Today’s episode is all about the future, brothers. I want to help you let go of the past and move into the new you, the real you, the you that you want to be! I will be discussing the idea of surrender, and the first point in this discussion is to remove this word’s negative connotation. I want us to reposition our understanding of surrender as ceasing resistance to oneself. We all encounter the problems and fallacies of trying to be what we are not, and what we are not meant to be. When we can truly surrender to the truth, we enter a state of awareness, where we are able to seek self-knowledge and inner truth!
The best way to understand this all, is through the analogy of a car. I want you to imagine that your body is the car, the passenger is your mind, and the driver is your spirit. When we listen to the mind, we are taking direction from the wrong authority. The mind is misleading, brothers, and although it wants to help us, we should be listening to the soul, the actual driver. The mind is not the enemy, it is a creative force that we can work with, it is a powerful part of you that you need to keep in context and use with purpose.
I have spoken before about where this need of the mind to control comes from, and it is rooted in our past, our need for safety, and from a place of fear. Letting the mind make decisions for us leads to people-pleasing and the need for external validation, exactly what you do not want! We all experience the external pressures of the world, when what we really need is to get back to our true nature and see through to our true potential. When we surrender to this, we decondition ourselves and meet our real self.
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What You’ll Learn From this Episode:
- Redefining surrender and removing its misleading connotations.
- Understanding the relationship between the body, mind, and spirit.
- Liberating yourself from the control of the mind.
- Returning to the true path of our lives.
- Entering into a state of awareness, self-knowledge, and inner truth.
- The magic that occurs when we surrender.
Putting together the unique puzzle pieces of who you are.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
ANNOUNCER: Welcome to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast, the only podcast that teaches men the cognitive mastery and alpha mindset that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence. Here’s your host, certified life coach and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud.
[0:00:32.8] What’s up, my brothers? Welcome back to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. I am your host, Kevin Aillaud and I am making the official announcement right here, right now that on Saturday, April 17th, I am holding a webinar to explain and open the application process for the Guide Coach Certification Program. Now, I am really excited about this new program because in this course, in this program, I will teach you the methodology I use to guide my students into self-discovery, as well as open the doors for employing coaches in the academy.
The Guide Coach Program will teach you and train you into answering three questions. The aim of this course is for you to know the answer to these three questions. Number one, what is the nature of reality, number two, who am I, not who am I, not who is Kevin Aillaud but who are you, who am I, you’re asking that question, who am I and what are other people. On the webinar, I will explain and go through the sciences that I use to build my methodology, I will talk about the content of the program, the benefits of completing the program and I will answer all questions about the application process and enrollment.
I am really excited and you can find the link to the webinar on The Alpha Male Coach website. Now, registration is not necessary. Just show up to the webinar to have your questions answered live and if you don’t make it to the live webinar, a replay will be on the website following the live broadcast. However, the first class of the Guide Coach Certification Program will fill up quickly. So if you’re interested, it behooves you to be at the live webinar so that you have the opportunity to enroll, to fill out the application to receive the application and have the opportunity to enroll early.
[0:02:37.0] Okay brothers, let’s get into the podcast. Now, as you know, I work with humans who are interested in their future. I work with humans who are aiming to discover their purpose, their inner truth. I rarely deal with the past. I do have a curriculum in the academy on rewriting your past, however, it is the conditioning from our past that determines the illusion of identity, it’s our conditioning that makes us think we are someone we are not. This podcast episode is about the future, letting go and allowing the person you think you are to move aside, to steps aside so that the person you really are can step into its role as the true authority in your life.
Now, this podcast is about surrender and when I say the word “surrender”, most people, especially men, most people, especially men, have a negative connotation with that word. They think it’s synonymous with weakness, right? If you surrender, you’re weak, if you surrender then you’ve lost. If you surrender then you haven’t done something right. The battle is over and you lost the battle. In this case, the way I’m going to explain it to you, nothing can be further from the truth. The definition of surrender is to cease resistance to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority.
The problem with this definition is the words enemy or opponent. I want to offer you in this podcast that you surrender to yourself, who is neither your enemy nor your opponent. In fact, you are surrendering the not-self to yourself, you are surrendering the condition self to your true self, you’re surrendering the beta condition to the alpha state. Here is the thing, brothers, as you know, humans are more than physical beings, there is of course the physical component of the self, right? The body, the blood, the hair, the skin, all the things that go on here. However, there’s also the mind and there’s also the spirit. These three components make up the totality of the being, of the human being, that’s why that’s the human being, the human is the body, the being is the mind and spirit.
[0:04:54.4] Human being, we are total, we are whole. I have always said this. I’ve coded the terms “alpha state” to mean spirit and beta condition to mean the mind. You see, your alpha state is the inner truth that is always you and has the power to guide your mind, which is the beta condition. Your mind is not an authority, your spirit is, your alpha state is the authority.
Consider this analogy. Okay, I’m going to tell you guys a story in this podcast, you guys know I love stories, you know I love analogies, it really – I’m a teacher, it really helps me to explain complex concepts in a very simple way. Consider this analogy. Your body is a vehicle. Your spirit is the driver of the vehicle, and your mind is a passenger in the vehicle.
Now, your vehicle can be anything you want, right? You can be a limousine, you can be a Bentley, you can be a Cadillac, you can be a Honda if you want. It makes no difference as long as you allow the analogy to have a back seat in your vehicle where the passenger sits, right? Now, this is where the mind sits, right? Your mind is the passenger. Now, it’s your vehicle that travels through the experience because this is your body and where you begin your journey is where you start, this is where you’re born and where you end your journey, this is the finish, right? This is the death of the body.
[0:06:18.9] Now, during this journey of life, your driver, the spirit, your alpha state knows exactly where to go and how to get there. From the moment you are born until the moment you die, your driver knows the route to take without flaw and this isn’t to say that your life is predetermined. I’m not talking about pre-determinism here because the driver is still in control of the vehicle. There is still the knowing of the path and the choices made along the path. If your life were predetermined, I’d be using a different analogy, there would be no driver, right? Your vehicle would be on tracks like a train or a street car. You just kind of be going wherever the vehicle goes with no choice on turning right’s, turning left’s, going straight, reversing and so on.
Your life isn’t predetermined, however, you have a driver, the alpha state that knows your purpose and knows the way to achieve your purpose. Once again, this is your spirit, this is your true self, this is your alpha state. Now remember, your mind, the mind, the beta condition is in the backseat. During the course of your childhood, you took on all the conditioning from your environment. Remember, that’s what the beta condition is, you are conditioned by your family, your friends, your teachers, your education, your society, your religion, all of it. Due to this conditioning, your mind that took on the conditioning began to become the authority in your life, you developed a personality and belief system based on what other people told you about yourself and based on who other people told you to be or who you were supposed to be, right?
[0:07:53.3] Do this, this is who you are, that’s what you’re supposed to be. Now you have this passenger in the backseat of the vehicle, yelling directions at the driver and your driver is just wanting to be a good driver, right? Check this out, when you get into a taxi, you go do a different city, different country, different city but you think you know where your hotel is, right? You come out the airport, you think you know where your hotel is because you go this, the maps or whatever, the Google Maps which are so wrong in other countries by the way.
I have no idea. I don’t know why Google doesn’t work in other countries, it works but it just – it’s very inaccurate. It’s like, when you’re in a taxi and the taxi driver knows the city, the taxi driver knows how to get you where you’re going in the most efficient way but you’re in the backseat telling him or her where to go and getting all lost in the city. You’re completely lost because you’re saying, “Go right, go left,” he’s like, “Well, but the hotel is this way,” you’re saying, “But go right,” they just want to be a good driver like you’re the boss, right? You’re in the back seat, they’re just going where you’re telling them to go.
That’s the beta condition. You’re being the beta condition in that scenario because you’re the mind, you’re in the backseat yelling at the driver and taking your vehicle in all kinds of directions to all kinds of places that you aren’t meant to go. Now, understand this brother, because this is the cause of personal suffering and the source of all the suffering in the world.
[0:09:10.6] I’m going to explain that in a moment but I want you to understand that the reason why suffering exists for you and the reason why suffering exist in the world, is because people have subjugated their inner authority, they’ve subjugated their alpha state to the authority that is not an authority, which is the mind and now that mind through its conditioning is running the show. When the mind runs the show, we run into problems.
Before we go thinking that the mind, right? Or the beta condition is a bad thing, I want to take a step back and I want to remind you that the mind really does think that what it’s doing is best for you. Remember, you’ve been conditioned for the most part, in a way that you’ve determined will keep you safe. The driver yelling the direction really wants to have a great ride, right? The mind as the passenger, really wants to have the best ride possible, they want to have the best experience possible and they think they know how to do that. They aren’t intentionally going off road, it’s not intentionally getting you lost. They want to control the vehicle and believe they can do that in the best way.
They think that they know what’s best for the vehicle, they think they know where to go based on the conditioning of the childhood, based on the conditioning of what the parents told them or what the teachers told them or what the society told them, what the religion told them or what their education told them.
The mind through it conditioning really thinks it knows, it really thinks that it has a belief system that’s what’s best for you. It’s not a bad thing but there are two significant details that the passenger mind isn’t aware of. First, the passenger mind doesn’t know that your vehicle already has a driver, which is your alpha state, this is your inner spirit, this is your true self.
[0:10:53.1] Second, the passenger mind doesn’t know that your vehicle has its own GPS and it is hard wired into the universe, right? Your driver is using this GPS to determine the routes to take for this vehicle. Here’s the thing brother, our minds can no longer compete successfully in decision making with our alpha state. However, the mind does not understand this. The mind is still holding on to itself as an authority even though in relation to the alpha state, it has no authority. This is the momentous leap in evolution that humans are at a precipice to make.
The mind continues doing what it has always done, which is trying to direct your life. Do you remember the definition of surrender? I want to say again that this does not make the mind an enemy to be overcome, that’s what I’m – that’s what I don’t like about that definition, because the mind is not an enemy to be overcome or repressed or ignored. The mind is a creative force that is here to be worked with and befriended. It’s a part of you, the purpose of the mind, which it is perfectly suited for is to think and to dream and to inspire and to formulate and to process information and to make sense out of life and to be the first cause of creation.
[0:12:12.0] The mind is an amazing gift when it is freed from the decision-making process and used in the service of humanity. To serve ourselves and serve other humans. The mind is meant to be a tool for us and a teacher for others and what stops this, what prevents this from happening is our ignorance about the mechanics of how we are designed to function through time as beings having a human experience.
By making our mind an ally and liberating it from the task of decision-making so that it can settle comfortably into its role as a self-reflected conscious observer, which is the passenger enjoying the ride. Just let it chill, let the mind relax in the back seat, look out the window and go along for the ride. When we do that, when we allow our mind to do that, it will reveal for us and others its true treasures and it will make its rightful contributions to the world.
You see brothers, there is a part of who we are that is open to conditioning, just as there is a part of who we are that is indomitable and that we can always rely on. When we use our mind, when we use our beta condition to make decisions. Our conditioning takes over and we stray from who we are to become who we’ve been conditioned to be. We’re no longer acting as that alpha state who we truly are, we’re now acting as the conditioning, as someone else. Someone who told us that we are this or someone else who told us we should be that, since who we truly are is always reliable and indomitable.
[0:13:57.6] It is not really of much interest to the busy mind, right? The part that is not us, the condition part of us. That part becomes a deep source of attraction for the mind. It is what we start to long for. It is what we start to want, what we feel drawn to experience and what we think we have to have or want to be. Because we’ve been told for most of our lives that this is what we should have and this is what we should be. Unfortunately, the seduction of the attraction in this conditioning can lead us away from our true nature, which is our alpha state, which is why we do not live out our unique potential.
See, we’re all different. The problem is that we try to be what we are not meant to be and everything gets distorted. We become lost, we feel empty, we become lonely and we become caught up in chasing after what is constantly eluding us in our life because it is not for us. It’s for the person who told us that it is for us because it was for them or it was conditioned by someone else into them and then they just thought that that’s all we should be.
It is when we base our decisions on that ever changing and elusive desire on what is not coming from our alpha state and when we do this, it’s like trying to build a house on constantly shifting sand. Eventually, a false assumption begins to grow that this is our life, that this is who we are. That’s the belief, that’s the limiting belief state and the result is a sense of fatigue and failure along with all the suffering that comes along with it.
It comes in the form of frustration and bitterness and anger and disappointment with life and in your childhood, you develop this conditioning as a form of protection. Again, there is nothing wrong with this, I’m not throwing the beta condition under the bus here. I want you guys to know that, there is nothing right or wrong about it. It’s just a conditioning, it’s just not you. You developed this conditioning as a form of protection because it was protecting you and your body from being overcome, from being hurt by the experiences coming through your conditioning.
Your mind got caught up with your body’s fears, for it’s physical, mental and emotional wellbeing. It’s need for security and love and support and through the mind lacking, it began to feel fear. Those fears were then amplified, multiple times through confirmation bias, so your mind developed a hyper-vigilance to your environment by constantly looking for more confirmation bias. And it used how other people reacted or responded to you to keep you compromising your true self, always comparing yourself to other’s expectations and needs of you and it drove you to conform, in order to fit in.
[0:16:46.1] This is the people pleasing, this is the external validation seeking and to make life comfortable for you and for those around you, this is where your mind began to find refuge in people pleasing and external validation and you know what? It worked for a little while, right? From time to time it works, and there have even been rewarding tradeoffs. I’ll trade myself, I’ll sacrifice myself in a tradeoff that could be rewarding. But in the end, you always paid the price with suffering by being off your true path.
Each decision we make in life either keeps us on our path or takes us on a confusing and sometimes painful detour. You know, it either moves us closer to or further away from our true nature and purpose. Correct decisions made from our alpha state, from our true self will align us with our destiny and place us in relationships, locations, and jobs that are correct for us. When we make decisions by our mind from the beta condition, these decisions will cause us to veer from our course and when this happens, we find ourselves confronted by situations we are not equipped to deal with, making commitments that drain our energy and inhibit the use of our true talents.
Now, society places a huge emphasis on the mind, right? As you know, as a cognition coach I know this. Society places a huge emphasis on the mind, society places a huge emphasis on mental awareness and on making things happen through the force of mental effort, positive thinking and things like this. If you remember the puzzle of life, society wants us all to be the same. Society mistakes unity for uniformity. Society wants all people to do the same thing and believe the same thing.
Society believes that if we are all in the same page then we’ll all be united together. Nothing could be further from the truth. The truth is the more unique and different we are, the more we are united together because that is how a puzzle works. Not all images of the puzzle are the same, they cannot be the same. If they were the same then the puzzle doesn’t fit together. In order for the puzzle to be a whole complete unit, every piece of the puzzle must be different and society makes that mistake over and over again by confusing unity for uniformity.
This is why we are all trained to think a certain way and why we’re all trained to think about thinking a certain way. The conditioning pressure on us isn’t going away anytime soon. I don’t see any changes coming from society anytime soon. Since we are all raised from birth to be conditioned by our inner family, our larger community and the global humanity, the vast complexity and amplification of our conditioning easily exerts inordinate power over our lives.
[0:19:42.8] The beta condition has been running the show for so long and it has appeared in all corners of the world. The problem we have in the world are a result of the confused and chaotic mind, making decisions for the individuals, which then creates a global state of panic, divisiveness and conflict. And fortunately, our alpha state is ready to be elevated and bypass the illusions of the mind’s persuasion, so that the mind passenger can sit back and enjoy the ride allowing the alpha driver to drive.
This my brothers, this is called surrender. It is the state of awareness when we seek self-knowledge and inner truth. Now understand, this is not a surrender to an enemy. This is not a surrender to an opponent. This is a surrender to your true self. What you surrender to is allowing yourself to rise up and take the wheel of the vehicle so that the conditioned not-self can sit back and enjoy the ride through life.
This is an introduction to an authority. Your alpha state is your inner authority, it is your true authority and when you follow it, you eliminate suffering. You eliminate frustration, bitterness, anger, disappointment, everything else is an external authority including the beta condition. The mind is an external authority for two reasons. I know it seems as though the mind as an internal authority because it feels like it’s coming from within you but it is not.
It is an external authority for two reasons. First because it’s not you, it is the other people that laid a programming upon you, a programming of who they think they are who they told you, you should be and the way they think everybody should be. It feels like it is coming from you, it feels like it’s your personality. It isn’t, it’s the conditioned mind. It is your puzzle piece that is clearly showing an image of earth trying to fit into the image of the sky because your parents were images of the sky and they told you to be like the sky. You fit in the lower part of the puzzle, you fit in the part of the earth and brother, this is why you suffer.
[0:22:09.1] Now, the second reason the mind is an external authority is when we release ourselves from the conditioning of the other and live into our true selves, we allow our minds to take its rightful place, which is as a dreamer and a teacher. We are able to offer and contribute to others, not in a way that tells them the way they should be but in a way that allows them to be who they are with all of the value and the knowledge of what is.
As humans, we have evolved beyond external authorities. Unfortunately, the majority of humans continue to rely on external authorities. They’re both on their condition minds and those that aim to control us through our minds. The religions, the politics, the educational systems and the illusion of the senses. From all of these systems of external authority and control, we can transcend and set ourselves free.
The question probably arises, “How do we surrender coach?” How do we do it, coach? How do we surrender the authority of the mind? How do we surrender the beta condition over to the authority of the spirit, which is the alpha state and I want you to know that that question in it of itself involves a fallacy because there is no authority of the mind. The mind is not an authority, it appears to be an authority but it is not.
It is someone else but the surrendering of that someone else, the surrendering of that not-self beta condition over to the true self, which is the alphas state, that is really the trick, isn’t it? That’s the reason for the academy and that’s the reason why my students get such amazing results. You know, I talk about optimal health, massive wealth and amazing relationships but brother, this are the byproducts of living as your true self.
People into the academy looking for a specific outcome and derive from the academy a course-change on their path of life. They meet sometimes for the first time, who they really are. They meet themselves at the academy. The process is to decondition yourself from who you are not to recognize the aspects of yourself that are innate and indomitable and continue through life knowing that what is open for conditioning so that you can prevent any further mind directed illusions.
[0:24:14.4] To surrender to yourself, to allow your alpha state to live through the GPS in your vehicle and make decisions from an inner authority that keeps you on your path, your passion, your purpose and your potential. If you have the desire to know yourself, I want to offer right now on this podcast that you apply to enroll in the academy. If you are ready to surrender your conditioning over to your true self, begin the process today by applying to enrolling in the alpha academy.
The aim of the academy is to help you answer one question, who am I? If you want more information on the methodology I used then I would offer that you consider applying for the Guide Coach Program. Look brother, I’m going to tell you this because I’ve had a lot of questions on this. I’ve had a lot of emails ask me this. I’ve had a lot of Instagram messages ask me this. They talk about kids, if you have kids I highly recommend the Guide Coach Program.
It will help you understand your kids for who they are so that you can guide them to be who they are meant to be instead of who you think they should be, which is the same conditioning that you had as a kid because your parents conditioned you to be who they thought they were, who you thought they should be. We are always conditioning people the way we see the world, which is not the way they are. Everybody is unique, if we condition out someone else to be and see the world the way we see the world, then we are conditioning them to be like us and that is not what they’re meant to be.
If you want to be a coach, if you want to be guide, this program will help you to develop the skills of knowing yourself and your students so that you can show them who they are from within, so they can see themselves as they are the way you will learn to see yourself as you are. It’s not with the eyes my friend. We do not see ourselves or each other with our eyes. We see ourselves and each other with our alpha state, and this is the only way to know the true self.
The Guide Coach Program will answer the question, “Who am I?” As well as the questions, what is the nature of reality and what are other people? This is why the program is for more than the student who wants to know themselves. If you just want to know yourself, the alpha academy is here for you. If you want to know what is the nature of reality and what are other people, then this program is for you. It is for the student who wants to know themselves and others. It’s for parents, it’s for teachers, it’s for guides, it’s for coaches, it’s for therapists or anyone who wants to understand more about the nature of humanity.
[0:26:44.9] Brothers, I am telling you, we are living in a time where people believe the world is flat and I am telling you the world is round. We are living in a time where people believe the planetary bodies revolve around the earth and I am telling you, they revolve around the sun. We are living in a time where people believe lightning is hurled from the sky by the gods and I am telling you that it is a buildup of electricity in the air.
What I am telling you may sound counterintuitive. But it is the truth. It is not easy to surrender the not-self that believes it is yourself to your true self, yet it is liberating brother. It is freedom, it is the end of suffering and when you are ready, you can elevate your alpha.
[END OF INTERVIEW]
[0:27:31.2] ANNOUNCER: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Alpha Male Coach Podcast. If you enjoyed what you’ve heard and want even more, sign up for Unleash your Alpha. Your guide to shifting to the Alpha Mindset, at the alphamalecoach.com/unleash.