Ep #258: Let’s Carve A Spoon

Brothers, October is fast approaching and I’d really love to see you in Cartagena, Santa Marta. The Awaken the One Retreat is exactly that: an awakening; an awakening of consciousness, and it’s bound to be a life-changing experience, regardless if this is your first retreat or your 100th! There are only 12 spots and some have already been taken, so be sure to sign up as soon as you can. I can’t wait to be there with you. 

Now brothers, I recently went on a camping trip with a friend and it opened up new ideas about manifestation and creation. Because we are inherently creators. We manifest through our thoughts and intentions to create something that wasn’t anything before. Shortly after arriving at camp, my friend said, “Let’s carve spoons.” Bothers, I have never carved a spoon in my life, but this experience brought up six very important life lessons that I just had to share with you today. 

Firstly, say yes. Try something new. Trust the universe to provide you with good things and have the courage to embrace any new process. And once your intention is clear, start! Manifestation needs thought but creation requires action. 

The next three lessons go hand-in-hand: Be present in each and every moment, adapt to whatever life may throw at you, and rid yourself of all distractions. Clarity and focus only come with being present, change is one of life’s only constants so be ready for it, and out in the forest with no WiFi or phone signal, it was easy for me not to be distracted, but what can you do for yourself to ensure that you’re in a space optimized for creation?

Lastly, brothers, nothing is ever complete, nothing is ever perfect. But whoa, flip that, because (insert the mystery of duality) it is always complete! I could’ve spent a lifetime chipping away at the spoon, but it would be no more perfect than it was after the 18 hours that I did spend on it. So embrace imperfection and understand that once (you think) you’ve mastered something, there’s always still more to learn. Keep creating, my brothers, as you continue to elevate your alpha. 

Once you shift your frequency, brother, once you change your vibration, it’s not a matter of doing. You are already traveling.


What Youll Learn from This Episode:

  • Learning and building the skill of creation. 
  • Creation and manifestation as byproducts of existence. 
  • Mindset before action. 
  • Carving spoons: say yes, start, be present, adapt, no distractions, and perfect imperfection.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:


[00:00:09] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast, the only podcast that teaches men the cognitive mastery and alpha mindset that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence. Here’s your host, certified life coach, and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud.


[00:00:32] KA: What’s up my, brothers? Welcome back to The Alpha Male Coach podcast. I’m your host, Kevin Aillaud. Before we get into the content for today, which is going to be a little fun today. I’m going to tell you guys right away, I’m going to be a little fun today because of an event that happened last weekend. It’s really, really cool, and I’m going to tell you guys all about it. But first, I want to tell you about this men’s retreat that’s happening in Santa Marta, Colombia. If you can’t find Santa Marta, it’s on the coast of Northern Colombia. It’s on the Caribbean Sea. So, it’s north of Cartagena. It’s north of Cartagena. It’s north of Barranquilla. You got to go up the coastline.

Santa Marta has its own spot. It’s a nice little town, but Cartagena is probably the biggest town nearby. If you have trouble finding Santa Marta, find Cartagena, then move up north. But Santa Marta is beautiful. It’s beautiful. There’s great scuba diving there. There’s jungle there. The men’s retreat, brothers, it’s October 8th to 15th. It’s going to be a week long and you can go to the website, go to the website, it’s now up and running. It’s awakentheoneretreats.com. Awakentheoneretreats.com. I’m going to spell that for you guys so you have it, but you can go to the show notes and find it as well. It’s A-W-A-K-E-N-T-H-E-O-N-E-R-E-T-R-E-A-T-S.com. Awakentheoneretreats.com.

Now, brothers, when you go to the landing page, when you go to the website, you’re going to see a form to fill out. This is a form of interest. So, fill that out, we will get back to you, and we’ll answer all the questions that you have about this retreat. But I want to tell you guys a little bit about what you’re going to experience there because it is – just like the URL says, it is an awakening. It’s an awakening of consciousness. It’s awakening of consciousness from wherever you are, from your baseline, from your point zero, to wherever you end up at the end of the retreat. I can guarantee you that this will be a life-changing experience. I can guarantee you that it will be transformative.

It doesn’t matter if this is your first men’s retreat, or your first retreat ever, or your first personal development seminar ever. Or if you’ve been doing these for years or decades, I can guarantee you that you will have a transformational experience, because the process is full of group activity. Things like breath work, things like yoga, things like meditations. But also, one on one. There’s also going to be a personal experience that is rare. It’s rare for retreats. Usually, retreats, there’s a group and seminars, of course, big groups, usually you have small breakout groups, you get little communities out of a big community. But with this retreat, brothers, we’re only going to be hosting 12 men.

Again, I want you to know — and a couple of those spots are already taken, so if you’re interested in this, fill out that questionnaire immediately. Go to the landing page, awakentheoneretreats.com, and fill that questionnaire out immediately. Because we’re already filling up. We’re already down to 10 spots left. But there’s going to be personal engagement. There’s going to be personal involvement. That includes personal time with me as well. So, if you guys enjoy this podcast; if you enjoy the content that I put out and the guidance that I offer, then so, that’s going to be one on one time with me. But there’s going to be one on one time with the other guys as well.

I can’t say enough about this retreat. I’m really, really excited. Go to awakentheoneretreats.com Take a look at the information there, but fill out the questionnaire, fill out the questionnaire regardless. Reach out and we’ll get back to you when it’s your questions.

Now, brothers, I want to get into this podcast because this episode here, it’s fun. It’s a little – it has to do with manifestation. I want you guys to know that this podcast is about building a skill. It’s about learning the skill of creation. I say it’s a skill, but it’s wild because it’s not really so much a skill as much as it’s just a byproduct. It’s a byproduct of existing. It’s a byproduct of being a human being. About being a spiritual being, choosing to come down and have this human body.

Creation and manifestation is a byproduct of existing because we can’t not do it. It’s not like we can just say, “I’m not choosing to create today. I’m going to choose not to manifest today.” You see, we’re always manifesting, we’re always creating, and we’re either creating something new, we’re creating something that we want to experience that’s new or something that we have experienced that’s conscious, that’s a conscious, intentional desire of experience, or we’re just creating what we did yesterday. We’re just reaffirming our identity over and over and over and living in thought patterns and behavior patterns of our past.


But either way, either way, we’re manifesting, either way we’re creating. That’s what this podcast episode is about. It’s about this manifestation, this is creation, and how to really, how to really choose a goal. Not necessarily choose a goal, there’s going to be some about choice, but mostly about how to accomplish a goal. How to – once you’ve chosen what you want to experience, what you want to have as an outcome, as a result, then it’s about doing it. It’s about getting it done, right? A lot of these podcasts, I do talk about consciousness. I talk about mindset. I talk about cognitive mastery, thoughts, and emotions. I don’t spend a lot of time with actions. And there’s a reason for that, of course, brothers, because actions are the byproduct. We don’t need to talk about actions. If you’ve got the right mindset, if you’ve dialed into the right frequency, if you’ve dialed into the right emotion, and you’ve chosen the right cognition, you’ve chosen the story that motivates you.

Again, like I say, you’ve aligned with the frequency of movement, of drive, of determination, of creation, that you don’t even need to worry about actions. You don’t even need to think about what to do, because you’ll just do it. You’ll just go out there and do it. You don’t need to plan, you’re having all these intricate ideas around what you’re going to be doing, which usually falls apart because there’s no time spent about what you’re going to be thinking. All this time spent and what you’re going to do, and then when time comes, you just don’t, right? You just reaffirm what you did yesterday, and that’s why New Year’s resolutions fail. That’s why 30-day goals fail. That’s why people – that’s why there are entire coaching industry around goal creating, goal setting, and goal achieving.

Because human beings live in a pattern. We live in this pattern of thought. We live in this pattern of thought. And unless we get out of this, we break out of that pattern and thought, unless we do it consciously with our alpha state, then we’re just going to continue to repeat those thought patterns which lead to behavior patterns. So, even though this is about action brothers, this is still about mindsets. It’s still about consciousness.

You guys know that I’m up here in Oregon. I’m up here in Oregon visiting my family up here. I’ve got a house up here. I’ve got family up here. Oregon tends to be somewhat of a home base. I don’t necessarily want to call it a home base, because my real estate, the house that I own has long-term renters in it. So, I come and I stay with family. Sometimes I stay with my brother, sometimes I stay with my mom, sometimes I stay in an Airbnb or hotel. But I come up here to enjoy my family, my friends, and the beautiful Oregon environment in the summertime.

Now, it’s 100 degrees up here. I don’t know what’s going on. It’s August, it’s 100 degrees, we’ve had a string of 100-degree weather. I know it’s happening in other parts of the country as well, certainly other parts of the world, but it’s rare for Oregon. I arrived about a week ago, a week and a half ago, and first weekend I arrived, I just kind of hung out, visit with family. But last weekend, I went camping. I went camping. You guys know I love to go out into the woods.

Now, I love going out into the jungle, of course. I love going out into the Amazon. I love going out into the Yucatan jungles. I love jungles. But jungles are very savage. Juggles are old growth. Jungles are heavy growth, dense growth. There’s so much life there, because of the humidity, because of all the moisture. So, there’s so much life, there’s so much savagery and story and history in a jungle. In the more temperate climates, we have the forest which is more tame. I like to think about as like the jungle kind of that really savage adult, that really wild adult that goes out there that’s lived a life, and they can tell you all the stories of wisdom. The temperate forests are more like kids, right? They’re very innocent. They’re very – they’re kind of tame in a way right? They’re not so wild. They’re innocent and pure and new. So, I love going out in the forest.

The reason why I tell you guys that is because when I go into the jungle, I usually like to have some kind of shelter. I like to have some kind of palapa or shelter of some kind. But when I go out into the forest, I don’t need a shelter. I can sleep on the ground. I can sleep under a tarp, on the ground. Because it’s so innocent, because it’s so receiving. The forest is very different. The jungle, there are snakes and spiders and scorpions. Whereas, out in the forest, yes, there are snakes, but it’s very – again, it’s just very welcoming.


So, I went camping this weekend with a buddy of mine. I’m always open for new things. I’m always up for doing – having new experiences. Usually, when we go camping, we do some things. We process wood for firewood and hang out, doing different things, playing games, interacting, going for walks, going for hikes, birdwatching, identifying plants, and so on. But this time, my buddy did something different. He brought out these blocks of wood. One was made of walnut, one was made of cherry, another was made of pine, I believe. He brought out these blocks of wood that were cut, basically, into these squares. It looked like it was maybe like a one-by-two. We have the two-by-fours. If you ever looked at lumber, the one by two is little strips of wood. Maybe it was actually a two by two. I don’t know, because it was kind of thick or maybe a one-by-two.

But these little blocks of wood and he says, “Hey, let’s carve spoons.” I’m like, “What? Carve spoons?” I never considered myself a carver. I never considered myself a whittler. “Let’s whittle some wood”, he says. “Let’s whittle some wood. Let’s carve these spoons.” Now of course, I say, “Okay, let’s do it. I’m open to it. Why not?” I grabbed a block of wood, I actually grabbed the cherry and a knife. It wasn’t a whittling knife. It was just a knife, just to blade, and start cutting this wood. Start cutting, start whittling.

Eventually, I get to the point after hours and hours, it was most of the day, I get to the point where this thing is a recognizable, usable spoon. It’s wild. It’s a spoon. Now, I can send you photos if you want, brothers. If you guys want to see the photos I got before and after photos. I got the photos of the spoons. My buddy’s spoon, my spoon, and then the block of wood, all put together because there were actually three of them. He did one, I did one, and then we had the other one. It was wild because again, you can see this thing come to life. You can see the spoon come to life.

Now, what does that have to do with being an alpha male coach? What does that have to do with The Alpha Male Coach podcast? What does that have to do with you, with your life? What does that have to do with practical, applying this practical knowledge, this practical simplicity to you, and how it can change your life? Well, brothers, like I said, this is about manifestation. It’s about creation.

So, there’s a couple of points that I pulled out of this life lesson. This carving-a-spoon life lesson, let’s carve a spoon together. Let’s do anything together. Let’s build a house together. Let’s write a book together. Let’s learn an instrument. Let’s learn a foreign language. It doesn’t matter. It just so happened that this was carving a spoon.

Now, the first point that I want to pull out of this life lesson, brothers, is trying something new. I’d never carved a spoon before. And I don’t know if my buddy had or not. But for some reason, somewhere, somehow, he had got this little kit, which really wasn’t a kit. It wasn’t a kit any more than the pet rock is a kit, right? And the Mr. Potatohead is a kid, right? Basically, he just got this box that had these blocks of wood in it, and that was nothing. There was no instructions. There were no blades. There was nothing. It was just these four blocks of different types of wood. He gave one to his daughter, and then the other three he brought, and like I said, we had cherry, we had walnut, we had one other, mulberry, I think it was. Some other type of wood. He gave the pine to his daughter. So, we had these three types of woods.

First thing is trying something new. Try something new. I’m used to going camping, I’m used to doing a certain thing. But this was, “Let’s whittle some wood. Let’s carve some wood.” Yes. Learn to say yes, brothers. That’s the first lesson of this “Let’s Carve a Spoon” podcast, is learn to say yes. Learn to try something new. Just because it’s new, just because you haven’t done it before, that doesn’t mean it’s bad, it doesn’t mean it’s boring, it doesn’t mean it’s going to be a waste of your time. Learn to say yes. Trust. Trust that if something is being offered to you, trust that if something is being given, an opportunity that arises, trust that it’s okay to say yes, and have the courage to say yes.

Courage is action in the face of fear, right? You feel the fear, and fear comes from something that’s unfamiliar. Unfamiliarity. Anything new is going to potentially drive up this fear. Now, it can feel like excitement. It can feel like anxiety. It can feel like different things, of course. But it’s probably going to be the brain saying this is different, this is new, this could be harmless, it could be dangerous for us. Maybe not whittling wood or carving a spoon. But it could be something. It could be boring.

I don’t know about you guys. But let’s say you guys go to a party, you guys go to a party, you go camping, you go somewhere, you go to a tailgate, you go to Thanksgiving, right? You go to a family gathering, and one of your family members, when your friend says, “Hey guys, let’s whittle some wood. Let’s carve some spoons. Let’s carve some spoons.” Now, you might think, “Oh, man.” You might not have fear, right? There might not be this fear, like, “Oh, that’s unfamiliar. A little scary. I don’t know if I want to do that.” But there might be some other judgments in there. It’s going to be boring. Why would I do that? It’s such a waste of time. Just different things that you might be resisting or rejecting this opportunity. So, be aware of that. Just be aware of your mind. It’s a part of that cognitive mastery. It’s a part of learning to break patterns, learning to break behavior patterns that come from thought patterns.


The reason why you have behavior patterns, brothers, is because you have thought patterns. If you have a behavior pattern that’s highly repetitive, in other words, if you’re used to saying no to things that you’ve never done before, if you’re used to saying no to things that are offered to you, that are unfamiliar to you, then that’s a pattern. That’s a behavior pattern and it comes from a thought pattern that, well, it’s up to you to figure out. You could do some thought downloads on it to figure out what is that thought. What is the thought that is causing me to say no to new experiences, to say no to new opportunities? What is that thought? Again, it may not be fear, but it might be a derivative of fear. Maybe it’s failure. I don’t want to fail. I don’t want to look stupid. I don’t want to look foolish. I don’t want to be embarrassed. I don’t want to be humiliated. Or maybe it is the boring thing. I don’t want this boring – I’m not going to whittle wood, that’s boring. I don’t want to learn an instrument, that’s boring. That could take years.

Instant gratification, maybe your mind, maybe you have this belief patterns, thought pattern around instant gratification. This is not worth doing unless this is going to be done immediately. Take a day, take a weekend to create a spoon out of a block of wood. It’s like if you’re at a Thanksgiving Day party like, “No, no, I don’t want to do that. It would take too long. Take too long.” Another thought that’s creating a behavior pattern in you.

That’s number one, try something new. Trust. Trust and have the courage to move forward with something that your brain may be resisting saying, “No, no, no. We don’t want to do that.” For whatever reason, it’s hiding from you. Whatever excuse it’s giving you, the real reason is much deeper.

That’s number one. Learn to say yes. Then once you’re in it, once you say yes, the next lesson I want to offer you from this experience I had camping, is you got to start, you got to start. Here’s the thing, brother, I pick up that block of wood. Now, I happen to choose the cherry block. When I picked up that block of wood, and I could sit there and look at it. I could stare at it. I could spend hours days, weeks, months staring at this block of wood imagining what the spoon looks like inside. Imagining what the spoon could look like. What this little cherry spoon, this cherry block of wood could look like as a spoon. I could sit there look at it and imagine and think about and fantasize about it and put it all together in my mind.

But at the end of the day, it’s still a block of wood. At the end of the day, it still hasn’t begun. I haven’t begun creating. I haven’t begun the process of creation. Now, I have begun the process of manifestation. Now, I want you guys to understand this, because there’s a subtle difference of these words that really, I’m just putting together right now. Manifestation begins with thought, begins with intention. We begin to manifest when we begin intending. But we don’t start actually creating, bringing form into being, bringing that matter, bringing energy into matter, until we start doing, until we start acting.

Now, that being said, the moment I take that very first strip of wood off that block, I’ve created a spoon. I know that sounds crazy, I’m going to come back to that. But brothers, all you got to do is just start, just begin. You have the vision. Again, I look at that block of wood, I know I’m going to make a spoon out of it. I’m not going to make an action figure. I’m not going to make a fork. I’m not going to make a letter opener or remote control. I’m going to make a spoon, so I already know what I’m doing. That’s the manifestation part. The manifestation part is done. I have my intention. I’ve manifested it. It’s in my mind. The idea is there. I can envision it. I can imagine it. Boom. It’s time to start. That’s a life lesson there.

Okay, I’m going to come back and repeat these in other ways you guys can see these. The next thing is once you begin, then it’s about presence. Okay, brothers, you got to be present. When I noticed when I had that blade, I got that blade, I’m putting it to the wood. I’m thinking about the spoon the whole time. I’m thinking about the spoon. I’ve got this spoon in my mind and I’m present with it. I’m present with the block of wood in my left hand, with the blade in my right hand. I’ve got the idea, the vision in my head, I’m present with the idea, I’m present with the block of wood as it is, as it is, I’m present with it as it is. While at the same time, at the same time, in my mind, in my prefrontal cortex, I’m imagining, I’m envisioning the completed spoon. As I imagine and envision that completed spoon, and I have this block of wood, I have the spoon as it is, in my hand, I’m present and I’m moving that blade. Every time I take a stroke, every time I stroke a little bit of wood off of that block, I get closer and closer to the vision in my mind.

You see, so I’m accepting where I’m at in this journey. I’m accepting where I’m at in this process. I’m accepting that I’m holding in my hand a block of wood. But as I hold that block of wood in my hand, and as I stay present with that wood where it is, as I stay present with that spoon at the place of the journey it’s at, I’m still having in my mind the completion. I’m having in my mind the destination and I’m enjoying every time. Every time I take off a strip of wood from that block, I’m enjoying and I’m saying, “One step closer. One step closer. One step closer.” I’m enjoying that process, it’s very meditative. Because you’re present, you’re just present.


I’m breathing, I’m focusing on my breath. There were times during this process of carving that my hand movement, the way I would move my hand would be in line with my breath, is stroke, stroke. That was for the long handle strokes. Of course, for the shorter strokes in the spoon, or around the spoon, around the bowl itself, things are a little bit different, because I’m taking little strokes. I’m just kind of scraping. But again, the presence of it, I’m there, I’m focused. My mind, my body, everything is in the wood. It’s on the wood, and in the wood, and around the wood. I am holding the wood and I’m holding the blade, but my mind, my body, even though it’s outside of it, outside of it kind of shaping and creating it, it’s inside of it at the same time. I’m one with the one because I’m present with it. I’m working with it, I’m shaping it, but my energy, my frequency, my vibration, and the vibration of the wood are almost one. Because we’re so present together, we’re becoming this one shape, and I’m at one with my work. That’s intention. That’s focus. Right?

As I work on this in the moment, I’m also working on this in the future. I’m holding my intention for it in the future, as I experience it now with my focus. Okay, that’s number two. Well, number three, kind of, if trying something new is number one, number three kind of. But just remember that, brothers. I’m going to come to back. That’s presence.

The next one is changes. Changes midway, adaptability, adapt and overcome, as they say, in the military, right? We adapt and we overcome. We adapt and overcome. But changes midway, brothers. The thing about it, the thing about actions and results, is that oftentimes, our actions don’t net the results that we intend, right? It’s so often, especially when we’re testing, especially when we’re pushing, especially when we’re breaking the margins of our experience, because we’re really pushing the margins of our experience, we’re going to be doing something that we’ve never done before, or done very infrequently, or rarely.

So, the outcome of our action may not be as expected. It may not be exactly what we envision in our mind. As I have this vision of the spoon in my mind, I have this idea of this beautifully carved masterpiece spoon that’s intricately designed and has all these very fine carved out patterns. It’s just very – it’s wild. I’ve got this idea in my mind of somebody who’s been carving spoons for 100 years. It’s the first time I’ve ever done it. First time I’ve ever done it. I pick it up, I’ve got this idea. A mask spoon cover.

Well, of course, what happens is, as I begin to shave off this wood, as we get to do this work, oh, I’ll chip here, I’ll chip a little bit there, I’ll chip a little bit there. It’s not like, “Oh, man. Well, this chip here means that I have to adjust. A chip there means I have to adjust.” If I’m bringing the knife around the bowl, and it cuts a little bit deeper, or cuts a little bit sideways, it’s like, okay, I adjust. I make changes. I make changes in the moment. Every time I take a little bit of wood out of the block, every time I get closer to having that spoon, I make these minor adjustments, these minute adjustments. It’s like being on a ship, it’s like being on a sailboat out in the sea, or out in the bay. As the wind changes, you make little adjustments, you make little adjustments to the rudder, little adjustments to the tack, to the sail. You just make these little tiny nuances of adjustments, just to make sure you’re still on track, that you’re still on course to your destination. That’s the sailboat analogy.

Of course, it’s the same with the carving of the spoon. You take out a piece of wood, you strip a piece of wood off the block, and you look at it, you make an adjustment, right? Because maybe it wasn’t the perfect strip. Maybe you pushed a little bit hard, a little bit deep, or curved a little bit with the blade moved in your hand, and instead of going straight out, it went to the right or the left. So, it’s twisted, and you just make these adjustments. That’s adaptability. It’s adaptability brothers, because even when you’re in your goal, whatever that goal is, whether you’re writing a book or learning a language, or trying to lose 50 pounds. Whatever it is, there’s going to be some times in there that ask you to adapt, that they’re going to ask you to change. They’re going to ask you to modify your original plan so that you can still stay on course. You can still stay on track to reach your destination.

It’s okay. It doesn’t mean you failed, right? It doesn’t mean you planned incorrectly or you planned wrong. It means that life happens. It means that all destinations are a moving target and you’ve got to move to adjust for that moving target. You’ve got to make those changes and you got to adapt to make sure that as that target moves, that you can move with it. Because if you’re not going to move with it, then as that target moves, you’re just going to get closer and closer to quitting, right?


Failure, quitting, and telling yourself the stories that you can’t do it, you’re not meant for it, it was never going to work out, you’re not a spoon carver. You’re just going to go and go back to doing whatever it is you’re doing before. Again, brothers, it’s the margins of experience. So, if it’s the first time, allow for those changes. Give yourself that grace, the adaptability of grace. That’s another lesson from carving spoons.

Another lesson, I’ve only got two more, and I’m going to tie all this back. Two more. Another one is no distractions. Brothers, when I was out there in the woods, there was no distraction. There was no distraction, right? There was no television. There was no telephone. Because there’s no Wi-Fi. There’s no Wi-Fi. There’s no cellular data. Phones were off. There’s no electronics. There’s no battery-powered anything. There is no radio. There’s nothing. Yes, we had phones, but we weren’t using them. They were put away. They were turned off. There was no music. You may be thinking, “Wow, no music in the middle of the woods. That’s crazy.” There’s none of that. No distractions. Nothing to say, “Oh, well, I need to do that or I need to do this.” Once I started carving that spoon, there was nothing that said, “Oh, I need to check my messages. Oh, I need to look at Instagram. Oh, I need to have something playing in the background. I need to set this music up in the background, or set this television up in the background. Oh, I’m hungry, I need to run to the fridge and really quickly get a quick snack. I need to take a quick break, snack break from my carving.” None of that happened. None of it happened. Because it just wasn’t there. It wasn’t there and there were no distractions.

This has to do with focus time. I talked a lot about this in the academy. I’ve talked about this on podcasts as well, brothers, where you block out a time in your calendar, or you eliminate distractions. You take out distractions, close your computer, shut off your phone, do what you got to do. Put a sign on your door that says, “Do not disturb.” If you’ve got kids, or if you’ve got family, or if you’ve got friends or roommates or whatever, put a sign on your door. Make sure nobody comes and knocks on your door, that you are not distracted. Give yourself whatever amount of time you want, 20, 30, 60 minutes, because that’s a part of the intention. It’s a part of the focus. I’ve mentioned that earlier that once I had that block of wood, I was so in tune with it, I was so into it, that I almost became one with it. And not having distractions, it was a part of that. They may seem like different and they are different. They’re very similar, but they’re different. Because not having those distractions when you’re working on your goal is so important to creation.

Manifestation itself can be a distraction, as I said, that’s why you got to just start. You got to pick up the wood, and you got to start cutting it. You can’t just sit there and manifest, and manifest, and manifest in your mind, and envision, and envision, and plan, and plan, and imagine, and imagine. You got to start creating. So, manifestation can be a distraction. There were times that that happened. There were times when I stopped carving, I took a look at the spoon, I took a look at the block of wood, and for probably longer than I had to. I sat there and I thought about what it might look like. For probably longer than I had to, like for maybe a minute or two. I spun it around in my hands. I got the filed fork, touched the bowl a little bit, the inner part, checked to see it was smooth. But then, I would stop and I would stare at it. That’s the manifesting, right? That’s the daydreaming. I got into daydreaming. I got into this idea and fantasize it.

Once I realized, “Oh man, I’m thinking about this again. I’m thinking about this. I’m manifesting, I’m not creating. Time go back to creating.” Put the blade onto the wood and start pulling it again, start chipping away at it. Distractions. Distractions are everywhere, brothers. We call it buffering, right? But no distractions. It’s another life lesson from carving a spoon.

Then, the last one I want to introduce to you guys and then I’m going to wrap this all up because I want to close up here, we’re about at 30 minutes, brothers, is that the work is never complete. The work is never complete. That’s the thing about some of us, some humans that are perfectionists, right? It’s like, “Well, I need to make the perfect spoon and the spoon, has got to be perfect. If it’s not perfect, then it’s never going to be complete.” If it’s never going to be complete, then I might as well never start. That’s the perfectionist idea, right? It’s like, I’m not going to make it the way I envision it because it’s the margin for my experience, because it’s the first time I’m doing this, so I might as well just not even begin.

Brothers, I want to tell you something about the spoon. You already did with the spoon at the end of the camping trip. Even though I’d spent days, I spent one full day and another half day on it. I would say probably about, I don’t know, close to, if not, 18 hours on carving the spoon. It was good. It was nice deep bowl. Nice solid handle. Nice and smooth. had good texture, had good – it looked great. At the end a camping trip, I threw it in the fire. I put it in the fire. That was the end.

That’s a little bit Buddhist, I know a little bit non-attachment. But I want you guys to understand this has to do with being never complete. Because the work is never complete. I could have spent a lifetime on that spoon. I could have spent a lifetime perfecting that spoon, chipping off a little burr here. Putting in a little mark there. Maybe a little intricate design on the handle. Or maybe there’s something in the bowl itself that needs to be polished or shaped. Maybe I tape some sandpaper on my thumb and I use the bowl as a little bit – those worry stones. Have you seen one of those worry stones when you take it, you rub your thumb on it. Well, maybe I put some sandpaper on my thumb, some really, really fine sandpaper, and I use the bowl on my spoon as a worry wood so that it gets really, really soft, really, really smooth in there. I could spend a lifetime on that. But it’s never going to be complete, brothers.


You know what? It’s always complete. That’s the mystery. That’s the mystery of duality. The moment I take that block of wood and shave off one strip of wood, I’ve already completed this spoon. It reminds me of being a Cub Scout. I was a Cub Scout. I’ll make this story very quick. I was a Cub Scout when I was a kid. We used to have these pinewood derby races. Now, some of the kids who had great parents, I guess, like I don’t want to say that I – I’m not a victim in my childhood, brothers. I’m going to throw it out there. I’m not saying I had a horrible childhood. What I’m saying is that some of these kids, they had these parents that would – they would research aerodynamics. Let me put it that way. They would research aerodynamics, they would research weights, and shape, and they would paint this thing with like gloss that even made it more aerodynamic. I mean, they would just do things with this piece of wood, this pine wood block of wood, that would make these little derby cars really, really fast.

Well, you know what I did? I took a crayon, and I colored it, and I stuck the wheels to it, and that was my pinewood derby because I didn’t have any. I really didn’t have any parents. Yes, I was a Cub Scout, because the best I could do was have somebody pick me up to go to meetings and drop me off, right? My parents weren’t even involved in that. But it was wild because I got this block of pine wood and I colored with a crayon, I put the wheels on it. Yes, I entered into the pinewood derby, and yes, I lost every race because I basically have this block of wood trying to race against these – it would look future model cars. Have you ever seen those pilot cars, what do they call it? Test cars or something like that? Concept cars? I’m trying to win against the concept car here, this block of wood.

But my point is, it was still a complete pinewood derby car. It was a complete pinewood derby car. Yes, all I did was put the wheels on and throw some crayon on it, basically scribble some crayon on it. But it was entered into the race and it was a complete car. It was done. The car was done. The moment I take one strip of wood off of that block of wood, the spoon is done. It can be used as a spoon. It is a spoon. The spoon is there. You may not see it, I may not see it, but it’s there. So, it’s complete the moment you begin, and it’s at the same time, it’s never complete for as long as you live. That’s also a life lesson. In any journey you begin, in anything you undertake, in any skill, you will always be attempting to master. You will never become a master of anything, whether it’s the guitar, whether it’s a foreign language, right? Whether it’s a musical instrument, a foreign language, no matter what it is, mastery is a height that we’re constantly striving to achieve and yet never accomplishing. Because it’s never complete. We always have more to learn.

One of my teachers would say, “Once you believe that you’ve mastered anything, go back to the basics and start all over.” That’s what I mean when I say the work is never complete. That’s another life lesson from carving a spoon.

All right, brothers, let’s tie this all together. Starting a business, losing 50 pounds. What about bringing romance back into a relationship? Or how about going out there and connecting to, and starting a romantic relationship? It’s all the same. It’s all the same as carving a spoon. First of all, you got to try something new. Try something new. Trust and courage. Again, whether you’re starting a business, whether you’re trying to lose weight, whether you want to create a new relationship, or bring back a relationship, right? It’s all going to be new. You got to try something new. If it’s a business, do something no one’s done before. Instead of doing something that everybody else has done, do something different. Innovate, innovate, trust, just because everybody else has done it, it doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. Trust that you have a new way of starting that business.


Losing 50 pounds, same. There may be some things that you can do, right? You know that maybe more exercise may help, you know that maybe less calories might help, but try something new. Try something different. You don’t have to go to the gym five, six days a week, for an hour at a time. You could join a softball team. You could go for after-dinner walks with your wife, or your girlfriend, or your kids, there’s a lot of things you can do. But just try something new, and bring the romance back. It’s all the same. So, that’s number one, try something new. Trust and courage.

Number two, start. You got to start. Business, start it. It’s nice to have a plan, it’s nice to daydream, it’s nice to fantasize about business. But you got to start, you got to do it, you got to begin, you got to create it. Because until you create it, it’s still in your mind, and that’s the same with what you’re trying to lose weight or trying to bring the fire back in your marriage. You’ve got to start, you’ve got to do something. Intention and focus. You got to be present. Present with these things. Your business, if you’re trying to start a business, you’re not present with it, you’re not putting your intention, your focus into it. If your mind, if your brain is scattered to 100 different places, then that business, there’s no energy in it. There’s no intention in it. It’s the same with losing weight. If you’re just telling yourself, “I want to lose weight. I want to lose weight. I want to lose weight”, but you’re not having any intention around it, you’re not having any focus on it, you’re not thinking about it, you’re not thinking about it, and then moving into it.

Starting as a part of it. That’s the kickstart. But once you started it, having that focus in it, focusing on what is your intention behind it. Because you can go to the gym, brother. You can go to the gym, and you can bench press, you can back squat. But your intention might be to get stronger, or maybe to get bigger, and somebody else’s intention might be to get smaller. They might want to lose weight, right? So, intention matters. It’s not just about the doing. It’s about why you’re doing it, and focusing on it. Remember that changes will inevitably occur. Remember to adapt, remember that whether you’re starting a business, whether you’re beginning a new diet, or new exercise program, or whether you’re trying to, again, jumpstart that relationship, bring the fire back into a romance, change, adapt, recognize that if you try something, and it doesn’t work as intended, that’s okay. Try something else. Don’t just say, “Oh, I failed. I’m a victim again. I failed and I’m a victim and this isn’t going to work.” Don’t do that. That’s not the way to do it. Because that’s the old pattern, right? You’re not a victim. You’re not a victim of anything.

Brother, if I can give you one thing. Look, the academy is all about gratitude, consciousness, and empowerment. You are not a victim ever. You’re never, ever, ever a victim of anything or anyone. Always remember that. Never be a victim of yourself either. Be okay to change, be okay to try something, and have it not go as intended so that you can try something new. So, you can adapt. As you do this, as you begin, as you intend, and as you allow yourself the adaptability of change, remember to stay engaged. Don’t get distracted. Whatever distractions there are, try to eliminate them beforehand, before you begin this goal practice. Because this is as much of a spiritual practice as anything else. If your goal is to lose 50 pounds or start a business or bring romance back into your relationship, then having time to focus on that, having time to not be distracted, and give yourself the intendant the actions. The intentions are there. You have the intention, you have the manifestation. But the creative actions behind that cannot have distractions. You cannot have that energy interrupted. Because if you do, you can. I don’t want to use the word can’t. You can’t if you’re energy interrupted. But that means that the manifestation, that means the creation itself will be interrupted. Recognize that what you bring to form is done so through the energy by which it was brought.

Then, last brothers remember, that’s never complete and it’s always complete. The moment you start your business, you’ve succeeded. The moment you start going to the gym or your new diet, you’ve succeeded. You’ve accomplished, you’re done, your work is complete, at the same time, it will never be complete. And at the same time, this new business, it’s going to become a part of your new story, and your new life, your new behavior pattern. Same as going to the gym, same as the diet, same as the new romance, same as whatever you’re doing, same as bringing home flowers, or same kind things in the morning, or beginning to work on that spark, that sensuality, that passion, as intention and focus. It’s going to become a part of your new relationship, your new life. It’s not complete, and at the same time, it’s done. It’s done. You are that new person. You’ve stepped into them already.

Brothers, purpose is in the moment. It’s what you’re doing. Be here, here, and now. Remember the lessons learned from carving a spoon. Remember these life lessons and fall in love with just being. Just learn to love existing. Learn to love life for no other reason than because you are experiencing it. Remember you are that conscious presence of observation. You are witnessing the great cosmic drama perfection as it unfolds, so be the actor, and be the audience, but always be the alpha. Until next week, my brothers, elevate your alpha.


[00:40:16] ANNOUNCER: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Alpha Male Coach Podcast. If you enjoyed what you’ve heard and want even more, sign up for Unleash your Alpha: Your guide to shifting to the alpha mindset, at the alphamalecoach.com/unleash.



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