We’ve been discussing the universal truth for how life works for the past few weeks now, and we’re on to the part where this really starts to impact your life – your actions. All the work you’ve done on your thoughts about your circumstances, thoughts, and the emotions that ensue becomes huge when you start to take action.
Alpha men are men of action. To be fair, Beta men take actions too, but you’ll notice an amazing difference between the actions of these two groups. Being able to take confident action from a place of abundance and focus is a huge part of unleashing your Alpha.
Tune in this week to discover how an Alpha processes his emotions, allowing him to take the actions that will change his life for the better. An Alpha knows that life is a 50/50 balance of positive and negative and embraces this in his decisions. If you find yourself taking actions focusing solely on getting the girl, working on rock-hard abs, or making fast money instead of becoming the full Alpha package, then I’m here for you, brother.
Welcome to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast, the only podcast that teaches men the cognitive mastery and alpha-mindset that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence. Here’s your host, certified life coach and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud.
What’s up, my brothers? Welcome back to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. I am the Alpha Male Coach, Kevin Aillaud. And here we are, continuing to extrapolate and explain the Model. And the Model is what we use to align ourselves with the universal truth.
Now, the universal truth is that it is our thoughts that create our emotions, our emotions drive our actions, and our actions create our results, which will then reaffirm our original thought. And the circumstances of our lives are completely neutral and out of our control.
We may think that they are what is creating our thoughts, emotions, actions, results, but that is not true. That is the illusion that we are taught, and that is really where most beta men are stuck in their mindset. They’re kind of stuck in this idea that things happening outside of them, things that are out of their control, is what is determining their emotions, their actions, and their results.
So the universal truth and what we use to align ourselves with the universal truth is called the Model. And what the model is, is just taking anything in our life and it puts it into one of those five categories; whether it’s factual and objective and out of our control, which would be a circumstance, or whether it’s a sentence in our brain, which is a thought, whether it’s a vibration in our body, which is an emotion, whether it is something that we do or don’t do. There’s a behavior pattern that we have, which is our action. And eventually, what will show up in our life, how it affects our life, what’s happening as a result of our action, which is the result.
That is our Model. And when we talk about actions, we come to a very interesting part of the Model. In fact, it’s one of my favorite parts of the Model because we go up the Model and we go down the Model. We go both ways with it.
When we get to the action part, we look at how the emotions are driving our actions. You see, everything we do is because of an emotion. Everything we don’t do is also because of an emotion. So if we have fear, we are probably going to be in a place where we don’t act; it’s going to be an inaction. It’s going to be a paralysis or a procrastination. When we have confidence, we are going to create massive action.
Now, what’s curios, or what you guys need to know about the link between emotion and action is that the single emotion can create different actions, so it could drive different actions. So when you feel confident, you have different postures of confidence. You’ll stand different ways.
When you have confidence, you’ll have different words; you’ll say different things. So a single emotion may create different actions. But when we go down the Model, every single action is going to determine a specific result; one action for one result. And that is the law of cause and effect.
Now, we’re going to talk about results next week, but this is important because really what we’re looking at is like a funnel. We’re looking at a funnel where we have access to all these different emotions, and all these different emotions are going to create all different actions, but every single action is going to determine one result. So you can have one emotion creating 10 different actions, and every one of those actions creating 10 different unique results.
Now, I have spent a lot of time talking about alpha males being cognitive masters, being cognitively and emotionally responsible men. But I also want you guys to know – it’s very important that you know – that alpha men are men of action. So when we talk about action here, we’re really going to get into some different stuff.
Thinking and feeling happens in our body, right? The thoughts, the sentences in our mind and our emotions, the vibrations that occur in our body, that is purely within us. It’s always within us. But action is how we demonstrate to the world what we’re thinking and what we’re feeling and essentially who we are, because our actions – people say, our actions speak louder than words. And this is true. This is a fact, because you can say anything you want.
In fact, it’s also to be said that you can fake behavior as well, which I’ll get to in a moment. But when we look at the difference between the true alpha male and some of these beta men, like I mentioned before, these beta men like the Mr. Nice Guy, the bad boy, the perfectionist, you’re going to notice a big difference in action.
So when we look at this action, and we’re talking about how alpha males act, they act purposefully. They act deliberately. And I have mentioned a lot about women and wealth and health – these are the three traits that I teach my students; the three alpha male traits that I spend a lot of time coaching my students on is wealth, women, and health.
But I want you guys to know that these are just – think about it like electrons. These are three electrons circling around a nucleus. And that nucleus is you. It’s your purpose in life. It’s your mission. So the true alpha male is always bound in this nucleus. He’s always aiming for and creating and staying true to his purpose in life. That is really where you find the true alpha male.
The true alpha male is purpose-driven, is mission-oriented. And these electrons that circle this nucleus, wealth will come when you are true to your mission, when you are true to your purpose. Women will be attracted to you when you are staying true to who you are, when you are true to your purpose.
And your health is a measurement of your purpose, of your mission, and what you are doing in your life. Now, you spend time with each of these. You spend time managing your money, you spend time managing women, you spend time managing your health. These are things that are a part of your life, but they are the electrons; they are the surrounding pieces.
So, all of your action is dedicated to your purpose. All of your action is dedicated to that mission. So that is why you are taking action. Now, where actions come from are emotions, because that is the Model. That is the truth. That is the truth for how life works.
Our actions come from our emotions, but our emotions are created by our thoughts, by the sentences in our brain. And those sentences is what we want to pay attention to. It’s what we want to be deliberate about and be focused on what our purpose is in this life to create the emotions and drive the actions that we’re looking for.
So when I say, why are you taking action? Why are you acting? The answer is because of an emotion, obviously, but the truth is, your actions are to determine the results that you want in your life, that law of cause and effect. And that result comes from the desire to fulfill your purpose.
Beta males are looking at the electrons. Beta males are acting to fulfill the result of having a woman. Beta males are acting to fulfill the result of having more money. Beta males are acting as a result of having perfect health. There’s this idea that if I have the perfect body, then I’m good. There’s this idea that if I’ve got this woman, then I’m good. If I’ve got this money, then I’m good.
The alpha male is driven by the nucleus, gentlemen, driven by your purpose. You maintain focus on your purpose. You keep your cognition, you keep your thoughts aimed at your purpose, driving them with massive confident emotion and your actions will create those results. And the electrons will keep swirling. The electrons will be there. They’re just kind of there to support that nucleus.
Now, let’s get back to talking about action again because there is action regardless of emotion. There’s this action that we take when we’re not aware of our thoughts, when we’re not aware of our bodies. It’s kind of like action, not in spite of negative emotion, but action while resisting negative emotion.
And we want to be very careful of this because when we talk about action, we want to make sure that our actions are generated by our thoughts and our emotions. We’re not taking actions with a lack of awareness of our thoughts and our emotions, because that needs willpower.
Now, you might have heard of willpower before. Willpower exists. It’s there for us. It’s kind of like this special tank that gives us the ability to take action. But it’s depleted. It’s something that doesn’t last forever. So when you think about willpower, think about somebody who’s trying to change their food protocol – if we’re talking about nutrition, if we’re going into the realm of health – they’re trying to change their food protocol without changing how they think about food, without being aware of their thoughts about food and their emotions around food, they’re just going to change the way they eat; that is a willpower piece.
And in that willpower piece, it can last a week, it can last a month. I mean, you’ve heard of these week-long lenses or 30-day challenges. But what happens for most people – men and women together combined, it happens to everybody. Willpower is a non-gender specific thing – what happens is that your willpower is depleted, then you go back to your old habits because you were unaware. You never changed your thoughts and you never changed your emotions. You didn’t have the awareness of what was happening in your mind and what was happening in your body.
You were just simply changing the action and resisting what was happening in your mind and body. And when you do that for too long, your willpower gets depleted and then you go back to your old habits. We go back to what we had before.
So when we take action as alpha men, we’re not taking action with the resistance or with a lack of awareness of what’s happening in our mind and our emotions. We’re taking action with the awareness of what’s happening in our mind and in our body and our emotions.
Now again, guys, this can be an interesting place to go because, well what if what’s happening in my body is fear? What if what’s happening in my body is boredom or procrastination? Like, I’m anxious. I don’t want to act. I see a beautiful woman and the beta mind inside of me is full of fear. I don’t want to approach her. I’m afraid of what she’ll say and she’s beautiful and whatever.
So how do I become the alpha male by stepping up, by creating the thought, by having the confidence, by really not caring what she thinks about me because I am the man, because you are the prize? You think that she’s the prize, so you’re worried about her rejecting you, which is the beta mindset, but you are the prize, brother. You are the man.
Now, how do you take action in spite of having a beta male mindset? Well again, part of that, we come into coaching. That’s where the coaching comes from. But you have to be aware of the cognition. You have to be aware of the thought and you have to be aware of the emotion.
So that is why I spend so much time talking about alpha males really being cognitive masters and emotionally responsible men. There has to be awareness. There has to be awareness of your thoughts and you have to be aware of what’s happening in terms of vibration in your body because the sentences in your mind – guys, understand that the brain is a tool.
The brain is there for you. You can think anything you want. The thoughts in your mind are in your control. They’re not sentences in your brain that you are not in control of. Whatever you’re thinking right now is because you’re choosing to think it.
When you see a woman and you think she’s beautiful, you’re choosing to think that she’s just this great thing, she’s out of my league, blah, blah, blah. Like, if you’re in this nice guy role where you’re thinking, oh if I can just say something to impress her, that is a thought that you’re having due to a choice. It’s not put there because of her; it’s put there because of you.
So because your brain is a tool, you can think what you want to create the emotions that will satisfy your desire to act, that will satisfy your actions. Now again, we go back and we say, “Kevin, look, I get what you’re saying, I hear what you’re saying, but it’s difficult. My whole life, I’ve been training my brain to think this way.”
And you’re absolutely right. That is why we have to rewire the brain. And we rewire the brain to think in the deliberate way you want to think to create the emotion you want to have, which will then lead to the actions that you’re ready to take.
So it does take training. It does take rewiring. It does take learning. It’s a skill set, gentlemen. It is a skill set. It’s not something you’re born with. People aren’t born with confidence. People aren’t born with doubt. They develop these things. That’s why you see some men that are naturals with women, they are naturally confident. That’s’ why you see some men that are naturally good at making money; they’re just naturally out there making a million bucks.
No, they were taught this throughout their life. Some men are easy. Some guys, they stick to a food protocol and it’s easy. It’s like, “Oh yeah, my relationship with food is good. I go to the gym every day.” And another guy is like, “Man, it’s so hard for me to eat right. it’s so hard for me to go to the gym.”
This is a trained conditioned thought pattern that you have developed over your life. It’s the same with women. It’s the same with wealth. So really, what we’re talking about is rewiring the brain to create the alpha male mentality. And the alpha male mentality is driven by purpose; driven by your mission. What is your purpose in life? Find it. Stick to it. And don’t let anything distract you from it.
Now, guys, I know that there’s going to be negative emotion. We talked about that last week. Negative emotion is important. We have to have negative emotion. The reason why we have to have negative emotion – I’m not going to go back. You can listen to last week’s podcast – but it’s essentially for two reasons.
Number one, because negative emotion makes positive emotion feel better. There cannot be negative without positive, there cannot be positive without negative. So we have to have this negative emotion in order for the positive to exist. But the second thing is – because remember what an emotion is. An emotion is just a chemical. It’s just a molecule. It’s just a neuropeptide, a neurotransmitter. It’s something that is in our body that unlocks the membrane, the shell of a cell, and then it creates a change in the cell.
Now, if we only had positive emotions – think about it like a drug. If we only had positive emotions, if we were doping our body with confidence all the time, then our cells would get used to the drug of confidence. Like, our cells would get used to that particular neurotransmitter. It would get used to that particular neuropeptide.
So what happens is we now need more of those chemicals. We now need more of those emotions to create the same effect. And actually, we build up like a resistance to it. So what our body does is it feeds us a little bit of doubt to ease off that confidence.
That way, we can stay in a state of health, in a state of homeostasis. When we’re in a state of homeostasis, when we’re feeling 50% negative emotion, 50% positive emotion, we’re able to always have that powerful massive actionable emotion when we want it versus becoming sort of desensitized to it.
So we need our negative emotion. But, guys, we need to act in spite of negative emotion. So I want you to think about the idea of positive and negative action. We know positive emotion and negative emotion, comfortable emotion, and uncomfortable emotion, but think about the idea of positive and negative action. How do you know which is which?
How is it possible to take action in spite of negative emotion when our emotions drive our actions? So if you’re feeling a negative emotion, are you taking a negative action? Like, I want you to think about this; when we’re working on taking action in spite of negative emotion, we don’t just abruptly change what’s going on in our thoughts.
Instead, we add another thought that creates a new emotion and drives a new action, even when the negative thoughts are still there, when they’re still active. So many times, you’ll recognize that negative thinking – or that negative emotion – I don’t want to say negative thinking because really we’re just talking about sentences, right? But that negative emotion – and you’ll change it.
You’ll be able to be aware. You’ll be able to go in there and change it. But sometimes, you just need to go to work. Sometimes, you just need to take action in spite of what you’re feeling. You still have that old thought running and you still have the negative emotion going, but you create a new thought, a new emotion. And take action anyway. You just do it.
That is why I talk a lot about how even though you have a negative emotion, you can still take action. Alpha men are men of action. In fact, fear is still a part of being an alpha male. That’s what I just said; we still have 50% negative emotion, 50% positive emotion, and to be quite honest with you, without fear there can be no courage. Without fear, there can be no confidence.
You can still create the life you want. You don’t have to extinguish negative emotion. In fact, you won’t ever extinguish negative emotion. Half of the time, half of your life, you’re probably going to experience it. But you can still drive the actions that you want, even with that negative emotion there.
It’s so important to understand that this is what’s happening, because a lot of people, they take action against their current thought system, and that doesn’t work. They take action unconscious of what’s going on in their mind. It’s important that you know what’s going on but still take action.
Allow those thoughts, allow that negative emotion, feel that negative emotion, but take the action. And that’s very different than not feeling the emotion, resisting the emotion to take action, because then we get into willpower. Then we’re talking about willpower.
So a lot of us try to pretend like that first emotion isn’t there. We resist it. we’re just like, oh it’s not there. We’ll just try to replace it. But what I’m suggesting here is that you actually have two thoughts running. I’ll even use the term Models. You have two Models running and you take action in spite of the negative model.
You have the negative model. You’ve got the negative thought which is creating the negative emotion which is really preventing you from action. It’s like, I don’t want to act, I don’t want to do it. But then you have the other Model running, which is that positive emotion driving that positive action, and you just do it. You just run it.
The goal is to use your action to serve you in everything you want. That’s the goal. That’s the alpha male. You’re results-driven. You’re mission-oriented. Half of your emotions are going to be negative, but that doesn’t mean that you need to or should take action on those feelings unconsciously.
Some negative emotions have appropriate action that you’re going to want to take and you’re going to allow that to happen. But you don’t want to take action by reacting to that emotion. So if we have that fear, we don’t react to it, we feel it and we react and we act anyway.
When we have that boredom, that feeling of oh I’m bored, I don’t know what to do, whatever it is, doubt, oh I’m doubting myself, allow it to be there and act anyway. A lot of my coaching is like this, guys.
So I’m a cognitive coach. I’m a causal coach. I have my students do a lot of action-based learning because you have to act. You have to be a part of this world. You are never going to get the results you want by going from emotion to result. It doesn’t work that way. You can’t sit in a room and meditate with your thoughts and your emotions and create the results you want. You have to act.
Now, you can control how hard you work. You can control how much you contribute and you can control the results you get, but you’ve got to take action. Putting- your head on that pillow at night knowing that you slayed it, that you had an amazing day, that all the things you set out to do, you did, is the best feeling in the world.
If you don’t already have that experience, then that is the experience that you are looking to get. That is the experience of the alpha male. Again, I’ve said it a few times in this podcast; it is purpose-driven. You have a mission. What is my mission today? What am I going to accomplish today? What will I create today? And you cannot create that, you cannot do that without taking action. So take action in spite of negative emotion.
You’ve got to get over yourself, brother. You have to get over your excuses. You’ve got to take those excuses and just pitch them, because what are they? They’re sentences in your brain. They’re thoughts. they’re creating emotions that are not serving you. So get over those. Move forward anyway and use your tendency to be efficient, because that’s what the brain really wants.
Remember, the brain is a tool for you. The brain is not your controller. The brain is in your control. Your brain wants to chill out. It wants to just relax in the cave. We’re talking about cavemen here. It just wants to stay in the cave where it’s warm, where it’s cozy. No, no, no. You need to control your brain.
You need to be the cognitive master. You need to be the alpha male. Get out there, get it done, make it happen. You set out for what you want. You define your purpose, and then you achieve. And that, my friends, is how we unleash your alpha.
Thank you very much for listening, guys. Next week, we are going to talk about results. Now, results have a couple of pieces because results aren’t just results, but results also create evidence for us and reinforce our current thinking. So we’re actually going to loop all the way back to the beginning of the model where we have our thoughts, but it is also the last podcast to go deeper into the model and the universal truth.
I really am excited for that one and I can’t wait to talk to you guys next week. Again, if you have any questions on any of this, feel free to leave it in the comments. And you also can go to my website, thealphamalecoach.com/ask-kevin – free service, I want you guys to ask me any questions there. That will send a question directly to my email and I will answer it for all of you live on Facebook Live; @thealphamalecoach on Facebook.
Thank you very much, guys. Unleash your alpha. I will see you next week.
Thank you for listening to this episode of The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. If you enjoy what you’ve heard and want even more, sign up for Unleash Your Alpha – your guide to shifting to the alpha mindset – at thealphamalecoach.com/unleash.