Ep #218: Love & Freedom Part 2: Relationships

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In my previous episode, I went into detail about the concept of love and freedom as energetic opposites, what it has to do with awareness, and how this differs from the other dualities I have spoken about in past episodes. Before I get into the topic of today’s show, I will briefly recap the main takeaways from the previous episode, as I know the content is vast and heavy. Once I have done that, I will delve deep into today’s theme, love and freedom in relationships.

When I say relationships, I do not necessarily mean with people. It could also be with money or yourself. Love and freedom are essential components of any relationship and are needed to manifest the experiences we want in life. In order to manifest what you want, you must keep a balance between love and freedom in a relationship. Love is choosing to place awareness on that relationship, while freedom is the ability to let go and trust that the relationship will still exist even if you draw your attention away from it.

I like to use the analogy of a bee. If you are having a conversation and a bee starts flying around you, are you distracted by it? Do you stop the conversation and focus attention on the bee and how to get away from it? Although it’s good to be aware of the bee, becoming distracted takes your awareness away from the conversation. On the opposite side of the scale, if you don’t notice the bee, it may result in you getting stung. This episode is full of analogies, examples, and personal stories that I use to unpack the concept of balancing love and freedom in all types of relationships. Brothers, join me today as I guide you through how you can love everything and at the same time be free of it all!

What Youll Learn from This Episode:

  • A brief recap of love and freedom as energetic opposites.
  • Why love and freedom are important for relationships.
  • The consequences of not balancing love and freedom.
  • How to keep a balance between love and freedom.
  • Hear practical examples of maintaining balance in relationships.
  • Reasons why quality is better than quantity.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

  • Enroll for the Elevated Alpha Society Spartan Academy here.
  • Sign up for Unleash Your Alpha, your guide to shifting to the Alpha mindset.


[00:00:09] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast, the only podcast that teaches men the cognitive mastery and alpha mindset that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence. Here’s your host, certified life coach and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud.



[00:00:32] KA: What’s up, my brothers? Welcome back to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. I am your host, Kevin Aillaud and I want to pick up right where we left off last week. I want to get right into it. I want to see if we can get through this episode a little quicker than last week, and I’m really not so concerned about the time as much as it is. I just want to make sure that you guys are getting the maximum amount of value from these episodes, because even though you can really like 100 X it by going in the academy, and I recommend you do. I’ve always suggested that. I’ve always kind of said to you guys, like when you’re ready, just go to the website and enroll in the academy and you can take everything you’re learning here in the podcast, and you could take it not just to the next level, but to the next 10 levels. You can really take it to your life, apply it to your life, and change, transform, transmute, evolve, and take your life to probably a place that you’ve never really thought about before, because you may have never known what is available to you before.

So really is a lot about enrolling in the academy. But if you’re not ready, I just want to make sure these podcast episodes, you’re getting some knowledge, you’re really understanding what it is I’m putting down. So, I know this content is heavy. I know it’s vast. I know it’s maybe a little complex. But I try to deliver it in a way that’s understandable and efficient that I could get it done in a half an hour or so. So, I do want to get right into it, guys. But first, let’s do a very quick recap of last week because this is part two of the part that started last week. Last week we’re talking about awareness, love and freedom and what has to do with awareness. This time we’re going to talk about love and freedom in relationships.

A very quick recap of awareness is that there are two paths, right? There’s the alpha path and the beta path. These are the two options. Neither is right or wrong, neither is better or worse. I don’t want you to think that one is better, one is worse, that everybody should be on the alpha path. The alpha path is a spiritual path. Some people say, “No, I don’t want that. I would rather be on the worldly path.” That doesn’t make it right or wrong either. But that spiritual path is this path of inner work. It’s the path of introspection, of letting go, of staying present. The beta path is the worldly path. It’s the path of control, of competition, of achievement, of status. The alpha path is managing the inner world. It’s paying attention to the thoughts, the feelings, all the invisible energy. The beta path is managing the outer world. It’s trying to control the circumstances. You control things in life that most of the time, we just don’t have control over, which is why it can be really, really futile and frustrating to live the beta path.

But what I have found is that by following the alpha path, you will fulfill the desires of the beta path. Whereas by following the beta path, you’ll typically lead into frustration and doubt. Because control is an illusion. It just is, brothers. You cannot control the weather. We can have an influence on the weather with our minds, with the energy of our experience, of our witness. But you, as a single being, it’s a collective thing. We as humans are affecting it. But you, as one person, like no. Of course, we don’t control that. If it’s raining, brother, it’s raining. We, as humans, are collectively controlling the traffic. But you, as one person, are not going to be able to control the traffic. So, there are so many things out of our control. Control is an illusion.

So, the beta path can be very frustrating. We have these two paths. That’s number one. Number two, if you choose the alpha path, then your focus is on the realm of energy. This is the spiritual. This is the invisible This is the energy that is moving around me, you, all the time. What am I as the alpha witness? What am I noticing in various forms of energy? What am I noticing in the mental energy, in the emotional energy, and the physical energy? That’s number two. Number three, the force of witnessing or noticing is the alpha. Okay, that’s the self, that’s the soul. If you want to know what is the soul, who am I, that is the force. It is a disease of pure awareness. That is what you are. That is what I am, pure awareness. We are not the body. We are aware of the body. We are not the thoughts. We are aware of the thoughts. We are not the feelings. We are aware of the feelings. We are awareness, brothers. We are the awareness of all the energy in the universe, mental, vibrational, and physical. That’s number three.

Number four, energetically, there’s a contrast. There’s a duality and that is between love and freedom. This is a polarity, an energetic polarity. When we are focusing our awareness on something, we’re loving it, we take our self, the soul, which is awareness and we’re aiming it at something. I used to be a competitive shooter. I think I told you guys that. It’s like looking through the sight picture. When you look through the sight picture of your awareness, you’re focusing on something. That’s loving it. When we’re giving our attention to something, we’re loving it, that’s what we are, we are love. Okay, we are love.


I say we are pure awareness. But what is awareness? Awareness is love. Because when we put our awareness on something, we are giving ourselves to that thing. We are putting our awareness on it. The awareness of what we are is on that thing. The self is awareness, the self is love. We are loving that thing because we are giving our awareness to it. We are giving the self to it, and therefore we are love.


Oppositely, when we remove our awareness from something, we are setting it free. Neither of these states is better or worse. Freedom or love is simply a matter of awareness. My awareness is on something, I’m loving it. If it’s off something, if it’s free, it’s free of my love of it. Now, number five, there’s only seven, so we’re getting there, brothers. I’ve almost completed the recap. Number five, whatever is loved is attracted. Okay, whatever you put your awareness on, you will get more of. If it is a thought, you will give it more power and you will make it a belief. If I have a thought that I’m giving my awareness to, if I’m ruminating on thought energy, I’m giving it power, and I will turn it into a belief. Over time, it will become something that distorts my view of reality. If it’s a feeling, I will give it power and I will make it an indulgent emotion. I’ll make it something that I’m feeling over and over. I’ll track more of it to me.

So, if it’s a feeling that I’m giving my attention to or that I’m trying to avoid, which is also giving my attention to, know that brothers. Know that if you are avoiding an emotion, you are giving it your attention because the attention of avoidance is attention. I have to give a person my attention in order to intentionally avoid them. Does that make sense? If they didn’t have my attention, then I wouldn’t be intentionally avoiding them and emotions are the same. So, anytime you give your attention to a feeling, you’re giving it power, making it stronger. You’re going to bring it back. It’s coming back, right? You will always get more of what your attention to, you always get more of what you love.

So, this is your way of asking something from the universe by paying attention to it. If you want something from the universe, if you want to manifest something, if you want to experience something, the way we ask for something from God, the way we ask for something from the universe, is by putting our attention on it. Because that is what we are. We are awareness we are love, and by doing that, we attract it. That’s number five. Number six, love and freedom energetically are not emotions, they are not feelings. They are polarities that only have to do with the force of attraction, and the power of awareness and focus. That’s number six. That was pretty quick. Number seven. This is the last one, number seven. While this is the process of manifestation, it is also the gateway to letting go.

I want you to know this, brothers, because so many of you, I think are focused on the worldly path of manifesting, you’ve come to the academy, and maybe you think you’re getting into a spiritual path. But a lot of you are just looking for a quick way to the worldly path. And I don’t teach the dark side, okay? I just don’t teach the dark side. I don’t teach the quick and easy way, which is through the alpha path but not by getting worldly desires. Because you can use the spiritual path to achieve worldly desire and that’s the dark side and people do it. I know that’s possible and I’m not trying to nerd out on you guys. But I want you guys to know that yes, this is the process of manifestation. Putting your attention on something is the way that you can create anything you want to experience in the world. But more importantly than that, it is the gateway to letting go. This is why the alpha path satisfies the desires of the beta condition. Because once you know that you can experience anything you want, once you know that you can manifest anything you want, everything is just an experience of energy, then you are free from engaging with the energy that draws you away from your alpha state and this allows you to develop a deep level of groundedness, serenity, and peace. From this position, you can focus your awareness on the other and this becomes service.

Okay, now let’s talk about how this shows up specifically in relationships with money, with people and with the self. I mean really, when it comes to relationships, brothers, I’m going to give you some examples as well. I’m going to give you guys a lot of examples actually. This is the example episode. But let’s start with relationships, because remember, here’s the premise. Here’s what you really need to always know is it this is just a function, a binary function of awareness. You are love. You are awareness, and whatever you choose to consciously draw your awareness to, you are loving and attracting. Whatever you let go off, whatever you release your awareness from, you are setting free and you’re letting go.


So, love in relationships, when you’re in a relationship with anything, whether it’s money, whether it’s a person, whether it’s a thing, like your job, an animal, yourself. And again, self is, I mean, the beta self, not the alpha self, because awareness of awareness is love, and that’s where it’s turned outward. But I mean, the relationship you have with your mind, with the energy of self. Not with the true self, but with the energy. The energy of mental energy, of vibrational energy.

Love in those relationships is awareness and attention. So, when I put my awareness and attention on money, I’m loving money. Now, you can say that I’m putting my awareness and attention on money, and I’m telling myself a story that money’s hard, or that money is evil, or that only greedy people have money, that bad people have money or that money is evil, then yeah, okay, I’m loving money, because I’m putting my attention on it. But it’s the content of the story, it’s the content of the energy that gets the love. The universe will respond to the content. It responds to what you ask it for. So, if you’re saying money is hard, and you’re putting your attention on that story, that is the content of what you will experience, that money will be hard because you’re telling the universe, you’re basically telling the universe through your love of attention, that you want to experience money being hard, you’re asking for that.

So, it’s not like you thinking about money just means you’re loving money, you’re going to attract a bunch of money to you. You’re attracting the energy of the content of the story, or have the vibration or of the thing. If it’s a mental energy, then you’re attracting the content of the story. It’s a vibrational energy, then you’re attracting the feeling. If money makes you feel icky, like if money makes you feel like, “Oh, I just feel gross. I feel sad or I feel bad or I feel unworthy.” Then again, you loving money, you’re not going to attract money. You’re going to attract that feeling. Because that’s what you’re loving. That’s what you’re putting your attention on. That’s so important for you to know.

Now, freedom in relationships is the opposite, right? Freedom in relationships is letting go. Freedom in relationships is trusting. Trusting and letting go. It’s saying, “It’s okay.” Relationship with money, I can say I can take and take my mind off of money. I cannot think about money and it’s okay. I trust. That when I do think about money, I will attract it. And it will still be there that I can let go of that energy. I can let go of this mental ruminating energy, and trust that I don’t have to worry. With the moment I choose to put my awareness back onto it, that I’ll begin to attract it again.

Because so many of us are afraid of letting go. We’re afraid of not thinking about something or letting something go, because we’ll never experience it. That it will be gone from us. We fear a loss. That’s what loss is. Okay, brothers, loss is freedom, essentially. It’s letting go of energy. And both the required. Love and freedom are both required in relationships. Awareness and attention is required. Letting go and trusting is required. These are both required. That’s why it’s not an either-or. We don’t want love or freedom in relationships. We want love and freedom in relationships. Because love only, attachment to love, or only love and relationship becomes possession, ownership, and jealousy. Right? I’m not talking about love as a feeling. I’m talking about over-attention. I’m talking about over-awareness, to be putting too much attention over attention, on a thought, on a person, on a thing. It’s not being able to let go. It’s not being able to allow freedom to enter the picture. And when you don’t allow freedom to enter the picture, then you are now talking about possessiveness. It’s mine. I can’t let go of it. I own it. Ownership, right? It’s mine.

Jealousy. Jealousy is a feeling that comes from these types of over, over loving. Not over-loving as an emotion. I want to keep repeating that. Not talking about love, because you can never over-love someone as an emotion. You can always love somebody no matter what. I’m talking about over-attention. Not being able to remove your attention from them. Not being able to give them a person or thing, the freedom of your awareness. And that attachment to freedom, if you give something too much freedom, then it becomes indifference, aloofness, or emotional unavailability and that’s in a relationship. Because understand, brother, there are so many humans that are free of my energy. I say my energy, that are free of my awareness. They being energy, right? Their energy.


I’m not thinking of some guy who lives in, Turkey, Istanbul right now who’s probably at this time of day, maybe going to sleep or resting soundly in his bed. I’m not thinking about him. But I’m thinking about him, am I having any feelings about him? I certainly don’t see him or smell him or anything like that. There’s no physicality in terms of form. So, there’s no energy coming from that being that I’m loving, right? I’m not attracting any of it. It’s totally free. So, with that indifference, aloofness, emotionally unavailability, I’m talking more about relationships. I’m talking about if you’re in a relationship with someone or something, and you’re giving that thing, excessive freedom, like you have an imbalance of freedom in that relationship, then it will show up as indifference, right? It’ll show up as aloofness. It’ll show up as emotional inability, because it’s all about balance brothers. It’s about walking the razor’s edge. You got to find that perfect pull, push, tension, of balance between love and freedom that’s so perfect it won’t break even a spider’s web.

Now, I want to give you guys a couple of examples. Of course, one of them has to do with the dating industry, because I want you guys to know that what I’m telling you is not something that’s weird or wild, or I’m actually telling you the same thing that a lot of worldly coaches are telling you. I’m just doing it from a spiritual perspective, from an energetic perspective, and from a way that will help you go inward, rather than pay so much attention outward. Because really, what I’m talking about is, you may have heard of this in dating or in relationships. If you ever heard of something called the shit test, right? Like where you may be going and dating a girl, talking to a girl, maybe it’s even the first time you’ve ever talked to a woman. You approach her, you talk to her, and there’s this idea that she will shit-test you. Have you heard of this? Maybe you have, maybe you haven’t, I don’t know. It’s talked about in dating. It’s talked about pickup, dating coaches, relationship coaches, and so on.

But really what it is, is it’s exactly this. She’s looking to test your awareness. She’s looking to test your attention. She wants to see how well you can maintain love, how well can you maintain your focus of attention, or how quickly how easily will you be distracted? How well can you be knocked off your seat of the alpha? How quickly, how easily can you chase other energy? Chase this other energy of thought. Chase this other thought energy. How can you stay in a loving presence versus loving this other thing? I use, what I call the bee analogy. I don’t think I’ve ever used it on the podcast before. If you’re in the academy, you’ve heard me talk about the bee analogy before and it’s so wild that when bees show up, so wild when bees show up.

I’m not afraid of bees. I got to tell you brothers, I’m not afraid of bees. I’ve been stung many, many, many, many times. I think maybe a dozen times in my life and maybe not as many times, being 43 years old. I’d say probably, once every four years, maybe, I get stung. I don’t know. It seems like it’s not that often. But maybe it is, I don’t know. But I’m just not afraid of bees. I just don’t care. A bee comes around, I’m not distracted by it. When I’m having a meal with somebody, I’m sitting across from them, it doesn’t matter who it is. It could be a family member, a friend, could be a girlfriend, doesn’t matter. I’m sitting across and a bee shows up, it doesn’t get my attention. I don’t even break my sentence. I’m talking, I’m having a conversation. Maybe I’m listening to what the other person is saying, maybe I’m enjoying my meal, and a bee shows up. I don’t even notice the thing. I mean, I noticed the thing, but I don’t react to it.

The reason why I use the bee analogy, and I could use anything as an analogy, a loud sound or some other type of distraction that people get a distraction. Maybe the ping of text messages or the ring of a phone, because people get distracted. Two people having a conversation, giving each other attention, focusing on each other, giving each other the love, that’s love, that’s attraction, its attention. You’re loving that person because of your awareness, your soul is giving them attention. And again, in relationships, that’s so important to give the person attention. That’s why I’ll talk about quality time versus quantity time in a moment. But it can be distracting. It can be so distracting. That’s really what a shit test is. It’s the bee analogy where I’ve seen people where the bee will be – it’ll be flying around me and that person will be distracted. I won’t break my sentence. I won’t break a sweat. I’m still talking, nothing’s changed, nothing. Everything’s normal. And they’ll be like, “Oh my gosh, there’s a bee. There’s a bee. We got to get out of here.” They start freaking out. Got to get this bee out of here. Or they’re in the middle of a talk and all the sudden bees start swarming and they just jump out of their seat, they run around, they start swatting at it, they get all freaked out, that they’ll get stung and that’s kind of what the shit test is. At least that’s the way I see the shit test is. It’s basically like she notices a bee, there’s a bee swarming around you. And she wants to see if your attention is going to be drawn off of her, it’s going to be drawn off of the conversation, off of presence. And if your awareness is going to be drawn on to the bee instead, it’s going to be drawn onto this harmless little insect that really, yeah, might sting you. I mean, maybe, but probably not. And even if it did sting you, so what? Most people I know that are afraid of bees, like don’t even have allergic reactions to them. They’re fine. It’s just a little bit of pain that lasts a couple of minutes, right? Most people don’t have allergic reactions and the people that do have allergic reactions, they have epi-pens. So even with that, like they’re still safe, they’re still okay.


So, there’s really no danger, but people are so freaked out. And that brothers to me is the bee analogy. It is the shit test where the woman, she’s basically saying, “Okay, I’ve got this guy here, this guy. He seems to be engaged. He seems to be grounded. He seems to be entertaining, exciting. Let me see what would happen if I draw his attention to that bee that swarming around his head.” So, she pulls a shit test. She says something, she does something that draws your attention.

Now, other coaches like dating coaches, they may tell you to do this or do that. They may say, give you some sort of logistical advice. But for me, brothers, a spiritual coach, I just tell you to stay focused, stay grounded. It’s just a bee. Okay, there’s a bee. So, what? That’s kind of the thing. The shit test is just to, “So, what?” She just throws something out there. It’s just energy. What are you going to do? Are you going to chase that energy? Are you going to lose that focus? Are you going to lose that love and set her free, essentially, set that being free, that physical being free, and pay attention to other thought, energy, because that’s the shit test. The shit test is the thought energy. She tries to throw you off. I don’t know, if it’s happening consciously. Maybe it is on her end, it doesn’t matter. Because now you’re no longer paying attention to her physical energy, the presence of who she is. Now, you’re up in your mind.

I’ll give you an example, a personal story. What happened many years ago, when I was living in Oregon, I was living in Portland and I had a gym and I took this girl out, I just met her, she’d come into the gym, and she was really cool. I decided to take her out. I was driving a motorcycle at the time. And driving a motorcycle, I picked her up, we were going out on a date, and it was after the date. So, we’re actually going from the date to another place. I took my hand off the handlebars and put it on her leg because you can imagine, like driving a motorcycle, you reach back, you kind of stroke the leg a little bit. She took my hand and removed it from her leg and she put it back on the handlebars.

Now, here’s the thing and stay with me brothers, stay with me on this, because that was an inherently unsafe thing to do. I’m now driving a motorcycle with one hand and if you’ve never driven a motorcycle with one hand, just know that a lot of things are operated with the hands, right? The throttle, the brake, and the clutch, like a lot of things are operated with the hands. So, it’s an inherently unsafe thing to do. And at that moment, I am in presence. I’m in flow. Everything’s good, everything’s great. But then there’s that move. Then there’s that shit test. And it wasn’t even really – maybe it wasn’t a shit test. Maybe she just wanted me to be safe. Maybe she didn’t want my hand there. Who knows what she wanted. It doesn’t really matter. This was years ago.


But at that moment, what happened for me was, I got blocked up. I got blocked up with mental energy. I’ve basically failed the shit test. I basically started following the bee. Because in that moment, when she put my hand back on the handlebars, I started thinking. I was no longer present. I was in my mind wondering, “Oh, my gosh, why did she move my hand? Is she thinking I’m not being safe? Is she thinking I’m not a good driver? Does she not want me touching her? Are we not making a good connection? Is this something about me? Is there something wrong?” So, all now, that mental energy is basically the bee, right? That’s the shit test, that’s the bee. I’m no longer present with her. I’m chasing all of this worry and doubt and all this other stuff and it’d be like having a conversation at a restaurant where rather than engaging in her, engaging in the person there and having the conversation, a bee shows up and I like to stand up and jump around and look like a fool in the restaurant because I’m so afraid of the bee. The bee has all my attention.


Well, in this case, my mind had all my attention. That’s the shit test, brothers. And when your mind has all your attention, you’re no longer present. She knows it. She sees that you get knocked out of your seat of groundedness and she recognizes like, “Oh, if this guy is going to be distracted by something as small as a bee, or something as small as me moving his hand off on my leg, or whatever the shit test is, whatever.” Then that’s where the energy starts to separate. That’s where the resonance, that’s where the attraction, that’s where the love starts to break up a little bit. Because you basically set her free. You’re no longer giving her your attention. You’re now giving your worries attention. Your insecurities the attention. You’ve set her free, and with that freedom, she doesn’t feel your attraction. She doesn’t feel your love. 

So, that’s an example of my story. Now, I have a couple more and I know we’re coming short. I mean, again, I try to get these under 30 minutes. But I do want to offer this again, because we’re talking about relationships, brothers and because we’re talking about relationships, again, I want to be vulnerable with you guys again. I want to tell you that there’s so many – the reason why I do what I do is because I’ve lived a journey of relationships. My life has been relationships. That’s what my entire life has been around. It’s been around – what am I relating to? Who am I and who is the other? That’s pretty much it right? That’s always the question. Who is this person? And who is the eye that is aware of this person? And that’s kind of the two questions.

So, when it comes to relationships I’ve had a lot of them, a really lot of them. And it’s some of those relationships I’ve been imbalanced, in many of those relationships I’ve been imbalanced. I’ve been imbalanced who I’ve over loved and I’ve been imbalanced where I’ve given too much freedom. I’ve had over freedom. It’s just awareness, right? It’s just attention. And that’s so, so, so important for you guys to know. Because in the relationships where I was giving too much love, I was giving too much attention. It was like, it’s almost like a neediness. It was like a desperateness. It was like, I’m giving you attention because I want your attention, because I don’t feel loved, so I’m going to give my love to you, in the hopes that maybe your love will come back to me and that was a needy place for me. That was a really needy place for me. Because for me in that place, it was like, I’m really just wanting to have attention put upon me.

In order for me to do that, I need to give attention out. I need to give that love, to receive that love. But here’s the thing, because I never felt it, because I never felt like it was enough. I never felt like I was loved enough, I would be giving more and more and more attention. I would be over-attentioning, right? I would basically be suffocating this poor woman who was in my life at the time. And it wasn’t just a woman, it was several women that I over-loved. I simply gave them so much attention because I didn’t feel loved in my own life. And then there are other relationships where I did the opposite, where there was too much freedom, where they kept coming to me and telling me like, “Why don’t you talk to me? Why don’t you reach out to me? Why don’t you give me attention? Why don’t you pay attention to me?”


And for me, I just wasn’t there. I wasn’t there. I wasn’t giving my attention. My attention was going to other places, right? I was putting attention on my business or I was putting attention on my friends. I was putting attention on my own routines, of going to the gym or meditating. I was just not giving attention. Those relationships, there was no balance there either. There was no love. There was not enough giving.

So, you see brothers, it’s about that balance, it’s going to be about that balance, it’s going to be about that balance in all relationships, whether it’s a relationship with a person, or a thing, or even yourself. I say self, not the capitalist self. But the smaller case self. If you’re only giving attention to your body, then that can turn into vanity, right? That can turn into some kind of really self-obsessiveness, where you’re over attending to this physical energy that is your form, to have that balance means to give yourself some freedom, not put some attention on your body, put some attention to other places. So, it can happen everywhere and anywhere. It’s all about allowing the energy to flow. Stay in the moment, so that as you love this thing now, you love it as it has your attention. In the next moment, you can set it free. Because the moment you become attached to it, and you won’t let it go, you won’t allow your attention, your awareness to pass to the next thing in the next moment, whether that’s a thought, a feeling, or a physical energy, then you get stuck in that thought, feeling, or physical energy that you’re not allowing to flow. Your awareness and attention gets stuck there and you over love it, and then you attract more of it. 

That’s the attraction. When we talk about mental energy, we talk about rumination. That’s ruminating. It’s getting stuck in your head. A lot of men, I know a lot of you do that. That’s mental, that’s masculine. Consciousness is masculine, you understand that, brothers? Consciousness is masculine. Nature, the physical form, that’s feminine. That’s why we say Mother Earth. Earth is the mother. It’s feminine because it’s the physical form. Mental energy, consciousness, that’s masculine. When we talk about these energetic polarities.

So, of course, if you are a masculine male, you are going to be masculine in your energy, you’re going to be very conscious, you’re going to have a lot of mental energy. But if you get stuck there, if you get stuck in your head, you start to ruminate, it means that you’re over-loving that energy. You’re not letting that energy be free. Let it free. Let it pass through you. Notice it and then let it go. Watch it and let it pass. And this is where we get into some things, some ideas that you guys can work with, in your physical relationships, as well as your mental and emotional relationships. Relationship with your story, relationship with your feelings, and relationships with people and things. Because it’s about quality versus quantity time. It’s not about quantity time. It’s never about quantity time. It’s always about the quality of the time. And when I say time, I mean attention, I mean awareness. If you’re just giving your awareness to something in high quantity, then you’re probably out of balance. You’re probably over-loving something, because it’s of high quantity. Don’t overdo it with high quantity. Give it high quality.


In that moment, if you’re going to put your focus on something, if you’re going to put your attention on something, you’re going to give that awareness to something which is love, then love it. Love it, love it, love it, love it. Love it as if your life depended on it. Put your attention on that thing as if your life depended on it because then you can experience it and let it free. You can experience its totality and then let it go. But if you’re just doing it in terms of quantity, then you’re probably just overdoing it. I’m just going to keep doing and doing and doing it. It’s not about the doing, brother. It’s about the quality of the being. It’s about the quality of the attention. It’s about being there present. And that’s what it is. It’s about being 100% present with whatever it is that you’re aware of. If you’re not present with your awareness, then whatever it is, you’re loving, you don’t even though you’re loving it. You’re just not aware of what you’re putting your awareness on. That’s unconsciousness. That’s where most people live, in an unawareness of what they’re being aware of.

Wow, that sounds so wild, right? They’re not aware of what they’re aware of. They’re not aware of what they’re loving. They’re not aware of what they’re attracting, they’re not aware of what they’re choosing. That’s what it is. That’s what unconsciousness is. The real trick, the real secret, the real power, the real move, the real journey, the real path, the real quest, the real practice, of this spiritual life, is about being aware of what you’re aware of. Is about being conscious. It’s about being present. Be here now. Where are you? Be here. And when you’re here, you will know what it is you’re loving. You’ll know what it is you’re being attentive of, attentive to, and aware of.

That’s how you do it, brother. Be aware, balance, balance, balance. And remember, nothing is wrong with either. Nothing is wrong with loving, nothing is wrong with freedom. There are balance of energy. When you’re aware of it, you’re loving it, when you’re free of it, you’re letting it go. And that’s what’s important. That’s always what’s important. You’ve probably noticed this anecdotally in your own life without knowing that it was a matter of energetic magnetism, right? Push, pull. Energetic love and freedom. The people in your life that you text, that you call, that you’ll give your attention to, they’re probably there. They’re probably consistent. The people in your life that you don’t, the people in your life that you don’t give that attention to, that connection to, they’re probably slowly drifting further and further apart, right? Because that’s freedom.

Everything is energy. Human beings are energy we see human beings walk, right? We see the bodies walk, and we think they’re walking, they’re moving, they’re doing something, but they’re just energy. They’re just drifting through this field, through this field of energy. This field of energy is like the field of water that a fish swims in and we are drifting through it. We’re floating through it like an apparition. It seems like people are walking, but they’re not walking, they’re existing. We’re all just existing. And when we exist in love, we connect, we attract, and we come together. When we exist in freedom, we go apart. We’ve drifted away from each other. And they’re both right and they’re both wrong. I should say, neither is right or wrong. They’re both right because they’re both perfect. They’re both a part of the human experience. It’s just about what we want to experience. We love what we experience because we’re experiencing it, we’re choosing it, we’re attracting it, and we set free what we don’t want to experience because we let our attention go. We no longer give it our attention.

This matters. This matters because this is who you are. These two podcast episodes, take them listen to them again, take them deeply into your soul brother because this is who you are. You are the observer, you are the witness. This is quantum physics. This is measurable, provable. This is science. I’m not giving you woo-woo spirituality. This is science, okay? We are living in an energy field. You are the observer. What you choose to observe collapses into a particle. It collapses into form. You are loving it and manifesting it. You’re bringing it into being. What you choose to set free, what you choose to not give your attention to becomes free. It’s a wave function. It has pure potential, but it has no form. Because it’s not manifested. It’s not love. It’s just potential. When you observe it, it’s form. When you don’t observe it, it’s potential. When you observe it, you’re loving it. When you don’t observe it, you’re setting it free.

That’s the move. That’s existence. That’s what we’re dealing with here. Everything is energy. When you pay attention to your mind, that’s what you’re collapsing. You’re collapsing the pure potential of thought energy into one particle, into something that will become, into something that will become a form. That’s your power. Do you see it? Do you see, and understand how powerful you are? You’re the observer, you’re the witness. You get to experience the playground of existence. Enjoy it. Enjoy yourself. Love it. Love yourself. Love all of it. Love all of existence. Love all people, all things. Because it’s there. It’s there for you. Love it emotionally. But constantly be setting it free as it flows through you. Don’t attach to anything. Love it in the moment and set it free as it passes and that’s what I have for you today, brothers. I know it’s a big message. To find clarity on this message and how you can apply it in your life, enroll in the academy. It’s there for you. It’s available. It’s created. It’s there. It’s set up. I’m waiting. We’re all waiting, join. Come to us and begin your spiritual journey. Begin to understand how this applies directly to you, and how you can love everything. And at the same time, be free of it all, allow it to just flow, so that there’s no suffering, there’s no attachment. I love you, brothers. I’ll see you next week. And until then, my friends, elevate your alpha.


[00:35:33] ANNOUNCER: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Alpha Male Coach Podcast. If you enjoyed what you’ve heard and want even more, sign up for Unleash your Alpha: Your guide to shifting to the alpha mindset, at the alphamalecoach.com/unleash.



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