thought. That’s what I’m telling you. There’s nothing wrong with the anxiety itself, it’s just as the anxiety serve you. The emotional truth, the truth about emotion, is that number one, there’s no subjectivity in the feeling. It’s just a cellular vibration. But it’s also that these emotions, these emotions are what we are all after, is what we use to create our life, and what we are chasing with our life. Now, here’s the best news, and I’ve already said it many, many times, but here’s the best news, and I’m going to say it again, your emotion, how you feel is 100% in your control.

Kevin Aillaud :

The fear, the illusion, the suffering, comes from when we think our emotions are dictated by other people’s behavior. And that’s the beta condition. That’s the illusion. That’s like somebody else’s happiness, is required, for me to be happy. In order for me to give myself permission to be happy, somebody else has to be happy, and if they’re not happy, I have to do something to make them happy, and then we become the people pleaser. Then we have that happy wife, happy life, happy wife, happy life type of nonsense where, other people need to be happy in order for me to be happy. Wrong. That’s not correct. Your emotional truth, your emotional experience is 100% within your control, regardless of anybody else’s emotional experience. Regardless of how anybody else feels. And the power behind that brother, is that you are chasing emotion, you’re chasing emotion because you don’t want the result.

Kevin Aillaud :

You just want the way you think that result is going to make you feel, so the power is knowing that you could feel that way now, you can create your quality of life right now, with your cognition. That’s number one, but the other powerful piece behind all of this, is that the way you get the result you want, is through creating the feeling that you want to have in order to get it. To creating the feeling that you think you’re going to have when you have it, that’s the big move, It’s like, “Oh, I want to feel successful, so in order for me to feel successful, I need to get this business to operating at a $50,000 a year income. And until I do that, I’m not going to give myself permission to feel successful.” That’s the backwards. The emotional truth is that you can feel successful anytime. It has nothing to do with the outcome of your business. It has nothing to do with the results of your business. It has nothing to do with the bottom line. It has nothing to do with your income. It has to do with your cognition.

Kevin Aillaud :

You can feel successful now, and what I’m telling you is the emotional truth is not just that you have the power to create success in your body. Create that feeling of success, but it is through that feeling of success, that you’ll manifest the actions that will get you the results you’re looking for. And then through those results, you’ll reaffirm the beliefs that helped you create that feeling of success before you got the results that you wanted. It’s flipping everything upside down and backwards. That’s the emotional truth. And it’s not flipping everything upside down and backwards. What it is, is it’s showing you the way things really work. Right now, most of us just are flipped upside down and backwards. Most of us are flipped up in this illusion, and not understanding the way our brain and emotion, I would say our neuropharmacology works, to create for us, the feeling that drive our actions.

Kevin Aillaud :

It’s just that we don’t understand that. We don’t understand the model. We don’t understand the universal truth, but that is the emotional truth, brother. Circumstances are neutral. Thoughts are sentences. Actions are also neutral because our actions are other people’s circumstances, and other people’s actions are our circumstances. So A-line the of the model, is the same as the C-line of the model. For our actions, they just come from our emotions. Other people’s actions are completely neutral. So even the A-line, is neutral. Results are going to be neutral as well, but we’re going to subjectify them with our thoughts. So we have the C-line neutral, we have the T-line neutral, because it’s just a sentence. We’ve got the A-line neutral because that’s also just a circumstance. We got the R-line neutral because it’s not going to be anything until it loops back and reaffirms the original thought.

Kevin Aillaud :

But emotion, the F-line, that’s how we determine our quality of life. When people say, “Hey, how you are doing today?” It’s the F-line that we tell them, “I’m doing great.” Or, “I’m doing horribly.” We’re not talking about our circumstances, we think we’re talking about our circumstances, but we’re talking about how we feel always, 100%.

Kevin Aillaud :

So because of that, we want to do two things. Number one, we want to take back control of how we feel through our cognition, to the emotional truth, number two, we want to not subjective by our emotion so strongly, to beat ourselves up, if we’re feeling negative, which is going to drive unwanted actions, if I’m feeling jealous, if I’m feeling angry, then a lot of times my actions, if I am not processing those emotions, if I’m subjective by those emotions, and then moving through those, moving from that subjectivity into resistance, I shouldn’t be feeling that, feeling that is bad, or through avoidance, I don’t want to feel this, so I’m going to go buffer, but I’m going to go create a false dopamine, a false pleasure, or react, or we just become the emotion, we become unconscious with the emotion. That’s what happens when we subjectify the emotion. When we don’t subjectify the emotion, we process it and allow it to be there, then we can take action from that neutral space.

Kevin Aillaud :

But the emotional truth is that, whatever we’re after, and whatever it is that we’re doing, is always coming from an emotional drive. Our actions are driven by emotion, and our cognition is creating emotion. So, to wrap this up brothers, what does this mean? So what? Like, “So what coach, thanks for telling me something. How can I apply this?” Or how can you apply this, is this. Pay attention. Pay attention to how you feel. Because right now, there’s going to be a lot of you guys that are thinking that the reason why you feel the way you feel is because of your circumstances.

Kevin Aillaud :

Maybe you’re feeling afraid, because you’re thinking about your job, your income, your money. Maybe you’re feeling bored, because you’ve been in isolation, or at home. Maybe you’re feeling lonely, because you’re not around other people. That’s all illusion. Your emotions are not coming from your circumstances. Your emotions are not coming from your job, your money, you being in your home, without other people around. It’s none of that. It’s coming from your thoughts. And that is how this emotional truth, how this helps you, because now you can… Why are you bored? Not because you’re bored, and not because you’re not doing anything. It’s coming from your brain. It’s not a lack of activity, that’s making you bored. It’s not a lack of people, that’s making you lonely. It’s not not working, or change in the circumstances of your job, that’s creating fear around your future.

Kevin Aillaud :

It’s your thoughts. And all of that, is a message for you, to find out, whether you want to continue to feel that way or not. The biggest emotional truth is that, you never have to feel any way you don’t choose to, because your brain is telling you, you’re out of control, and your emotions are coming from your circumstance. That’s the lie. That’s the illusion. You never have to feel anything you don’t choose to. In fact, everything you are feeling you are choosing, with your brain. You may just not know you’re choosing it, because your brain is telling you that you’re not choosing it. Your brain is telling you it’s coming from your circumstances, but it’s not. That is the elevation of the alpha. The elevation of the alpha is the recognition of your power.

Kevin Aillaud :

The recognition that you are in control. The knowledge, and application, of all of the things that you can control simultaneously, not giving any more mental effort or space to the things you can’t control, which is the behavior of other people, what happened in the past, and all the circumstances that are happening now, that you don’t have control of, like the weather, like COVID. You can’t do anything about it, it is what it is. But you can control your thoughts and emotions and actions around it. Same thing with everything else. You can’t control that the markets changed, that people are pulling their money out of the market. People’s actions. You can’t control people’s actions. That includes the actions of whatever is happening with your job too. If there’s decisions coming down from superiors, that certain people are going to be going home, working from home, on furlough, laid off, whatever that is, that’s all out of your control.

Kevin Aillaud :

What you can control is your thoughts, feelings, and actions. That will determine your results, not what other people are deciding right now, in terms of how they decided pull their money out of the market, or how they have decided to cut back on their employees. None of that is in your control. It doesn’t matter. You don’t need to control that. If you think you need to control that, that’s the illusion. And some of you may be actually right now resisting even what I’m telling you. They’ll be like, “Yeah, but coach, I need to control my job, because it has to do with my money, and my livelihood and all this.” You do control that. You do control that. That’s what I’m telling you.

Kevin Aillaud :

Your brain is telling you that you don’t, because your circumstances have changed, and you feel out of control, but you do control them, because you get to determine your actions, through your emotions, from your thoughts. And your thoughts are in combination, in summation, the story you tell yourself about yourself and your purpose and your value, and what you’re creating in the world. If all of those stories, if all of those identities are wrapped up in that job, then yes, the story is going to change, and you are going to feel out of control and helpless. But you are in control of those stories. You’re in control of those thoughts. And that is the emotional truth. Guys, that’s what I’ve got for you today.

Kevin Aillaud :

Look, if you have any questions on this, and I know some of you will, I know some of you do have questions on this, I know some of you are listening to this, you’re like, “Hey coach, all of this stuff that’s happening, these major transitions that are happening in my life, all these changing circumstances, they all seem like they’re coming against me, they all seem like I’m going through down point in my life, they all seem like everything’s happening, it’s all negative.” If that’s what your brain is telling you, I have suggestions for you. I have things to offer you. I can tell you that none of the circumstances in your life are happening to you. They are all happening for you. Your brain has convinced you that they’re happening to you, and it might be difficult to get out of that subjectivity. If it is difficult to get out of that subjectivity, I offer you to sign up, book a call, 45 minute, right now they’re free.

Kevin Aillaud :

I’m going to tell you guys, this it is, and mark my words, this is Wednesday. We’re in April 2020, I’m telling you that these free consultations are not going to last forever guys. Thus, The Elevated Alpha Society grows as a spot and it [inaudible 00:29:06] these consultation calls they’re not going to last forever. If you have any curiosity around Causal Coaching, if you want help, looking at what’s going on in your life, if you want to see more objectively, what’s happening in your life so that you can choose a subjectivity that will serve you better, sign up for a free consultation call. Eventually these consultation calls, they’ll still be there, but eventually I’ll start charging for them, so if you want to take advantage of this now, sign up for a call.

Kevin Aillaud :

That being said, you don’t need to sign up for a call to enroll in the spot-ons. You can in the spot-ons right now, and start doing the work that you can do. You have the power, you have the tools to start doing the work that will begin to change your life forever. It doesn’t matter if you’re in your 20s, if you’re in your 30s, if you’re in your 40s, your thoughts, are choices that you can change, and choose right now. And until Friday, we talk about the abundant truth. Elevate your alpha.

Speaker 2:

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve heard, and want even more, sign up for Unleash Your Alpha, your guide to shifting to the alpha-mindset, @thealphamalecoach.com/unleash.

 

By |2020-05-07T13:32:42-07:00April 15th, 2020|Podcast|0 Comments

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