Welcome back, brothers, to The Alpha Male Coach podcast. In today’s episode, I’m going to be delving into the concept of transformation and the process of inner self-discovery. I will be sharing the concept of the momentous leap and how it applies to the self, transformation, and society. First, we must remember that everything is created from an idea, that it always comes from a concept, imagination, and inspiration. However, the only way we can communicate and manifest this idea is by using spoken or written language. This is why the concept of the story is essential for communication.

Today, I’ll unpack why it is that we can only reach understanding and true communication when we meet on the same level at the same time. Listening is an art form, my brothers. When your real attention is being given to something and you are in a receptive state of mind, you can achieve understanding with clarity. Unfortunately, many of us listen through our own beta conditioning. This means we don’t listen with our belief system. Instead, we listen with prejudice through our conditioning. This causes confusion in many of us and we often turn to the beliefs of external authorities to alleviate that confusion. This is the trap that I will be addressing today, brothers, because when you repeat someone else’s ideas and somebody else’s truth, you cease to understand your own alpha state.

By appealing to external authorities, what we are really looking for is escape from confusion. When we do this, the inner authority loses significance and it is the outer systems that gain power and importance, which ultimately creates more confusion and suffering. We seek to escape through many things, like religion, work, or social activities. These are false realities. The truth is that there is no external authority. This is the transformation from the beta condition to the alpha state, the understanding is that there is nothing to seek. This is why today I will explain why there is nothing outside of you that will ever provide you with truth. I invite you to join me today as we shine a light on the metamorphic transformation that is possible for each of us and is the true evolution of our species!

Want to know more about what I do and how I can help you? Sign up for a free 45-minute session with me, and I’ll show you how this works!

What Youll Learn from This Episode:

  • The singularity that everything is a story.
  • The concept of the momentous leap and transformation
  • How to achieve true communication.
  • Why listening without bias is an art form.
  • The words of external authorities cannot solve your confusion.
  • How to become aware of your conditioning and your confusion.
  • Giving more value to the senses creates confusion and misery.
  • There is no external authority.
  • Why transformation means freedom.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:


ANNOUNCER: Welcome to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast, the only podcast that teaches men the cognitive mastery and alpha mindset that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence. Here’s your host, certified life coach and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud.


[0:00:32.6] KA: What’s up, my brothers? Welcome back to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. I am your host, Kevin Aillaud. Today I’m going to give you something that may be a catalyst for transformation, I’m going to talk about some things that make it a little wild because I’m really going to go deep into the foundations of really what I do in the academy, what I do with the academy, what I’m going to be teaching students to do with other students, whether they work at the academy or whether they go out and run their own businesses using the methodology that I use.

I’m going to give you guys this process, this process of transformation or this process of inner self-discovery. It’s something that again, we do it at the academy and I usually don’t get into it in this way in the podcast. Usually I talk about concepts or I talk about some way you can apply some concepts. This, I’m just going to really speak to you as if I was speaking to a student. 

We’re going to talk about the momentous leap, we’re going to talk about in a very metamorphic way. It is a momentous leap is this, is not a subtle difference, this is not a this for a that. We’re not trading one for the other because it is neither this or that. 

What it is where you go deeper within, it’s nothing external. We go deeper within to discover what it is. We begin with the singularity that everything is a story. We begin here, this is where everything comes from.

[0:01:51.1] Of course, we know everything comes from a thought. Everything is created from an idea, from a concept, from an imagination, from inspiration. However, in order to communicate that thought, in order to manifest the idea, in order to bring it from the invisible to the visible, there must be the word.

There must be the story, there must be the communication, there must be the spoken and/or written language. Right away brothers, as you know, this presents a very fundamental issue that to communicate with each other, even if we know each other very well, even if we are family, even if we are very good friends to communicate with each other, one human being to another is extremely difficult because there is this telephone game, right?

There’s this telephone game, right? There is a telephone game and I may use words that to you have a significant different than to me and that’s a lot of what coaching is because the idea of understanding, we can reach understanding when we, when two humans, when you and I meet on the same level at the same time. That can only happen when there is true communication between people.

That is real communion, instantaneous understanding comes when we meet on the same level at the same time. That’s communication. This telephone game does make it difficult to communicate with each other easily or effectively. I’ll use words that are not technical because I don’t think that I need to use technical words to discuss this concept and you don’t need to have any education in these concepts like psychology, neuroscience, any of the sciences whether it’s cellular biology or the neurosciences.

[0:03:20.2] You don’t have to have any education in spirituality to understand the concept of transformation or the momentous leap. I want to offer that you understand the concept of simply listening the way I listen as a coach because it’s not about having more knowledge, it’s not about just having more education, it’s not about having more information. 

It’s about listening and it will help you to understand how to communicate with other human beings by understanding through understanding and meeting them at the same level, at the same time because listening is really an art form, it’s really – it has to do, not with the act of listening of what’s being said but the state of being you’re in, when you’re hearing what’s being said and to abandon all prejudices, abandon all thoughts, abandon all beliefs, abandon all your conditioning when you listen.

When you are in a receptive state of mind, things can be easily understood because you are listening, when your real attention is given to something. Unfortunately, most of us don’t do that, most of us just listen through our own beta conditioning, we don’t listen without our belief system, we don’t listen without our prejudice, we don’t listen without our conditioning.

We listen with all that, we listen through all that. We’re not listening to what’s being said, we cannot hear the words or the intention or the concept or the idea it’s being said, all we hear is the stories, our own story that our brain is telling us through our own conditioning, we are conditioned with this training, this beliefs that can be religious, they can be spiritual, they can be psychological, they can be ideological, they can be even science based, even our sciences are a story that can condition us to have belief systems, to have prejudices.

[0:05:02.5] If they are not opinions then our mind simply runs out or mine simply runs the beta condition and if they’re not running that, if they’re not running these belief systems, these things that we think we know then its fallback is worry, desire, fear, anxiety.

I’m just going to run, I’m going to ruminate on thoughts that create worry, desire, fear and anxiety. With these conditions, this is how we see the world. This is how we format, this is a formatting our conditioning for us to receive and process the story from when other people attempt to communicate with us.

We’re never really listening to each other, we’re only really listening to our own story, we’re only listening to our own conditioning, our own sound, not to what’s really being said. It is extremely difficult my friends, to put aside that conditioning to put aside that training, that conditioning and those prejudices, those opinions and to go to beyond any verbal expression and have a direct experience with another human being, by listening so that we understand instantaneously by meeting them at the same level, at the same time and this is what coaching is all about.

This is what guidance is all about and that skill is going to be one of our difficulties in personal transformation brother, this is why I teach it at the academy and at the coach certification program because it’s a barrier in personal transformation because it is through a relationship that we transform and through relationship that we discover ourselves and become more of who we are.

[0:06:24.4] When it comes to transformation brothers, one thing I want to offer, I will think that we can say that everyone is aware without too much going into, without too much describing of it that there is an individual suffering that human beings as individuals are suffering and then there is also a collective suffering as a species, there’s this collective misery, confusion, spiritual and physical.

Now the old way, with the old problems, our old solutions to the oldest problems was that when we have a form of confusion, when we have a form of suffering and it doesn’t matter what it is, it can be political, it can be spiritual, it can be social, if there’s some kind of suffering then our whole being becomes confused and we turn to the leaders.

We turn to the leaders, we turn to the political leaders, we turn to the religious leaders and we look at this and all of the books that have been written and all of the guidance that has been given and all of the structures that have been created, all the systems that have been formed and we look at this and we try to find the escape. We try to find that thing, that quality of truth that have become nothing more than prison cells. Nothing more than barriers that are keeping us from totality. 

You yourself are the repeater of the words, are the confused and the uncertain, I’m going to do a podcast on certainty because especially with what’s happened in the last decade, between 2020 and now, there’s all of this uncertainty and the mere repetition of these words. They don’t do anything, there’s this words after words, there’s these books, there’s these things, there’s these systems, there’s these formats, there’s these follow this, do this, eat this way, live that way, wakeup at this time, follow this routine, this is the diet, this is the workout, this is the lifestyle, this is the calendar, this is the everything.

[0:08:08.9] Everything is so conditioned, everything is coming from all aspects, from everywhere, we have all people now. An expert of all things and every single human being is out there, adding to the uncertainty, adding to the confusion, adding to the repetition of words and it just becomes propaganda, it just becomes lost in the noise.

It is not the truth, it is not your truth, it may be someone’s truth but it is not your truth. It is not there for you to make a full transformation into who you are because when you repeat somebody else’s concept, somebody else’s idea, somebody else’s lifestyle, somebody else’s truth, you have stopped understanding your own state. You just stopped understanding your own alpha state, you are now in the state of being conditioned by their choice of conditioning.

You’re just covering with words of authority your own confusion. You’re confused and you’re taking out somebody else’s conditioning to escape from that confusion but what we all are really trying to do in the human condition is understand this confusion. We don’t want to just cover it up with somebody else’s conditioning.

If we just cover it up with somebody else’s conditioning, with somebody else’s response, with somebody else’s – we escape from it with somebody else’s plan, somebody else’s journey or path then we’re simply adding to the confusion. We’re adding to the uncertainty as we postpone it, by attempting to live someone else’s life. The goal brothers is to be aware of it, be aware of it, to follow it, the thought that is active within you, the mind, the consciousness that runs through you as you hear my words.

[0:09:42.3] Because my words are circumstances, most of us are accustomed. We are sort of trained to be spectators, we’re trained to be watchers, we’re trained to be observers, we’re not trained to partake in the game. We’re trained to read the books.

How many of us are taught to write the books? It has become our role, our habit to be watchers, to be spectators, to look on the sideline, to watch the athletes, to watch the politicians. We feel as we are outsiders looking on and we’ve lost the creative capacity because we don’t know who we are. 

We are not connected to our own alpha state, we become homogenized through the conditioning of being a part of the masses and so instead of breaking apart and being ourselves, we simply observe. We simply spectate, we simply sit in the bleachers and watch our lives pass us by.

If you are doing that, if you are just observing brother, if you are just spectating, you are going to lose the significance of what I’m telling you because this is not for you to just sit and to just kind of absorb through the words, through the story that your brain is telling you about the way you see the world.

[0:10:55.5] I’m trying to give you something completely different. This is not something we can just find information on, this is not about information, this is about knowledge, this is about wisdom. We want to know, we want to know what are the thoughts, what is the conditioning, what is happening in the mind, how far can we go, how deeply can we penetrate the conditioning, the training, the repetitive belief system, the story, the words.

That’s what it is, it’s everything is a story, how deep can we go, how far can we experiment the self. How deeply can we go into the self to find and discover the truth and when you do this, find out that your response is to the cause, it’s to the suffering.

Not what somebody else’s words are but what are yours because if you say, “Well, somebody else did this or somebody else did that” then it’s still you covering up, it’s still you getting in there wanting to be saved. Your responses are one of indifference if you benefit by the suffering. 

If you derive profit from it, then you’re benefiting from it. Then your mind is continuous in the chaos, it’s continues to be chaotic. This is buffering, this is why when we buffer, we get into that chaos of the mind. The mind begins to profit, the mind begins to benefit, it begins to receive the dopamine, it begins receiving the desire.


[0:12:07.9] Now, the thoughts are repetitive and that’s the whole idea behind buffering, that’s the whole idea behind escaping in general because of the chaos of the mind. The chaos of the conditioning, the chaos of being conditioned to living a not you life. As you do that, there will be more trouble, there will be more chaos externally.

It will move from the individual, from you to the collective. Then there will be confusion in the world which will rebound back and we will seek safety from the confusion that we created from our own individual cognition. It begins in us psychologically and in every way.

Then, we send it into the collective, into the world for us to bounce back and then we seek security. We seek security in bank account, we seek security in a political ideology, we say, “This is the belief, this is the way, we do this and we will all be okay. We seek security in our bank account and we say, “I have this much money that I am free.” We equate freedom with money, this is an escape. We are escaping the moment when we do this because we say I can be free in the future.

I’m not here in the now so we are constantly in that escaping. There’s always the escape, the escape to money, there’s the escape into the belief system, there’s the escape into the religion or the spirituality, it is escaping from what is happening in the world. This is always happening because the more confusion there is, the more we seek external, the more we seek outer authority.

[0:13:30.9] Somebody who will guide us out of the mess, some leader who will take us and so we turn to the books, we turn to the teachers, we turn to the gurus, we turn to the political leaders and then we ask them to respond according to the system, which appears to solve the problems but the system itself is the solution to the old problem in creating the new problem. 

The moment we are aware of this confusion, that’s when we try to escape from it. That’s when the buffering begins, that’s when it all happens and whatever it is that we’re escaping to, then those systems or those institutions, those become the authorities. The systems become the authority, they become the philosophy, they become the idea, they become what is important not you, not your alpha state, not who you are, not the discovery of the self and so it’s the external. 

We escape to the external, the external has the authority so we observe. We see this is what is happening, we are escaping ourselves seeking the external that has no authority that is neutral. It is raw data everything outside. We put importance on it, we put value on it but the system is what becomes important and when the system becomes important then human beings lose their significance. 

The value of the inner authority loses significance and it is the system that has the power. It is the system that takes the control and that’s what creates the suffering. That’s what creates the confusion and that is the cause, the cause of the confusion, the cause of the misery. How does this misery come about? How does it come, inwardly or outwardly? Does it come outward? It can’t come outwardly because it begins with the inwardly. 

[0:15:00.8] This fear, this expectation of things happening, what is the cause of it? I’m going to tell you, I am going to give it to you brothers, the cause of the confusion, the cause of the misery is giving more and more significance to the values of the sense. What that means is that when you are engaging with the circumstance, when you are engaging with the world and you are giving value, you are giving significance to the neutral things that are happening then you’re going to begin to enter into that illusion and that illusion will breathe confusion. 

Being in confusion, when you are there, when you are in the illusion and you begin to know because you have the confusion, you have given value. You’ll be giving value and significance to your senses, to what you see, to what you hear, to what you smell and again, it is not what you are seeing or hearing or touching or tasting or anything else, it is what you’re thinking about it. 

It’s the stories, it’s the conditioning but when you’re applying that to the external, when you are applying that to the circumstance, you will bring confusion. You will bring that suffering and then you will try to escape from it through these things, through these external forms. Now again, it could be anything. It can be buffering, we’ve talked about buffering and the individual escape but as collective, what humans do is we escape through authority. 

We escape through spirituality, through religion, through economic, through social groups. We escape through work, through ambition, through power. We escape through all of these false realities, through all of these illusions and the truth is that there is nothing out there. There is no external authority. This is the transformation. This is the transformation from the beta condition to the alpha state is that there is nothing to seek. 

[0:16:47.8] There is nothing outside of you that will ever provide you with truth. Truth is in what is, it is right in front of you all the time and that’s the beauty of it but it is also within you all the time and that is the wisdom of it but the moment you understand it, the moment you look for it, the moment you try to find it outside of you, the moment you seek truth, you will begin to struggle because that is where you will enter into the illusion of confusion. 

That is why we have to be still, that is why we have to observe the mind just be aware of what the mind, what is the story telling us, what is the conditioning so that we can begin to see past it, see over it, see beyond it and we will see that our manifesting, our demonstrating, our actions is always going to be in that way of confusion. We do at present times see this confusion, we see this inner, this inner struggle, this inner suffering, this inner sorrow and happiness. 

Creating the external, creating the collective. We look at our own life, we see that this is how we live and entropies apart of the reality, destruction follows from the wake of living. As we live, we leave behind us a wake of destruction if everything moves towards entropy. This is what’s taking place, this is the natural order of the exterior world of duality. This cannot be stopped. This is not something that creates misery. 

This is just what is but can the confusion, can the sorrow be stopped? Can we stop suffering from the way we think about what is? Certainly, there are those who say yes, you accept faith and you make yourselves free from this confusion and sorrow but it doesn’t stop the sorrow on the collective scale. It doesn’t stop the suffering, it doesn’t stop the conditioning on a collective. It only happens at an individual, at an individual level when you yourself, you do the work to expose the conditioning. 

[0:18:45.1] To stop escaping what is and recognize the conditioning as it is so you can begin the process of deconditioning. It doesn’t begin as a collective, it doesn’t begin outside of us. The society, the results, the community doesn’t change before the individual. It is the individual that makes this transformation. It is the individual that has to make this transformation because it is the individual transformation that changes the collective. 

The confusion will go on. You see, the suffering will go on in the collective even as the individual goes beyond it because that is the nature of the collective. The collective has to come after the individual. Where are we brothers, where does this leave us? How is this possible, right? How is it possible? Because again, this is what we do in the academy. This is what I do as a coach and what I teach and what I teach coaches to do and what I do with my students. 

My students I think have an understanding of this skill as well is how is it possible to come to that state where you yourself, you not the conditioned you, not the not you that thinks it’s you but you yourself perceive the truth of who you are instantaneously and can put an end to this confusion, that can put an end to this suffering. It is possible, there is a way and it can be done and I believe it must be done. 

It must be done for our species to evolve because it begins with the individual and moves to the collective to bring about this momentous leap, to have this momentous leap where there is not just this idea where we shift one for the other, right? Where we’re moving one piece for the next piece, right? I am not talking about changing Rebooks and putting on Nikes, right? 

I am not talking about changing Rebooks to Nikes or going from republican to democrat leadership in the United States. In the United States, we have these two-party system and I am not talking about a change of a party. I am talking about a momentous, a magnanimous, a metamorphic transformation, which is the true evolution of our species. 

[0:20:39.4] Society by itself is non-existent brothers. Remember that circumstances are neutral. Society is what we make it. Society is a collection of the individual. It is the sum of the parts, it is by itself nada, it does not exist. Society is what you and I, we’re all humans in our relationship create. It is what we choose it to be, it is the outward projection of all of our inward psychological states. 

If our psychological states are confused then what will we project into our society? We’ll project confusion, we’ll have a confused society. If we have an energized society, then the citizens, the individuals of that society have an energized psychological state. It comes from the individual, the individual creates the society. 

If you and I do not understand ourselves, if we don’t understand who we are ourselves not each other but ourselves and we’re just trying to be something different, we’re just trying to follow some path, we’re just trying to follow some book that somebody wrote because it says, “This is what you must do” “this is how you run a business” “this is how you develop this lifestyles, this is the pattern, this is the calendar.” 

We are just trying to change the outer or change the habits, which is the projection of the end or which is the projection of who we are or our thoughts, it has no significance whatsoever, right? There could be no significant alteration or modification in behavior in society, so as long as I don’t understand myself in relationship to one, which is you. 

[0:22:00.9] One person, being confused in my relationships, I will always create a society that is a replica, that is an exact copy of the outward expression of that, which I am. This is the universal truth brothers, our thoughts become our results. Our thoughts become our society. This is an obvious fact, this is the universal truth. 

I have talked about this at length, there is so many podcast out there as we can discuss whether society, whether that’s outward expression, whether that’s outward group of cells and molecules, whether this has produced me or whether I have produced it, I think it’s pretty clear. I think it is almost an obvious fact. 

What is not fact however, what is not obvious is that when I am in my relationship with other people, I’m creating society in that if I don’t make a metamorphic change, if I don’t take momentous leap in my own cognition. Now, I’m talking about the man in the mirror and if I don’t take this momentous leap in my own cognition then there will be no change. There will be no transformation in the essential functions of society because it must begin with me. 

When we look at a system, when we look at an idea to change a society, to transform the outer, which is avoiding the question because a system cannot transform a human being. A human being always transforms the system, this is historically accurate and until I and my relationship with you understand myself as the cause of my own suffering, I am the cause of my individual suffering and I’m the cause of the collective suffering. 

[0:23:29.7] I am the cause of the collective chaos, misery, fear, confusion, doubt, worry, understanding myself is not a matter of time. I can understand myself at this very moment brothers. You can do it right now. You can only do it now, you don’t do it by looking at your past. You don’t do it by creating your future. If I say I’m going to understand myself tomorrow, then all I’m doing is I’m bringing in the chaos and the misery of not being in the today. 

The moment that I say, “I will understand” is I bring in that time element, which is exactly an illusion. That itself is confusion because I’m already caught up. I’m already caught up in the next. I’m not here, I’m there. There is no transformation unless you are right here so we must begin with the presence. We must begin with presence, we must begin with the perfection of the moment. We understand in the moment. 

Brothers, when I coach my students I am with them in the moment. I shut down all of my personal beliefs, all of my thoughts, all of my judgments and my students know this. My students know that they can say anything. There can be anything said, there is no judgment. There is total vulnerability because I have no – I don’t bring my personal beliefs, my personal thoughts. I don’t bring my conditioning into the relationship. 

To do that, we have to be in the moment to understand, to meet other humans, to meet each other at the right place and the right time, we have to be in that moment. It is the only place we could be, we cannot be yesterday, we cannot be tomorrow. Tomorrow is for the lazy mind, it’s the mind that’s not interested in what’s happening now. When you are interested in something, you do it now. It’s here, it’s in the moment. You’re with it. 

[0:25:03.7] That’s passion, you have that. There’s understanding, there is transformation. If you don’t do it now, you’ll never do it. That’s what I’m saying because in the moment, there is passion. Tomorrow, there is no passion, “I’ll do it later. I’ll get to it” that’s for the lazy mind. It’s the slow mind, the mind that’s not interested. The mind that is interested, the mind that is passionate, it takes action. It’s in the moment, that’s where understanding is. 

That’s where transformation begins and transformation can only take place immediately in the moment. It is happening now. When this happens, brothers, when this happens you are completely free. This is freedom, it has nothing to do with money. It has to do with transformation because when this happens and you are completely without a problem, then you are free. There is no worry, there is no doubt. You have faith and you have freedom and that is the alpha state. 

That’s what I got for you this week brothers. I will see you next week and until then, elevate your alpha. 


[0:26:06.6] ANNOUNCER: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Alpha Male Coach Podcast. If you enjoyed what you’ve heard and want even more, sign up for Unleash your Alpha: Your guide to shifting to the alpha mindset, at the alphamalecoach.com/unleash.