Ep #213: The Third Duality

[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”no” equal_height_columns=”no” menu_anchor=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”” id=”” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_position=”center center” background_repeat=”no-repeat” fade=”no” background_parallax=”none” parallax_speed=”0.3″ video_mp4=”” video_webm=”” video_ogv=”” video_url=”” video_aspect_ratio=”16:9″ video_loop=”yes” video_mute=”yes” overlay_color=”” video_preview_image=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” padding_top=”” padding_bottom=”” padding_left=”” padding_right=”” type=”legacy”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ layout=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” border_position=”all” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding_top=”” padding_right=”” padding_bottom=”” padding_left=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” center_content=”no” last=”true” min_height=”” hover_type=”none” link=”” border_sizes_top=”” border_sizes_bottom=”” border_sizes_left=”” border_sizes_right=”” first=”true”][fusion_text]

Today we are exploring the third duality: power and shame. We have already talked about scarcity versus abundance, and pleasure versus pain, and this piece of the puzzle is all about action, brothers. As I mentioned before we can split these dualities according to their types of energy, either blocked or flowing, and I am here to tell you about how you can get into an empowered, flowing state of action!

The message here concerns movement and willpower. We should not misunderstand power in this instance as power over something or someone, but rather the power to do and to take steps in our lives. This is strongly linked to our sense of self-esteem, and when we are in alignment, nothing seems difficult or impossible. 

When we develop our power, and a sense of our own individual decision-making, we do not need to conform in any limiting way. Cooperation and collaboration are such wonderful things, but blind conformity never serves us, brothers. I want to teach you how to exercise inner power in integrative and healthy ways, and this is where power becomes a verb. It is all about getting back in touch with our true selves, and shedding the shackles that hold us back!

What Youll Learn from This Episode:

  • Escaping shame and being frozen.
  • Reframing our understanding of power. 
  • How to develop our inner power. 
  • The wrong kinds of obedience and submission.  
  • Unblocking our energy and shame!

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

  • Enroll for the Elevated Alpha Society Spartan Academy here.
  • Sign up for Unleash Your Alpha, your guide to shifting to the Alpha mindset.


[00:00:09] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast, the only podcast that teaches men the cognitive mastery and alpha mindset that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence.

Here’s your host, certified life coach and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud.


[00:00:32] KA: What’s up my brothers? Welcome back to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. I am your host, Kevin Aillaud. I’m still in Oregon, which is wild, because usually at this time of year, I wouldn’t be still in Oregon. It’s October, right? And in Oregon – well at least, where my house is, where my brother lives, it’s in Portland. As you guys know, Portland, Oregon’s Pacific Northwest. I’m not talking about Eugene or like Medford, Southern Oregon or even Eastern Oregon, where you get a lot more sun. In Portland in the suburbs, you get very little sun, it has to do with the way that mountain ranges work, it has to do with the way Portland is set into kind of a valley. The way the weather patterns are at the coast, and all the things that happen, with the unique topography of the landscape. But usually, at this time of year, going into October, it becomes very rainy, very cold, very dark, but it is still beautiful outside, brothers. It is blue skies, very few clouds, but just beautiful. I think it’s hanging in there for me. I think it’s hanging in there for me until I head back overseas, which I will let you guys know about as that occurs. But right now, I’m enjoying my time in Oregon, and I’m enjoying my time with you guys going through these dualities. 

Today is going to be the last duality, the third duality. There’s only three of them. We’re only going to do three of them and then we’re going to get into some really, really amazing stuff. In fact, I’m going to jump into it right now. Let’s just get into it, because I want to begin with universal truth. I want to begin with just a very quick recap of the universal truth, and how the universal truth, how these components of the universal truth, they work into these dualities, and give you a glimpse into kind of what’s going to be the content of the podcasts in the future, which has a lot to do with everything we’ve been talking about. As well as how you can start to really look at the difference between the way the world is versus the way you’re distorting the world to be, the way you’re making it be for specific reasons. Of course, that’s the beta condition, to avoid pain, right? Like we make the world a certain way to adjust ourselves around whatever trauma, whatever pain we have hung on to from our past, and that’s what we’re going to get into. Because that’s like – releasing that, that is the move.

But remember, brothers, universal truth is that there’s circumstances in the world like time happens, existence happens. As existence happens, we as humans go through a process of making it means something and determining how we experience it, which is kind of the same thing, but just in a process. So first, we have the circumstance, we have the time, we have the present moment. Then, we interpret it, we get a thought about it. Whatever the data is, the circumstance is that outer data, it’s sensory information, it’s something that we see, something we smell, something we taste, something we touch, something we hear, and it’s physical energy from the outside, from outside of us. But it turns into the thought because that sensory information, that physical energy from outside it comes becomes inner data, it becomes story and inspiration. There’s a thought that we attach to, we make it mean — this of course comes from our memory and our past. It’s not like the circumstance itself has an inherent thought, has an inherent story about it. The story is actually from somewhere else.

But we reach within that place to get the story, we use that in that inner data and that’s the mental energy that we experience. That mental energy, as you guys know creates vibrational energy, creates vibrational data, which is also inner data, but it’s vibration, it’s emotion. That’s the astral energy. So we have the mental energy, the astral energy, then we have the actions, we have the inner data that we call movement and action that turns into another physical energy. But a physical energy from the inside that innovates our body to act. That’s what we’re going to be talking about a lot about today, because we’re talking about the third duality. The first duality is in thought, the second duality is in feeling, and the third duality is in action. So we’re going to talk about that. Then we get the result.

You can see that the framework of the universal truth, even though, even though it’s all really happening simultaneously, it’s just the brain that slows down time in order to create the process that we know is the model of alignment. This process of electrical thought creating chemical emotion, motivating the signaling through the chemical reaction, the action of movement. That’s how it moves, that’s how it works as we observe it, but it’s only because the brain slows everything down so that we can observe it. It’s actually happening at the very same time energetically, right? Because energetically, everything is happening now. So we have that, and that’s the review that I kind of want to put you guys through because I want you to know that when we talk about these dualities, we’re really just talking about the way we sample these energies, the way we sample mental energy, the way we sample astral energy, and the way we sample physical energy. Because each duality correlates to a different type or realm of energy, or experience. Energy and experience are the same thing because we’re always just experiencing energy. 


While the first duality, the duality of scarcity and abundance correlates to the realm of mental energy is because it’s a thought, it’s how we approach the mental aspect of existence. Pleasure and pain, the second duality, and that’s the energy of our vibration, because that’s how we approach pleasure and pain through the vibration. That’s our experience, like we label pleasure and pain based on the vibration. It’s not based on the thought. We don’t have pleasurable and painful thoughts, we do have pleasurable painful thoughts, but only because they’re correlated with the vibration. We don’t have pleasurable or painful actions, we do only because they’re driven from the vibration. That’s the duality in the second, so it comes from feeling.

Today, we’re going to talk about the third duality, which is empowerment versus shame, or power versus powerlessness. That is the action. That’s the I can, that’s the very strong movement. But these dualities are also energies that operate in either stuck, stored, or blocked way. So they can get stuck, they can get stored or they can be flowing. Now, when I talk about blocked energy, I’m talking about the scarcity in the first duality, the pain in the second duality, and the shame or the powerlessness in the third duality. When I talk about flowing energy, we’re talking about abundance in the first duality, pleasure in the second duality, and power, which is going to be the bulk of this podcast episode in the third duality, which we’re going to talk about today. 

Also understand that these energies can be moving, flowing, or blocked. If they’re blocked, that’s where we get our suffering from, that’s the cause of our suffering. That’s the energy that we’re hanging on to, it’s a blocked energy, it’s not passing through us, or hanging on to a belief of a mental energy, which becomes a thought, a limiting belief. We’re hanging on to a vibration of feeling, which is an indulgent emotion, we’re just feeling over and over, or we’re hanging on to some kind of action, a habit that we’re repeating over and over. This is the can. That’s what we’re going to talk about today, the can do. Let’s talk about this duality, brothers. Let’s get into this now, because there’s more review I can talk about, but we’re going to talk about that later. Like this review, come in to the academy, just coming to the academy, I’ll give you the review, we’ll go through all of this, we’ll get your energy flowing, we’ll get it moving, so it’s not blocked, it’s not stored, it’s not stuck, we’ll get it moving so they’re all flowing, and they’re all working for you. So you’re seeing the world the way it is, you’re seeing the world through the flow of energy rather than through any sort of distortion or blockage.

Let’s talk about the third duality now. Let’s begin here, brothers, because I’ve already told you that it’s the duality of empowerment versus shame. That’s what you know, you know what the contrast is, but it comes from the action, it comes from that third part or the A line of the model of alignment, because we’re talking about movement. This duality is about movement. This duality is about, I can. Remember the first duality is about, I have. It’s about thought, it’s mental, it’s about, I have. Do I have? Is there enough for me? First of all, is there enough abundance? Is there enough? That’s the abundance. Second of all, am I worthy of what there is? Can I have it? Can I have enough? It’s abundance. 

The second duality is I feel. What am I worthy? What do I deserve to feel? Do I deserve to feel pain or do I deserve to feel pleasure? We have that abundance. This third duality is about, I can. It’s about doing, it’s about action, it’s about movement, it’s about the willpower, the empowered self. That’s why shame is the opposite in this duality because shame freezes you, shame kind of halts you in your actions, it freezes your actions, halts you in place, it drives you into hiding. That’s why shame is powerlessness. When you’re feeling powerless, you’re feeling shame. That’s why we have the duality of power or powerlessness or empowerment versus shame.

Let’s talk about power. I think power has gotten a bad name. I think power has got a really bad name actually, because they say power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. I aim to pull on the string of that statement, and see if we can unravel this sweater. Because when we become comfortable with our own inner power, we empower ourselves, we begin to develop self-confidence and self-esteem. This is so important. We can create some kind of false humility, we can’t drive ourselves into shame, because we’ve been told that if we have power that we will become corrupted. It’s the same as money, right? Like money corrupts, money is the root of all evil. What does that create for us, that creates poverty for us, because we don’t want to be evil, right? If we believe that power corrupts, then we’re going to be weak. We’re going to be in a state of shame. We’re going to be in that state of the opposite, the powerlessness. 

We don’t want to allow this to happen, because when it does happen, we get strength to our will. When we have empowerment, when we give ourselves power, we have strength to our will, to our force, and we can better direct our lives towards that, which we love, and that which nourishes us, challenges us, and renews us. But brothers, this requires power, this requires power, requires empowerment, inner power, whatever you want to call it, versus the shame that we are currently cultivating in our beta condition. Now, first of all, I’m talking about the duality of power versus shame. Right? I’m talking about personal power, empowerment of the self, establishing a strong can-do attitude. It’s you taking action, it’s you doing. It’s actionable, impossible goal type stuff. It’s the Ethan Hunt-type stuff. It’s the Mission Impossible, like there is no mission that is impossible. I can do. I am empowered. I have a strong sense of inner power, the kind of empowerment that says, “When the game is on the line, give me the ball. I’m the one that will handle it.


Now, the question, of course, brothers, is how do we develop and maintain this personal power as alpha men within a culture and educational system that teaches powerlessness as a way to foster social cooperation? I mean, what happens when creative thinkers, and I’m talking about children and adults, all right? What happens when creative thinkers, children and adults are seen as deviance to be ostracized from society? Well, conformity is lauded and reinforced. I think you all know that I’m not against cooperation. Okay, I’m not against cooperation. When I say that, I strongly believe in collaboration. I think humans can achieve more through innovation and through prosperity by working together than they will ever do by working alone. That being said, when cooperation is enforced, when we are into some kind of forced cooperation, without any individual desire, without choice, without vitality, without passion from the powerful inner self, then that cooperation simply becomes an act of submission, which cripples our senses of power, and it actually lowers our self-esteem.

Look, brothers, we need to remember that power is not just okay, it is desirable to cultivate as an alpha male. We have been told that when we are powerful, we’ve been told as men that when we’re powerful, that when we’re being powerful men that we’re toxic, that we’re evil masculine, but that’s not true. Or at least, it doesn’t have to be true, because sometimes it is true. I’m going to explain the difference here in a moment. But in order to develop and allow this energy to flow at third duality, we have to look at how we exercise that inner power. Rather than turning it into shame, rather than turning it insecurity which results as an expression of domination of one part over another. Rather than doing that, we can maintain and develop our inner power as an integration with all the forces of life.

Instead of it being a noun, instead of power being this noun, something that we have, something that we have over others, power over, we can make power a verb. The alpha male makes power a verb, something that we do, is expressing our actions, in our actions of I can, which is power within. This duality replaces power over others with power to take action. That’s the power I’m talking about. Remember, this is why shame is the opposite. Power is not power over others, it’s the power to do, it’s the power to move. It’s the power to take massive action. When we feel shame, or when we are in the expression of shame, we are not doing, we’re hiding. We’re not showing up powerfully in action, and we’re very much withdrawn. The power I’m talking about, the empowerment here is power to take action, is power to do, is power to get out of your bed when the alarm goes off. Power to get out of the bed, make your bed. It’s power to follow through on going for that morning jog, or going to the gym. It’s power to make the calls that you want to make, or create the habit that you want to make, or stop the behavior that you want to stop. That’s why it’s about action, it’s power, it’s will.

Be clear, brothers. I’m talking about power to do, not power over others. That’s why power is given a bad rep. We need it. Very quickly, I just want to draw this out for a moment, because I do this with my students in the academy as well. But very briefly, I want you guys to see. This is actually a part of the spiritual journey, because – can you see the dichotomy between these perspectives of power? Can you see how power over represents a separateness? In order for me to have power over, there must be an us versus them. There must be a me versus you mentality. If I’m going to have power over something, there must be something to have power over. Whereas power to take action, power to do is coming from my own inner source, it’s connected to the energy of the universe, is connected to the all oneness. There’s no other. It’s all one. This is why we have a skewed view of power, and why we reject it, or misuse it from our beta conditioning.

Our dominant worldview as humans living the worldly path is one that emphasizes separateness. It emphasizes separateness, comparison, and competition. Very few humans are on the spiritual path. Very few, it’s just the way it is. Even our sciences, our sciences look at nature in reductionist terms. They dissect matter to smaller and smaller units. Western medicine does the same. Western medicine treats the body as a collection of separate parts rather than seeing the mind, body, emotion as a whole. We look at people and segregate. We segregate by countries, by land, by cultures, by races, by genders. We separate everything into little tiny bits of data to be counted, and carried, coordinated through control by those who aim to exercise power over. But this takes constant effort and vigilance, because shame, which leads to fear, control, and power over the other. This is why this is the other side of this duality. Shame is fear. Shame is control.


All of that is very time-consuming. It’s a very energy-expending process, like it takes a lot of energy to exercise power over other things and other people. We see this all the time in very general terms. People are forced into submission, constantly intimidated. Thereafter, they must be watched and carefully guarded. That takes time and effort. Positions are never secure. They require constant defenses. You have to be constantly be in defense of your position. That takes time and effort. Sometimes we go too far, sometimes we deplete our inner resources, we go and we steal resources from some other place that we consider to be the other. That also takes time and resources. It takes effort. Sometimes even puts us into conflicts and war. We see all of this as simply increasing our power, our power over. We increase our dominance, and our dominion and so we have more power over. Can you see it, brother? It happens many, many times and has many, many faces. It comes in the face of war, conflicts, pandemics. These are just the obvious ones.

When it seems our outer world is ruled by strangers, we see only through machines. We’ve lost touch of our inner self. We’ve lost touch of the true power within. When this happens, it makes individuals easy to control, easily manipulated into serving some larger body that promises to return elements of our lost power to us bit by bit. Maybe, through participating in our job, we will receive a symbol of our freedom known as a paycheck or salary. The more we do what we hate, the more we show up at this job by participating, and diminish our inner resources, our inner power, the greater the promise of reward. It’s like the thief that dangles the carrot on the stick in front of you while stealing your lifeforce from behind your back. We’ve become so lost in the illusion of separateness that we are no longer engaged with our power within. We are no longer connected. That power, that is connection itself, the power of connection, union, and fire. The power of action, of will. Without this connection, we stagnate, we lose our enthusiasm, we lose our willpower, we lose our desires. Without our inner power, the knowing that drives movement and action, we lose the desire to innovate, and we remain stuck in buffering or some other low vibration behavior.

Look, brothers, a few weeks ago, I told you that we are in an age of punishment. I did a whole podcast on it, and it was about blaming fault, and finger-pointing, and looking outward to see both the problem and the cause of the problem. We look outward from ourselves all the problems in the world and the cause of the problems also in the world. Well, we both know that’s not true. We all know that’s not true. There really are no problems, because every cause of the problem is inside, but that’s what we know. But that being said, I also believe that we are in a submissive paradigm as well. We’re in an age of punishment, we’re also in a very submissive paradigm. I believe that due to our blocked energy around this duality, the third duality, there are far more people submitting than dominating. Think about that, and listen to what I said. I’m not talking about dominating over each other. You guys know that, I just spent most of this episode talking about how we are not dominating over each other. 

I’m talking about just dominating. I’m talking about dominating over your own life. Most people are submitting to their own lives rather than dominating over their own lives. I’m talking about living the life you want to live because you can and you were taught that you can. So the energy of this duality is flowing freely and empowering you to take massive action consistently. But that’s not what’s happening. People are not dominating in that way. Instead, people are submitting, that’s why I built the academy. That’s what I teach, obviously. Because we are taught that as kids, we are taught to dominate our lives, we’re taught to submit, we’re taught to submit from a very young age, we’re taught to submit to everyone from a very young age. First to our parents, to our teachers, into clergy, bosses, law enforcement, and government officials. Given the way that we’re raised, given that we’re trained to submit from the very beginning of our conditioning, is it any surprise what transpired during the pandemic? 

I mean, the government basically said one thing, and everybody just did it. There was no thinking there was no inner power, there was no personal power. There was just obey, obedience. There’s okay, okay, okay. There was no inner will to take conscious mindful action. Then when the government switched what they said, like within weeks, they just switch, they said the opposite, then everybody just switched along with it. Then this happened a few more times, because nobody really knew what to do, including the government. But we all just think that the government knows what to do, so we just go along with it because we’re abdicating our inner power. Everybody’s just submitted to an external authority without any attention given to their own inner authority, the inner power. That’s just an example brothers of how we are in a submissive paradigm.


The pandemic is low-hanging fruit. I’m not making this a political podcast. I’m just talking about the pandemic, because it’s obvious. It’s a very clear example of low-hanging fruit. It’s an easy target of how most human beings are simply in a submissive mindset, because they’re lacking that interpersonal power, they’re lacking that inner, that’s strong that I, that I am, that I can do. In the current submissive paradigm, the power is placed outside ourselves. There is very little sense of personal power, and that leads to shame, it leads to a feeling of powerlessness. If we look for power outside, we will look to others for direction and find ourselves at best lost at the mercy of others and setting ourselves up for victimization. That’s at best. Abdication of our personal power has far deeper ramifications that can manifest than express in physical form as well as in financial terms. 

With blocked energy in this duality, there may be an urge to constantly seek stimulation, to constantly seek excitement, and activity. Look, brothers, if this is you, listen to this. If you have blocked energy in this duality, if you’re feeling shame, then there may be an urge to constantly seek stimulation. Shame is the number one F line that gets buffered. That’s why this is the part of the third duality, because we’re so missing, so many of us, so many humans are missing that are not in touch with the inner power and therefore feeling shame. That’s why there’s such a distraction. It’s why such a market for distraction, it’s such a market for buffering. Because with blocked energy here, with blocked energy in the third duality, you’re going to feel shame and when you feel shame, you’re going to seek, you’re going to constantly seek stimulation, excitement, and activity. You’re going to be afraid to want to slow down and really connect with that emotion, so you can release and allow that blocked energy to pass through you. Blocked energy in this duality will also express through engaging in activities as a way to get noticed, to create validation, or to be seen is to have your ego strengthened. All the ways of trying to get power from external sources, external validation.

Remember, brothers, power without purpose is mere whim at best. Power without purpose is extremely dangerous at worst. Power is a form of energy, just like survival is a form of energy. Survival is the energy of the first duality, is mental energy. Sexuality is the energy of the second duality, its vibrational energy. Power is the energy of the third duality, it is physical energy the energy to act, the energy that says I can. That kind of power, that kind of action without purpose can be dangerous. Brothers, just like electricity, think about electricity, think about the power in electricity. Just like electricity must be directed through cables and wires in order for its power to be manifested in order for us to have light or any type of power. In order for us to get any type of electricity has to go through a conduit, a cable, a wire. Similarly, your life energy must be directed by consciousness before you can make use of it with any true sense of power flowing from this energy vortex.

This is the aim of cognitive mastery and emotional ownership to remove the blocked energy, and allow the consciousness to flow with the energy establishing a foundation in abundance, pleasure, and empowerment. One, two, three. Dualities one, two, and three, abundance, pleasure, and empowerment. We must be able to understand the relationship between these things, my friends. We must be able to perceive and assimilate new information to adjust our actions in a way that offers maximum results. This can only happen when we engage in the spiritual path. This can only happen when we elevate our alpha. We must be able to create and imagine events outside of present time and space. This is also part of our empowerment. We must have knowledge, reasoning, and memories.

Power, therefore is as much a part of the spiritual journey, if not more than a part of a spiritual journey than it is to the worldly journey. If you choose the worldly journey, then you have the connotation of power over and you live in separation. If you choose the spiritual path, the alpha path, then you have the connotation of power to and live in connection between your inner and outer world. There is so, so, so much more, brothers, I want to say about power. It’s something we focus on so much in the academy. As we grow towards a greater understanding of consciousness and the spiritual world, we will find that we evolve our concepts of power and empowerment. This will only come from within, within you, and you, and you, and each one of you listening. This is the path. This is the alpha path. This is what I’ve been talking to you about for years. It’s a spiritual path, the path of cognitive mastery, and emotional ownership is the spiritual path. The path of the serious and the playful.

For those who seek inner peace and outer prosperity, go to thealphamalecoach.com and enroll in the academy now. Look, October is going to be so much fun. I know it’s October 7th if you’re listening to this on Friday. It could be October 8th, 9th, or 10th. But go now to the academy and enroll now, get into the curriculum because October is all about organization. It’s all about organization of these energies, organization of your thought, energy, your feeling energy, your actionable energy. It’s all about this, these dualities. the next couple of podcasts, I’m going to go so much more deep into that. 

So, enroll today and begin your journey. I will tell you more about that next week. In the meantime, you can go to thealphamalecoach.com and get started. I’ll see you in the academy. Until next week, elevate your alpha.


[00:26:01] ANNOUNCER: Thank you for listening to this episode of The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. If you enjoy what you’ve heard and want even more, sign up for Unleash Your Alpha: Your Guide to Shifting to the Alpha Mindset at thealphamalecoach.com/unleash.



Scroll to Top