Ep #278: A Confession of Faithlessness

Welcome to 2024, my brothers. The last few episodes of the year were a little heavy, I know, so today, I’m taking it easy on you. Today, it’s all about storytelling. In this episode, you’ll hear my confession of faithlessness.

Before I tell you this story, it’s important to reframe the commonly held definition of faith. When people think about faith, they tend to think about religion, believing in things they can’t see, and anthropomorphized deities, which is to say gods with human characteristics. That is not the kind of faith I’m talking about. When I talk about faith, I mean knowing, being, and resonating with the fact that everything is love. Everything is one. Everything is safe and perfect.

Now, not only will you learn about the bonafide miracle that served as an important lesson in faith for me, but I’ll also tell you how faithlessness can manifest itself in the outcome of your attachments using my brother’s fear of losing his job as an example. Remember, brothers, the universe wants what you want because what you want is love. You already have everything you think you want. It is already right here.

To hear my confession of faithlessness and the story of the miracle that reminded me not to force my attachments into being, that helped me dissolve the illusion of ‘I’, and trust in the indestructible truth of who we really are, be sure to tune in today.


What Youll Learn from This Episode:

  • Redefining faith: it isn’t about religion or anthropomorphic deities.
  • The fear and faithlessness that can manifest itself in the outcome of your attachments.
  • A story that illustrates that you already have everything you think you want.
  • Why “I” is simply a label assigned to the combination of your body, speech, and mind.
  • How miracles serve as reminders of the indestructible truth that everything is love.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:


[0:00:09.3] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast, the only podcast that teaches men the cognitive mastery and alpha mindset that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence. Here’s your host, certified life coach and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud.


[0:00:33.3] KA: What’s up, my brothers? Welcome back to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. I am your host, Kevin Aillaud, and welcome to 2024. We made it, we rounded another year and we’re in a whole lot. I mean, it’s wild because it’s still now. Like, that’s the thing that gets me. It’s like, it’s still now but it’s never not now but I know that these dates and times and seasons and years, it’s a way to mark.

You know, we’re marking time, we’re mark – really, what we’re marking is, how much closer we’re getting to death. Either how much closer we’re getting to death or how much further away we’re getting from birth, right? And that’s really the way most of us look at time. To be quite honest with you, when I talk to my students that’s really the way they look at it. It’s like, “I’m getting older, I’m getting older, I’m running out of time, I’m running out of time.”

You know, they’re comparing themselves to other people, what other people have done or what other people have or where the people are, and they’re looking at that and looking at time this way. It’s very fascinating, it’s a very fascinating thing, and it’s always now, it’s always now. There’s never any other time than now. If you’re really, really still and really, really quiet, and you’ll notice, you’ll feel this, you’ll hear this, you understand this, all we have is now.

Now brothers, today, I’m just going to – I’m going to hit you with some really light stuff because I know that the last few episodes have been really heavy. I know that the last few episodes have probably been a little bit much, they might have taken your mind for a little bit of a loop de loop, they might have even triggered you quite a bit.

In fact, I might have lost half of my audience with the last few episodes on karma because you know, I said some pretty wild things, and I know I said some pretty wild things. It’s part of what I do, is I say some things that you probably have never heard before because if you’ve heard them before, then you just – it’s just a part of what everybody else is saying.

[0:02:27.4] This is the part of the conditioning out there. Part of my role here, part of my Dharma here is to not let that stuff fly, is to not let the status quo continue to be the status quo, is to agitate change and whatever that means, and if that means agitating everyone of your, you know, triggering every one of your egos and that’s what I got to do. But today I’m going to do something a little bit different.

Today, I’m just going to tell you guys a couple of stories and tell you – it’s kind of a confession, to be honest with you because one of them is about my brother, you know, what something I was able to observe, and one of them is a confession of my own faithlessness. You know, what’s so important is to know that what faith is. You know, faith is not a religious thing as people probably think.

You know, faith, they think about faith, they think about religion, they think about, “Oh, I have to believe in things I don’t see, I need to have to have faith.” Faith, faith in this, faith that there is something out there guiding me, something out there watching me, something out there that’s in some way anthropomorphic, right? Which is to say, it has human characteristics.

That’s one of the big issues, I guess I would say, that we have with modern religion or religion in general, is that they anthropomorphize deities. They anthropomorphize God, if it’s a monotheistic religion, then it’s still anthropomorphized. Then this monotheistic, this one God, he’s got all these human attributes. It’s all over the New Testament and it’s rife in the church as well, it’s all in the New Testament as well.

And that’s not actually there but people will interpret it that way. People interpret it that way because they don’t understand the language of the culture of which these texts were written and the anthropomorphizing of the polytheism too, of the multi-God. It’s whether it’s Hinduism or you know, the Greeks, you know, the Greek god, they have all their gods after the planets and the Romans, same type of thing, they’re all anthropomorphized.

[0:04:14.5] They all have these human characteristics. You know, when you have the word – stories of Mount Olympus and these gods were up there and you know, the god of war and the god of wisdom or the goddess actually, the goddess of wisdom, and the god of communication, you know, Apollo or Mercury, which is the same god whether you’re a Roman or a Greek.

Zeus, you know, Zeus and Jupiter, it’s the same god whether you’re a Roman or a Greek, you know, it’s very fascinating but they’re all anthropomorphized, you know? These gods came down, they had, you know, they had sex with mortal women and created these demigods like Hercules and Achilles and you know, they’re stories. They’re mythologies but the issue here is that it’s all mythology, you know?

It’s all tell us, it’s all trying to teach us unity, it’s all trying to teach us oneness through story, through mythology. Even the mystics, even the masters, even the Buddha, even the Christ, even you know, the Krishna, even the men and women that have come here and have been examples of living without karma, you know, attachment. I don’t want to say attachment, it’s so difficult to explain these masters, these beings because men they were, right?

Men and women, they were, but we have so much mythology around them that they’ve actually become these superhuman deities, you know, these super gods that now we worship in some way, which is in many ways, a form of idolatry. But to have faith, to truly have faith is not about believing in an anthropomorphic deity, whether it’s monotheism or polytheism. I have faith in God the Father, or I have faith in Yahweh, or have faith in Zeus and Apollo will save me and you know, Athena will – she’ll bring me wisdom and you know, Mars will help me be victorious in battles and challenges and all these things.

It’s not – that’s not the kind of faith I’m talking about. When I talk about faith, brothers, what I’m talking about is to know, and knowing maybe not be the right word because knowing implies in some way, knowledge, right? Implies that in some way, the use of mind or intellect or ego but to have this deep sense of – it’s like a being. There’s a knowing, there’s a being, there’s a vibration, there’s a resonance that everything is one.

That everything is love, that everything is in unity and wholeness and completion and totality, everything is protected, everything is safe, everything is okay, everything is perfect.

[0:06:47.8] You know, all of these things and I’ve said to you, that’s the faith. I’m going to tell you a couple of stories that demonstrate this, that demonstrate not just faith, not just the truth of unity, the truth of oneness, the truth of protection and safety but also, in some ways, my own faithlessness. You know, I want – I’m going to throw myself under the bus here but not before I throw my brother under the bus.

But my brother doesn’t listen to this podcast anyway, so it’s okay, I’m going to tell his story. I don’t think he’d mind because he and I have talked about it before and we’ve laughed about it before and we’ve laughed about it quite a bit. So, I mean, 2023, last year, I left Tulum in August 4th and I went back to Oregon to be with my family for a little bit. My brother, my sister, and my mom lives there too, my niece, my sister-in-law.

I call her my sister, I don’t like the whole “in-law” thing, it’s my brother’s wife and I went there and I’ve gotten there and almost immediately, my brother, “lost his job.” He’s like, “I lost my job, I got laid off.” Now, fascinatingly enough, my brother has always been afraid of losing his job, he’s one of those guys that no matter – the reason why he chooses to over-perform in his work is because he’s afraid that he’ll become obsolete and that he’ll lose his job.

And of course, this sphere comes from the lack of sustenance, it comes from a fear of lack of money. He is terrified of not having money. Money is his thing, it’s kind of his – as the Buddha says it, it would be his adherence. It’s what he’s here to learn, you know, the greed, the attachment, he’s very attached to money. So, he’s always concerned about not having money, even though you know, both of my parents had done quite well for themselves, and our inheritance will be a substantial amount of wealth.

And he also, because of his job and he’s working and what he does, he has amassed a – in my opinion, a substantial amount of wealth as well. So, there’s no basis for this fear, no basis whatsoever but he has it nonetheless and so because of this, when he’s in his job, no matter what job it is for as long as I’ve known him, and he’s in his 40s now as well, quite close in age, as long as he’s been employed, he’s always been nervous.

He’s always been worried about losing his job, so much so that while he’s in his job, he will look for other jobs. You know, it’s a wild thing. Like, he’ll always be putting out these little feelers. “You know, if I lose this job, well, I have another one, if I lose this job, will I have another one, if I lose this job, can I go here, can I go there, can I get a place in this?” And in some ways, as you guys may know, in some ways that actually manifests that outcome.

[0:09:22.2] It kind of – it’s kind of like telling the universe, “Hey, like, I don’t want to be here, I’d rather be there, I’d rather be there” It’s very confusing to the energy because again, the energy is one, the energy wants – he wants to bring you back to unity, bring you back to love. The universe wants what you want, okay? That’s what you guys need to know, the universe wants what you want because what you want is love.

What you want is to be at one, what you want to be in ecstasy, you want to be in pleasure, you want to be in bliss, you want to be in oneness, you want to be in heaven, you want to be in Nirvana, the universe wants that too, that’s what this whole thing is about. This whole thing is about getting us back to Nirvana, back to heaven, back to the Garden of Eden, back to unity, back to oneness with God.

Unity with God and its pleasure, it’s bliss, I mean, it’s ecstasy, brothers. Like, so, whatever you think you want, is not in the world, right? It’s – the world is a part of the dream, it’s a part of the illusion that keeps you distracted from knowing that you always have it. That it’s always right here, that everything is exactly as it’s meant to be, this is the place, like this is heaven.

So, it’s very confusing to the universe when my brother does these things when he’s got this great job that is providing him with the safety net that he thinks he needs, you know, this money, this resource, whatever, this paper, and at the same time, he’s out there looking for other jobs, it’s very confusing. So, in some ways, he’s kind of manifesting that.

He’s kind of creating this sense of lack where the universe says, “Okay, well, if you’re going to keep looking, then we’re going to put you in a situation where you get what you ask for” you know? Ask and you shall receive and so, I went back to Oregon and within a couple of weeks, like, for the first time, I mean, he had this job for about a decade but he – he got laid off, and now, here’s the thing with my brother.

My brother is, he doesn’t really know himself and I, again, I love my brother very much. Like, I love him, like, love-love-love. I love all of you. I love all of you, every one of you, every single one of you. I love you, okay?

[0:11:26.7] And I love my brother, and I love to watch him even in his neurosis, even in his insanity, you know? I love him, not in spite of it but including it, right? Because that’s a part of who he is and I love him and he will tell people, right? Because he’s one of these churchgoers, he’s a churchgoer, he goes to church. So, you know, in the church, they teach you, you know, fear not, you know, God has your back and trust in Jesus and all of these things.

So, you know, he’ll tell people, “Everything’s okay, I’m fine. I’m not worried, everything’s good, God will provide.” That’s what he says and then his behavior is, I mean, within – like the first day. In fact, this is what he said to me. He said, “I was laid off today, I think today, I’m just going to take a day and I’m going to rest. I’m not going to do anything, I’m just going to let it sink in, let it soak in, I’m not going to start looking for jobs.”

He said, “I’m not going to start looking for jobs for three days.” He said, “I’m going to wait three days, I’m just going to rest, relax, just kind of hang out. It’s the first time I’ve been jobless in over a decade, I’m going to enjoy it.” The very next day, he wakes up in the morning, goes to the computer, and sends out over 100 job applications through LinkedIn, okay? Over a hundred job applications.

Like, this is the fear I’m talking about, this is the kind of faithlessness I’m talking about. This is the fear that is so deep within him about not having a job. I mean, he went to his wife, he went to my sister. He’s like, “Okay, we’ve got to get on, you’ve got to get me on your health insurance” because she works, you know, she’s got another job. He’s like, “We’ve got to get me one of your health insurance, I can’t be without insurance.”

And he was like, he would say one thing, but you could sense, you could feel the energy. You could feel the energy of panic and fear and it was so wild because he would send out hundreds, the next day, he sent another hundred, you know? And the next day he sent another hundred. You know, you know how I am, brothers. You know, I kind of messed with him a little bit, I said, “I thought you were going to rest? I thought you were going to take a couple of days and just relax?”

He’s like, “Oh, well, you know, I just – I thought I better do something. So, you know, I got on my computer.” Yeah, you got on your computer. He spent the entire day sending out applications. In fact, the next week, he even confessed to me that it was a bad idea because he started to get responses from some of these jobs that he didn’t want for one reason or another.

Either because it required him to move, which required him to go to another state, it didn’t pay as much as he was seeking, it didn’t, you know, it wasn’t a good enough salary, it didn’t have good enough benefits or something.

[0:13:51.2] KA: But he started to get all these responses and now he’s overwhelmed with other responses, now he’s got all these choices of things he doesn’t want. You know, he applied for these jobs. Now he’s got to tell these people, “Oh, forget it, I was just kidding, I don’t really want to work for you, I just was in a state of panic and fear.” And it went on like this for a while, until finally, he started to relax and I think the relaxing was more out of exhaustion.

It’s more out of like, there’s just nowhere else to apply to. There’s just nowhere else that you know – and he would even say to me, you know, I’m in Oregon, we had conversations with my brother and he would even say, “You know, I’m applying for these jobs, there’s one position open and there’s thousands of applicants.” You know, again, there’s this faithlessness, there’s this fear coming through.

“You know, thousands of applicants, one position, you know, what am I doing? I’m never going to get this job” blah-blah-blah-blah. He comes through this. Well, weeks go by and one of the brothers at his church says, “Hey, you know, there’s an opening at the company I work for and you know, it might be good for you. I’ll put in a good word and we’ll see if HR reaches out to you.”

My brother’s like, “Yeah, absolutely, please do.” You know, completely, again, out of that state of, “I just need a job, I just need a job.” And so sure enough, this guy does that and HR does reach out to my brother and he does the interview with HR. It’s like three interviews, three processes, you know, you got to interview once and you got to interview twice and you got to interview three times with different people, different panels.

You know, kind of like, you know, they say “jump through the hoops,” right? You got to make sure everybody talks to you and they got to screen and everything and of course, it’s the same type of thing. Like, this job position has been opened, there are people applying. There’s one position and there’s, you know, hundreds of people that want this job, so it’s no different than any of the other jobs that he’d applied for over Indeed and LinkedIn and these other Internet companies that do this thing.

[0:15:38.9] But what’s fascinating is that this particular job was really like – it really aligned with what my brother’s skills were, and it also provided him with all of the things that he thinks he needs, right? The good benefits, the good salary, the working remotely, you know, working from home, and all of the things that you know, he’d been accustomed to in his previous job and that he thinks he needs to be happy, which is again, another part of our human – The neurosis of our humanity, you know, these things that we think we need.

But what’s fascinating here, and I’ll tell you, you know, I’ll make this long story short, he got the job. Within a month, he was back to work. So, he really had one month off, he had a month off where he really you know, had this “vacation” but it wasn’t really a vacation because of all the work that he was doing trying to get a job.

But what’s fascinating and what I told him was, as we were reflecting on this together, this was back in Oregon, this was months ago now but as we were reflecting on this together, I mentioned to him, kind of as a very sort of passive way. Not passive-aggressive because I wasn’t really like, trying to get out of him. You know, I wasn’t trying to condescend him in any way. I don’t do that to people, you know, I don’t believe in condescension.

I mean, it’s not a good thing, why would we do that? But in a very passive way, just so that he could kind of see this, kind of see this lesson, just understand this message. I kind of mentioned to him, it was like, “Look, bro, you know, you really could have taken a vacation. You know, from the moment you got laid off there, you didn’t have to do anything. You know, this job came to you, isn’t that wild?”

“Like, you didn’t do anything to get this job, like, you were just being yourself. You could have just continued to live your life exactly as you had.” Because again, this came from a friend of his in the church and he loves to go to church, church is a big part of his life.

[0:17:30.8] So, like your force of will, like, you, trying to force this. You, in your state of panic, in your state of fear, and I didn’t say these things, you know, I said enough, like that was enough of a message for him to get it but for you brothers, to see this as clearly as possible, you know, you didn’t have to be in that state of panic, that state of fear, that state of force, that state of, “I need to do it all, I need to fix this, I need to make this happen.”

You know, all of that was a waste of time. In many ways, it was just a waste of energy and time. You know, it’s time taken away from your daughter – my niece, you know? Time taken away from your wife, my sister, time where you were in your computer in a state. Time taken away from you and your love, you know, you’re panicking, you’re stressed, you’re putting your body under this unnecessary energy and all of it was for nothing, for nothing because what happened was you just went to church, mentioned to people who love you that you got laid off, and the job was there.

It was there for you the whole time. You know yes, you had to do the interviews and so on, like there was the interview process that he had to go through but again like what is that? That’s just him being him, him showing up, showing up to a call, maybe he did a lot of interviews he didn’t get any of the other jobs but he got that one.

He didn’t have to work to get that one. You see, he didn’t have to do anything to get it and it was a big message. You know, it was a big message for him in faith. Now, will it happen again? I don’t know, we’ll see. Like I said, will our faith be tested? Always, our faith is always tested but that’s what I mean by faith. It’s not faith that there is a white and again, not a white-bearded guy in the sky who is looking down and you know, making a list and checking it twice, going to find out if we’re naughty or nice.

That’s not what we’re talking about. I am not talking about this anthropomorphic deity that has all these human characteristics that we have to constantly be looking over our shoulder for. I am talking about faith, I am talking about this is happening for us. This is all love, love is what there is because of where we are. The closer we get, the more we get to that union, the more we realize it, the more we know it. It’s all there is, it’s just for us to remember, it’s just for us to get there.

Okay, now, a confession. Now, the story about me, probably what you’ve been waiting for, which is why I started with this story of my brother because I want you to listen to this podcast to the end. But here is my confession, brothers, and this is actually a confession/miracle. I want you guys to know that miracles do happen.

[0:20:07.1] Miracles have not disappeared. It is not like they’re just in the New Testament and then they haven’t happened for the last 2,000 years, you know, or that they’re just in the Gita or they’re just in the Sutra or they’re just in the Upanishads. You know, miracles happen in our own time. I mean, men and women have written books, autobiographies, and biographies, they’ve witnessed real miracles.

They’ve witnessed people pulling food out of their pockets, it’s like there have been accounts of miracles happening where a guy who have empty pockets, you know, he will turn his pockets inside out and then he’ll reach in and pull out an apple or pull out a loaf of bread or pull out an orange, you know, a piece of fruit, you know? And I know in the New Testament it’s all like two fishes and five loaves, feeding of the multitude.

It is all very poetic and it’s all very aggrandized but you know, here’s a guy within the last 200 years who performed the exact same miracle. “You’re hungry? Here’s some food. I have some food for you, it’s right here.” Out of nowhere, out of thin air, out of “nowhere” right? Out of “thin air.” Yes, because it’s all here, all we have to do is believe. When you have faith no greater than this size of this mustard seed, you’ll say to the mountain, move from here to there and it will move.

When you have faith no greater than the size of this mustard seed, you will reach in your pocket and pull out some food. I mean, it’s the same, it’s a miracle and it happens and I was able to witness one of these miracles. I was traveling in Italy with a friend, it was her birthday. This was a while ago, I can’t even remember. I want to tell you guys this story because you know, she’s a friend of mine.

It’s her birthday, she wanted to – she always wanted to go to Rome. She said, “I always wanted to go to Rome, it’s my dream.” She asked me if I would come with her, I said, “Sure, why not?” You know, “I mean, sure,” you know, the international man of mystery, right? “Like I can buy a plane ticket and go to Italy, like why not? Especially for your birthday, right? You’re a friend of mine. In fact, I’m grateful, thank you for wanting to celebrate your birthday with me. I am very grateful, I love you, thank you.”

So yes, we went out there and she arrived early, I arrived a little bit later because you know again, like we’re not together. It’s not a girlfriend of mine, just a friend but we – well, she’s a girl but not a – there’s no, you know, none of those intimate relationships and we ended up south of Naples in this very small town, Positano, I don’t know if you guys have heard of Positano.

[0:22:29.3] It is one of those coastal towns where you know, there is not a lot of cars, everything is built into the mountains, a lot of walking between in narrow, narrow streets. In fact, if you have ever seen the movie Equalizer 3, if you have ever seen the movie Equalizer 3 with Denzel Washington, he was in Altomonte, I think, which is much further south, closer to Sicily, Altomonte but Positano is very much like Altomonte.

That first scene where he walks out of the person’s house, the caretaker’s home, and he’s in those narrow staircases and he is walking around, it’s almost exactly like that. Like Positano is – I mean, they’re very similar towns and I was with her and it was a Sunday, number one, number two, it was off-season and these towns in the off-season, there’s nobody there. I mean, nobody, the shops close up.

In the on-season, when the tourists are there, there’s thousands of people, the shops are open all day. In the off-season, there’s maybe a couple hundred people and everything is closed like nobody opens their shops because there’s nobody buying anything. If one of their friends need something, then they’ll open their shop and they’ll bring them in but everybody knows everybody. It’s one of those places where everybody knows everybody.

So, they don’t open their shops just to sit around and wait for somebody to walk in. They only open their shops when somebody calls them up and says, “Hey, I’d like to come by.” And so everything was closed and number two, it was a Sunday and this is Italy, you know? So, it’s a strong Catholic community and Sunday is the day of rest. So, number one, it’s Sunday, number two, it’s off-season, everything is shut down, nobody is around, right?

Nobody is around, the streets are empty. I mean, I was saying it was me and her, and nobody. I mean, there were some birds in the sky, that’s it, right? Like nobody and we’re walking down the street and this gust of breeze picks up and I felt it too, like it was a strong breeze out of nowhere and it just blew the dust around. I got dust in my eyes, she got dust in her eyes and now, in my eyes and we were both in pain but I was able to get the dust out but she just couldn’t do it.

[0:24:26.5] Her eyes hurt so, so bad. She was crying, wouldn’t come out. I took a look, she’s like, “Can you look? Can you look?” It was like she wouldn’t move. I said, “Well, we got to keep walking, we got to find like a bathroom or a drinking fountain, we got to find some water. We got to find something to flush your eyes out.” She’s like, “I can’t move, I can’t walk like I’m in so much pain.”

Like not only is she blinded but she doesn’t want to move, her mind is completely absorbed in her eyes, right? That’s how bad, they were in pain and of course, in my faithlessness, here this brothers, this is my confession to you, in my faithlessness, I felt like I had to fix the problem. I’ve got to do something, I got to get her to some water, I’ve got to get this dirt out of her eyes. So, if she wouldn’t move, I couldn’t get her to go anywhere to a bathroom or anywhere, which, well I mean, where are we going to find a bathroom?

I mean, I was in a state of panic myself. You know, I just got done busting on my brother for being in a state of panic about his job. I’m in a state of panic because I can’t help my friend. Same thing, same thing, right? He thinks he’s going to fix the problem not having a job, I think I got to fix the problem of solving this, of solving my friend’s pain, right? Same thing. Now, I’m in panic mode.

I’m like, “Oh my gosh, what are we going to do? What are we going to do? What are we going to do?” She’s suffering, she’s suffering, she’s crying, she’s hurting, there’s nobody around, there’s no water, there’s no nothing, nothing is open, I can’t go find anybody, I can’t go get a tissue or a Kleenex or a bottle of water even like there’s nothing open. So, I say, “Okay, look, let me see if I can look, let me see if I can see in your eye.”

I just want to see if there is something I can see. So, she finally – we finally pry the eyes open, I look, I look down, I said, “Look up” she looks up, I look down at the bottom, there’s nothing there like I don’t see anything. I told her to look down, she looks down. I look up at the top of her eye like there’s nothing there, I don’t see anything. She’s crying, she’s almost screaming. She’s like, “We got to get this out, we got to get this out, I’m in so much pain.”

And that’s just triggering me even more, you know? Because you guys know how I am, right? Like suffering, pain, like I wish it were me. I want to take it. Give me your suffering, give me your pain. I couldn’t fix it, I couldn’t help it, there’s nothing I could do, and I was faithless, brothers. I was faithless.

[0:26:35.0] Now, here’s the miracle and I’m going to try to get through this without being emotional because this is a true miracle. I mean, a true, true miracle. I am not exaggerating this. I am not engaging in any type of hyperbole with this. This is exactly how it happened, this is exactly what went down, okay? I’m standing there looking at her eye, looking in her eye trying to say, “Where is this piece of dust?”

“Where is this, like what can we do? Where can I go, how can I help you, how can I find this?” And these people out of nowhere, okay? Out of nowhere, they walk up. It’s a man and a woman and they walk up and they say, “Can we help?” Now, first of all, we’re in Italy. I want you guys to remember that we’re in Italy. We’re in a tiny, tiny town in Italy where there are no tourists, this is off-season.

All of these people in this tiny, tiny town, they all speak Italian. They don’t know that we’re not Italian, they don’t know that we don’t speak Italian. They don’t know that we’re American but they walk up and they say, “Can we help you?” Okay, so that’s number one, they spoke English and they knew that we spoke English and I said to them kind of in a panic because I didn’t – this didn’t register to my mind.

It didn’t register that, “Whoa, they’re speaking English and how do they know we speak English?” I just said, “Yes, do you have any water? Do you have a bottle of water? We need to find a shop that’s open because she’s got something in her eye” and the gentleman, the man, the brother said, “I’m an eye doctor, how can I help?” I’m sorry, I am getting emotional here because you guys have to understand like out of nowhere, out of nowhere these people come out of here.

They just appeared and they speak English and he’s an eye doctor and I looked at him and I looked at her, his partner, his wife or his friend or whoever she was, and they’re just there, both just looking. They have these eyes, you know? They’re just looking, just love. There’s no fear, there’s no panic, there’s not even really a sense of helping. There’s not even a sense of like, “Can we give?” You know?

[0:28:50.1] It’s just like, this is – they’re just there. It’s just love, just there, and I say, “Okay, yes please, you’re an eye doctor, yes. Yes, yes, thank you for helping,” and he turns to his partner. He says something in Italian. I think he asked her for a napkin, la salvietta because you know, I speak some Spanish and it sounds very similar, la salvietta is napkin but he was asking basically like, “Do you have something I can get into this woman’s eye with, my friend?”

His friend did not, she didn’t have anything. So, he says, “Okay, okay.” He turns to my friend, he says, “Open your eye, open your eye.” She opens her eyes like okay and he takes her eyelid and he flips it inside out and he kind of like brushes it with his finger, just kind of moves his finger across it a little bit and then he flips her eyelid back in and all of a sudden, she can see, all of a sudden, she’s fine.

Like there’s no pain, everything is good. He even says to her like, “You might feel a little uncomfortable for a little bit,” right? It might be a little uncomfortable but even that like she wasn’t. She was happy, she was grateful, she was out of pain, it was like it never happened, and of course, I’m in a total state of gratitude. Like gratitude, gratitude, you know I am trying to give these people like, “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

I’m trying to you know, give them money. I said, “Take something, like can we pay you for your time, for your service? For your love, for your generosity?” And they wouldn’t let me touch them. It was so wild, it was such a funny experience because they wouldn’t let me touch them. They’re kind of like, “No, no, no, no, no, it’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay, no, no, no, no, no.” You know, I reached in my pocket, I had the money.

I had the euros like, “Please, take this, take this.” They say, “No, no, no, no, no.” They didn’t say like “Don’t touch us” you know? They weren’t like that but they just would not accept anything. They said, “No, no, no, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay,” and I said, “Thank you, thank you, thank you for everything. Thank you so much.” They say, “It’s okay, it’s okay,” and they turned and they started to walk away and then me and my friend started to turn and walk away.

Now, here’s another, here’s something else that will blow your guys’ minds and again, I am not exaggerating. This is not an exaggeration, it’s not a fabrication, it’s not hyperbole. We take about four or five steps, my friend and I and I turn around to take one more look and they were gone. They came out of nowhere and they disappeared into nowhere and that happened, brothers. That happened.

[0:31:10.0] I witnessed that. I remember that because that was a lesson for me. That was a deep, deep lesson for me. That taught me, that showed me how faithless I am at times. There are times in my life where I’m so, so faithless. There are times in my life, I think I need to solve the problems as if there are any problems. I need to fix the circumstance as if anything ever needs to be fixed.

It’s all good, everything is happening perfectly like just believe, just know, just have that faith and again like, if ye had faith the size of this mustard seed, you would say to the mountain move from here to there and it would move. You know, you faithless generation, you generation of so little faith, ye of little faith. You know, I remember the words of the Christ so often with that,

with that story, because it is, it’s just this amazing.

I can’t say that these people were real, I really can’t say they were real, I never touched them, I never shook their hand, gave them a hug, nothing. They seemed to disappear, they seemed to come out of nowhere and go into nowhere. I assume they were real because I could see them with my eyes because I could hear them with my ears but that’s it. That’s the only way that I had any idea that they were real.

Now, I didn’t touch him at all, you know? Smell them, taste them, you know, a bit of a little awkward, it’s like, “Hey, can I get a whiff?” Right? No, I mean none of that. Just seeing, just hearing. It reminds me, that moment in time reminds me over and over. I always think about that anytime I get in the state that I am doing something or I need to do something, anytime I get into this idea that there’s something that needs to be done by the I.

That the “I” needs to come up with something. It needs to come up with a solution, needs to come up with an idea. Needs to come up with a plan. I mean, you know what they say, you know, you want to hear God laugh, make a plan, you know? Because that’s what it is. Like, there is “I.” None of it. That’s all part of the illusion, this “I.”

[0:33:28.9] You know, “I” is just a label that we have given to a transient combination, a transient, impermanent combination of concepts and attachments to our body, to our speech, to our mind. It’s not an absolute. It’s not eternal. It’s not indestructible truth. That’s who you really are. Who you really are is absolute, eternal, and indestructible.

That’s the soul, the self, the spirit, the Atman, whatever you want to call it, and this miracle, what I observed, what happened helped me to further dissolve this idea of I and the self-oriented motivations that accompany it. that’s what miracles do. That’s all that miracles do, that’s the point of miracles. They’re not to prove the existence of God.

God exists, we don’t need proof, okay? If you feel like you need proof, then come to me, you know? I’ll give you proof because proof is everywhere but what miracles do is they help you dissolve the faithlessness. They help you dissolve this idea of “I” that I need to do something, that I need to get something done, that I need to force, I need to force my desires, my attachments into being.

My desire was to help my friend, was to remove the suffering from my friend. There is nothing that I could do but it was done. It was done. Thank you for hearing my confession, brothers. I love you, I’ll see you next week, and until then, elevate your alpha.


[0:35:14.3] ANNOUNCER: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Alpha Male Coach Podcast. If you enjoyed what you’ve heard and want even more, sign up for Unleash your Alpha: Your Guide to Shifting to the Alpha Mindset, at the alphamalecoach.com/unleash.



Scroll to Top