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Brothers, today I want to explore the mirror principle and how it relates to oneness. Because I get a lot of questions about, “Why would I want to live in oneness?” And brothers, that’s insanity; it’s like never wanting to learn how to read. And I can’t answer that question any more than I could explain sight to a blind person. But examining the mirror principle and its role in oneness may paint a clearer picture of why understanding the universal truth is something to aspire to.
The mirror principle is simple. It states that everything you think about someone else says nothing about them and everything about you. That’s just one way of putting it, brothers. Words are merely symbols to which we assign meaning, and I could’ve as just as easily said that in the mirror principle when you say “I love you” to someone else you’re actually saying it to yourself.
Let’s go deeper there, brothers, and explore the opposite iteration, “I hate you.” Because when you hate someone else, you’re really only hating yourself. The projection of our emotions onto the other is living in duality, in the illusion that you are one thing and the other person is another. But that isn’t true. You are everything, you are oneness itself, so you are everyone and everyone is you.
So you see, brothers, duality only offers a route for hate to exist. Because if you understand oneness, if you understand your perfection, then you will begin to love everyone else just as you love yourself. You will stop blaming everything around your for the obstacles in your life and begin to see them as just that — obstacles. Merely pitfalls on the road from which you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep on moving. Because brothers, everything you give to others is what you give to yourself, and understanding that is a vital step towards elevating your alpha.
What You’ll Learn from This Episode:
- Defining the mirror principle.
- A reexamination of words.
- The basic premise of duality and the insanity of choosing to live in it.
- Honing in on the universal truth of oneness and how it relates to the mirror principle.
- How humans make the mirror of relationships more difficult than it needs to be.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
- Remember to check out the new How to Live Your Purpose course.
- Enroll for the Elevated Alpha Society Spartan Academy here.
- Sign up for Unleash Your Alpha, your guide to shifting to the Alpha mindset.
[INTRODUCTION]
[0:00:09.4] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast, the only podcast that teaches men the cognitive mastery and alpha mindset that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence. Here’s your host, certified life coach, and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud.
[DISCUSSION]
[0:00:32.7] KA: What’s up, my brothers? Welcome back to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. I am your host, Kevin Aillaud, and brothers, I’m still in Mexico. I’m still in Tulum and actually, I’m actually saying this to you guys on the podcast. So it’s kind of funny because I’m actually confessing to a crime here. This is recording, it’s recording, you guys will all hear it and it’s true, I don’t deny it.
I haven’t committed it yet but I do plan on committing it so it’s actually premeditated but I’m going to overstay my time in Mexico. Yeah, I have 180 days here and I’m going to overstay that time because I don’t know if you guys remember, I went to Puerto Vallarta for New Year. So I actually left the United States on December 30th, December 31st, something like that. I think it was December 30th because I got there the day before and celebrated New Year’s in Puerto Vallarta, which is on the west coast of Mexico.
And I spent a month there and then came to Tulum and now I’m here in Tulum and I have a six-month lease in Tulum and yes brothers, I made that cognitive mistake and I know that we don’t believe in mistakes. I know, I mean, again, I’m going to talk about words in a second but yes, I made that cognitive mistake because I have 180 days like Americans are allowed or US passport holders are allowed 180 days.
Six months in Mexico and I’m thinking, six months because I’ve got this six months lease and I completely forgot about Puerto Vallarta. So now, I’m not going to do a visa run, right? I’m not going to do all that, I’m just going to go to the airport when I leave Mexico and I’m just going to pay the fine.
So I’m admitting to it, I did it, I’m confessing it, I’m going to pay the fine so there, it’s all on record and it’s all happening but yeah brothers, I’m still in Tulum and you may be wondering what’s next and there’s a lot of things that are coming up.
[0:02:08.7] Columbia, Costa Rica, Cambodia, and just to throw something in there that doesn’t start with a C, Thailand as well. But the truth is that I always liked to go where I’m invited, right? Like I love Southeast Asia, I love Cambodia, I love Thailand, I love Vietnam and Laos. I love all that area but I always go where I’m invited as well.
It’s not, and I don’t want to say normal because what is normal? But it’s rare, I guess rare is the right word, it’s rare that I just buy a ticket and go somewhere. Usually, I’m invited. So it’s likely that I’ll end up in Columbia or Costa Rica because these are where I have some friends and so you guys may be wondering about this and that’s where some things are going to be happening.
But I am going to go back to the States because I’m going to see my family in Oregon for just a couple of months until the weather starts to turn, and that’s kind of what’s happening for me brothers, over the next few months. I’m still in Tulum and I do love it here.
I love the jungle. Now, because I’m going to Columbia, Costa Rica, I’m going to check out some other places and really get deeper into those high canopy jungles, those thick jungles. You guys know I was in Peru and the Amazon and I love that high canopy, that very, very dense jungle. So that’s what’s happening.
[0:03:17.9] In terms of reading brothers. What you’re going to find is that I’m always reading five or six books, maybe that’s an exaggeration I would say but sometimes I’m reading five or six books. Usually, it’s no less than three books at one time.
It’s going to be some kind of systems books, some kind of spiritual book, and then maybe some auxiliary, something else on the side, and sometimes, I’ll add a couple more of those, and right now, I’m reading a lot of Rumi. I’m reading a lot of Rumi in terms of the spirituality and I really find the Sufi poet to be, just an amazing – Like, he’s got so much work and it’s really, really powerful.
If you guys haven’t read any Rumi, I would highly, highly recommend it but let’s get into the podcast here because like I said, I mean, we’re in four minutes already. Let’s jump into this, brothers.
A relationship with mirrors. That’s the name of the podcast episode, what does that even mean? Well, you guys know the mirror principle. Of course, the mirror principle is: what we think about others tells us nothing about them and everything about ourselves, right? Now, that’s a very common, like that’s just a rewording of a very common concept.
[0:04:18.3] I worded it this way, I call it the mirror principle but I want to talk more about that specifically and what that means in terms of oneness, and even talk about why oneness because I get that question as well.
I want to give you guys a practical way of experiencing the truth of who you are, experiencing your energy, your energy body, your spiritual body, your beingness. I want to, because, that’s really the alpha path.
Beginning with cognitive mastery, cognitive mastery is the way you learn to utilize the mind because the mind’s job is to make your thoughts real, right? So we use cognitive mastery to really utilize and understand the tool of the mind but being an alpha male is being a spiritual being.
It’s being a spiritual being in a cellular form, and so the whole question of why oneness itself is such a fascinating question to me. And what I mean by oneness, I mean, why live through perspective of oneness than duality?
[0:05:07.2] 99% of the population, I would say, more of the species, brothers, 99.999% is living through duality, and of course, that’s what we’re taught, that’s the experience we have, that’s the third dimension.
It’s the relationship of other things as, and only as they relate to the self or the identity. I would say, the not-self, right? It’s the identity, it’s the – we call it the ego, you call it the beta condition but whatever you call it, it’s an illusion.
It’s a form of an accumulated accomplishments and movements and labels and everything that you say. If somebody says, “Hey, tell me about yourself?” That’s what you begin to talk about, right brothers?
That’s what you begin to talk about, you begin to talk about this identity, this illusion. And you may say, “Oh, but it’s not an illusion, it’s me, it’s who I am” but it’s not who you are and that’s the big movement.
[0:05:55.7] That’s the big path of the journey of the alpha male, is to recognize it that’s not who you are. That you’re not this story that you tell yourself about yourself, you’re not this accumulation of information or labels because that is usually coming from the trauma body of the cells, right?
It’s coming from the experience of where the ego developed, and the ego, we all know, developed out of fear. So it’s always such a fascinating question for me and even the attempt of the answer is very difficult. And when I say difficult, I didn’t meant difficult as in it’s like, it’s hard. It is a challenge because the question itself is a part of the insanity, right?
Brothers, the question itself is a part of the insanity because for anybody to ask like, “Why would I want to live through a perspective oneness, like, what is the purpose, what is the outcome, what is the result, what is the reason for this?”
People ask that. Of course, when people hire a business coach, they know what the outcome is. They want to have a certain outcome in their business, some certain physical outcome in the physical reality, and of course, we do that in the academy work on manifestation but when it comes to oneness, it’s more of an intangible result and it’s difficult to talk about for a couple of reasons.
[0:07:04.5] Number one because – I’ll use that as number two, I’ll talk about analogies in a second. Number one would be, it’s difficult to talk about because of words and brothers, what are words? Like really, let’s examine words.
I won’t do it very long because I’ve dedicated whole podcast episodes, really how unevolved, how simple and how unevolved, and how sort of like, mundane our communicative abilities are as human beings.
I mean, think about other animals, right? Other animals have way more sophisticated and efficient and effective ways of communicating with each other. We as humans, we utilize symbols. Symbols, right? Letters, words, ideas, right? Because the ideas are the symbols but then we create this telephone game through sound, right?
So I have an idea, I have a concept in my mind, I have an intention and I want you to understand that intention and with animals, that’s a little bit different. Different animals have different ways of communicating with each other but with human beings, what we do is we start to make sounds, right?
[0:08:07.1] We just vibrate our vocal cords and we make these sounds and all of these sounds are representations of symbols, which are letters, right? Vowels, consonants, letters, and words which are letters put together, and sentences to create this idea. But the problem is that even though sounds have to be interpreted once they reach your ears.
They reach your ears and then you reinterpret them through your mind. So how inefficient is that? Just think about how inefficient, think about how much is lost in the ineffectiveness of human communication, in the ineffectiveness of trying to speak. Text messages is even worse, right? Of course, being in person is even better, being on Zoom.
Of course, if I had a YouTube channel, be more effective because my body language will tell you guys things and of course, being in person, if I were to hold a seminar where you guys are going to come to, the most effective way to communicate is through energy, is through presence, is simply to be in the presence.
And then we can feel the vibration and the nature, the quintessence of each other but words don’t really do it. Words are a very poor way of communicating, a very, very poor way of communicating.
[0:09:12.8] So that’s one of the reasons why it’s so difficult or I would say, it’s moderately challenging to answer this question that people ask about, “What is the result? Why would I want to be an alpha male, why would I want to engage on the spiritual journey?”
Now, of course, I’m not selling the spiritual journey. You guys choose to live in duality, if you choose to live in your beta condition, if you choose to live in the matrix. Just remember that by doing that, you are asleep. You are technically asleep so the matrix has you, you understand? The matrix is in control.
If you’re not living through your alpha state, if you’re not living through your energy body, right? Your energy being, your spirit. Then you are living in the matrix, you’re living in form and, therefore, that form, that matrix, that program, whatever that’s running is in control, and again, nothing wrong with that.
Just realize that and the more you begin to realize that, the more you actually make a shift, a perspective shift into the alpha. But the other reason why it’s difficult to answer brothers is really because the outcome itself will never really be understood in the current state that you’re in, and I’ve made these analogies before as well.
[0:10:12.8] It’s kind of like being blind, right? It’s like if you’ve been blind and this maybe – look, I don’t want to be insulting to anybody out there that’s actually blind because I know that it’s not really like this, but imagine being blind your whole life, right? Imagine being blind your whole life that you can’t see.
You’ve never seen anything, you were born blind and so because you’re born blind, your whole life and nobody ever taught you anything as well because like I said, I don’t want to make this like some erroneous analogy. I want to make it as clear and as accurate as possible but imagine that no one was ever around to teach you, right?
To teach you anything, you just had to kind of get around on your own. So I know it’s a very strange thing but being blind your whole life, there are things, there’s stuff in the world that you bump into it, right?
So you’re bumping into stuff your whole life, you’re bumping into things, you don’t really know where things are, you know? It’s kind of like, “How do I get from A to B?” And no matter what happens, you think it’s normal because there’s nobody else to tell you that it’s not normal, right?
[0:11:04.9] And that’s what I mean by having nobody else. It’s kind of like, you just think being blind, you think that all experiences of consciousness, of being alive is like this – it’s darkness.
It’s darkness and yeah, throughout life, you’re going to bump into things because you’re in the dark. That’s just the way it is and that’s what it’s like living in the beta condition. You’re in the darkness, you’re bumping into stuff, and you just think that’s the way it is.
You think that everybody is blind and everybody bumps into things and that there’s no alternative but to basically bumble your way through life by bumping into things and you know, “Yeah, oh, that hurt” like I bumped into it but I shake it off because I bumped into it, it’s normal, it’s a thing.
There’s actually another path, there’s a path of sight, there’s a way to see and are the things still there? Yes, that’s the point. The point is that the things are still there. You just stop bumping into them because you realize that they’re there and you’re able to navigate around them, right?
[0:12:04.9] They’re still there but you’re navigating around them which is through an analogy to say that life is still life but you perceive and approach life completely different. And it’s also to say that, “How do you explain to somebody who is blind? How do you explain to somebody who has never seen anything” right?
Like really never seen anything. From a bird to a tree to a rainbow to a rock, like nothing. How do you explain to them what it’s like to see? How do you explain to them what it’s like to know what’s in front of you and be able to move around it?
Because again, the blind person, what they’re doing is they’re trying to really control their external environment and they control their external environment very, very well because they don’t want to bump into things all the time, right?
It’s kind of where the analogy continues, we don’t want to bump into –if you’re blind, you don’t want to bump into things all the time so you really have to know and control your external environment, and that’s exactly what the beta condition tries to do.
[0:12:53.9] It tries to control the external environment. Of course, it can’t do that. We can’t control our circumstances and that’s where again, where the suffering comes in. That’s where a lot of frustration and anger, resistance.
We resist because we think we can control it and when things don’t go the way we want them to or thought we had designed them to, there’s that, “Oh, it’s not supposed to be this way.” So there’s the control, that’s the way being blind, you get through but imagine being able to see.
Imagine being able to see, where you don’t have to control your external environment, you don’t have to know where everything is all the time to be able to not bump into things. It can just be, things can just be where they are and you can go around them and that’s exactly what I’m saying.
Circumstances can just be as they are and you can experience them as they are, which is to say go around them. You have to bump into them, you have to receive this pain and suffering from them.
[0:13:41.8] So it’s kind of that analogy but in that analogy, what I’m saying is, how do you explain to that person what it’s like to see? You really can’t. Another one would be to read. Another analogy.
People ask me, “Well, why would I want to experience non-duality? Why would I want to experience myself as energy rather than as this body?” This body, as this identity. Why would I want to experience myself as oneness, as consciousness, as energy?
Well, why would you want to learn how to read? Why would you want to learn how to read? If you didn’t know how to read, you may not be able to come up with a reason as to why you’d want to learn how to read because for you, life has just never included reading.
You just never needed it, you’ve just gotten by without it. For you, having the skill of knowing how to read is not something that maybe was ever on your radar. Yeah, you see words but just figure whatever, they’re letters, they’re symbols. Just like I got done saying.
[0:14:33.6] They’re just symbols, they’re just out there, they’re out there for other people. It’s like the white BMWs on the road. Yeah, they’re there but I just don’t see them because I’m just not paying attention to them, and that’s kind of like not being able to read.
Yeah, there are words all over the place, there are words and letters all over the place but I just don’t see them because I don’t care because they’re not on my radar. Because I just don’t know how to read, it’s just not a part of my reality.
But how do you explain to somebody that doesn’t know how to read how different their life would be if they did know how to read? How do you explain that to them? And that’s what I’m saying brothers, like, it’s very – it’s difficult and that’s again, I told you, I’m reading a lot of Rumi.
One of the things that Rumi says is, “You were born with wings, why do you prefer to crawl through life? You’re born with wings, why do you prefer to crawl through life?” and I love that statement that he makes, that question that he asks because it really creates that butterfly analogy because brother, you’re a butterfly, you understand?
[0:15:22.7] You are an alpha, you’re a butterfly and you’re still living your life as a caterpillar and you may have some caterpillar tendencies, right? You can have legs, you have the ability to walk, you have the ability to crawl as Rumi says but why? You have these wings, you’re born with them.
There might be a metamorphosis here, and I don’t want to take this too far because I want to get into some other things but does it seem obvious now? Why would you want to at least learn, at least for a moment? It’s like when you sleep at night.
When you go to sleep at night and you dream, you’re asleep in your bed in your dream, wouldn’t you want to learn how to lucid dream? Wouldn’t you want to learn how to be awake in your dream? To be awake in your dream and experience it as a dream, knowing it’s a dream?
And just be able to be there and have that feeling of knowing like, “This is a dream and it’s my reality, it’s what I’m here to experience and create and enjoy” versus going to sleep and just not knowing what you’re going to dream, just kind of like, flipping the coin, right? “Oh, whatever happens, happens” And maybe you have a nightmare.
[0:16:24.8] But whatever it is, whether it’s a nightmare or whether it’s another dream, whether it’s a beautiful dream, it’s still out of your control, it’s like, “I’m just going to go to sleep and flip a coin, whatever happens, happens.”
Instead of, it seems so obvious to me anyway but anyways brothers, let’s get into it. Like everything is energy, everything is love, everything is one. Now, for this to play out in duality, for everything to be energy, everything to be loved, everything to be one, for us to have this energy field, right?
This neutrino field, it’s called the Higgs Field, right? In particle physics, they call it the Higgs Field and in the spiritual communities, they call it the Akashic records, right? It’s all the same thing, Akashic records, Higgs Field, Neutrino Field, field of oneness, it’s all the same.
It’s the same thing. It’s just we talk about it differently, we use different symbols, depending on what community we’re in. If you’re studying particle physics, if you’re into quantum physics, then yeah, it’s the Higgs Field, bro. It’s the Higgs Field, okay?
[0:17:15.6] It’s there, it’s real, it’s measurable, desirable, repeatable, and if you’re a spiritualist, if you’re down here in Tulum doing energy work in quantum healing and all this stuff, then it’s the Akashic records.
That’s what I’m talking about and for this to play out, for this everything-ness, for this energy, this love, this oneness to play out in duality, everything must be in a relationship to itself. Everything must be in relationship with itself, that’s the point of duality.
That’s the whole point of this illusion, that’s the whole point of the solution, that’s the whole point of this dream. So that the fire can experience the fire, so that fire can split into two flames and each flame can see itself, can feel itself, it can feel the heat of itself.
When the two flames are in one fire, it’s all one. There is no separation, there’s no border, there’s no boundary between one flame and another flame, it’s all flame. So the flame separate, they become two.
[0:18:06.7] They become the tip of a candle, a soul and then it experience itself. It has to do that but it’s still everything, it’s still fired, it’s still one. There’s no space in between it, that air is the illusion, it’s still heated air, it’s still fire.
No matter what we do or where we are, we are always in relationship with someone or something. That’s the duality, that’s the power of the duality, it’s the illusion. It’s the power of duality because it allows love to love itself.
This is the nature of separation, that our awareness is from the inside to the outside and that the inside is the self and the outside is the outer. That’s the illusion, right? That there’s two worlds, the inner and the outer, that the inside is me, whatever you want to call me.
[0:18:51.5] Again, we have so many different ideas of “me” whether that’s Kevin as this word, whether that’s an accumulation of knowledge, whether it’s an accumulation of skills. Tell me about yourself, “Oh, I love to cave dive.” That’s an accumulation of hobbies, that’s just a hobby, that’s just something I do. That’s not who I am.
It’s an action that my body takes, all of these things and that’s the illusion. This is the basic premise of the duality and it creates the low vibrations that are turbulent in our relationships because we think that there is another, because we think that we see the other. So relating from the position of me becomes a constant struggle of how this outer is affecting the inner, which is this person or that thing.
What I’m going to offer you guys here and again, I am not the first person to say this. I’m going to say in this podcast that I am not the first person to say this because there is many, many, many, many, many people that have said this, this is all the basis of oneness teaching, of I am presence, of Christ consciousness.
The way Rumi says it is, “I am you in love with yourself.” I am you in love with yourself. The way the Christ says it is, “Treat others the way you treat yourself.” It’s the same, it’s all saying the same thing, it’s all a lesson in oneness and what’s wild is most of the religions out there have this twist of it into duality.
[0:20:16.7] They have this twist of duality, which is okay because it allows us to play. It allows us to get out there and enjoy the playground of earth but unfortunately, many, many religions use duality as a scare tactic rather than as a tactic of joy, a tactic of joy and experience. They use it as a tactic of fear and control but I’m not going to get into that.
But all religions are saying the same thing, all spiritual masters, all spiritual guides, all alphas are saying the same thing, it’s oneness. I am you in love with yourself, treat others the way you treat yourself. I don’t love you, I love myself through you. Do you understand that difference? Do you understand how magnanimous that difference is?
Think about that, think about your human relationships. Yeah, we have relationships with money and we have relationships with animals and plants, things or stuff, but think about your human relationships, think about the people you love. How often do you say, “I love you” and why do you say that?
Maybe you do feel love. Maybe you feel the love and you are saying, “I love you” and you want to express that maybe because you want them to know that they’re loved. Maybe because maybe it’s something even more sinister, maybe it’s something manipulative, right? “I love you and therefore, do this or that for me” right?
[0:21:29.0] But when you say that, just the way that construct, the way that sentence is constructed with the symbols, which is why I began the whole podcast with the words and the symbols, “I love you.” The duality is in there, the duality is almost like there’s you and there’s me and there’s this love between us and that’s true in some way, right?
That’s why I say I love myself through you because that is true, there is I and there is you and there is love between us, but the I and the you if you take it too literal, then it becomes this separation, that there is this exchange, that there’s this movement, that there is something other than me that I am giving to, right?
There is something other than me, there is something other than self, there is something other than love or energy and even the word me, of course, there is something other than me. That’s the definition of me, me is defined by a barrier that separates me from the other. So even to say that and that’s why these words are so wildly confusing.
Maybe a little difficult to use and when we talk about these when I articulate these concepts. Imagine how you would approach your relationships, the relationships of people that you love, okay? Let’s just stick with that, let’s stick with the positive side of things, right? Let’s stick with your friends, family, right? Your wife, your girlfriend, your kids.
[0:22:50.0] Imagine if you, instead of saying, instead of thinking, instead of feeling, instead of being in this mind of separation saying, “I love you” you were thinking, “I love myself through you.” That’s your thought, that’s your belief, that’s your knowing, that’s in your bones, right? That’s in your essence.
You are the essence of your experience, of your perspective, coming from your energy because again, from the form, from the identity, and from the Kevin, I say, “I love you.” Kevin loves you. From the identity because there is the I, but if we shift that, if we shift that energy and we say it’s not the self, it’s not the form or it’s the self.
Like again, the self -form, it’s not the form, right? It’s not the ego, it’s not the beta condition. It’s the energy, it’s the true self, it’s the soul. I love myself through you because my soul is your soul, my energy is your energy. There is only one energy. Whatever I do to you, I do to myself. You are me and you’re not me, right?
The identity is not, so there can be a separation but that separation is only in the illusion and that illusion is there for a reason. That illusion is there for us to break down those barriers that prevent us from it. And what about the flip side? What about the flip side of it? What about, “I don’t hate you. I don’t hate you, I hate myself through you.”
[0:24:14.8] Ouch, think about that. Flip your mind to that, brother. Think about the people now that irritate you, that get on your nerves, that trigger you. Now, first of all, I know when we talk about triggering, you guys know how triggering works. Triggering is not about the other person.
When you’re triggered by another person, we offer that person gratitude for the trigger. Because we want to be triggered, the trigger is the key, the trigger is the awareness. But when we are in our beta condition we don’t know that. We’re just like, “Oh, this person” da-da-da, there’s the complaining and the criticism and the blame and all that, the projection.
But instead of saying, “I don’t like you” and I know hate is a strong word but instead of saying, “I hate you” right? That’s kind of what we’re thinking, what we’re feeling even if you are not using that word. It’s like, “Oh, that’s way too strong Kevin, it’s way too strong. I would never say I hate anybody.”
Okay, so let’s just toss that aside, but let’s imagine that that’s what you’re feeling anyway. We just label that vibration as hate. Instead of saying hate, “I hate you” imagine what would you do, how would you change your thinking? How would you change your feelings going to the universal truth?
[0:25:16.9] How would you change your thoughts and your feelings and even your actions? And your actions, brother, if you shifted that thought, “I hate you” that you are there and you’ve done something, you’ve done something to warrant this feeling that I have about you because you’re over there, it’s you, right?
You’ve done this, how would you change? If you thought instead of, “I hate you” you change it to, “I hate myself through you.” You have this person in front of you, this avatar, this mannequin, this mirror, and instead of thinking and projecting, “I hate you” instead of thinking this person has done something, this person is evil or this person is bad, this person is — they have within them this thing that’s not me, that’s worthy of not love, that’s worthy of hate.
If you flip that, if you switch that, if you think, “I’m hating myself. Oh, I’m hating myself that this person is just a mannequin.” It’s like an imaginary friend, it’s like taking an imaginary friend that’s supposed to keep you company and tell you all these good things about yourself and all these amazing things about who you are.
This imaginary friend that just loves you, it’s like a Ted, right? You guys remember Ted with Mark Wahlberg, right? I don’t know if you guys saw Ted, a hilarious movie, but you have Seth MacFarlane, it’s like having an imaginary friend and just hating on them, just constantly telling them horrible things about themselves.
[0:26:40.1] Like this imaginary friend like they’re just horrible, horrible and you are just doing it to yourself like, “I just hate myself. I’m hating myself to this person.” Again, it’s like a mannequin or an avatar, or a mirror. It’s a mirror, brother. It’s the same on both ends, it’s the same when you love someone.
When you love someone, you’re loving yourself through this person and when you are hating someone, you’re hating yourself through this person, you are damaging yourself. It’s so wild. You know, it’s wild to see people, human beings treat other people with hate, and equally wild to see them abdicate self-love in order to gain some kind of permission or acceptance or validation from a perceived other.
You don’t need anybody’s permission, you don’t need anybody’s validation. You don’t need anybody’s acceptance either. You know what you need? You need to accept yourself through yourself, you need to validate yourself through yourself. Love yourself through yourself and that’s what it is brother, because everything is you.
This is the meaning, this is the meaning of treating others as you treat yourself because it’s one and this is a teaching on oneness. Whatever you give to others, you give to yourself. Duality creates the illusion that when we give, we must give up something, right? That it transfers from me to you that I have it and then I give it and then I had it, that I longer have it.
[0:28:21.9] That’s the illusion of duality, that in order for us to give, we must give up. In order for us to give, we must sacrifice what it is that we’re giving. This is the nature of duality and the cause of human suffering and brothers, we don’t actually suffer, right? This is an academy teaching, this is a freebie for you guys, right?
This is what we teach the academy that even though I talk about suffering on the podcast, we don’t actually suffer. We just think we’re suffering because we’re in a dream. We just think we’re suffering, right? When you’re having a nightmare in your bed, yeah, you’re suffering in your nightmare but you’re not actually suffering.
You’re just in the dream, you’re just sleeping, you are actually fine, there is nothing happening to you, you’re completely safe, right? And it’s the same here in this world, we don’t actually suffer, we just think we’re suffering but it still appears like we’re suffering because you don’t know that you’re in a dream, and that’s what I mean when I say this is what you’ll get in the academy.
So we really aren’t suffering and yet, we are and this is due to this premise. It’s due to this premise of duality that I can’t have and give at the same time. That’s the premise of duality, that what’s mine is mine, and what’s yours is yours. The soul wants to give everything to everything because it knows its own nature, which is love and oneness.
[0:29:33.8] The soul knows everything is one, everything is love. So the soul wants to give, the soul wants to give everything to everything. The ego wants to have, you see? The ego wants to have because it’s afraid of the future. It’s afraid of death, it’s afraid of loss. So when you align giving with having, when you bridge that gap, when you mend that separation, you mend the wound caused by duality and you heal yourself from insanity.
This is the same thing as aligning being with having and it’s the root of abundance. Brother, you never lose anything and you never give up anything. You never sacrifice when you give. In fact, here is another Rumi quote for you. Rumi said, “Don’t grieve, everything you lose comes around in another form” and I love that.
He’s not saying repress your emotion. Understand that brothers, Rumi is not saying like repress your grief, repress your emotion. Your parents die, your dog dies, your wife dies, like don’t just grieve. It’s not what he’s saying. What he’s saying is don’t fear loss because you can’t lose. There is nothing you can ever lose.
Everything you think you lose, everything that comes from the illusion of loss is always with you. It just comes around again, manifested in something new, something fresh, a new form, a new amalgamation of molecules and cells. The mirror of relationships is simple and yet, humans make it so hard.
[0:30:52.6] The mirror and the nature of relationship is “I am that I am” and you are that. You are everything and while this may seem like some esoteric mumbo-jumbo, right? You guys have probably heard that I am, right? I am that I am and the shortened version of that is I am but that’s all you really need to say.
When somebody says, “Hey, who are you?” yeah, you can tell them the story of the beta condition. You can tell them the name and the occupation and the education and all the hobbies and dreams and hopes and goals and family and friends. You could tell them all the illusion or you can just say I am, because that’s the truth.
I know it sounds like mumbo-jumbo or a sermon, right? A sermon from a church or temple or mosque or synagogue or whatever but the truth is, is that when you apply this to all your relationships your world will change. When you shed the body armor of illusion, you will move more effectively and more efficiently through life as a being of light, a being of energy because you will stop bumping into everything and calling it a problem, right?
If you remember the analogy of being blind, right? Don’t get me wrong, being able to see do you still stub your toe? I mean, sure, I do. I still bump into stuff from time to time but I don’t think it’s normal. I am not blind bumping into everything thinking it’s just normal to go around hurting myself by bumping into things.
[0:32:09.2] I still trip up. I still bump into things from time to time but so what? I bump into it, I experience the energy, I experience the feeling. Usually, it’s some kind of pain, some kind of physical pain, I experience it, and then I move on. I just move on, it’s there, it’s done, it’s gone, it’s in the past.
We still bump into things but we don’t try to control and say, “Oh, I have to move this table. I have to move this chair. I have to move these things, I have to control my external.” It’s like, “Oh man, I bumped into it. Okay, boom, I’m bumped.” It’s like a speed bump in the road. Let me ask you this brothers, when you bite your tongue when you’re eating food or maybe you’re just talking and you bite your tongue, do you call your tongue a problem?
Do you say, “Oh my gosh, my tongue is such a problem” or your teeth, do you call your teeth a problem? You bite your tongue, do you call your teeth a problem? Do you say, “Oh, my teeth is such a problem, I need to take all these teeth out.” So if I bite my tongue, I’d just be gumming it, right? It won’t hurt. I just need to take my teeth out.”
“My teeth are my enemy, my teeth are my problem.” Of course, you don’t do that. You experience the moment and you move on with your life. It’s like, “Oh man, that hurt. Oh, maybe I check, I’m bleeding a little bit on my tongue” and then I move on but you don’t turn yourself against yourself.
[0:33:18.7] You don’t make your tongue and your teeth enemies of each other but we do that with our human relationships. When we think somebody has harmed us or hurt us or wronged us in some way, we make them an enemy. All of a sudden, they become our enemy. “It’s their fault, they’re bad, they’re wrong, they’re rude, they’re up to no good.”
But brothers, it’s no different. They’re the teeth, you’re the tongue. If another person is a tooth and you’re the tongue, you’re going to get bit sometimes. It just happens, experience it and move on. So what? The tongue does no good in making the teeth an enemy because they’re of the same body.
Could you imagine that? Could you imagine if your tongue made an enemy of your teeth? Could you imagine if your right hand made an enemy of your left hand? There’d be no way that the body could function as a harmonic organism and you and other people are of the same body. That’s what I’m saying, the body of oneness.
The body of pure energy, light, love, source, wisdom, God, or whatever symbol you want to call it, whatever sound you want to hear me say, vibrate out of my vocal cords. It doesn’t matter, it’s all the same. It’s oneness, see others as you see yourself. When you see another person, see yourself. Look at that person and see your face, see your humanness.
[0:34:35.5] See all of yourself in there and from that state, have compassion, love, generosity. When you relate to other people, how are you relating it with yourself? Are you relating to yourself with pain? Are you relating to yourself with judgment? Are you to yourself with fear? Are you relating to yourself with blame and criticism?
If you choose to relate to them with love and experience then you’ll experience that and then you may not experience that, however, you will experience that through them, and no human being, brother, no human being including yourself has ever taken any action on worthy of forgiveness. You could never do anything that is not worthy of forgiveness.
Relate to others in this way, in the way that you would relate to yourself. Don’t wait for them to make the first move. Don’t wait for other people to respect you first. That is the most erroneous thing I’ve ever heard, “I don’t give respect unless respect is given first.” Why? What sense does that make? That makes absolutely no sense.
You are just waiting around for other people to decide how you want to treat them by the way they treat you. What? No, take back your power, take back responsibility. Don’t wait for them to make the first move, respect them first, love them first, accept them first, praise them first because you are the alpha, and when you are triggered, when your body is experiencing its cellular trauma, just go within.
[0:36:05.8] Go within and release it. Release it into the embracing oneness with compassion and acceptance because it’s okay, it’s just energy because it is not our purpose to seek love. It is our purpose to be love, we are love. We don’t have to seek it, we are it. We only have to seek to remove the barriers that prevent us from knowing this, from remembering this.
We only have to simply seek to remember and wake up from this mindless activity, from this mindless doing and business, from all of this projection and blame that we have in our relationships. Brothers, love is always a choice. Everything is a mirror, choose to love yourself. Until next week, elevate your alpha.
[END OF INTERVIEW]
[0:36:55.2] ANNOUNCER: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Alpha Male Coach Podcast. If you enjoyed what you’ve heard and want even more, sign up for Unleash your Alpha: Your Guide to Shifting to the Alpha Mindset, at the alphamalecoach.com/unleash.
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