Ep#130: The Story We Tell Others

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Welcome back to the show brothers! Today I will be expanding on last week’s topic of the stories we tell ourselves, and getting into how these become the stories we tell others. The response to that episode was so enthusiastic that I thought it best to delve a bit deeper into this resonant issue. As you probably already know, everything in the physical world of form begins with a story, and so is central to how we live out our lives.

To start off, we look at the important truths that make up the foundation of our realities, and this comes down to how stories constantly inform our existence. The universal truth, as I have said many times before, is based on the neutrality of all circumstances. While the human experience might be an emotional one, without our perception of it, the world is a blank canvas, neither positive nor negative. It is time to take this momentous leap, where we take control of our stories, and thus our reality!

The story is always cognitive, and it is always about ourselves. Even our stories about others are about us, and likewise, the stories we tell others are not for them but are part of our interior world. Fitting these ideas into the model of alignment will unlock a power to express your true self and dreams, and live out the alpha life you have always wanted, or never even dared dream about!

It thus becomes clear that any meaningful change in our lives starts with our own story. And here’s the key brothers: if you want the actions of your ‘movie’ to be different you have to rewrite the script. You cannot make a movie that has not been written and does not have proper direction. Only then can it be acted out and become the reality of your everyday existence. So join me today, as we begin this powerful and metamorphic journey, starting from within.

Want to know more about what I do and how I can help you? Sign up for a free 45-minute session with me, and Ill show you how this works!

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

  • How the story you tell yourself about yourself relates to others.
  • The intellectual links that lead up to emotions, actions, and their consequences.
  • Inversion of the mirror principle.
  • Where our stories fit into the model of alignment.
  • How to rewrite your script to play the role you desire.
  • Acting out your ideal life and creating your favorite movie every day!

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

  • Enroll for the Elevated Alpha Society Spartan Academy here.
  • Learn how you can enter to win one of five FREE coaching sessions here!
  • Sign up for Unleash Your Alpha, your guide to shifting to the Alpha mindset.

[INTRODUCTION]

ANNOUNCER: Welcome to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast, the only podcast that teaches men the cognitive mastery and alpha mindset that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence. Here’s your host, certified life coach and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud.

[INTERVIEW]

[0:00:32.9] KA: What’s up, my brothers? Welcome back to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. I am your host, Kevin Aillaud and it seems we’ve started the party. The party has kicked off, the story you tell yourself about yourself has gotten such a huge response that I‘m very near closing the doors, capping the ceiling on the tier one academy program and starting a waiting list from all of the students that enroll in the tier two program.

Now, check this out guys. I recommend all new students begin in the tier one level, because that’s the program, that’s the part of the academy that you receive weekly, one-on-one coaching with me but because of the one-on-one coaching, I only have so many spots available and there’s been such a huge response because of last week’s podcast. That that number, that amount of students has almost reached.

If you want to enroll in the academy, if you’ve been thinking about it at all, now is the time to do it. Now is the time to enroll in the tier one program before I close that off and start a waiting list from the tier two students, so that any tier one student that dis-enrolls or they complete their first year, they decide to move on into the tier two program, then I’ll start moving tier two guys, up to tier one.

Get in there ahead of the waiting list, enroll in the tier one program. Because it seems that last week really struck a chord, it appears that learning how to live the life of your dreams is a skill that a lot of you guys in the audience really want to know.

[0:02:02.2] I decided to do a part two because the byproduct of writing the story you tell yourself, about yourself, is the story you tell others about yourself. People will treat you based on the way you treat yourself, people will believe the story you tell yourself about yourself and they will tell themselves the story about you that you tell about yourself. That’s what this podcast is about.

Before I begin, I want to remind you of two very quick principles. First and foremost, brothers, I want to reintroduce you to the truth that everything in the external world of form begins with the internal world of mind. I know I’ve spent some time with this. I know I spent some time on many episodes with this and I’m going to continue to do it because this really is the foundation, this is – when you understand this, your life will never be the same, this is seeing the matrix, this is moving beyond what we call reality. Because we always begin with a story. We always begin with a story and then it manifest into reality.

This is true of everything around us. You might have heard this before, if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? If you heard that, would the human experience be an experience without the human.

[0:03:15.4] Would the observations be the same without an observer. Certainly, well, I don’t even want to say certainly, it’s possible that a tree might still exist, a rock might still exist. But without human, without the thinker, without the subjectivity, there would be no language, there would be no tree, there would be no idea of a tree.

It would just be, it would just exist in that form of circumstance, that neutral form of what is. Even beyond, that’s even on the first level of circumstance, on the second level and on the third level, it becomes totally different. Would there be creation without the human to subjectify and mold it into form? Before everything was created, there was the mind that created it. Everything manmade around you began with imagination.

Look at the chair, look at the building, look at the car, look at the airplane, look at the iPhone. All of these things began as an idea and they became a thing. It was a story, then it was an object.

[0:04:13.9] It was a thought, then it was a result. There is the collective and there is the individual. Of course, when I talk about trees, I talk about the rocks, I talk about the sea. These things, we did not create with our mind, these came from a much stronger mind, a divine mind. We are a fraction of this mind, we are created in the image and the likeness of this mind.

It is our purpose to create our shared human experience and our individual life journey with our piece of this omnipotent and omnipresent mind. We named the tree, we named the sea, we named the rocks with our mind, this was our prerogative. From there, we created everything else from the source of mind. This is the story we tell ourselves about ourselves and the world. Collectively, we also have stories, we have stories about time. We share a story about what is a year, what is a day, what are seconds?

We have stories about distance, we share stories about miles, meters and inches. These things don’t exist without human beings. Understand. We created the distance. The distance, the space exists without humans. But we measure the distance, this is a story that we all agree to. We have money, we have dollars, we have pesos, we have credit. Without humans, there is no such thing, there is no such stories. We have areas and we have volumes, ounces, gallons, liters.

[0:05:33.8] We have so many shared stories in our species. All over the world, in all languages, we all agree to monetary value. We all agree to the distance between objects, we all agree to the passing of time when we count minutes, seconds, days. The space taken up by solids, liquids and gases are volumes that we share as a story. These are ways we agree to measure the world of form based on the stories that we share as a human species. 

Individually, we have our stories as well. Each of us is responsible for creating the story that we tell ourselves about ourselves and we call this a personality. We call this an identity and it is always determined. Brothers, there is nothing about our story that is inherent. Certainly, we have our DNA. We have our DNA to thank for parts of our expression in form. Our bone structure, hair color, eye color, skin color and in some ways, my ability to build muscle and burn energy are due to genetics.

This is cellular and a part of the world of form, coming from the genetic code of my DNA. Outside of this very limited amount of predetermined DNA through cells, everything is a story I tell myself about who I am and what I’m capable of.

[0:06:55.8] As well as the way I choose to view the world and my role, my position in it. This is the first thing I want to remind you of. If you have questions about this, listen to the previous podcast episode for more information. Of course, if you really want a deeper dive into this knowledge and the application of this truth, you are welcome to enroll in the academy and I highly recommend that you do as I mentioned before, it’s filling up very fast.

The second principle that I want to examine with you here is the universal truth. If you’re a follower of this podcast then the universal truth is a well-known concept. If this is the first episode, you’ve listened to, then this truth is the foundation of the methodology that has helped thousands of men take a momentous leap in consciousness expansion.

It has led them to a world completely unknown to fear and failure. Not that fear and failure no longer exist. Only that their expressions are not experienced in the same way as they were formally, before developing these skills and discovering the truth of the self. Because the universal truth, is that all circumstances in our life are neutral. I have already said this to you many times. 

That the world is a neutral canvas waiting to be created by you with your mind. Through the story you tell yourself about yourself. Your future brother is not set. It is a manifestation of the thoughts you’re thinking and believing now. The present moment is a manifestation of your thinking in the past. That is why what we believe is based on our past and the results that we have today are based on our beliefs from the past. All manifestations are neutral, all form is data. It is a mold, set in place by your mind. All of it is a gift from divine mind, returning to you what it is you ask for or think it to be.

[0:08:40.2] It is all data. Circumstances are neutral, raw data as they are presented in the moment. What determines our experience is the way we choose to think about experience, is the way we choose to think about our circumstance. It is the subjectivity we determine from the objectivity. In this moment, right now, you are making the neutral data mean something to you. This is the story you tell yourself about yourself. This is the story you tell yourself about the world. This is personal, this is individual and this is subjective to you and for you, what is happening for you is not happening for other people.

Facts are happening for all people. Beliefs are only happening for you. Your thoughts, your story are yours alone. This is your power and the first cause of all the effects in your life. Your thoughts create your feelings, this is what you experience as a human. You don’t experience the unconscious thought, you really don’t experience the conscious thoughts either because these are just sentences in your brain. The story in your head. What you experience is your feelings, the vibrations in the cells of your body. The human experience is an emotional one. From our feelings, we drive our actions. Make no mistake about this my friends, we are driven to act based on the vibration in our cells. 

[0:10:01.6] This is the release of energy that is produced from the vibration, the greater the vibration, the more powerful the action. Learning to allow feelings is a part of the training in the academy so that this energy is focused on a massive and determined action. Through our actions, we manifest all the results in our life. The universal truth very succinctly put is that circumstances are neutral. They trigger thoughts form our unconscious conditioning and bias, they trigger the story that we tell ourselves about ourselves. 

Our thoughts create our feelings, which are the vibration in the cells of our body. This vibration drives us to act and no action is an action. Inaction is an action. Every action has a consequence. This is the result that we call life. Our life, these results provide proof for the thoughts that created them and the cycle starts all over again.

Let’s get into the podcast, let’s get into the story we tell others. The story is always cognitive, always. We don’t express our story cognitively, however, not to others, only to ourselves. What we express to others is in word and action.

[0:11:15.1] Remember the model of alignment, which is the algorithm for the universal truth. Our action line, our A-line is the circumstance line for other people. Because other people’s actions are circumstances to us. In the end, what other people think about you tells you nothing about you and everything about them.

This is the inversion principles, which is the inversion of the mirror principle and the mirror principle is, whatever you think about other people tells you nothing about them and everything about you. I’ve done episodes on this before. Where does that leave us in the story that we tell others? Because if they are only going to see what they already believe about themselves, they’re only going to see the inversion principle, why bother telling them a story at all?

Here’s the big concept my friend, here is what I want you to take from this episode. We don’t tell other people a story about ourselves for them. We tell other people a story about ourselves for ourselves. The story we tell other people about who we are is an expression of the story we tell ourselves about ourselves.

[0:12:16.2] The story you tell yourself about yourself goes in the thought line of the model of alignment, it goes in the T-line. The story we tell other people about who we are goes in the A-line, the action line of the model of alignment. Which is what determines the R-line, the results of our life. As long as these two stories are the same, we build the third pillar of indomitable self-confidence because that’s the action pillar. If these two stories are different, we deplete our self-confidence through the dismantling of the third pillar, through the dismantling of the action pillar. I could digress into some of the concepts like willpower, self-sabotage and relapse here but I won’t in order to maintain the scope of this episode.

However, I do want to give you a very quick analogy. I want you to imagine being a Hollywood actor. You are a big movie star, right? Who is your favorite movie star, it doesn’t matter, Tom Cruise, Matt Damon, Keanu Reeves, Russell Crowe, Leonardo DiCaprio, Matthew McConaughey, Johnny Depp, right? It doesn’t matter, just pick one, who is your favorite? Like I say, it doesn’t matter. Let’s say it’s Keanu Reeves. You guys know that my favorite movie is The Matrix. Let’s go with Neo, right? Let’s go with Keanu Reeves. Okay, here’s Keanu. Keanu’s getting ready for his big role in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Have you seen this one?

[0:13:30.7] Have you seen Bill and Ted? Have you seen Point Break, have you seen anything, have you seen these movies, right? Here’s Keanu Reeves, he’s practicing his script, learning to think like Ted, learning to feel like Ted, learning to act like Ted. He’s believing he’s in high school and his best friend is Bill. He’s believing he is a great guitar player and playing poorly while thinking that he’s awesome, right? He thinks he’s a great guitar player but he’s playing horribly. Do you guys remember this movie?

Okay, so here’s Keanu, right? He’s ready for his role as Ted. He’s practiced being Ted. He’s thinking, feeling and acting like Ted and he shows up to the set of The Matrix. This is problematic for Keanu Reeves, right? He’s playing the role of Ted and he’s supposed to be acting like Neo. Can you imagine what the movie would be like? We, you and I, we’d be watching. We’d be sitting in the audience of this movie and we would have no idea what’s going on. 

We would not be believing what is happening. How is this guy, this Ted, this Keanu Reeves acting like Ted, how is he supposed to be the one, right? The one who saves Zion. He’s on screen calling Morpheus dude and calling Trinity a babe, right? It would be bananas, right? We’d have no idea what is happening. It would be totally unbelievable. This is what happens to us when we do it too. This is what happens when you tell yourself a story and you try to act differently than your story.

This can only go on for so long before you give up, before you’re will power runs out and you just go back to being your old self, right? You go back to that set of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure because this is the role that you’re prepared for. This is the role you feel comfortable in. This is the role that you believe and everyone else believes. This is cognitive dissonance brother. You’ve prepared your world, you’ve prepared your life. 

In your mind, the story that you tell yourself about yourself is that you are Ted and you are trying to act like Neo. You want to be Neo, you want to be the action star, you want to be the one but in your brain, you believe you’re Ted so you’re acting like Ted on the set of The Matrix. Now if you want to be Neo, you have to rewrite your script. You have to rewrite your script, you have to think and feel like Neo. You have to be different in your mind. 

[0:15:43.9] Because otherwise you’re always going to be Ted in your mind and eventually, you’re going to go back to the set of Bill and Ted, which is to say you’re going to go back to your old life getting your old results. This is why if you want to change your life, if you want to behave differently and you want to get different results in your life, you have to start with the story. If you want to tell other people a different story about who you are, you have to start by changing the story you tell yourself about yourself. 

You have to start by changing the story you tell yourself about who you are. The story you tell yourself about who you are will be expressed as the story you tell other people about who you are because whatever is in your T-line, whatever is in your thoughts will become what is in your actions and not surprisingly, this is one of the methods I use to teach my students how to change their story. You can say I’m a cognitive mastery coach. 

You can say I’m a relationship coach, you can say I’m a dating coach. You can say I’m a wealth coach, you can say I’m a business coach. You can say I’m a health coach, you can say anything you want about the coaching that I do. I’m a life coach brothers. I help you change your life. You can even say it’s a story coach. I basically help my students prepare for a starring role in the movie that they have written and are going to direct for themselves. 

Here’s the thing and you got to hear me on this, you can’t star in a movie that hasn’t been written and has no director. You have to write the movie first. You have to write the script, you have to create it in your mind first. It has to the thoughts that you think about yourself. The thoughts you believe about yourself. You guys already have a script and it’s creating the results that you have in your life. It’s creating you, it’s driving you to act in the way that you’re acting now. 

[0:17:32.3] If you want to create a new life, you first have to write a new script and I know. I know that so many of you are into action. As men, we’re kind of into action, right? That’s the thing, that’s the wall that I am up against as a coach. As a cognitive mastery coach, as a story coach, helping men change their lives, so many of my students come to me wanting action. “Tell me what to do coach, just give me direction.” The direction I’m giving you is to rewrite your script. 

The direction I’m giving you is to rewrite your story. You’ve got to change the way you think brother and I know that you guys are so into living your life and of course, this is important. This is what we want, we want to live our lives. We want to create more wealth. Creating more wealth, you take action. You have to take action to get the result. You want to talk to more women or you want to find the woman of your dreams, of course this takes action to get the result. 

You want to develop and maintain optimal health, this takes action to create the result but think about it, all of these are actions and results. They are all effects of your story. You first have to imagine having more money, you have to imagine traveling the world. You have to imagine talking to more women, you have to imagine taking more risk. You have to imagine being more fit, you have to imagine not buffering, not doing the things that you think are distraction for you. 

You have to imagine having complete control over your actions, so much so that it’s as if you’re following a script and playing a role in a movie that you want to be your life and what kind of movie is it. Are you an action star? Do you want your life to be like James Bond, gentleman spy? Are you a comedic actor? Do you want to have a life like Jack Black in School of Rock? Maybe you’re looking to be a family man, are you a father like Will Farrell or like Mark Wahlberg in Daddy’s Home? 

[0:19:18.9] The reason people love movies brother is because TV, movies, Netflix, Amazon, whatever it is, there is so much to do with being an escape from their own life. People use TV to buffer because they avoid the emotions they feel in their own life and receive the dopamine from being a part of the story they see on screen. Essentially, television as a buffer, I mean we know why alcohol is a buffer. We know why drugs are a buffer, right? We know why sex is a buffer. 

Television is a buffer because it pulls you out of your life and puts you into another person’s story. We are living in the story that we see on the TV. But here is what I want you to know and this is the truth, what if I told you that you can make your life exactly like your favorite movie? What if I told you that you can write your own script? You can write the story you tell yourself about yourself. What if I told you that you can direct yourself through the script that you can determine how you want to experience and feel in every scene of your life?

What if I told you that you that you can be the star of this movie that you write and that you direct that you can show up and behave exactly the way you want, based on the script that you wrote and the direction you take from yourself? If I told you that and you believed me, what movie would it be? What story would you tell other people about who you are through the action line of your model, which is driven by the thought line, by the storyline of your model? 

I’m here to tell you, this is the move to make to living the life of your dreams. This is the momentous leap and it’s not for other people because who cares what other people think? What they think is about them, always. Always. What other people think tells you nothing about you and everything about them. You live the life you want because you want it. Teach other people how to treat you based on how you treat yourself. Tell other people the story you tell yourself based on the way you expressed the story you tell yourself about yourself. 

[0:21:24.8] This is why you’re here, not for the story you tell other people. That’s just an expression of your own story. And when you show up, people pleasing and validation seeking, you are lying to them and to yourself because this is not our story. This is their story. When I introduce this concept to students, to people, they always come back with some kind of, “Yeah but,” response, right? It’s like, “Yeah coach but here’s what I can’t do.” Here’s the limitations,” right? “Here’s what’s not realistic, here’s the delusion.” 

Brothers, this is the brain lying to you. This is the limiting beliefs that you’ve created as a prison for yourself and I don’t care what it is you want to achieve or accomplish, you can. You know, when I was running my cross fit gym, my very first cross fit gym, I wrote above the door in big letters, “10 burpees for using the word can’t” because all “can’t” does, is puts you in a prison. 

It puts you in a prison that you believe about yourself. If you want to be a race car driver, you can. If you want to live your life teaching other people how to skydive, you can. If you want to be married with kids, you can. If you want to travel the world as an international man of mystery, you can. If you want to go visit Mars, you can, and you know what? You just have to want it badly enough to make it your life’s purpose and believe that that is your story. To believe that that is your movie. 

The Wright Brothers believed in a story called a flying machine. They can, they did. Thomas Edison believed in a story we call a light bulb. He can and he did. Steve Jobs believed in a story we call the iPhone. He can and he did. These people believed in a story they told themselves about who they were and what they can achieve. Elon Musk believes in a story about visiting Mars. Done. 

[0:23:23.9] You can do something that no one else has ever done before or you can believe in something that lots of people have done and you don’t think it’s possible for you, so you can make it happen. Do you want to live on a boat in the South of France drinking wine and eating cheese? You can. Do you want to make $10 million as a scuba diving instructor? You can. Do you want to be the next World Series of Poker champion or do you want to build the world’s largest Lego structure? You can. 

Do you want to meet a beautiful brunette bombshell and have bundles of babies? You can. Do you want to be a professional wrestler and invent your own brand of tequila? You can. Do you want to summit Mount Kilimanjaro or tight rope walk across the Grand Canyon? Guess what brother, you can. The story you tell other people has nothing to do with other people. It’s only the actions you express to the story you tell yourself about yourself. 

This is the universal truth. This is the law of cause and effect. The story you tell other people is the role you play in the story of life. The role you play comes from the script you write. The script you write is the story you tell yourself about yourself. This is what you believe about yourself. This is your power, this is your gift and I’ll even go so far as to say it is your responsibility. Stop going along with the conditioning of your past. Stop playing the game the way other people want you to or wanted you to play it. 

If you are a part of a pack, you are not an alpha. Group think is the death of the alpha state and I’m not telling you not to have friends, brother. That is not what I’m saying at all. What I’m saying is let go of everything you think is true and start believing in yourself and in the impossible. Stop following the media, stop listening to other people tell you what you can and can’t do. You are not a beta sheep, you are an alpha wolf. You are not the prey, you are a predator. 

[0:25:19.1] You don’t need a leader, you are a leader. You’re not an extra in a global collective movie, you are the star of your own movie, and this is the momentous leap. Do you know how much power you have? How can you know until you experience it? How can you know how hot a flame is until you stand next to it? How can you know how indomitable a mountain is until you push against it? If you hear the urgency in my message, it is because I see the need for you to elevate your alpha. For you and for the world. 

The world longs for what you have to offer. It longs for your individuality. It longs for your contribution and as I said, the tier one academy is nearly full. Don’t wait, enroll now and take your place to train your personal greatness. If tier one is closed, enroll in tier two and you’ll be on the wait list to move up when spots become available. How much more time do you want to pass before you learn how to manifest your destiny? 

Wealth, health, relationships, these are all for you to create with purpose and with intention, there are no limits. There are no boundaries. There are only the lies of the beta condition. You are here to experience all of what life has to offer. This life is yours to live, you be who you are. You achieve what you deserve and now is the time. Now is the time to elevate your alpha. 

[END OF DISCUSSION]

[0:27:03.4] ANNOUNCER: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Alpha Male Coach Podcast. If you enjoyed what you’ve heard and want even more, sign up for Unleash your Alpha: Your guide to shifting to the alpha mindset, at the alphamalecoach.com/unleash.

[END]

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