Today we’re talking about feeling uncomfortable on purpose. Have you ever considered how discomfort is the price of growth, or the idea that you cannot develop as a person while in your comfort zone? I bet you’ve heard this saying or versions of it many times. It is not a new concept – but it is still an undeniably true one.

But why is it that discomfort is the price of growth? Many people say it but fail to explain why this is so. Today, I walk you through the idea that discomfort is nothing but an experience of the body. There is no substance to discomfort and it is not an ultimate reality, so why we are giving it so much power in our lives?

There is no doubt that we have all experienced discomfort, even though it is illusory. It is helpful to recognize the appearance of discomfort while simultaneously separating that appearance from reality. As real and material as discomfort may seem, you must recognize it for the illusion it is. When you do this, you can work through the discomfort and ultimately grow.

On the other hand, if you avoid discomfort and the pain that goes along with it, it is easy to return to buffering as a coping mechanism and you end up simply pushing the problem further along in the future. Conversely, when you confront the discomfort head-on, you end up transcending the problem and you will not have to return to it again later on.

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What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

  • Why you would want to subject yourself willingly to discomfort.
  • How discomfort is not the ultimate reality but an experience.
  • The value of becoming aware of discomfort and being curious about it.
  • Nothing in the universe demands suffering.
  • The idea that all discomfort and evil are illusory.
  • How wanting to avoid discomfort leads to buffering.
  • The power of confronting the discomfort and ultimately transcending it.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:


ANNOUNCER: Welcome to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast, the only podcast that teaches men the cognitive mastery and alpha mindset that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence. Here’s your host, certified life coach, and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud.


[0:00:32.6] KA: What’s up, my brothers? Welcome back to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. I am your host, Kevin Aillaud and it is the day after Thanksgiving here in the States and I know everyone had an amazing Thanksgiving day but check it out, if you don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, or if you are not in the United States or if you just don’t celebrate that holiday, then I know you had an amazing Thursday. Big announcement here, I made this announcement last week and I’m going to repeat it quickly, I’m going to make it short, every podcast episode until 2021 and it’s this.

All Alpha Male Coach courses are on sale through the end of the year and they’re on sale for over 50% off, look, guys. If you have been thinking about getting into any of the Alpha Male Coach courses, the indomitable self-confidence course, the how to live your purpose course, the, how to stop buffering course, any one of them, you can choose any one of these courses or you can take all three of them and all of them are going to be over 50% off the standard price. Now, that’s going to be going on through the end of the year.

It’s going to be going on all the way through 2020. You can start the new year off any way you choose, you can start it off with indomitable self-confidence, you can start it off living into your purpose, you can start it by eliminating all buffering in your life. It’s all exceptional personal development work and it will get you ready for 2021, living in freedom as the best version of yourself.

Now, today, on the podcast, we’re going to talk about feeling uncomfortable on purpose. Now, in the academy, we’re doing this emotional work, right? November was all about emotional balance and we’re going even deeper into that in December because we’re going to be doing our impossible goal planning for 2021 and this is a concept, discomfort being the price of growth, it’s a great concept. It’s a nice transition between the two topics, right? The emotional balance work and the impossible goal work because feeling discomfort of any kind on purpose for balance and growth, also helps you plan impossible goal actions in 2021.

[0:02:42.2] It’s a very awesome topic for this Friday as we transition from November to December. Check this out, I’m fairly certain that if you haven’t heard it from me, then you’ve probably heard it from other people, right? Maybe even from some meme that showed up on Facebook or Instagram.

Because, discomfort is the price of growth is nothing new. To hear somebody say this, almost becomes, people aren’t even listening anymore, right? It’s as someone who has a presence in the life coaching industry, I’m going to tell you that I hear this or I see this statement at least once a week. Maybe even more often.

It’s become like a cliché of sorts, you know? Something somebody says following a story someone tells about a struggle they went through, right? Think about it, how many times has this happened to you? You tell a story, tell a story about a struggle you went through, right? Something you went through and you came out on top and somebody in the audience or somebody that’s listening to your story that just shout out, well, discomfort is the price of growth, you know?

It’s like it’s a platitude but check this out brother, I’m going to give you the explanation to why discomfort is the price of growth, you know, I think it’s important that you know why discomfort is a price of growth instead of just saying that it is, right? Discomfort’s the price of growth and you just have to accept that it is.

[0:03:58.6] I mean, do you want to know why you might choose on purpose to feel uncomfortable? Do you want to know why it would benefit you when you allow yourself to feel what you feel even and especially when it’s on ease, uncomfortable and unintentional? First of all, before getting into that, I want you to know, the universal truth and I know that you know the universal truth. I’m not going to go through the whole universal truth but you know that all things are neutral.

That’s kind of the beginning of the universal truth, circumstances are neutral, in the world, there is no badness my friend? There’s no evil in the world. That’s important for a step that you know this, it’s important for a step to take, in a place of high contention from those who are raised to give power to darkness, to give power to evil, badness, discomfort or whatever you want to call it.

That I know there’s a lot of people that were raised to do that, they were raised to give power to evil forces. But everything I have taught you up to this point implies, number one, a creative power that is you, that is your alpha state and applies a creative medium, that’s the universal truth and the law of mind and belief and it implies a physical creation, the result of the creative power and the creative medium and that is the manifestation of form.

Discomfort has nothing to do with that, has nothing to do with any of that. Discomfort itself is not an ultimate reality, discomfort is simply an experience your body is having on your journey through life. Now, this discomfort in any form it takes is not an entity of itself, it does not truly exist. It is an experience.

[0:05:37.8] You’re having on the path of self-unfoldment on your path of self-knowledge, evil, badness, discomfort or whatever it is, whatever word you want to use, it is not a thing of itself and it has no actual power. It is simply a misuse of the power that you do have. There is no power in the negative.

The negative is the misuse of the power that you have. It will disappear my friend, in all forms when you stop looking at it, when you stop giving it power and when you stop indulging in it. We cannot transcend it, which is to say, stop believing in it as long as we are giving it power, as long as we’re indulging in it.

The goal is to become aware of it and bring our attention to it, right? It’s not too dismiss it, it’s not to indulge in it, it’s to become aware of it, to be curious about  it, to bring our attention to it, to shine the light on it, this will bring light to darkness because from here, in the light, the darkness can’t survive in discomfort must remit.

Understanding what I mean, before we move into why discomfort is a price of growth is important, it’s an important critical first step that you are clear and understand truly the difference between how we react when we believe that discomfort as an emotion we feel from a misaligned cognition is an entity of itself.

Okay, there’s a difference between how we react when we believe that, we believe it’s an entity of itself and when we understand that we are merely having the possibility of experiencing it, right? There’s nothing in the universe that demands suffering.

It’s only a possibility, it’s only an offer, it’s only something that’s there for us to engage in if we choose. Suffering is personal, it’s not universal. It’s man-made and it’s man-made through ignorance of the truth. It will continue in whatever form it takes. I say discomfort, I’m talking about the general discomfort, it could be guilt, could be shame, could be whatever but whatever discomfort is, it will continue until we learn how to see this discomfort and walk into it,  to walk through it, the same way you walk through a fog or a beaded curtain. One of my ex-girlfriends used to have this beaded curtain, it was really cool, she took her door off and she put this beaded curtain in front of her doorframe.

[0:08:02.4] It was neat, you couldn’t see through it but you could walk through it, right? You can kind of split it and you walk through it, I don’t know, she had a lava lamp and some other things too, she was real 70s style female. I thought it was really neat.

Anyway, there simply cannot be a universal law in the universe that demands suffering. There just can’t be, there can’t be a universal law that demands evil, that demands lack, that demands scarcity, that demands limitation, that demands fear, that demands discomfort.

Let’s just say the general experience of unhappiness in order to create anything of value, it just cannot exist, it’s not possible for our universe, our universal law to have that kind of negativity around it. Therefore, evil has only the power to destroy itself and discomfort my friend is the first form of destruction within the self.

Now, hear me when I tell you, I’m not undercutting discomfort. I know that in reality, the truth of what exist all evil and all discomfort is an illusion. This is the universal truth. It’s not really there, however, that doesn’t mean that we don’t have an experience of it, right? IT doesn’t make the experience that we do have any less of an experience and I don’t think anyone would deny this.

[0:09:13.8] I’m certain all of you have experienced discomfort created by a cognitive lie. I know I have, because this is the human condition brother, we are going to experience this discomfort even though in reality and the truth, it’s not there. I want you to recognize the appearance of discomfort while you simultaneously separate that appearance from the reality.

If you could make the first, this giant cognitive step, to do away with the notion that there is a presence of evil, there’s a presence of discomfort that is real. Then you can begin to work through discomfort in order to grow. There is no evil, there is no pain, there is no suffering, there are no problems and there is no judgment outside of your own thoughts. There is no discomfort outside of what a self-inflicted by you through ignorance and I’m not saying that to come down on you, I’m not calling you stupid or an intelligent.

This is the human condition, it is in our beta condition t hat we live in ignorance because we are ignorant of our alpha state, we’re ignorant of our true self. Within you is the best version of you. There is nothing you need to find outside of you that doesn’t already exist within you. This is true of all things, this is true of love, this is true of your purpose, this is true of your confidence.

When you enroll in the academy, I don’t give you some treasure map that says hey, here’s where you go to find these things. That’s all within you my friend. The aim of every alpha is to live within man and allow him to align himself with the wholeness of life that becomes one with the acting law.

[0:10:47.5] The alpha is not a form of control, it is a form of freedom, the most precious thing you have is your alpha state, it is your individuality. Because the beta condition basically aims for conformity. This is the only thing you ever really have or ever really are, it’s your alpha state.

I want you to know this, I want to say this with extreme conviction. Just be this known. For one instant, you allow any outside influence to enter or control this individuality that is you is a crime against your true self. Now, so what, right? So what coach, what do make of discomfort? Let’s get back on the discomfort, tell me why I am listening to this podcast. What purpose does discomfort serve if there is really no support in it like if reality doesn’t support discomfort then why should I pay attention to it? Why would I use it, why would I feel it on purpose in order to grow? For reason do we contemplate thoughts that create discomfort and suffering?

Tell me why and I want to offer to you that discomfort is offered to us so we can grow as the saying goes. Discomfort is a false message from a misguided thought. It allows us to oscillate between problem and solution. Now, if our oscillations produce no growth, we have a circle correct? I want you to see this. I am going to draw this picture up later in your mind, for oscillations produces no growth that we end up in the exact same point where we began, that is a circle and that is a maintaining of consciousness.

If our oscillations do produce growth, if they produce growth, development, evolution then it is not an oscillation back to the original point, it is an oscillation of expansion and we have a spiral, an ever expanding consciousness. That is evolution, that’s development. You see the world has it backwards my friends as they often do. I had it how many times on this podcast if I said the world has it backwards, right? Maybe it’s me, maybe I am the counterintuitive guy.

Maybe I’m the guy that has it backwards but the way I see it, the way I live, I see the most of the world has it backwards. I see most of the world living in suffering. I see most of the world believing that evolution is creating intelligence and this is backwards. The truth is that intelligence is what drives evolution. The manifestation follows the cause and the cause is the idea or the thought. This is the universal truth, right?

[0:13:16.6] Thoughts create emotions that drive actions and determine results. It is not the results that create the thought. It is not the results that drive the intelligence. As we expand our consciousness, we manifest that expansion in the world of form and we call that evolution, we call that growth, we call that change, we call that progress, we call it development. So it cannot be that our evolution or development happens to us and then we learn from it.

No, we learn first. We discover what it is we are suffering from and we step into that so we can evolve and once we have the idea behind the discomfort, once we know what that is we are in a place to observe it and be at peace with it in the aim of dismissing it because it is the lie. Only this will drive transcendence and outward growth and this is evolution. Now again, I told you I was going to come back to this. I am actually going to end with this because I want you to see this as an image in your mind.

The problem-solution cycle is like a circle because it goes back and forth, right? We are presented with a problem, we find a solution, that solution presents a new problem or the same problem and with that problem then aim for new solution. Every time we have a solution, we’re presented with a new problem and every time we’re presented with a problem, our aim is to find a solution. This is a part of the human condition. This is a part of living a human life.

Now, what most of us end up when we are in our beta condition, when we are not ready to feel discomfort, where we’re not in that space of I am open. I am willing, I am intentionally, I am purposefully wanting to feel uncomfortable so that I can grow, what we end up being is when we have that problem, we end up in the solution of trying to get back to that state of being out of pain. Enter what? Buffering, right? Procrastination.

[0:15:12.5] Enter ruminating, enter all of the things that we do, resisting, right? All of the stuff that we do so that we are not facing the discomfort and when that ends up being our solution, when our solutions ends up being to avoid or resists or react or otherwise deny to look away from, to not step into what it is that is creating the problem, then our solution becomes moot. Our solution essentially is no solution at all. It just puts the problem back a bit in time.

It pushes it out into the future and we can just look at it later. So our solution is just a temporary space where we are waiting to re-engage with the same problem and when we do, we complete the circle. We start with the problem, we draw a half circle to solution, and because that solution does not solve the problem, it simply avoids resist or otherwise puts the problem off. Then we draw the other half circle back to the original problem and we continue that circle that cycle of living.

In perpetuity essentially until we’re willing to face what that true problem really is as long as we are unwilling or unable to see the problem, which is cognition, the discomfort is coming from the mind my friend. It is not coming from the world and until we are willing to look there to see that, to investigate that lie, to step into that discomfort we are going to continue to live in that circle. Now, if we are willing to look at that discomfort, if we are willing to step into it.

If we are willing to observe our mind, if we are willing to ask the questions and elevate our alpha state and be there with ourselves for long enough to observe what is going on in that mental place that is creating that discomfort, then our solution takes on a new life. Our solution now transcends the problem. Our solution is no longer finishing and closing the circle. It takes us beyond the problem. So again, take back. We are going back to the picture again.

[0:17:11.1] You have a problem, you draw half circle to the solution but this time, the solution is real. The solution is for you to go into your mind and discover what the cause of the discomfort is and you find the cause to be a sentence in your brain, a cognitive thought error, a limiting belief that you with compassion, with observation, with curiosity. You observe and determine with choice, with willpower from your alpha state, your volition, with all of the things that make you human.

That power of creation, you look at it and say, “Do I want this? Do I want to keep this? Do I believe this? Is this serving me?” and if it’s not, if it is creating that discomfort, if it is not what you want to believe, if it is not what you want to keep then you can transcend it. You can choose another. You can make a different choice and begin to believe into your future. Now when we draw the half circle back to the problem from the solution rather than drawing it back and completing a circle.

Back to the original problem, we take that half circle and we go past the original problem. We go beyond it and we are met with a new problem but this problem is not the same problem. It’s a new problem. We have gone forward. We’ve evolved, we are now dealing with new problems. We now more about who we are. We know more about ourselves and we are stepping into that greater version. We will always be met with these problems but these problems are what’s causing the discomfort.

So when we are met with these problems, we go back and we draw that next half circle to the new solution. We step back into our cognition to find out what this new problem is and as we keep drawing these half circles my friend, we find that we are expanding outward. We are not maintained in the same circle, the circle that has a constant diameter. It is a spiral, every time we create a solution and go back to the problem we move outward and the circles get bigger and bigger as they spiral outward.

[0:19:15.1] Always expanding. That is evolution. That is you that is expanding your consciousness. That is expanding your life, your results. The expansion of your results means better relationships, greater wealth, more opportunity, greater risks and more abundance in your life. This is the why my friend, this is all the why. The how you do that is a process of training and practice and it involves separating thoughts from circumstances doing thought downloads to determine what is the cause.

Doing models of alignment to see the results of the cause, processing emotions so there isn’t the unconscious reaction to them or to avoid them or to resist them, which all keeps you in that repetitive circle and cycle of the beta condition. My brothers, the how is the training protocol you will be getting in the academy. Stop living in the circle of suffering, the cycle of buffering in the repetitive life of pain thought errors and limiting beliefs.

Stop making discomfort and entity. It is not an entity, it appears so but it is not a reality. Learn to see it as a tendency caused by a cognitive lie. This is how you will expand. If you knew my friend, if you knew the power you possess and that accessing that power is the key to living your dreams, I am certain you would enroll in the academy today and start practicing the use of this skill but I got to ask you, what is missing for you?

When will you choose to stop unnecessary suffering and start experiencing intentional discomfort for you to discover and unleash more of who you already are? That’s the real question my friend, what is stopping you? What are you waiting for? The tier one academy is almost full and the tier two academy has unlimited spots. We have room for you.

[0:21:01.9] Enroll today and start doing the work that will unlock the deepest unconscious beliefs that are currently spinning lies and creating the discomfort that drives you into suffering, resistance, buffering, procrastination, ruminating, inaction, hiding and any other demonstration of form that falls short of your best self. My brother, are you ready to elevate your alpha.


[0:21:28.7] ANNOUNCER: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Alpha Male Coach Podcast. If you enjoyed what you’ve heard and want even more, sign up for Unleash Your Alpha: Your guide to shifting to the alpha mindset, at the