Ep#123: Why Change Is Difficult – The Remix

[INTRODUCTION]

[00:00:09] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Alpha Male Coach Podcast, the only podcast that teaches men the cognitive mastery and alpha mindset that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence. Here’s your host, certified life coach and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud. 

[EPISODE]

[00:00:32] KA: What’s up my brothers? Welcome back to the Alpha Male Coach Podcast. I am your host, Kevin Aillaud, and I’m going to open up with a reminder for those of you that haven’t done this yet. I know many of you have. If you haven’t, then I want you to go to iTunes and leave me a five-star rating and review. It’s been a while since I requested this from you guys, and the good news is that we have broken the 300 mark. Now, remember the goal is 500 ratings, and we’ve broken 300. But I’d love for you to leave me a review as well. I love reading when you guys write those reviews.  

Now, I’ve also received a lot of emails, a lot of messages from you guys that say you can’t do that because you’re not listening on iTunes. You’re listening on Spotify or some other platform. Check this out. Go to the Alpha Male Coach Instagram feed and follow us there. My brother, George, is a student in the academy. He’s living in the Czech Republic, and he does all the posts and all the stories for that account, and he’s doing an amazing job. I have a weekly IGTV show that preludes the podcast every week. 

So if you have already left a rating and review, I appreciate it. I love you, brother. If you have not, then do that. If you can’t do that, then go to Instagram and follow us there. Give me a shout out there. Give George a shout out there. Like I say, he’s doing an amazing job. He’s killing it, and you’re going to get a lot of extra content from Instagram as well. 

This episode is going to take the last episode to another level. I’m going to get wild on this episode, brothers. I’m going to be talking about some wild stuff. Now, I know. I know, right? You guys are like, “Look. What is the deal, coach?” This is the Alpha Male Coach Podcast. It’s like we’re talking about alpha male stuff. You probably want to hear about how to be a leader. You probably want to hear about how to attain a higher state of fitness or attract more women or create more wealth or live with more confidence and generally have a more assertive, driven, and purposeful life. 

Well, the truth is, my friend, the way you do that is through your unification with the source of mind, with your power of cognition by elevating your alpha state and living through life. So stay with me as we take a journey deeper into the truth because this episode is a remix from last episode. If you remember from last week, what I talked to you guys about was cognitive dissonance. We talked about cognitive dissonance. We talked about laddering. We talked about bridging thoughts. 

Cognitive dissonance is when you hold two conflicting thoughts in your mind at the same time. Essentially, the thoughts you currently believe, your current belief system, and the thoughts that you want to believe, the thoughts that you know are going to serve your future. Any time you are going to make a change in your life, you must change your thoughts first. You have to change what you believe to be true if you want to change the results in your life. 

Now, you can make temporary changes in your life without changing your belief system. You can force new actions with willpower and create new results. However, these new results are only temporary because as soon as your willpower runs out, you will return to your old habits and original results. Willpower is finite. It doesn’t last forever. How finite depends on the individual. Some people can exercise willpower for days, while others can exercise willpower for months. In the end, however, without a change in your belief system, your actions will return to match your thinking, and your results will return to reinforce what you have believed all along creating evidence for what you subconsciously thought the entire time. 

I was a fitness coach for over a decade, brothers. I can tell you this first hand. I saw people come into the gym wanting to lose weight but not changing the way they thought about themselves, not changing the way they thought about their body, only going through the actions of holding onto a diet for 30 days or trying to get into a fitness regimen for 30 days, and they did. They lost weight. They got stronger for 30 days. Then their willpower ran out, and then they gained all that weight back, and they lost all that strength. The truth is you have got to change your beliefs if you want to make permanent changes. If you want to make permanent changes in your life, you must make a change at the source of your creative power, which is your thoughts. 

Now, last week, I taught you guys the concept of cognitive dissonance and why holding two conflicting thoughts in your mind at the same time feels so horrible. This week, I’m going to teach you why it’s important to train your power of intentional creation through the love, cause, and effect in the universal truth and why it takes time to get to the thoughts you want to believe. I’m going to do it using a fitness analogy. You guys who are into fitness are going to love it. 

Now, first remember that the law of cause and effect is a natural law that is working all the time. It is impersonal, and by impersonal I mean it doesn’t judge you. It only acts. It is a force like gravity. It has a trajectory or direction from invisible to visible. Like all natural laws, the thing itself is unknown and unknowable to us. This concept alone might pull your wig back a bit, so I’m going to take a second and explain it to you. 

As with all natural laws, there are three components. There is the thing itself, there is the way the thing works, and there is the results of the thing working. In recent episodes, I’ve used electricity as an example. Later in this podcast, I’m going to use gravity. Energy is the same. No one knows what energy is. No one knows what electricity is. No one knows what gravity is. I know that might blow your mind, brother, but that’s the truth. Ask any physics professor. Ask anyone in the sciences. There is no one on this planet alive today who can tell you what gravity, electricity, or energy is. They will tell you how we can measure it. They’ll say, “Well, yeah. 

Gravity, of course, it’s acceleration. It’s distance divided by time square. 9.8 meters per second squared.”

But that’s not what gravity is. It’s how we measure it. People know how we measure it. We know how to use it. We know how to catalog it with mathematical formulas and common standards. Or what they’ll do is they’ll divert to the result of the thing and be like, “Oh. Well, gravity’s holding that thing in place. Or electricity is the lightning. Or it’s the light that comes on in when we flip the switch, when pressed.” But when really asked over and over what is this thing, what is the thing itself, no one alive today knows what the essence of these things are. We all know how they work and we all know the effect of them working, but no one knows what they are. I have discussed this with a fraternal brother. Just the other day I was talking to my brother about this. 

Now, I want you guys to know that this isn’t Masonic dogma. However, it does live within the realm of esoterica that we Freemasons study and teach to the initiated. As we are discussing this, as I was discussing this with my brother, it became clear to me that thought is no different than gravity, electricity, or energy. It is a force. The thing itself is unknown to us. Yet the way it works, which is the universal truth and the result of it working, which is all the stuff in your life, this is as self-evident as electricity and gravity. 

Now, the result is always the first to be seen. When we think about electricity, the result is always the first thing we see. We saw and heard electricity long before we learned how to harness its natural power. Thunder and lightning were seen and heard long before the experiments of Benjamin Franklin. It wasn’t until 1827 that Georg Simon Ohm discovered Ohm’s Law which was always there, waiting to be understood by the human mind. This discovery allowed Thomas Edison in 1879 to use Ohm’s Law and other laws of electricity in order to harness this power and create the light bulb. 

Now, the effect of gravity was seen long before Newton put math to observation. The effect of energy was clear long before Einstein came up with energy equals mass times the square of the speed of light. In the process of the discovery of natural laws, it is always that we see the effect of the thing working first. Then we begin to understand how to harness the power of the thing to get a desired result of it working, which is to say we apply mathematics or algorithms to the process of the thing in order to get a quantifiable output from a quantifiable input. It is always that reverse engineering of the natural power or force, and yet we as humans never understand or discover what the thing itself is. 

In the 21st century, at least as far as I’m concerned in my philosophy and methodology, the natural power or force that is already self-evident in effect and has yet to be mathematically proven or yet to have a mathematical law discovered is the mind, thought. Like gravity, electricity, and energy is a natural force that exists within us and all around us. We harness and personalize this universal mind through our individual thoughts and beliefs. The initial framework for how the mind works is the law of cause and effect, as explained through the universal truth. This is how the spiritual becomes the scientific. This is how the superstitious becomes commonplace. 

Now, let’s get into the episode. Now that we’re 10 minutes in, let’s get in the episode on Why Change is So difficult, The Remix. Remember, the difference between thought and gravity is in kind, not essence. They are of the same and from the same universal source, existing in both the invisible world of vibration and the visible world of form and matter. They are different forces. Yet they are the same in how they are revealed to humans through the expansion of consciousness and inner intelligence. For as we evolve inwardly through consciousness, we evolve outwardly in form and matter. 

Now, change is difficult because you’re holding two conflicting causes of creation in your mind. You’re holding two conflicting thoughts. You’re holding two beliefs, each of them acting to create an effect, but they’re different. You are unbeknownst to yourself creating two realities for yourself simultaneously. You are perpetuating your current reality with your current beliefs and you are creating a new reality with your intentional beliefs. To give you a quick example, let’s say your current belief is making money is hard, and your desired belief is creating wealth is easy. 

Now, this current belief comes from your past. It comes from your conditioning. Maybe your parents said it and demonstrated it. Maybe it was from your environment, your teachers, or your friends. It’s been with you for many years, it lives with you unconsciously, and it feels so true that you just assume it’s a fact. The first step, my friend, is to know it’s a belief, and you have the power to change it through choice. Once you know this, once you know that you have this choice, you move to choosing a new belief, a desired belief, and that is that creating wealth is easy. 

Now, you have cognitive dissonance. You have a belief that you’ve had for probably decades from your past and a new thought that you want to believe in order to create a new result in your life. Now, at this point, many of my students want the magic pill. They want to just believe the new thought and have it settle into their brain and entered into the law to create the new result right now. Well, it’s not that simple, my friends. The new thought hurts. It’s in conflict with what you truly believe. No matter how hard you try to force the new thought, the old one keeps coming in strong and creating your results for you. So how do we do it? How do we change the belief? 

Last week, I gave you some tools around laddering your thoughts and how to navigate from the current unintentional model of alignment to the desired intentional model of alignment. This week, I am going to explain why you have to put in the work in accordance with the law. Brothers, the natural law of thought is like the natural law of gravity. So I propose to you the following analogy based on gravity and fitness.

Let’s say you’ve never done a deadlift before. Now, a deadlift is just – It’s a load that rests on the ground, and you pick it up. You basically grab the barbell and you stand up with it. That’s what a deadlift is. So throughout this analogy, understand that a deadlift is something where it’s a load that begins on the ground, and then you stand up with it. That’s it. Let’s say you’ve never done a deadlift before, and you want to deadlift 500 pounds. 

Your current force of thought is the unintentional belief that creating money is hard, and your desired belief is creating wealth is easy. So your current deadlift is zero. You have no capacity to deadlift and you want to deadlift 500 pounds. You want to believe creating money is easy but you don’t. You believe it’s hard. You want to deadlift 500 pounds but you don’t. You step up to the barbell loaded with 500 pounds, you grab it, and you try to stand up with it, but the bar doesn’t move. Gravity itself, gravity as a force is a constant, my friend. It’s 9.8 meters per second squared. The law of cause and effect, the law of mind and belief is also a constant. It doesn’t change. Your current belief is too heavy. The belief is the load. You’ve trained yourself to believe this thought that you now have is a fact. In your mind, it’s a fact. 

Now, let’s take an arbitrary low. Let’s say a true fact weighs a ton, 2,000 pounds. No one can deadlift 2,000 pounds yet. The heaviest recorded deadlift on record is I think 1,100 pounds or something around that. So this belief that you have is 500 pounds. It’s a quarter ton. You know it’s not a true fact. It’s not 1,200 pounds. It’s not 2,000 pounds but it feels so true for you. It almost feels like a fact. You know intellectually it’s not a fact. In your mind, you’ve listened to enough podcasts. You’ve done enough work to understand that it’s a thought. It’s a sentence. It’s a choice. But it feels like a fact. In your brain, it really feels like a fact. It feels like it is. You spend a lifetime finding evidence to support it. You’ve trained yourself to believe that creating money is hard, so essentially what you’ve done is you’ve loaded up a barbell with 500 pounds. 

Now, with willpower, you can probably force yourself to think the thought creating wealth is easy, just like you can probably lift 100 pounds, maybe 150 pounds with bad form. You can bend over, you can grab the bar, and you can pick it up. However, when that will power runs out, you will go back to your original beliefs. Just like eventually you’re going to hurt yourself deadlifting heavy loads with poor form, and the result is that you’re going to have to go back to lifting 50 pounds with good form, which is your current force production capacity, which is the amount of work you’ve done to think creating wealth is easy. 

Now, stay with me on this analogy, brothers. I don’t want to confuse you because in order to create the strength required to deadlift 500 pounds, you will need to develop the contractile potential to reverse the effect that gravity is placing on the load. Gravity, the force, is acting on that 500-pound barbell. That is a constant. That is the force that is keeping the barbell in place. Right now, your current belief is acting through the law of cause and effect in a similar way. It is holding your current belief in place, creating a perpetual, undesired result. 

In this case, that creating money is hard, and in the analogy that the barbell isn’t moving when you attempt to lift it because you believe money is hard. You believe creating money is hard, and so lifting that barbell is not going to work. You’re not able to lift the 500 pounds. You’re not able to change your belief that creating wealth is easy. You’ve developed a strong belief system around this thought that creating money is hard. It weighs a quarter ton. The stronger you’re holding on to your current belief, the more it’s going to weigh. So why would you think you could just walk up to the bar and pick it up? 

Similarly, why do you think it would be so easy to just think a new thought and you believe it and you get the results of it through the law? You don’t. You must train your way up to it. You must develop the strength in body to reverse the effect of gravity on the barbell, just as you slowly develop the strength in mind, in thought to reverse the effect of belief that you’re releasing into the law of cause and effect. So you have to begin where you are. You got to start right now, my friend. 

Maybe you can deadlift 100 pounds twice. That’s beautiful. That’s great. I love it. Start training at 100 pounds. Do sets of five. I know. You said you can do it twice. We’ll do a set of five then. Do three more. Push yourself to get those final few reps in. As you get stronger, add weight to the bar and keep doing sets of five. Maybe do some sets of seven. Get a couple extra reps. Add some weight and do a set of three, pushing yourself past your physical capacity and creating evidence of development. 

Now, what I’m not going to do here is go into an entire power lifting training program. It’s not the point. The point is that as you get stronger, you will be putting more weight on the barbell, and eventually you’ll reach 200, 300, 350, 400, 450, and finally you’re going to be able to deadlift 500 pounds. As you get closer and closer to your goal, you will believe more and more that you will reach that desired goal, that desired thought, because you’ll create more and more evidence for it in result. 

At 100 pounds, it may seem impossible that you’re ever going to get to 500 pounds. When you reach 400 or 450 pounds, then knowing that your goal, that your desired belief is attainable becomes attainable. It becomes believable. When you step up to that 500-pound barbell, when you grab it and when you stand up with it, you have developed the physical strength to reverse the effect that gravity has placed on that bar. Just like when you stand up and you have that difference in your cognition, you are now working with a new belief, desired belief. What at one time was stronger is now weaker, and what was weaker is now stronger. Your current belief was stronger than your desired belief, and now your desired belief is stronger than your current. 

Or at this point, it would be your past belief. Once you lift that weight off the ground, this is when you assimilate the desired belief, and now that new belief is what you believe. Lifting the load means you’ve changed your belief system and can begin making that new belief system stronger, heavier. This is the same as changing your beliefs. You have created a current belief that is so strong, so heavy that you must train yourself into a desired belief where you must become stronger mentally, cognitively than your current belief in order to lift it off the ground. The law of cause and effect is the law of mind and belief. You’ve got to put in the work. You’ve got to put in the cognitive work. 

Now, check this out, brothers, because this is what we do in the academy, and I want to give this to you. Now, you’re welcome to join the academy at any time. In fact, I offer that you do. I’d love to work with you, but this is what we do in the academy. This is the power of separating thoughts from facts because I use the example of 500 pounds for a belief that you’ve trained yourself to hold strongly, deeply, unconsciously. If you want to make the load lighter, so you can lift it and change the belief quicker, you have to know that all thoughts are a choice. You are choosing to think this. You weren’t born with this thought. This thought is not a fact. Other people have different thoughts and are getting different results. This belief of yours is a conditioned sentence in your brain. 

When you begin to separate the feeling of the thought being a fact, you effectively decrease the load on the barbell, maybe bringing it down 315, maybe dropping a whole 200 pounds off. Now, you will be able to get to your desired belief faster because it isn’t as heavy, which means it’s not as strong in your mind. Maybe your desired belief isn’t as far off as your current belief. Maybe you can already deadlift 225, and you want to deadlift 315. The analogy here is that you’ve done the work to separate your thoughts from facts, bringing the total load to change your belief down to 315, and you’ve already done a lot of work in practicing your desired belief in doing the intentional model of alignment. So you can already deadlift 225. 

Now, it doesn’t mean you’re going to get the result right away. It doesn’t mean you can walk into a bar that’s loaded 315 and stand up with it. You’ve still got 90 pounds to go, but it’s a lot closer because it’s not that far off. Or maybe your current belief is diametrically opposed to your desired belief. Maybe you can dead with 135 right now and you want to be able to dead the 505. The strength of your current belief, brother, is determined by you, how strongly you attach your identity to it, and how much you find safety and comfort in it. 

Similarly, the gap between the current and the desired belief is also determined by you. You are the one that chooses the load on the bar. You are the one that chooses your max potential. You’re the one that gets to decide how heavy, how strong you are now, and how much weight is on that bar, how much weight you’re putting into this current belief system. Either way, consider the tool of laddering and bridge thoughts to be like milestones on your way to the goal. Just like going from 135 to 505 maybe in milestones of 185, 225, 275, 315, 365, 405, 455, and 495. 

Now, look. If you’re not a barbell person, don’t concern yourself with these arbitrary numbers. The point is that you’re currently lifting 135, and you want to lift 505. That gap might be large, so large, or seems so large for you to never begin or get discouraged along the way and give up. You might go from 135 to 225 quickly, like very fast, and then hit a plateau where you start thinking to yourself, “I’m never going to make it. I’m never going to get to 505. I got to 225 so fast. I can’t seem to break through this barrier.” I want to tell you something. I want to tell the same thing I tell my fitness guys. Don’t give up. Keep going. Keep training. In terms of the power of thought, you got to keep believing. You got to keep doing the cognitive work. 

Now, I’m going to close out this episode because we’re over 20 minutes here, brothers, and I want to close this episode out with three things. Number one, remember that the law of cause and effect is a natural law. It only acts. It doesn’t judge. It will work for you always. It’s always working for you, just like gravity is a natural law that doesn’t judge, just like gravity is a natural law that works for you. 

Look. If you want to put your bed in the kitchen, gravity doesn’t care. Gravity is going to hold your bed in place for you. It’s going to hold it in the kitchen. Gravity is not going to save you like, “Sorry, bro. I can’t hold this bed here. You got to move the bed to the bedroom if you want me to keep it in place.” Gravity doesn’t do that. Gravity does as you command it to do, and you also can’t stop it. But you’re not going to stop gravity. Not believing in gravity doesn’t allow you to levitate. 

Well, my friend, the law of mind and belief is the same. If you believe that creating money is hard, then the law isn’t going to say, “Sorry, bro. Thinking that is going to make it hard for you to make money. Let’s try a new thought, okay?” No, it doesn’t do that. The law is going to act on your thoughts, and not believing in the law isn’t going to stop it from working through you. That is your power as a human being with a mind. It is your gift. It is your power. Not wanting the power or not knowing that you have the power or not believing that you have the power isn’t going to remove the power from you. The law is always working, as all natural laws are. That’s number one. 

Number two, gravity is a constant, just like the law of cause and effect is a constant. Gravity doesn’t get weaker. It doesn’t get stronger. It’s always the same. It’s always 9.8 meters per second squared. Brothers, the law of cause and effect is also a constant. It doesn’t work faster or slower. You do. You work faster or slower. It’s you that acts upon the law with your mind and belief. That is your power. The law is a constant that just turns your thoughts into form. It’s you that determines how strong your current belief system is. The law just acts upon what you give it. 

If you give it 20 minutes of a desired thought during meditation or prayer or uploading and then you go throughout your day, the other 23 hours and 40 minutes, and throughout the day you’re releasing into the law your current belief unconsciously. I know it’s unconscious. It’s not like you’re out there thinking your current belief. I know you’re not thinking it. It’s unconscious. It’s been automatically turned into your subconscious. That’s the motivational triad, if you remember that. The brain wants to be automatic. It wants to be efficient. It doesn’t want to burn up a lot of energy. So for the 23 hours and 40 minutes, you have this unconscious belief that’s being released into the law all the time. 

Then the law is going to return to you that which is more powerful for you, which is going to be your current belief system. It’s not like the law is going to say, “Oh, I see. I see. You want what you thought during those 20 minutes of time. The rest of the time you’re just messing around with me. The rest of time you’re just joking.” No, blood. The law doesn’t do that. The law responds to you as you believe, and it is done unto you as you believe. That’s number two. 

Finally, the reason why change is so difficult is because of your power. It’s because of who you are. It’s because of this immeasurable and infinite. There’s so much power you have. You have to understand this, bro. You’ve got to get this. You have trained yourself to believe your current belief system. What you believe isn’t a fact. You weren’t born to think this and believe this. You chose to think this, you chose to believe this, and you went into the process of conditioning yourself to think it’s a fact. You currently have a 500-pound belief that you no longer want. You’ve created the current belief. You’ve spent years working with the law. You’ve spent years releasing it into the law, believing what you currently believe, creating the results of that belief, and using those results as evidence to reinforce the strength of that belief. 

To undo this, you must create an equally powerful belief towards your desired result. You must retrain. You have this 500-pound belief lying on the floor. It’s right there in front of you. The power you’ve put into the belief is the weight. You’re the one that loaded that bar with 500 pounds. Gravity is holding it down. Gravity is just acting on it as natural laws do, and the law of cause and effect is just acting on your current belief. You’re the one that gave it power. You’re the one that gives it strength. Now, you must train yourself to lift this bar, lift this load to reverse the effect of the power that you put into it, to show yourself that you have the strength to lift that weight that you’ve loaded onto the bar. 

That’s why change is difficult. That’s why you can’t just walk up to your current belief and lift it off the ground. The stronger you believe your current belief, the heavier it is. Gravity is a constant force. The law of cause and effect is a constant force. The load of your belief is based on the strength you give it. When you begin to recognize it as a sentence in your mind, an option that you can choose, you will start to reduce the load on the bar. It’ll be easier to lift because it’ll be lighter. However, you still have to train yourself to lift it. You still have to do the work to pull the belief off the ground. When you do, the desired thought will become your new belief, and you can start to add load to that belief with intention so that it works through the law for you and creates your intentional results, which is the life of your dreams. 

That’s what I’ve got for you today, brothers. Now, get to work training your mind to believe your desired intentional belief. Do the reps and elevate your alpha. 

[END OF EPISODE]

[00:28:29] ANNOUNCER: Thank you for listening to this episode of The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. If you have enjoyed what you’ve heard and want even more, sign up for Unleash Your Alpha, your guide to shifting to the alpha mindset at thealphamalecoach.com/unleash.

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