Ep #240: Courage

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Brothers, do you remember The Truman Show? Well, life is very much like that Jim Carrey movie in that it’s all about how we see ourselves through the relationship of others. Everyone you meet is there to help you on your life’s journey, to teach you something about yourself that you did not know, or to confirm what you already knew. And what is that relationship? A relationship of love, of course. 

Love is the only thing that exists, that is real, because everything is one and everything is love. But what about courage? Well, courage is acting in the face of fear. It is knowing what you’re afraid of, feeling the fear, and choosing to take action anyway. But remember, brothers, that fear is an illusion. It is not real. 

All fear comes from our fear of death, the fear we have of time running out. All fear can be distilled to that one great fear, the fear of death, the only fear that is.  But death is an illusion, brothers. It is a construct of the ego to try and help us make sense of the matrix, which also isn’t real. But energy never dies, and you are all energy. Therefore death is not real, and neither is our fear of it. 

So courage, dear brother, is letting go of the very concept of death. It is stripping yourself of everything you’ve learned, everything you’ve been taught by the models, and choosing to live in every moment, to exist only in the here and now. You are eternal, brother. You are already enlightened. Courage is a mere reminder that you are already awake, and it is one of the 12 steps toward elevating your alpha.


What Youll Learn from This Episode:

  • How life is all about seeing yourself through the relationship of others, like The Truman Show.
  • The distraction and illusion of lack. 
  • Understanding courage as one of the 12 steps, and as action in the face of fear. 
  • Having the courage to look through all forms of fear and remembering that fear is an illusion.
  • Letting go of the concept of death, the only fear that is. 
  • Focusing on what is and not on what isn’t: You are an eternal, enlightened being.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:


[00:00:09] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast, the only podcast that teaches men the cognitive mastery and alpha mindset that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence.

Here’s your host, certified life coach and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud.


[0:00:32] KA: What’s up, my brothers? Welcome back to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. I am your host, Kevin Aillaud. I’m still in Tulum, as you guys probably know, because it’s April. It’s my third month down here. I’ll probably stay for a couple more months, but we’ll see. I’m looking at some other places, actually in Mexico. But one of the things I want to tell you guys is, because I’m down here in Tulum, I’m still down here in Latin America, and this is actually something to drink more in South America, but I switched from drinking coffee to drinking Yerba, Yerba mate.

I first heard about Yerba mate when I was visiting Argentina, working for a fitness company and coaching and running Level 1s, Level 2s in other countries, and one of the places we went was Buenos Aires. I went to Buenos Aires many times and I saw the people drinking Yerba, but I never really got into it. Because I wasn’t much of a coffee drinker myself at the time. Then I got into drinking coffee, and I had drank coffee before. It’s not like I got into it, right? Of course, I drank coffee for many, many years, but I had gotten out of drinking coffee.

I hadn’t drinking it for a long time, and then I started drinking, and I realized, “Oh, I really actually enjoy this hot drink in the morning.” But I didn’t really like how dark it was, so I switched to drinking tea and trying to get different stuff, hot water with lemon and so on, but I really like that hot drink in the morning. Then I found Yerba again.

Now, what I love about Yerba, brothers, and again, this is not a – this is not a commercial for Yerba mate, okay. Nobody sponsored here. This is not a sponsor. I’m just sharing this with you guys, because what I love about it is that you use a straw, number one. You use a straw to drink it, so it doesn’t hit your teeth, and that’s one thing about coffee. It was too heavy. It was too dark on my teeth. But I also love about it is that it gives me the right amount of caffeine hit without some without the jitters that coffee sometimes gives.

[0:02:16] KA: If I drink heavy, heavy amounts, maybe not necessarily heavy amounts in terms of volume, but heavy amounts in terms of density, right? People put a whole – they put a whole bag of coffee beans into the filter, right? Then it makes two cups. You have this coffee that comes out like oil, like mud. When it’s just super heavy like that, I tend to get a little bit of jitters with the caffeine. I like the Yerba a little bit better and I’ve been drinking it.

I’m just wondering if any of you guys have had experience with Yerba mate, because it doesn’t seem really big in the US. Honestly, when I’m in the US, I don’t hear – I don’t see it. You can’t get it in a coffee shop. There’s no Yerba option. They have tea option, but they have no Yerba options. I’m just wondering how many of you guys drink this, because I know that it’s really, really big in South America, of course, down here in Mexico and I’ve switched over. If you guys have experimented with this at all. Again, it’s not like a medicine, or anything. It’s purely just caffeine, from a plant, instead of a bean, like a shrub down in Latin America.

The other thing I’m feeling down here, and this is not just Tulum, brothers, this has happened me before. It’s going to be a nice little segue into the content today is that I’m getting a lot of Truman Show vibes. I want you guys to understand what I mean by Truman show, because I think I’ve talked to you about this on the podcast before, and this is really one of the, I guess, what I would say symptoms. I don’t even want to say symptoms, because it’s not a symptom. It’s a part of the practice of awakening as if we’re not already awake, right? It’s a part of what you experience when you’re on this path, although the destination of the path is here. It just leads you back to exactly where you are, just in a different state of being, the alpha state of being.

When I say, I’m getting a lot of Truman Show vibes, brothers, what I’m essentially saying is that at any point, and I’m feeling this more and more, I feel like at any point, someone is going to jump up from behind the jungle bushes with a camera and say, “Oh, we got you. We have the candid camera.” Or they have shows where you’re on a hidden camera and they do wacky stuff. It’s not because wacky stuff is happening to me. I want to be clear with you, brothers on this. It’s not because wacky stuff has happened to me. It’s not because really wild and weird stuff is happening. It’s because I’m getting this feeling like everybody, and maybe this is something that’s happening for you too as well. It’s happened to me many times, and it’s happening very strongly once again, that everybody, every human being is essentially here to show me something.

I don’t mean show me something as if they’re teaching me a skill, or they’re teaching me a system, some concept. I mean, they’re literally trying to show me a part of myself. They all have the same purpose. That same purpose is to remind me in this case, but maybe to remind you if this happens to you, to remind us all that we really are on The Truman Show, right? That we really are all here to go through this entertainment. We are the entertainers, right? If you guys remember from the movie of life, right? We are the entertainers of the one observer. The all-oneness, who is dreaming all of this. It is dreaming all of this. It is. I know, I don’t like to put necessarily an anthropomorphic twist on it, but it is watching, observing everything as if it were a television show. That’s the move, right?

[0:05:41] KA: That’s why The Truman Show is so wild, because you think at any moment like, “Oh, my gosh.” I feel at any moment, any person that’s in my life, any person that’s in my life, whether it’s a family member, whether it’s a friend, whether it’s a student in the academy, anybody I meet at the restaurant, anybody that I meet at the cacao bar. Here in Tulum, we have cacao. It’s wild. I know in the States, we go drink coffee in the morning. In Mexico, we drink chocolate. It’s crazy. It’s wild. It’s amazing. I love it. It’s actually a very beautiful medicine down here. Whoever I meet, I’m basically waiting for them, waiting for these people, this person, whoever it is, to just take a bow, to just take a bow. At the end of a play, at the end of a play where the characters come out, the screen closes, the curtain closes and the characters come out and they all take a bow and then announce them by title and by role. They give them their real name.

This is Betty. She played Pocahontas, right? Everybody gives a round of applause and then this is so-and-so, he played so-and-so and everybody gives a round of applause. I feel like, it could happen at any moment. Then everybody in my life would just be like, “Yes, this is my role. It was my role to play your friend. It was my role to play your student. My role was fulfilled through the relationship we had, through the relationship that unfolded for us.” That’s why we’re here, brothers, you understand? That’s what it all is, is all to see yourself through the relationship of others.

What is that relationship? Is the relationship of love. I know I keep saying that over and over, right? It’s like, “Oh, man. He’s on this love thing.” That’s because that’s the only thing that’s real. It’s the only thing that’s really there. It doesn’t matter what you call it. You call it love and maybe we get this connotation of emotion. This connotation of emotion is saying, “Oh, it’s over there. It’s love, so we should just all love each other, like just one big love fest.”

I think that that connotation is very mundane. I think it’s very watered down in terms of what I mean when I say love, because I could say everything is love, I could say everything is energy. I could say, everything is source, right? I could say everything is consciousness. I’ll be saying the same thing and all those words have very different connotations than love. But there’s only one thing that’s real, brothers, and this is what makes this path, the spiritual path, the spiritual journeys, because there’s only one thing that’s real. That is the same thing that we all seek. It’s one of the alpha male tenants. You guys probably remember this, the alpha male tenant is we don’t want the result, we only want the way we think the result is going to make us feel.

In other words, it’s not the thing. It’s not the external thing. It’s not the thing in the world, because that’s a part of the illusion, right? That’s a part of the dream. The car is a part of the dream. The car. What else? What else do you guys want? What else do you guys want out there? Money, right? Because money can just – you can just buy whatever you want. Maybe it’s just money. We’ll say, money. It’s not the money you want. It’s not even what you think the money will buy that you want. It’s the way you think you’re going to feel when you have either the money, or the stuff that you think the money’s going to buy, because that’s what we’re after. We’re after the feeling.

[0:08:47] KA: If we could have the feeling, and we can, by the way, so you know guys, we can. If you create the feeling, then you wouldn’t need the thing. I’ve had some people, some students and some friends, both, really have some resistance to this. Because they say, “Oh, well, if I could feel it anywhere and I don’t want the thing, then what’s the point of wanting the thing?” I say, the point of wanting the thing is for the feeling. Now, just because you can create the feeling anyway, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still experience the thing. But, well, maybe it’s an and, because I want to put these two sentences together, right? And only one of them is real. Only one of them is real. One of them is an illusion and one of them is real.

The real, what’s real is the love. That’s what’s real. The illusion is the thing. The move here, the big move here is to detach your feelings about the thing from the thing itself. That’s a part of what the journey is. That’s why I’m feeling a lot of these Truman Show vibes, because it’s not about what’s happening outside. It’s all about directing and guiding what’s going on inside. In many ways, brothers, I would offer that as a practice, you maybe begin to look at how that kind of practice can serve you. Because when you approach every single person in your life as someone who is giving to you more of what you’re giving to them, is basically giving back exactly to you what you’re giving to them. That becomes the practice for you to see what it is that you’re giving, what it is that you’re being.

We have no enemies on this planet. We only have each other. We only have ourselves. We only have everybody working together, working together for what? Working together to remember that the only thing that exists is love and all of its derivatives. But what that may look like doesn’t really matter. We all know what it feels like. We all know that that’s what we’re after. At the very end, that’s what we’re after, because that’s what we are. We’ve been distracted by other things that create the lack of love.

In that illusion of lack, we look externally to try to create a solution for that lack, to fill a void that isn’t there and it can’t be filled by what doesn’t exist. Because you are already awake. I am already awake, and that’s what everybody in our lives are doing, waking us up. They don’t know that and you don’t know that that’s what you’re doing for them, but that’s what we’re all doing for each other. That takes courage.

[0:11:27] KA: What is courage? Courage is what we’re going to talk about today. I know that was a big intro. Big intro for you guys. Hey, today we’re going to talk about courage and it’s one of the 12 attributes. I say attributes. We used the word attributes before and I don’t want to confuse it with 12 attributes of mastery, or 12 attributes of responsibility, which is something I did a while ago. However, they do tend to overlap from time to time.

Courage is it’s one of the 12 steps. Let’s put it that way, because we’re talking about steps. Then I do want you guys to understand in some way, not in a mandatory, or required way, but in some way, these steps do build on each other and they build onto each other up until that very top, the thirteenth step, if you will, which is the step of awakening, the step of enlightenment. Again, brothers, before I even mention that, further in with courage, when I say words like awakened and when I say words like enlightened, I’m not talking about somebody who is not you and I’m not talking about something that you are not, or that you cannot achieve, or have not already achieved, because we are awakened. We are enlightened. I’m not talking about the Buddha here, or the Dalai Lama, okay. I’m talking about you.

That’s why you’re listening to this podcast, maybe. Maybe you don’t know that, but your soul knows that. Your soul knows why you’re listening to this podcast. In fact, your soul knows why it’s here in general. It’s the mind that gets distracted. You know why you’re listening to this podcast, that this is the stepping. We step on these platforms that lead us up to the experience of what it means to be enlightened and awakened, which it’s really not going to change. It’s not going to change the external world, because the external world is the illusion that we’re all in. What changes is your relationship to it, as I’ve said many, many times.

The sea line doesn’t need to change. The circumstance never needs to change. What changes is your relationship to it, your thoughts, your feelings and your actions. That’s how you relate. What is courage? Well, again, courage, we talked about it before in the exoteric way, the exoteric way, courage, and I think that this is probably the definition that we all understand is action in the face of fear. If we look at the model of alignment and we have the circumstance, which is neutral, which is there, we have your thought about the circumstance. Well, that thought, if it’s coming from the ego, it’s coming from the ego that’s driving the mind, using the brain, ego and brain work together. You guys know this I think as well, ego and brain work together. The brain keeps the body alive, the ego keeps the identity alive and the ego identifies with the body, which is what creates separation, which is why your body is a part of your separate nature, right?

[0:14:05] KA: There’s a thought in there that’s probably going to be coming from the ego, the conditioning, the beta condition, the story. When it comes from there, it’s going to be fear, or some derivative. There will be fear in the F line. Now in the A line, if you just follow through with that fear, it can be something like fight or flight. It can be something dangerous to the body. More often than not, the chances are much more high that it’s – there is no danger to the body. It’s purely a danger in some way to the identity, which is also an illusion. The identity of the ego is an illusion, as is the fear, sometimes it’s called irrational fear, right? Because there’s no danger to the body, but even danger to the body in many ways could be considered irrational fear and I’m not going to get into that on this podcast episode. I’m not going to do that here.

We’re going to talk about just the courage in the face of, well, I mean, we could, because it’s going to be really any type of fear, but exoterically, it’s to know that you’re afraid and to act anyway. That’s what we call courage. Courage is knowing that you’re afraid, is feeling the fear and doing it anyway. I think, all of you have probably had some experience with this at some point in your lives. Right now, it doesn’t have to be something major, but all courage is courage. There’s no levels of courage that some people may say. There’s no level of courage that would say, there’s a higher amount of courage to go into situation X that’s creating you fear, versus a lower level of courage that you’re going to need to go into situation B, because of fear, because fear is fear. Fear is fear.

The F line is fear. We all feel fear when we feel the fear. The action of courage is not measured that way. This is something I think we need really need to understand as adults generally, because I think it’s – we meet our first examples of courage as kids and to understand that, to know that it doesn’t matter, that courage is courage, that there’s no levels to it. There’s not a little bit amount of courage that’s required for that and/or a high amount of courage that’s required for this.

For example, if you’ve got a child who’s going into the first day of school and they’re a little afraid, then the amount of courage required for them to get over that fear is no greater, or less than the courage it takes for you to what? Whatever you’re afraid of, right? Approach the woman, speak in front of a 10,000 people, public speaking’s a big one. How about jumping out of an airplane for if heights is a big one? Yeah, how about going into combat? You may not even consider that. It was like, “Oh, well, that’s not even in my scope of reference, right?” Because for many people, it’s not. Can you imagine that?

For a little five, six, seven-year-old kid who’s going into school for the first time, there’s no difference. As adults, you may see, “Oh, my gosh. Come on. Just go, just go, just go. There’s nothing to be afraid of. Nothing to be afraid of.” Well, it’s all fear. All fear is illusion. All of it, whether it’s the first day of class, right? Or whether it’s getting shot at. All fear is an illusion. I know, I just took a big leap there, right? I was talking about combat, but maybe speaking in front of 10,000 people, or walking in the first day of class is no different than introducing yourself to anybody, anyone. It doesn’t matter who they are, if there’s some anxiety around talking to people.

[0:17:27] KA: Yeah, brother. There’s no level of courage, number one. But understand that courage has the exoteric and that’s what we’re talking about. I think that’s what you guys all know. There’s the esoteric. When I say esoteric courage, what I mean is really the real courage. Not that the other courage is not real. Remember, the fear is not real. The fear is not real. The esoteric courage is really understanding that single principle. Understanding that everything that isn’t real, there’s no grout foundation. There’s no foundation to put fear upon.

I’m taking courage to the next level, right? Instead of courage being action in the face of fear, it’s having the courage to look through all forms of fear. Okay, I’ll say that again. Right now, we believe that courage is feeling fear and acting anyway. The reason why we believe that is because we believe that fear is real. It’s a part of the illusion. It’s a part of the beta illusion, right? It’s a part of the beta conditioning that fear is real. That there are actually things to be afraid of. I’m not going to get into the logic on that. It’s actually quite irrational. All fear is irrational.

Maybe I’ll do that in another podcast, right? If that’s something you guys want to hear, we can get into that. I can tell you that. I can explain why that is. But I think I have explained in some ways for you guys, enough at least to know that fear is not real. If right now the definition of courage is to say, okay, I’m afraid and that’s real, but I’m going to act anyway. But I think courage has lost its power a little bit, because it’s responding, because it’s response is required by something that isn’t real, by an illusion.

I can only be courageous when I’m already confused, when I’m already in some dementia and I’m already in some insanity. I’m in the insanity of fear and that’s when I can be courageous. Courage is also insanity. I’m going to offer something else. I’m going to say that courage is something different. Courage is looking through it all and saying there is no fear. What does that mean? That requires you to let go of everything you think you know of all the labels in the world. It’s to have a direct experience with everything.

In many ways, brothers, and I’ll say this, in many ways it means trust. To be courageous is to trust, because it means that you can let go of everything you think you know. Everything you think you know. That’s what I mean when I say courage. Think about everything you know. What do you know? What do you know about anything, about your life, about life? What do you know? What do you think you know? This is why it’s the esoteric move, because everything you think is a part of the fabrication. It is a part of the illusion. Even your name is not real. It’s a symbol. It’s an idea.

What is a name? What is any name? Whether it’s your name, whether it’s Brian, right, whether it’s Chad, whether it’s Victor, or whether it’s the name of a river. We say river. This is a river. This is a tree, or this is a plant. This is a dog. What is that? Those are symbols, letters, words, symbols, sounds. They’re not real. What’s real is the direct experience with these things, the direct experience you have with yourself, the direct experience you’re having in the now, in the moment. That, brother, is the only thing that we can ever know.

[0:21:40] KA: What I mean is to let go of anything that ever happened, because it didn’t. Let go of any plan you have in the future, because it’s not there. It can change at any minute. Now, you might be asking about, well, what about manifestation? Well, manifestation is an intention. It’s not a plan. To be courageous is to let go. To be courageous is not to be afraid of something and move anyway. It’s to let go of the idea that fear exists at all. It is not the courage of this world, of the third dimensional world. It’s not the exoteric courage. It’s the courage of the real world, the real world that you came from and the real world that you’ve always lived. That’s what I mean when I say you’re awakened, brother, when I say you’re enlightened.

That is the world you live in. You live in the real world. Not the world of the matrix. I mean, you can live in the world of the matrix, but if you’re listening to this podcast, you probably don’t. You have forgotten where your real home is, but you’ve never left it, because it’s here and now. The matrix is the illusion of what’s next, what’s next, what’s next, or the resentment of what was, what was, what was, or the guilt. But where you’re really from does not exist in those stories. Those stories are just the part of the beta condition and to drive you into fear, protection, safety, comfort.

Courage is the first step that will lead you into your remembering that you’re already awake. Everything in the world of form forces you into a place of weakness. Everything in the world of form forces you into this state of weakness, into this deep conditioning of the beta. Separation itself is weakness. That is the illusion. True courage is denying the effect of separation. It’s not accepting separation, being afraid of it, and then moving with it. It’s denying it completely. You aren’t alone. In fact, the you that you think you are doesn’t really even exist. That’s what I’m saying. You’re not your name. You’re not your identity. You’re not your occupation. You’re not your nationality. You’re not your religion. You’re not all the beliefs. You’re not your hobbies, right? A goal for a basketball player, or whatever.

Only the you that exists in the state of all oneness, that’s what really exists. this is where your courage is. It can’t be threatened. It can’t be changed. You can’t even die. The person I’m talking about in you doesn’t even die. Now I might have taken a big step. Like, “Whoa, what is he talking about? Are we all vampires?” No, I’m not talking about vampirism. I’m talking about death cannot touch the you that is perceived by the all oneness. There’s nothing to be afraid of in this world. The you I’m talking about is the eternal soul, not the beta condition. I’m talking about the alpha state.

To the beta condition, death is the victory, because it proves that it’s a version, it proves that the beta’s version of the world is true, that you can die. But the death that the beta condition perceives is an illusion. It’s not a real end. Why would you be afraid of that? That’s really what we’re afraid of. That’s what we’re all afraid of. When it comes down to it, it’s all time, time and death. Courage is to let go of that by letting go of the idea that there is either time or death.

[0:25:33] KA: You are an eternal being, brother. You are a being of light. Be courageous and know that. As the body ages, as the body decays, as the body dies, it’s not who you are. You know this in many ways. I mean, I talked to men that are 40, 50, 60-years-old and they still feel like they’re in their twenties and thirties. That’s how I feel. I’m in my forties and I feel like I’m in my twenties. My body is obviously not in its twenties. I saw a picture of myself in my twenties. My body was different.

My face, right? There are lines in my face. Now I’m losing my hair, or I’ve lost it. I’ve lost it. One or the other. It’s very thin. I am not my body. I don’t feel 40, brothers. I feel like I’m in my teens, like I’m in my early twenties. I feel invincible. I feel immortal. I feel eternal. If that shocks you to hear, I mean, how do you feel? Do you feel old, decrepit? Do you feel like you’re falling apart? Let me tell you something, brother, if you think that, that will happen. If you put that out there as a thought, as a belief, as an intention or whatever, that’s going to happen.

But I don’t feel that way. You know what? I’m not even afraid for when that does happen. I know my body’s going to age. I know my body’s a part of this dream world. I know it’s a part of the illusion. I know it’s not going to be young and fit and healthy forever. Even though I feel like I’m in my twenties, I know my body is in its forties and I know it’s going to be in its fifties and its sixties eventually. I’m not afraid of that. I’m not afraid of my body getting older and dying any more than I’m afraid of the clothes that I’m wearing falling into ruin, becoming holy and tearing and eventually falling apart. I’m not afraid of that.

I know that everything moves towards entropy. I know this. Things will get old and I’m not afraid of that. I mean, when I say it’s a part of life and not in any cliché. Just as a way it is. I’m not afraid of my body’s natural end, but I know I’m not my body and I release this fear. Now, for that you release this fear. When you do, everything else will fall into its natural place and you will not be afraid of anything. That is courage. It means, focusing on what is, not what isn’t. That’s where you find courage. What is the now, the present, the direct experience that that is love, that is love. If love is too connotated for you, if it’s too much of some emotion that you feel like you lack, you’re like, “Oh, I don’t have love in my life, so I don’t want to think of everything as love because it depresses me.” Fine, then don’t think about love like that.

Everything is energy. How about that? Everything is now. Everything is present. Everything is here. Everything is abundant. Everything is source. Everything is right here. There’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s all here. Brothers, if you let go of the concept of death, then you will discover a wealth of strength that you didn’t know possessed. That is the spiritual path to know that you are not this material being, going through a material experience. You are a spiritual being going through a material experience. That makes you eternal.

[0:28:44] KA: I’m going to offer this. This week, spend some time imagining yourself as the enlightened being that you are, as the awakened man that you are, filled with courage and imagine how you would walk through this world when courage is yours. As it is yours. I want to offer that you spend time with that today. Courage. The courage to walk through this life as an eternal being to let go of your fear of death. The only fear that ever is, because any other fear you think you have is just related back to that. It’s related back to some time conclusion, whether it’s a deadline that making you procrastinate, or whether it’s a rejection that’s deeply seated in your ancestral cellular fears, it doesn’t matter. It’s all coming back to the fear of death, fear of time ending.

There’s nothing to be afraid of, because time will never end for you. Maybe that’s a fear. Maybe it creates fear for you to know that you’re eternal. But if that’s the case, then it still has to do with your mind and separation. You’ll be locked in a state of lack for all eternity, but you cannot. That cannot be. There is no lack. Lack is the illusion. Lack is just as much an illusion as separation is. They play off of each other, have the courage to let go of the concept of death, brother, and you will discover so much empowerment. That’s what I have for you today. I love you, my friends. I will see you next week and until next week, elevate your alpha.


[0:30:23] ANNOUNCER: Thank you for listening to this episode of The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. If you enjoy what you’ve heard and want even more, sign up for Unleash Your Alpha: Your Guide to Shifting to the Alpha Mindset at thealphamalecoach.com/unleash.



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