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Brothers, I spend a lot of time speaking about the mindset shifts that I teach, but today it’s time to hear testimony from an actual student of mine. In this episode of the show, we invite Bob Lincoln to talk about how he found out about the Spartan Academy and the shifts that have occurred in his life since enrolling. Bob is in fact a two-time student of mine because he firstly completed the Academy and then moved onto the Coach Certification Course, which he is currently enrolled in.
We hear from Bob about the beginning of his inner search which began as long as 15 years ago, the struggles he was having in his life then, and how the stories he was telling himself were holding him back from unleashing his Alpha. Bob talks about how he was unsatisfied with the results of his search, causing him to go down a rabbit hole that ended up in him finding the Alpha Male Coach Podcast.
Bob explains that the content he heard on this show was like nothing he had encountered before, and that a failed relationship caused him to finally take a leap of faith and enroll in the Academy. We ask Bob what changes he underwent after experiencing his training, what advice he would give a seeker of the truth who has misgivings about signing up for this program, and the main differences he has uncovered between the Spartan Academy and the Coach Certification Course.
In our conversation, Bob talks about how his training helped him overcome anxiety, feel more confident to be his authentic self, and realize that his emotions were his own and could not be influenced by outside circumstances. We speak about the ripple effects of these changes on his life more broadly, changes in the way he relates to his kids, employees, and even the woman that triggered this whole journey. Tune in for a real story about how the Spartan Academy changed Bob’s life.
Want to know more about what I do and how I can help you? Sign up for a free 45-minute session with me, and I’ll show you how this works!
What You’ll Learn from This Episode:
- The struggles Bob was having and how he found the Alpha Male Coach Podcast
- What triggered Bob to enroll in the Spartan Academy and the Certification Course.
- The mindset shifts Bob experienced while undergoing his training.
- Realizing that we are in charge of our emotions thus other people cannot hurt them.
- Why people who pursue self-development will benefit from Kevin’s courses.
- What Bob thought he would get out of the program versus what he actually did.
- Bob’s feelings of not needing to rely on others for a sense of wholeness anymore.
- How Bob feels more authentic and less reliant on external factors to define him.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
- Enroll for the Elevated Alpha Society Spartan Academy here.
- Sign up for Unleash Your Alpha, your guide to shifting to the Alpha mindset.
[00:00:09] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast, the only podcast that teaches men the cognitive mastery and alpha mindset that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence.
Here’s your host, certified life coach and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud.
[EPISODE]
[00:00:31] KA: What’s up my brothers? Welcome back to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. I am your host, Kevin Aillaud. Over the next few weeks, I am living, literally living in the Amazon rainforest, brothers. I’m living in the jungle right next to the Amazon River. I decided to set up a series of interviews with a small selection of Academy and certification course students, so they could tell you a little bit about their experiences. I’ll be back in February and until then, remember to pick up a free copy of my book The Universal Truth and you can do that at thealphamalecoach.com/freebook. Now enjoy meeting these, brothers and elevate your alpha.
[INTERVIEW]
[00:01:18] KA: What’s up, brothers. I am here with a double student actually, Bob Lincoln who is a student in the academy and then moved on to the coach certification course, and is now training to be a coach, training to learn and apply the methodology that he learned as a student, so that he can begin to teach and take these methodologies, takes these concepts, take these teachings on to help others who are seeking their own personal growth. Welcome, Bob. Please introduce yourself. Tell us a little bit about your story.
[00:01:52] BL: Hey, guys. Thanks for having me. A little bit about my story is I started to, as far as getting – you want to know how I got into the course or how far back you want me to go, Kevin?
[00:02:04] KA: Well, just tell us a little bit about yourself, brother. Just break the ice. Let the audience know a little bit about who you are. Yeah.
[00:02:10] BL: I’m a dad. I got three kids, 26, 20 and 16. Lived in Arizona my entire life. I like going down to the beach down in Mexico or California and enjoying that down there. I own a Air-conditioning Company out here in Arizona. I’ve had that for about 20 years. Yeah, pretty much it.
[00:02:32] KA: Yeah. Air-conditioning in Arizona. Sounds like you fell into the right business, right?
[00:02:37] BL: Yeah. So love-hate. The busiest time of the year, it’s miserable here. It’s hot. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s – we know, no matter how bad the economy is, people are going to need air-conditioning at some point or another.
[00:02:49] KA: I love it. I love it, brother. Yeah. How did you come to seek self-knowledge? What was driving you into personal development? Maybe before you enroll in the academy? I mean, when did you start this journey?
[00:03:02] BL: It really started about 15 years ago. I was going through life. I just seemed like everybody I asked what I was going through. I was going through some stuff with my kids and with my ex and stuff like that. It seemed everybody asked, didn’t really have an answer. They just told me what I knew they were going to say, but they never really, it never really helped resolve what – I just felt, I couldn’t find any answers for anything. I started to seek out, was never really into religion ended up getting into religion a little bit back then. It had satisfied my need back then. Then it just kept growing after that.
[00:03:44] KA: Okay, brother. Yeah. What was happening at that time? Tell us, did you remember when you were at your lowest point and what the situation or maybe what was happening for you cognitively? I know, 15 years ago is a long time to you got to dig deep, right? Do you remember any time in your life that was that lowest point and what was happening cognitively? What were the stories you were telling yourself?
[00:04:07] BL: Yeah. I mean, I remember it was yesterday to be honest with you, because it was a very, very stressful time in my life. It was, I just felt completely lost. I was going battle in a court with my ex, just super frustrated why I could not figure out why things were not working out in my life. I was just struggling really bad. I actually was grinding my teeth so bad that I cracked my teeth at night when I was sleeping, because I didn’t realize that I was even stressing so bad.
My jaw was hurting all the time, because I was grinding my teeth when I was awake. That’s why I was looking for answers. Wondering why this kept happening, because I see other people and they’re going through life and they don’t seem to be as stressed. I know people went through harder stuff than, what I was going through, but they just didn’t seem like, from what I could tell anyways, that they just didn’t seem at a stress. They didn’t seem like they’re going through the same thing that I was going through.
I knew that there was some other answer out there, and I just wasn’t getting it with my social circle that I was involved with. My thoughts were hopeless. I just saw, it was it, that was it. I wasn’t going to be able to go on. I just didn’t know what to do. I had completely lost in my direction.
[00:05:17] KA: Yeah. I hear that, brother. So this was 15 years ago, yeah?
[00:05:22] BL: Yeah.
[00:05:22] KA: So more recently. How did you find the – what led you to the academy? Let me put it that way. Where were you at when you came on board here?
[00:05:30] BL: About two and a half, three years ago. I started listening to podcasts. A friend of mine was pretty successful. I was stuck in business, I just didn’t really again, I was another one of those, one of the points in my life where I just didn’t feel I was going any direction. I reached out to one of my buddy. He’s pretty successful in business. He sent me a podcast and a book to get. At that time, I wasn’t even ready to absorb the information, because about three months later, I went to reach out to him again and realize that when he messaged me that stuff, I never even, I never opened the podcast. I’d never even listened to a podcast before. I’m like, this is too, out of my comfort zone. There’s nothing there. I’m not going to do anything.
When I went back a couple months later to ask him again, I realized that I never utilize the resources that he gave me. I started listening to the one of the podcasts. I just realized how much information I was getting out of it. Then that started listening to a couple more podcasts. Then I listened to a podcast that you were on. I was like, I don’t know what this guy’s talking about, but it feels amazing. It feels right. I’m like, I had to listen to the first podcast that I heard of yours, like two or three times before it even started to sink in.
I’ve been listening to, I don’t know, a thousand hours or so of podcasting before I got into your podcast. I’ve never listened to another one more than once, but when you spoke, there was something that really connected with me, there’s something that really resonated. I was like, I don’t know what this guy’s saying, but he sounds super smart. I’m getting something out of this. I didn’t understand at that time that it was the truth. It was what I was hearing was the truth, even though I didn’t fully understand it.
[00:07:15] KA: That’s this podcast, The Alpha Male Coach.
[00:07:16] BL: That’s The Alpha Male Coach. Yep. Yeah.
[00:07:18] KA: Okay, amazing. Yeah, brother. Awesome, awesome. I guess, I want to ask you, how long did you listen before enrolling in the academy? What was your threshold? Then when you did enroll, what was the driving force? What made you decide this is it, I’m going to start my own self-discovery journey, my self-knowledge journey?
[00:07:38] BL: Well, I don’t remember exactly when it was. I want to say it was probably about a year ago. It’s in November of 20, because I remember listening to your podcasts, and you were saying, “Hey, we’re offering a discount for the end of the year, to get you started on these impossible goals.” I’m like, I don’t know what this guy’s talking about impossible goals, but I was getting excited to do it. Then I believe it was April, March, somewhere in there, that something else had happened in my life where I got stuck again.
I’m like, if I’ve gotten so much information out of this guy in the last three or four months for free on his podcast, I just couldn’t wait to take it to the next level and have personal connection and for you to be able to dig deeply into my life, so you could peel back the layers, you one on one and actually see what’s going on and help me unpack it at a much faster rate. I’m sure eventually I would have heard all this stuff and I wouldn’t have needed to get into the course, but it would have taken me forever. I don’t want to wait years to get it done. I’d rather – that’s the thing that I’ve learned too, if you don’t have that person around you, those people around you that may speak the things that you need to hear, pam, you got to pay to play basically. If you want to learn this stuff and you’re able to pay somebody to bring you to that next level, because you don’t have those set people around you. It’s worth every dollar of it.
[00:09:06] KA: Yeah, brother. Now I don’t want to jump too far ahead. I mean, I love that. I love what you’re saying. I don’t want to jump too far ahead. In fact, I’d to go back just a little bit, because you said you’re at another point in your life where you’re feeling stuck. You said it was April, May. What was going on there? What was the catalyst? What was the circumstance?
[00:09:23] BL: Well, I mean, if we want to get personal there was a girl that I really, really liked. I was completely attracted to her and every point I could think of she was a nine or a 10. Again, I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know how to dress her. I didn’t know what to do with her. She left my life at that point and I was like, all right, I need to understand my thinking, that if this girl comes back or another high level, very classy woman comes into my life.
I want to know what to say. I want to know that my thoughts are aligned correctly that I am my authentic self. So that way when that girl shows up or that person shows up in my life, she’s going to see who I truly am, not who I am through what I understand now as my condition. So that’s what it was. That triggered it. I was like, “That’s it. I’m signing up. I’m doing it. I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to go through that again.”
[00:10:19] KA: Yeah. I do love it. I love that you get personal, brother. Because again, the vulnerability is so genuine, like we can hear it, I mean, I can hear it. I know everybody’s listening can hear it, it is, it’s a relationship. Many big people come to the Academy for different reasons. Relationships, maybe it’s business, maybe it’s wealth, finances, but yeah, brother. Definitely, we could hear that. I love that brother. I’m going to ask you, I am going to jump forward a little bit, just a little bit and ask you about the certification course.
Now, a lot of the audience probably doesn’t know that there’s a certification course where you can learn the methodology that I use, in guiding and coaching and teaching, but there is. There’s a certification course we’re on coaching coaches, and what was it that made you decide to enroll in that? Why make the move from the Academy, where you are already involved in getting amazing results? What made you decide to take the next step? What was happening there for you?
[00:11:12] BL: I think that through this process that I’ve been learning, I’m becoming more aware that when something feels like, it’s right, I got to figure out how to do it. If I stop and think about, because there was a moment there, I’m like, “Do I really want to do this? I really want to sign up for this. A year-long commitment, this is huge.” Meeting weekly, and all this stuff, it just seemed like there were moments when I’m like, “This could be too much. It’s going to be too much of my life.” Then I was like, that’s just me thinking that I’m going to try to play it small and keep myself small.
When the opportunity came up and again, I was like, “If I’m learning what I’m learning with this one on one stuff with Kevin that I can take that even to the next level.” Basically, I was like, “If I can know all the stuff that you know, in a year or at least the fundamentals of it, the basics of it.” I mean, I run a business that I lead people, I have kids that I lead. I have all these people around me that look up to me for guidance. If I can at least help my kids with this stuff, it’s going to change our family tree. It’s going to change the direction, the course of our life. For me to dedicate a year to do that, as was a no brainer.
[00:12:30] KA: Wow. Well brother, that’s amazing to hear you say and I actually I want you to, if you can go deeper, tell us a little bit more about what it is that you learn. Tell us a little bit more about your journey, both as a student in the academy, if you want to start there and as a student in the certification course and going through coach development training. Tell us what it is? How you’ve grown? You can even use success stories, if you have any specific examples. Just give us an idea on your personal evolution and emancipation of your inner truth.
[00:13:03] BL: I don’t remember exactly which one of the success stories happened first, but I started to notice after they happen. I went and I hardly fly anywhere, so I went and flew. Usually when I fly there, I got somebody with me or the whole time I’m going to fly. I’m a nervous wreck. I go through it and I make it through it every time, but usually I’ll have a drink when I’m on the plane or something to study my nerves a little better in the airport. I realized when I flew recently that I forgot I even had that anxiety about that stuff. I just drove the airport, flew by myself took a work trip by myself, came back. It seemed everything just went smooth. It went so smooth, like I said, I forgot I used to even have anxiety about that stuff. Yeah. That’s just a really small example.
Probably the one of the biggest examples as a testimonial was, since I was in my 20s, whenever I would drink, I would always have this terrible anxiety the next day. I always thought it was the alcohol that would give me the anxiety and I would just have this really bad, really weird. I [inaudible 00:14:12] to explain this to Kevin, and sometimes I’d feel like a plane was going to drop out of the sky and crash in my house. I remember walking down Home Depot and thinking something’s going to fall off the shelves and it was just irrational anxiety.
Well, now I’m realizing it’s more about my thoughts. It’s about who I was being when I was drinking compared to who I thought I needed to be during when I’m not drinking, that since doing a lot of those deconditioning and peeling from these layers off and finding out who I am truly is interesting, because when I drink I’m more outgoing and I’m more friendly and I’m meeting people. Now I do that all the time. I’m just happier all the time and I’m more myself. I’d recently went on a guy’s trip down to Mexico, and which is just drinking and driving Jeeps on the beach and doing fun stuff. I was myself the whole time. I was happy the whole time I was enjoying it. The next day I’d wake up and I didn’t have any anxiety.
I was actually, jumped right out of bed, no stress, no like, “Oh, my goodness. What did I do yesterday?” How did I represent myself? Did I misrepresent myself? Was I too outgoing? Was I too – all that conditioning stuff that I used to tell myself is to don’t go talk to strangers, don’t be vulnerable, don’t be open. All those conditioning thoughts that I used to have in my head and now I’m built and designed to be out and to be open and to talk to people and people want to hear my story, people want me to talk to them, and get to know them. That’s been a huge, huge change for me.
[00:15:53] KA: Yeah. I love both of those. I mean, I know that there’s multiple success stories of during the course of you being in the academy, and in the certification course. There’s been so many success stories. I love hearing and every time you tell them, but even with these two examples, brother, with the example about flying, letting go of the thoughts, it’s the anxiety, whether for you is flying, right? I’m having anxiety around being on a plane, what’s going to happen?
For a lot of men, it’s maybe something else. Maybe it’s around starting their business, maybe it’s around talking to this woman, maybe it’s around what it would be like to be a dad or get married or whatever. It could be anything, but whatever it is, whatever the anxiety is, the cause is never the circumstance. The cause is never the plane ride, it’s never the woman or it’s never the business. It’s always the way you’re thinking.
So the more you learn to detach from that, the more smooth the entire situation was, because number one, there wasn’t the thought that was creating the anxiety, but number two, there isn’t the result that’s creating confirmation bias to perpetuate that thought. I love the first example and then the second example, too. I mean, again, Bob. Wonderful examples, because in the second example, you’re basically telling us, I stopped caring about what other people think. I started being myself. I’m free to be who I am. I’m free to be myself. I’m free to express. Free to be out there. I’m not worried. I don’t have anxiety. What did I do? What did I say? What are they going to people think about me?
I’m Bob, I’m myself, I’m doing it, I’m loving it, I’m living it. There’s no more worry. There’s no more of that, what are people thinking about me, because what people think about you is what they think about you. It’s really just what they think about them, right? I mean, it makes no difference. It’s about you. It’s about the way you think about you and you’ve let that go. I love it, brother. Thank you so much for both of those examples.
I guess, having just said that. My next question or where I want to lead you next is, what’s the most valuable? If you had to pick just one, I know that there’s a lot, especially being in the coach certification course. I know that there’s a lot of teachings, a lot of lessons, a lot of ways to guide others. If you had to pick just one, what is the most valuable concepts or lesson, you can say lesson or concept that you’ve learned in either the academy or in certification course?
[00:18:09] BL: That’s going to be challenging to pick one. The first thing that came to mind, I mean, I think the initial one that probably was pretty groundbreaking for me was to realize that, other people cannot hurt my emotions. I cannot hurt other people’s emotions. I didn’t realize those were untouchable. I was so afraid to have my emotions hurt. If I was happy, I would try to keep everybody else around me happy, that way I didn’t feel sadness, or I didn’t feel pain or anything else. I was basically thinking that circumstances control my emotions.
It’s like you’re walking on eggshells all the time, because you want to try to be in a happy state or in a comfortable relaxed state and you don’t realize, because you think that at any moment somebody is going to get upset, and then that’s going to change your state. That to me, for me to realize that was huge.
[00:19:04] KA: Yeah. I love that, brother. That’s definitely in the initial, those are fundamentals. Brothers, just so you know, you guys listening to the podcasts, just so you guys know. What Bob is talking about is really emotional ownership. He’s talking about the 1.0 Fundamentals that come with cognitive mastery. It’s that you are creating the way you feel based on the way you think. It’s not what other people are doing or saying.
Other people can do and say whatever they want, all of that is neutral and that’s what Bob is saying is that when he realized that his feelings come from the way he thinks not from the way people act, or what people say, that is very – that mean again, that’s very liberating. It’s not uncommon to hear that actually brother, Bob, brother Bob. It’s not uncommon to hear that as a valuable concept, as a valuable lesson, because it’s a lie. It’s a lie that is perpetuated in our society that we need to control the way other people feel.
The whole idea around, watch what you say, be careful what you do, what you say is going to hurt this person’s feelings, the use of our language, use of our words. Now again, I’m not saying go out and hurt people’s feelings. That’s not what we do. We only hurt people’s feelings in the action line. We talk about the universal truth, we only act in hurtful ways, when we are hurting inside, when we’re feeling insecure, when we’re feeling angry, or when we’re feeling hateful. That’s when we put that hate out into the world through our actions.
When we’re acting as ourselves and we’re just being who we are. There is no way that we can harm another human being. Other human beings are completely in charge of the way they feel. I love that you brought that up, as a valuable concept that’s changed your life. I have a couple more questions. I know we’re getting personal, we’re getting deeper. We’re also getting into the time here. We’re moving into some late minutes of the podcast. I do have some other questions, because I want to know and I think our audience wants to know, what is your favorite movie brother? Why?
[00:21:06] BL: Well, I’m definitely growing to like, what’s it called, what’s that movie, you’re always reference?
[00:21:13] KA: I reference a lot of movies. –
[00:21:15] BL: No Morpheus. Matrix, that’s what it is. Yeah. I mean, I’m certain, because I’m certain, like connect to that movie a little more often, but my actual favorite movie is Wedding Crashers. It’s dumb reason, because at one point, I was going through a transition in my life, and I was staying with my RV out of the lake for three months, and that was one of the only DVDs that I had to watch. I watched that movie, like I don’t know, a 100 times or something like that. It’s just a funny movie. It’s a good, lighthearted movie, but that’s the only real reason. Otherwise, I’m not a big movie guy.
[00:21:46] KA: Not a big movie guy. Okay. Yeah. No, I asked that question, because I think we learned so much. We learned so much from movies now. Movies are of course circumstances, but we can definitely take a lot from them. I got to tell you, brother, that duo, that Owen Wilson and oh, man, what’s his name? The tall, Mr. Tall, Mr. Skinny, what’s his name? Well, I’m drawing a blank. I’m drawing a blank on myself, but that duo, they do so well together, because there’s the internship, there’s wedding crashers. I think there’s another one they do together. I hear you, because Wedding Crashers is amazing, where they seem to love themselves and love each other so much.
It’s just a great buddy picture and it’s a great picture – it’s a great movie to watch for people that like just watching them love themselves. They’re just having fun, enjoying life, loving life, enjoying it. When we watch that, at least when I watched that, it sounds when you do too. When I see that movie, it’s like yeah, life is fun. It reminds you, life is fun, have fun, enjoy yourself. I love that, brother. Let’s get back to the interview a little bit.
Let me ask you this, what would you tell other people about enrolling in the academy, and for that matter about enrolling in the certification course, I know, these are two completely different programs, you just happen to be in a very unique position, where you are in both of these have had experience, have had time, have had education in both of these curriculums. What would you tell others about enrolling in the academy first and then why?
[00:23:15] BL: Well, I mean, not just big picture. To me, it’s if you’re suffering or have anxiety in any way, shape, or form in your life and you’re ready to do something different. To me, this is a clear path to get to clean all that stuff out. It doesn’t happen overnight, you got to put the work in, you got to face some of those feelings that you’re trying to avoid that you don’t even realize you’re trying to avoid, until you dig in there and unpack it.
If you want to turbocharge that, you can get in a certification course, because that has helped me really dig into this. I mean, I would have never gotten comfortable to do this interview before. I would have told myself all kinds of stories about why I shouldn’t be doing it and make up all kinds of reasons maybe even figured out a way to make myself sick or something, just to avoid having to face this.
Now I feel absolutely honored. I’m totally comfortable to be on here talking and it feels more real. I feel like I can be vulnerable. I would feel comfortable talking to anybody about any part of my life. I’m okay with it, because I don’t really care what anybody else thinks. I know that I know who I am. I’m completely comfortable with it.
[00:24:29] KA: Yeah, brother. That’s an amazing answer. In fact, it brings up another question that I have, haven’t having hearing you answer that, which is because you’re in this unique position of having spent time in both the academy on the certification course. How would you describe the difference between the two programs? We call them programs one being school, one being – they’re both schools, they’re both educational programs. How would you describe the difference between the two?
[00:24:57] BL: I would say, it’s probably the difference between watching somebody else exercise and actually exercising. The academy, you learn as you go, you’re dabbling in it, here and there. You get a lot of great information, you get amazing stuff. You’ll probably get fit along the way. But in the coaching course, you’re lifting weights, and you got the best coach there with you at helping you with your form, pushing you along the way, you got a great group of guys that I mean, this I feel I’m in some an elite group with these guys that are just so loving, they’re so caring, they’re just everybody is supportive and we push each other. We don’t hold any punches. We do it from a loving way to where the support feels good. You know that they’re there just to help you grow, because everybody’s on that same path doing our own thing or doing the same thing.
[00:25:57] KA: Yeah. Amazing, brother. I love analogies. I love the analogy that you use about fitness, right? Because having fitness at background. By the way, Vince Vaughn. Vince Vaughn, the guy’s name and I apologize, Vince. Hey, Vince, if you’re listening to this podcast, I apologize. You’re a great actor. I love your stuff. I just totally blanked on your name for a moment there.
Okay, brother. again, love the answer. I love the way you describe both the Academy and the certification course, because truly, that is a one of the major differences is that in the academy, you certainly have access to coaching and coaches. You have access to whether it’s group coaching, one-on-one coaching. A lot of guidance in the academy had that being said, as Bob said, there is a lot of you, there’s a lot of you doing the work. You got to do the work. There’s work that you can choose to do. There’s work that you can choose not to do. So with the academy, it’s really like Bob said, “You get out of it, what you put into it.” With the certification course, you’re on it, like it’s happening, it’s happening every week, sometimes twice a week, I see you guys.
There is a lot more of that, hands-on, personal development, personal movement, but I love the way you describe those. If someone was seeking self-knowledge, brother, let’s say someone’s seeking self-knowledge. Let’s say they’re seeking healing. Let’s say they’re seeking their alpha state and they’ve been listening to podcasts for a while. They’re seekers, I mean, they listen to podcasts diligently. Maybe they just binge list. They got all 190 episodes in three months, or whatever, and they’re just uncertain. They’re just uncertain about enrolling in the academy, or the certification course.
Now I would, based on what Bob has told you guys, I would offer that you begin in the academy, because it is a big jump into the certification course, but this is your question, brother, your question, Bob. If someone is seeking self-knowledge or seeking healing, they’re seeking their alpha state, and they’re uncertain about enrolling in the academy, or the certification course. What would you say to them? What would be your words?
[00:27:57] BL: Well, I would say that they would have to decide on whether they want to continue to slowly evolve in just listening to podcasts and dabbling around them or if they really want to get this stuff fixed in their life, and that’s going on inside their head. It’s worth every dollar and it’s a non-commitment, you can go in for a month and if you don’t like it, you can stop. But I would be really surprised, if you’re to that point and you’re even considering it. From what I know now the fact that you’re considering it is your true alpha state speaking to you, telling you, this is what you want. I recommend to lean into it, try it out. Come in, you get access to all of us. You can talk to us, questions on anything. We’re all available, especially as coaches. You can ask us any questions and we’ll talk to you personally have personal zoom calls or whatever it is you want. Anytime we’re available that the timing works out. I mean, to me, you got nothing to lose.
[00:28:56] KA: Yeah. Yeah, I love that answer, brother. Just so you guys know, you brothers that are listening, what Bob’s talking about is one of the parts, one of the facets of the Academy is a Slack group is a Slack channel. On there, all the students can come in, they can talk, they can share ideas, they can post anything, really, I mean, we’ve got channels for fitness, we’ve got channels for investments, we’ve got channels for networking, and rocking your business, sharing your business. We got channels for relationships and models of alignment. But what I really love about the slack group is exactly what Bob said. That is that, it’s a community.
I mean, these guys, I’m going to tell you some, these guys with no encouragement, like this is nothing that I put out there. But these guys have taken upon themselves to set up their own zoom calls, to set up their own communities, just talk to each other about what’s going on with them and the guys in a couch certification course are leading that charge. They’re doing that on their own. There is no limit. There’s no limit to the support. There’s no limit to the guidance. There’s no limit to the community that you will find in the academy and if you choose to go further than in the certification course as well.
Okay, brother, one more question for you. I know we’re getting on, so here we go. This question is actually a question for you to come up with on your own, which is, what’s one question you wish I had asked but didn’t? How would you answer it?
[00:30:21] BL: Yeah. That’s going to take me a second to think about. I guess the question that I wish you would have asked was, am I getting out of this? What I thought I was going to get out of this? Am I getting more? Am I getting less? Is it worth it? I would say that it’s hard to describe, because when you think you’re going to get out of something, and then when you start to get into and get involved with it, and you start to realize that there is so much more there that you didn’t even see, it’s hard to describe it. I thought, I was going to make it to the top of one mountain.
I’m sure you guys have heard these analogies before. You get to the top of that when you realize there’s a whole another mountain to climb. I don’t want to say climbing mountain, like it’s a bad thing. This is me loving to climb mountains. This is me loving to dig in and learn myself and understand myself more. I thought I was going to get some sense of peace, a little bit of better understanding, helped me be a better father, a better friend a better communicator in my business. It is just taken me to a level that I couldn’t even describe. We’re only a quarter of the way through the course so far.
As I can see, my relationships have grown tremendously. I see my kids are at more peace, because I can address the things that go through as my youngest son as a teenager, and the things that he deals with on a daily basis. Now his friends are starting to come around and asking me questions. I see, I hear him coaching his friends and helping them through the day to day struggles just being a teenager. It’s just the beginning. I mean, it’s amazing. It’s just amazing.
[00:32:11] KA: Yeah. I love that, brother. I love that question. I love your answer, because this is the truth, because it’s your truth. It’s not a truth. It’s not a truth. It’s your truth, your truth has just been coming from you, coming out of you. That’s what it is. That’s an amazing question. It’s like truth is like a lion. You don’t need to defend the truth. You just set the truth free and it defends itself, right? That’s the move. The more you set your truth free. It is out there. It’s out there. It’s permeating into your kids, in your relationships, into their relationships, kids relationships. I mean, I love hearing that. I absolutely love hearing it.
I do have another quick question, because you mentioned relationships there at the end. Very briefly, you said, well, if we’re going to get personal, you said I came into the academy, because there was this woman I was with and then it didn’t end up working out. Just curiosity, I’m wondering what’s going on? How is that relationship? Is that a relationship that’s still in your life? Have you moved on from that relationship? What’s happening there, brother?
[00:33:15] BL: Well, we took about six months break and we started to reconnect, because our sons are our best friends. It’s passing and then I invited her in one day I haven’t seen her in a while and we just started talking and I’m learning and I understand so much more about how humans interact and how, who I am and seeing who I am through this relationship with this person. Now we’re getting along a lot better, I mean, it’s a great dynamic. There’s no rush on anything. It’s going to feel that complete peace and I can almost tell when, because there’s times that I still go back into my beta conditioning, just pops in and out and I can tell there’s little triggers, but it’s just more opportunities for me to work on things.
I’m no longer attached to whether I’m going to be with her not or whatever it is. For me, this is just, it’s my journey and if she comes along with that’s great. I’m no longer attached to, I got to have her in my life. I need to have her to feel complete or whatever that is. I’m whole. I am complete with myself and I’m okay whether she’s there or not there. I think she feels that and she receives it and we get along great, because of it.
[00:34:35] KA: Yeah, brother. I’m so glad I asked that question there, and at the end complete the interview, because that is the bulk of it. That’s the core, what you said right there at the end is that I am whole. I am complete. That is self-knowledge. So many men, so many humans, but this being The Alpha Male Coach Podcast, so many men are going through life thinking that, “There’s something wrong with me. I’m not good enough. I need to be more.” Either there’s something that’s happened in their life that’s created this belief system unconsciously, or there’s the perpetual comparison to their friends, their families, their, maybe it’s just social media, the comparison of their time here.
All of that, is just confirmation biases, it’s all confirmation bias for a belief system that’s occurring in the mind that is always a lie, always a lie. You guys are perfect. You guys are exactly like Bob said, you guys are whole, you guys are complete, you guys are worthy, you’re stronger, capable, all of it. So that’s why I love that Bob said that is there’s no more attachment. There’s no more attachment to outcomes. There’s no more attachment to people. There’s no more attachment to beliefs, whatever is happening is happening for me. I’m learning from it. I’m growing from it.
So thank you so much. Thank you so much, brother, Bob, for being on The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. I’m going to turn it back to you to close out here, is there anything you would like to add, closing out this interview. Anybody in the Phoenix there, you’re looking for air-conditioning, by the way, this is your guy. This is your guy, Bob’s your guy. If there’s anything you want to add, brother, about anything at all, turn it back to you one more time.
[00:36:13] BL: I mean, as you’re talking the last couple minutes, the thing that, I know you use the, we’re all puzzle pieces to fit together before. One of the things that I like to use is you know how our fingerprints are all unique, there’s seven billion people on the planet, we all have unique fingerprints. We can lose our fingers and still function. If you can imagine how unique our being is, our soul, our alpha self, we’re supposed to be that in this world. We are so much more important than our fingerprints. We’re so much more important than our name, or where we live, or what title somebody has given us and it can change.
You can be a, for me example, a businessman or an air-conditioning guy, that’s not who I am. It’s just what I do. It’s just part of what I do on this journey of life that I am. At some point, I might not want to do that anymore. I’m free to change that. I don’t need to attach myself. I used to think that this is who I am. This is what everybody knows me as. I felt stuck, like I just have to be that thing, the rest of my life. I realized now that, I don’t really care what other people title me as or know me as or whatever that is, because I can change it, if I’m free to change it. Through the deconditioning, I’m becoming more aware of what I want, not trying to be what everybody else wants me to be. So just being my unique self.
I have noticed by going through that people are way more receptive to me. I mean, the people that my employees at the company they just, they warm up to me a lot better. I think they can sense my authenticness, they can sense my genuine care for them, and they want to do better, they want to work harder. My kids are doing the same thing. I’m starting to see my oldest boys start and turn a corner. He’s listening to podcasts. He’s starting to go on that path too. I’m watching that, becoming that leader of just being myself and that’s who I’m supposed to be. I believe every human being is supposed to just be themselves.
[00:38:24] KA: Yes. Yes. Love it, brother. As you can all hear all of you guys listening to the podcast, the student has become the master. I love it, Bob. I love it. Thank you so much for being on The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. That’s what we have for you guys today, until next week. For all of you out there, elevate your alpha.
[OUTRO]
[00:38:49] ANNOUNCER: Thank you for listening to this episode of The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. If you enjoy what you’ve heard and want even more, sign up for Unleash Your Alpha: Your Guide to Shifting to the Alpha Mindset at thealphamalecoach.com/unleash.
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