Welcome back, my brothers, to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. Today, I have an episode that’s going to take your mindset to the next level. I am diving deep into the fascinating concept of “stuck energy.”
Have you ever found yourself unable to let go of past events, replaying them endlessly in your mind? In this episode, we’re going to explore the concept of rumination and how it holds us back from experiencing life in the present moment. I’ll provide you with actionable strategies to break free from this cycle and release that stagnant energy, allowing you to embrace the here and now fully.
We’ll also uncover the thought-provoking habit of creating problems just so we can be the ones to solve them. It’s a pattern that many of us unknowingly fall into and I’m here to help you break the cycle.
Join me for this transformative journey, where you’ll gain insights into the cognitive mastery and alpha mindset required to become the confident, influential man you aspire to be. It’s time to elevate your alpha and unleash your full potential!
What You’ll Learn from This Episode:
- The concept of “stuck energy” and how it relates to rumination.
- Learn the significance of being present in your own life.
- Practical strategies and tips to release stagnant energy.
- Discover the thought pattern of creating problems just to solve them.
- Releasing stuck energy to free yourself from the mental prison of false truths.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
- Remember to check out the new How to Live Your Purpose course.
- Enroll for the Elevated Alpha Society Spartan Academy here.
- Sign up for Unleash Your Alpha, your guide to shifting to the Alpha mindset.
[INTRO]
[0:00:09] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast, the only podcast that teaches men the cognitive mastery and alpha mindset that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence.
Here’s your host, certified life coach, and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud.
[EPISODE]
[0:00:32] KA: What’s up, my brothers? Welcome back to The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. I am your host, Kevin Aillaud. Before I jump into the content of the podcast today, I just want to give you guys a very quick update on myself. I sometimes do this. I own a home in Oregon and I’ve owned this home since 2012, I believe. I ran my gym here at CrossFit Human Evolution Labs from 2006 until 2013. I believe that was right. I left in 2013, went overseas, and started opening gyms internationally, but I had my gym and I bought a home and I lived in it for one year.
Ever since then, my friends, my brothers, my family, I have rented it. Sometimes I go through a change of tenants and I just went through them. My tenant from the past couple of years just left, I got a new tenant in. The reason why I’m sharing this with you guys, not that it’s breaking news, but the reason why I’m sharing it is because had I not gotten a new tenant, I would be telling you, my brothers, that I would be staying in Oregon for a while. I would be moving into my home in Oregon and doing some renovations, doing some changes, some build-up in the backyard, maybe an ADU, an auxiliary dwelling unit, and putting in an extra unit in the back.
That’s not going to happen now, because I have a tenant that signed a new lease on October 1st. I’m going back on the road. That’s what I’m telling you, brother. I will be going back. I’m getting back on a plane. It is. It’s happening. Where I end up, I don’t know, but I will let when I get there. The possibilities, I want to say, are limitless, but we are limited actually to planet Earth, at least at this point, we’re limited to planet Earth.
The possibilities are within the realm of this planet, but that is really the extent of the limitation, brothers, and it could be anywhere. I’ll let you guys know as soon as I know, but let’s get into the content today.
[0:02:28] The content today actually, it’s from this term that I’ve been talking about, this idea of stuck energy. I really want to go into it. In fact, over the weekend, I had a very clear example. My source gave me a very clear example, said, this is what you’re going to do the podcast on. It came to me. It’s like, okay, this is what I’m going to talk to the brothers about because it was such a very obvious example of what it means to have stuck energy.
The way it came across was so clean. So obvious. It was so beautiful that I wanted to share this with you guys because you’ll see it so cleanly. Then once you see it, you have that further ability to recognize it in your own life, in your own beingness, because the stuck energy is another way to say, lack of presence. Is another way to say rumination, ruminating. Another way to say, to have inner deafness, or worrying.
When I say this, I mean, it’s like getting in your head. To be in your head is another way to say you have stuck energy. Like I said, I’m going to give you an example, but first, I’m going to tell you a story. This is a story of stuck energy. It’s an old story. I think I’ve told you guys the story before on a previous podcast. I tell similar stories. I tell the same story over and over and over again, because we, as human beings, we tend to go through the same lessons over and over again. We’re all in different phases of our souls releasing of its forgetting. We’re all going through this, I want to call it evolution, this change. But it is change. It’s returning to the experience that is free, right? The experience of oneness.
We’re all moving there, but we’re all in different stages of that journey, right? Because we’re all moving there, we’re all in different stages of that journey. All of these stories, whether Buddhist stories, Christian stories, whether they’re Sufi, Muslim stories, whether they’re Hindu stories, none of that really matters. They all resonate with us. They all tell us the same thing. They all say the same thing. The stories that I tell often, at least on this podcast, are the story of the farmer and the villager, which you guys might remember, the maybe, maybe not story. Also, this story, and I don’t tell it as often, but it’s a great story of understanding what it means to have stuck energy, to not be present.
[0:04:45] It’s a story of the master monk and the student monk. The teacher monk and the student monk. They were returning from the marketplace to the temple out in the country, right? They’re going from the city to the country and they’re walking and they’re going out and they’re on this path and they’re on this road together and they’re walking together side by side in silence, very present, experiencing the bliss of presence. They come across a stream, very narrow, shallow stream, and yet, there is a lady standing at the stream, who appears to want to cross and yet is not crossing. She’s not crossing. She doesn’t want to get wet, her feet wet.
The senior monk, master monk, teacher monk, however, you want to call me, in one effortless graceful, powerful motion, as he and his junior, as he and his student are walking side by side, swoops and takes this woman across his arms, without breaking a stride, walks across the little stream, a shallow, narrow, flowing bit of water. Then just as gracefully as he swooped her up, picked her up, he sets her back down onto the ground and continues walking. All of this done without a word being said, or a pause being taken in the walk.
Now, of course, because there was nothing being said, he never stopped. He never stopped. He never picked up. He never asked permission. Nothing. As if he didn’t pick her up and walked across the stream, it was almost that effortless. Of course, it blows the mind of the junior monk, who wonders what just happened. It is outside of our vows to not only touch a woman, right? Because these monks have taken vows of celibacy and chastity and all these things. Not only touch a woman but to take her across your arms in such a way, such a familiar way that the junior monk just cannot believe what he’s seen.
He’s dumbstruck and he’s wondering, he’s thinking the rest of the trip back to the temple, back to the countryside, what is he going to say to the other monks? What has he seen? He’s seen his teacher, his guru, his master break vows, break solemn lineage vows. You know, does he say something to his teacher, which he’s too embarrassed to say anything to his teacher. Does his teacher have – does he know something? Does he have some special knowledge? Is something special of this woman that he should have known, or the river, perhaps, or maybe the time of day, the position of the sun? Or maybe it was the time of year, the position of the stars.
He’s thinking about getting back and he – what does he say to the other monks? Does he tell the other monks what he saw? Does he be “a rat”? Does he tell on his master? Or maybe it’s not so much telling on his master, as much as just sharing this news, this information, this thing that he saw that he can’t understand. This is happening in his mind, he’s going over and over and over in his mind. Until finally, they approach the temple, they reach the countryside and approach the temple, and they can see it. It’s within their visions. A 100 yards, and now a 100 feet as they approach.
Finally, the junior monk can’t stand it anymore. He breaks his silence. He breaks the silence and says, “Master, you must tell me. What do I do? What do I do? What did you do? What did you do? What did I see? What do I do with what I saw?” The master, he said, “What? What are you talking about? What have you seen? What have you seen, my young disciple, my own student? What is it? Tell me. Tell me what you’ve seen.” The student doesn’t understand this answer. He’s like, “What do you mean? What do you mean, what have I seen? I’ve seen you break your vow. I’ve seen you touch a woman. I’ve seen you lift a woman up into your arms and carry her across a river.” The master said, “What? When did you see? When did – Where? Where? Where? Where did this happen? You were seeing this? Where are you seeing this?”
The junior monk says, “No, no. It was back there. It was back at the river. Remember, you picked her up and you carried her across the river.” Then the master says, “Oh. Well, I put her down. I put her down many, many meters, many, many hours ago, miles, hours ago. Why are you still caring her? Why are you still hanging on to her?” That’s the end of the story.
Of course, that’s – everybody’s like, “Oh, okay. I get it. Yeah.” Because the junior monk is caring. He’s not present. When the master monk first asks like, “What did you see? What are you seeing?” The master monk is thinking, “Oh, the junior monk is seeing something here now.” He cannot believe he’s seeing something of vision, an epiphany, an insight. It’s so powerful, he must tell his master and he can’t hold it back. Then when he tells him it’s from the past, “Oh, so you’re just hanging on. You have this energy that’s stuck.” There was energy in the moment, the moment you saw that.
[0:09:51] Here’s what I mean by stuck energy. Stuck energy is the rumination. It’s the memory. It’s the turning over and over again in your mind of an impression, of a moment, of a moment that happened but hasn’t been allowed to pass through you yet, because you’re clinging to it. You’re hanging on to it. That’s that clinging that the Buddha talks about, the clinging mind. You hang on to that thought and it runs and runs and runs, so it becomes stuck.
Of course, what are thoughts? Thoughts, thoughts are energy. Thoughts are moving energy, right? Thoughts are part of the energetic realm of mental and mind. We have this energy that’s moving, it’s moving through and then it gets stuck and you hold on to it, and you cling to it. Even the physical part of it. It’s what the monk saw. It’s what the junior monk saw. He saw that and that also is moving energy. We are moving energy. We’re moving cellular energy. We’re moving molecular energy. At the quantum level, everything is just the same energy, right? Cells and molecules, they’ve all become the same. Sticky goo of oneness. But it’s still energy and you’re still seeing, you’re still observing, you’re still witnessing it. We’re touching it in our eyes, touch light, our ears touch, sound, all of the five senses are a form of touch.
We touch that energy, but then it gets stuck because we hold on to that energy. You see, that junior monk held on to the energy of what he saw, that energy of the impression, the idea, the image got stuck. Now, that’s the story, right? That’s the Buddhist story. What I witnessed was something similar. I went to the trampoline. It’s not actually a trampoline park. I want to say it’s a trampoline park, but it does have trampolines there. It’s got a lot of bouncy trampolines, but it’s also got slides. It’s got rings and swings and zip lines and an obstacle course. It’s more of a parkour place.
I could imagine that if you had a kid that was into parkour, this would be a great place to get them practicing before they go out onto the streets and do their free running. That’s the place it is. Great, great stuff. I went there with my brother and my niece and my niece’s friend. We picked up my niece’s friend and we took the two of them. My brother and I are watching my niece’s friend on this trampoline. It’s one person at a time on the trampoline, this particular area, because of the size and you bounce off the walls. It’s a wild place. You can jump on the trampoline, and bounce off the walls. The walls are made of trampolines, so you’re bouncing. It’s just crazy.
There was this little boy wanting to get on the trampoline, but my niece’s friend was on it. I just watched the interaction between the two of them. A little boy was pouting and sulking and he was calling her name, saying, “It’s my turn, my turn. You’ve had enough time. You’re being selfish, da, da, da.” My niece’s friend is saying, “It’s first come, first serve. I’ll get off when I’m done. Just wait your turn. Be patient, blah, blah, blah.” They’re going back and forth and I’m watching this interaction. It’s all very fascinating.
Of course, then my niece comes over and my niece’s friend, they’re doing their thing, then this boy that becomes – I don’t know what happened, but for some reason, he gravitated towards them, or they gravitated towards him. They became this thing, where the trampoline was being used and my niece’s friend was on it, then my niece was on it and he stepped away. Then they slipped in. Things got weird. The whole thing about it was once we left, I’m watching this. I’m just laughing. I’m just having a good time laughing at this because I don’t know. To me, this is all just happening, right? Because for me, it’s just incarnation. For me, it’s the unfolding of perfection as it occurs.
Whatever’s going on, whatever’s being said, whatever’s being felt, whatever’s being done, it’s happening. I’m observing and doing what I usually do, which is laughing. Laughing, off-gassing that energy of the way I flow energy through me is usually with some laughter. Then my brother says, “Okay, girl. It’s time to go. It’s time to go. We had our time there and we’d have to go.” The stuck energy comes in, as we drive home, we’re talking about things and stuff and what we’re – and the girls start talking about this boy, right?
They start talking about this boy and it’s so fascinating because I can feel it. I’m sitting in the car while this is happening. I can feel the energy of both the girls and my brother. When I say feel the energy, of course, I just mean, I’m being present. I’m just observing. I’m not in my head. I’m not thinking about my thoughts. I’m more just in my body, right? I’m just present in my body. It’s almost like an awakening meditative state. I can feel the girls, right? Because the girls are back there ruminating on like, “Did we do the right thing?” I can hear a little defensiveness, right? They’re explaining their selves like, “Did we do the right thing? Did we treat this boy kindly? Were we nice? Did we stand our ground and enjoy our time, while at the same time, make space for everybody to have a good time and for him to enjoy? Did we get off in time? At the same time, we wanted to be on there” and all of that.
I could hear, they’re rationalizing, right? Rationalize. They’re replaying it over and over and over and over in their mind. My brother’s doing it, too, which is so fascinating because my brother’s doing his version of it. Of course, as the parent, his version of it is to repeat over and over and over again, what he wants his daughter to learn. Every so often, as I hear my niece and her friend, so my niece’s name is Reagan and her friend is Harley. Harley and Reagan, they’re talking and talking and talking.
Every so often, my brother comes up with, “Well, I’ll say it again,” and he says it again like, “This is what I would have done, da, da, da, da, da, da.” Then Harley and Reagan go off and they – and then that creates a little bit of a whirlpool, right? That creates a little bit of a vortex of energy because once my brother says that, then of course, what is my assumption, just pure assumption. I’m just rolling this in my mind as what could be happening based on the A-line that I’m observing from my niece and her friend is, I’m thinking, okay, so he says that maybe she’s not thinking, okay, “So, I’m going to need Daddy’s approval, right? Did I do the right thing?” Now, she’s getting more defensive with what she’s saying.
Then he says it again, the same exact thing. Now, she says it again. Then he says it again, and she says it again, and then her friend says it again. I can see it, right? It’s so wild. I’m just smiling and laughing, of course, because the source is coming through, like me this is the podcast. This is what my family needs, right? This is what my brothers need on the podcast because it was happening so clearly that almost the entire ride home, I could have said anything about to anybody, about like, “Where are we? What road are we on?” We can talk about colors, we can talk about places, we can talk about – but just being here, like, how do you feel, right? There’s so much of the presence that was being missed, but this isn’t even the “big deal,” right? None of it’s a big deal, right, brothers? None of it’s a big deal, because it’s all unfolding in perfection. It’s all the lesson.
[0:16:17] Even that, even the ruminating as a thing is still a part of the shadow. The gift is in the shadow. From the ruminating, we find the insight, but we find the insight only when we become aware of our ruminating and we allow that ruminating to relax. It’s a surrender. It’s a letting go. It’s a breath, right? You breathe, you relax. It’s like preparing yourself for a massage. You get on the table, you get ready, and then you take that deep breath out and you feel your whole body just, “Whooo,” right?
It’s the gift in the shadow. None of it’s bad, none of it’s wrong. We just find that that ruminating, it gets stuck. It gets stuck as energy. Now for my niece and for her friend and even my brother, this was an obvious example of something I wanted to share with you, brothers. Now, what does this look like in your lives? Well, here’s the thing. In your lives, we are adults, right? We’re adults. My niece is 11, and when energy gets stuck for her, part of how she moves it through is with the talking and we blow it through and see if we can come to some mental surrender, right?
Which is the letting go. Which is the, okay, it’s in the past, right? It’s gone, it’s behind you and you let it go. Again, she’s a kid, she’s a child. As adults, where is our ruminating? Where is our unconscious thought patterns? Where do our limiting beliefs exist? Unfortunately, they’re not so superficial to use the term as it means, as it’s defined by on the surface. Because as an 11-year-old, it’s on the surface. It’s right there. She just left that trampoline part. She just left the trampoline part and she’s thinking about it and she’s ruminating on it. She’s talking about it and it’s happening and it’s there and stuff.
That’s why it’s important for kids to talk about experiences when they’re really highly, highly, highly traumatic, because if they don’t, they get stuck in their head and they get ruminating, and that energy gets moving. As adults, we don’t talk about it, right? We just don’t. It’s from maybe years of rumination. There might have been something that happened that got stuck as energy in our childhood, teenage years, and early adulthood. Then we ruminate it out, but we ruminate it on it, not in a way where we’re aware of it. Not in a way where we’re talking about it in the back seat of a car ride on the way home from when it just happened. You see?
As adults, we pile it down, we stuff it down, we hold onto it, we hold onto it. We make it true, we repeat it over and over and over and over and over again until it’s true. Then we live in the prison of that false truth. That’s why we begin with the thought downloads, brothers. We begin with the thought downloads because we got to figure out what is the stuck energy? What is it? What is the thought? You can reverse engineer the model any time you want. We do that often in the academy. We take it from the results because it’s not always it’s so easy to go into your mind.
For some contemplative humans, human souls that have incarnated that are more in the contemplative sway of their energy, they can do a meditative state and go in and see the thoughts. Observe and become aware. For others, it requires the thought download. We have to write them down. We have to look at them and see them. For others, we have to reverse engineer the model, all right? We have to look at the results in our lives. We have to see what is the tangible stuff that we’ve created, that we’re working with. What are we being given as lemons that we’re now offered, offered to create and make lemonade out of it? I’m not saying that there’s a good or a bad. I’m not saying that we’re making a good situation out of a bad situation. I hope that you guys know that.
If this is not your first podcast episode, then I know that you know that. I’m not saying that. What I’m saying is that the results in your life, whatever going on in your life, in result, is coming from your actions. Your actions are being driven by those thoughts, by that energy. In order to change it, we have to release the energy. That’s one of the big, I want to say, misunderstandings, perhaps, of the personal development community, the personal development industry as a whole because we’re not developing anything. We’re actually demolishing. To be completely honest or truthful, to be as accurate as in our statements, as accurate in our communication as possible. We’re not personally developing. We are personally demolishing.
[0:20:55] What are we demolishing? We’re demolishing the not-self. We’re demolishing the limiting beliefs. We’re demolishing the stories that hold us back from recognizing and remembering who we truly are. Again, it’s a story. You guys have heard me say over and over again, everything is story, everything is story. It is story. It is story. The same way, it’s just story, what my niece and her friend are talking about in the back seat, it’s story. It’s happened. It’s done. It no longer exists. Here we are in the car driving home. They have the story running in their mind of what is not happening. I’ll even go so far as to say of what never happened because if we were to ask that boy what happened, he would tell us a different story. According to him, that story is true, but that story didn’t happen either.
Well, no more than the story that the girls are telling. Because the stories aren’t what’s happening. The stories don’t happen. It happens and then we’re free of it. You see, it happens and then we’re in the next happening. What happens is no longer there. It’s only what’s happening. What’s happened is the stuck energy. That’s what we let go of. That’s what we release. It’s like a heavy backpack. You just take off and come back to the present. Leave the past. Leave the backpack in the past. Leave it behind you. There are no problems here. There are no problems now.
If I were to ask any of you to point to a problem, point to it, show me, where’s the problem? Point to a problem in your life. You can’t. I hesitate. You guys know how I feel about the word can’t. I use it very, very sparingly. I’m using it intentionally. You can’t. You can’t point to a problem. You can explain to me a problem. You can tell me a story of a problem, but you can’t point to something in the world and say, “There. Look, see? That.”
Conceptually, do you guys understand that? Because once you point to something, and I look at it, then you’ll have to explain to me why what you’re pointing to is a problem. Because what I’m looking at isn’t the problem. What I’m looking at is the circumstance. You have to go that extra step and tell me a story about it to make it a problem. That’s why I know it’s not there. It doesn’t exist. You can’t show me a problem. You can’t show me. You can’t point to anything that’s a problem in this world. You can only tell me a story about why you think it’s a problem.
There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not trying to be condescending, or judgmental. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not saying that we are not moving towards remembering, that a part of that moving towards remembering is being forgetful. Are problems, the same as being forgetful? Maybe. Now, we’re talking about a definition of a word.
I just want to talk about stuck energy. I just want to say to you guys, look, be here, be now. Look and see. See what is it. What are you pointing at? What is there? What is it? You’re pointing at the floor. I see glass shards. I see milk. Where’s the problem? What? I see glass. I see milk. What? What’s the problem? Oh, the story that you’re telling me is that the glass should be on the table and the milk should be in it. You see, it wasn’t supposed to fall off the table and break. That’s a problem. It’s not a problem unless you have the story. You’re just pointing at the ground. Show me. Show me where it’s a problem. Show me. Point to it. Without the story and say, “There, that is.”
Why? Why is it a problem? Now you can tell me, because of the why, because of the story. To look at it, it’s not. That’s presence, brothers. That’s to be present. That’s to be here to see it. To see it as it is, as we are, as all must be. Because otherwise, your energy gets stuck. Your energy gets stuck in what? In creating problems just so you can find solutions. That’s exactly what I was talking about a couple of weeks ago. That’s the arsonist and the firefighter being the same person. Start in the fire, just so we can put it out. That’s the stuck energy. Let’s ruminate on this problem, so we can find a solution. Make ourselves important, and busy.
No, no. You’re here. Breathe. Release the energy. Release it. Let it go. Bring your thoughts, bring your mind back to here, back to now. Breathe and relax your body. These are all techniques that we work on in the academy, brothers. I love you, guys. I will see you next week. Until then, elevate your alpha.
[END OF EPISODE]
[0:25:54] ANNOUNCER: Thank you for listening to this episode of The Alpha Male Coach Podcast. If you enjoy what you’ve heard and want even more, sign up for Unleash Your Alpha: Your Guide to Shifting to the Alpha Mindset at thealphamalecoach.com/unleash.
[END]
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