Ep #58: The Impossible Goal

[INTRODUCTION]

[0:00:09.6] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to The Alpha Male Coach podcast. The only podcast that teaches men the cognitive mastery and alpha mindset that it takes to become an influential and irresistible man of confidence. Here is your host, certified life coach and international man of mystery, Kevin Aillaud.

[EPISODE]

[0:00:32.5] What’s up my brothers, welcome back to the Alpha Male Coach podcast. I am your host Kevin Aillaud and I am really excited about this episode. I mean, I’m excited about a lot of episodes but I’m really excited about this episode. I’m so excited in fact that I’m going to take a break from the emotion series and introduce to you to one of the most powerful processes I have ever learned and executed in my life.

I am injecting this episode in the middle of the motion series because I want to explain to you what it is and invite you to join the Spartans and participate in what we are going to be doing in December and throughout the year 2020. It’s really fun, it’s really exciting and it will truly pull your wig back when it’s over. Which means it will blow your mind, brother.

You won’t believe what happens in such a short time. The process is called, The Impossible Goal and it’s a methodology that came from several of my teachers over the years, teachers like Tony Robbins, Martha Beck, Byron Katie, Dan Sullivan, Brook Steel, Pema Chödrön and Joe Dispenza, just to name a few.

Now, it’s funny because sometimes people tell me that it’s irresponsible of me to tell people that they can achieve impossible things and of course, you all know me and how I am just always pushing the counterintuitive button on people and flipping the script. I just say, irresponsible? How is that irresponsible? I think it’s irresponsible to tell people that they can’t achieve what they currently think is impossible.

[0:02:16.3] I’m never changing my stance on that, I will never soften my message and I will never say well, maybe we should just all be a little bit more realistic, maybe we should all just sit down and complain a little bit more. That will never be me, you can count on it. There are people who sit around and complain and make excuses and there are people that will light their own fire and blow their own minds.

I like hanging around with people that want to blow their own minds. Like really prove to themselves that they can do hard things. I want the people who are willing to be uncomfortable. Check this out, I was a gym owner, I think most of you guys know that and I programmed some pretty spicy workouts, you know, some of these workouts, I look back on my earlier years of coaching and I say, “Jeez, that was really stupid,” right?

What we did, I mean, I even set it out loud and my buddies would agree with me, the guys that did thee workouts with me. In the beginning of running my gym, I only allowed members who were in the military or firefighters or police officers. I got a lot of people who were in the military and I got a lot of firefighters to join.

Those men and women remained in the gym when I opened it up to everyone, to all people. It was really those men and women who that looked back and we laughed at some of the workouts we did because they were just brutal. And now yes, they seemed at the time, impossible, right?

[0:03:36.8] I would write them and we would look at t hem and are like, no, there’s no way we could finish that, it’s not possible to finish. They were grueling, they were very uncomfortable. They made that 24-hour endurance race like a stroll around the block, right? That’s the kind of workouts I’m talking about and we did them. We did all of them.

We were all improved like we were all better for having accomplished it. You know, yes, it took a long time and yes, we were sore and we were tired but we all learned something from it, each in our own way, we all became more of who we are, we all became the better version of ourselves because we did things that everyone, even us at times, thought was crazy and we suffered together and we survived together and we succeeded together. We were willing to be uncomfortable to reap the rewards that come from discomfort, which is massive growth.

Let’s talk about how you take action on your impossible goal, that’s why I love this impossible goal because you learn so much and in the Sparta Agoge program, in December. We’re going to choose and prepare for achieving an impossible goal over the year 2020. Now, the purpose of having an impossible goal is many. There’s many reasons for having that impossible goal and I will review them here in a minute but we also need to be able to take action from today, right? We need to understand that future-focus thinking is a result of cognitive mastery and emotional ownership but being in the moment is where we take action.

[0:05:05.1] On this episode, what I’m going to talk about is how do you have an impossible goal and live from that future and believe from that future and then also take action today, also be in the moment, if that is something that is interesting to you, you must join the Spartans, you got to get on board with this program and get started with the process in December. Ideally, before the first but any time in the first two weeks of December will work.

What is an impossible goal, coach? What are you talking about, Kevin? So many of us think small, we just do, we think in terms of what is possible and when we think about what’s possible, we create futures based on our past. We create futures that are possible and the way we determine what is possible is what we’ve already done, right? We know what we can do.

We’ll say, “Well, this is what I have been able to do so that’s what I will be able to do in the future.” By the way, most people live their lives this way and that’s why their lives looked pretty much the same for the rest of their lives. They stop creating, they stop believing beyond their recurrent capacity and they stop growing.

My philosophy with myself and my team is that you must have an impossible goal and you must work towards believing it. Now, of course, you won’t believe it yet because it’s impossible and your brain will tell you that it’s impossible. You just tell your brain to settle down, just tell your brain to take it easy, tell your brain you already know that it’s impossible and that’s fine.

[0:06:35.7] But as soon as you have declared an impossible goal, you have expanded the way your brain is thinking and then you have the process of believing in it, that is thee mental work that we want to do. That is cognitive mastery, we want to identify, we want to start identifying with ourselves from our future, we want to start practicing believing in that goal.

We really want to generate the vision and the excitement and the emotion that comes from thinking in a way that is beyond our current capacity. Thinking in terms of impossibility. What is impossible now, brother, will be possible later. This really expands our vision and requires us to think in a bigger way. We always want to be asking our brains to think in a bigger way.

That being said, we also have to bring it back to the present. I mentioned my gym earlier because I want to use the example of weightless which is something I worked with my students on hundreds of times, it’s something I think we can all relate to, you may be interested in losing 30 pounds but you’re not going to lose 30 pounds today.

I used to joke with my fitness students, who would want to lose weight quick. I would tell them, “If you want to lose weight the fastest, you just go ahead and cut an arm of because that’s the fastest way to lose weight.” Now, of course it was a joke, nobody laughed and then we would discuss the real process, we would go into future focus thinking and believing we are the person who is 30 pounds lighter and even though we’re identifying with ourselves 30 pounds later and we’re living from that place and we’re thinking from that place and we’re believing from that place.

[0:08:08.3] Today we have to talk about what we’re going to eat, we have to talk about our food protocol today. We have to talk about our next meal, we have to talk about our training plan. How do we bridge the gap between this impossible goal that we have for ourselves, right? In the future. And our immediate reality today, the moment, right now.

How do we plan to make say $100,000 for the year, when we’re currently at zero or a thousand bucks, right? Now, the way I want you to think about this in terms of goal setting is not in terms of the how, and not in terms of even the math, right? Which we’ve done before, like the blueprint.

That is the easy part and its kind of useless in the bigger picture, right? Because it compromises about 2% of the overall importance. I think it’s important to understand that you can believe in your goal of losing 30 pounds and know that you’re going to lose 30 pounds. But if that’s all you focus on, it will seem too big and too daunting in the today, like in the now and the fact that you’ll get on the scale and you will have only lost one pound or maybe you will have even gained a pound and that 30 pounds will seem so far away that you’ll just give up on your goal.

It doesn’t matter what the goal is, it could be money, it could be relationship, it could be weight loss but it’s all the same. If fit’s too big, you’ll lose sight of it. Being able to live and kind of straddle those two concepts is important. It’s maintaining a future focus thinking while staying in the present moment. How do we focus on the here and now to generate that impossible goal for ourselves?

[0:09:41.2] Now, here’s something I want you to know. All impossible goals are created on a pile of failures and you have to set each day up with the willingness to fail, you have to say, today I’m going to eat every single thing on my food protocol without fail. Today, I’m going to make 25 offers without fail and you may fail, right?

You have to be willing to fail but you’re not going to fail in the taking of the action, right? But you might fail in the result that you want to create. For example, your willingness to fail will come from, “I’m going to eat perfectly on the food protocol. I’m going to eat everything that I said I was going to eat, that I’ve decided 24 hours ahead of time that I’m going to eat. Then, I’m going to stand on the scale and I may not have lost any weight and that’s okay. I’m going to continue to take action.”

I’m going to continue to believe in my impossible goal, I’m going to continue to be willing to fail my way there. The difference is in the expectation. You might fail in expectation but you won’t fail in taking massive action. The same thing as making offers, right? If you’re in sales, I have a friend in sales and earlier in the year, she made about 32 offers with no sales. That’s how we do it, that’s the process.

Because all of a sudden, when it clicked for her and she started making sales, the belief she had in herself became a reality when she continued to take action to create the reality that she believed in. here’s the thing, are you willing to keep taking actions? Are you willing to keep failing based on your expectation, all the way until you’re there?

[0:11:21.7] Now, I’ve noticed that a lot of students that they set these huge impossible goals for themselves ,which of course I love, right? That’s what we’re doing. Huge, impossible goals that really make you afraid, but then they try to take huge actions as their first steps, they try to lose five pounds in one day or they try to make $8,000 in their first month when they’ve never made a dollar before in their business.

It’s important that you bring your goal down based on what you can do today. You got the impossible goal for the year but then we make this little goals for today based on the actions that we take. If you made $1,5000 last month and your goal this month can be $2,000. And then we build on that, right?

We build on that and we get momentum and then we can fulfill that goal in the end. When we try and get the result immediately, we’re just missing the point, brother. And here’s why, if we set a goal to lose 30 pounds and we commit to believing in that goal, even though it’s impossible and we release having to know the exact how that we get there, then we can start taking action.

How do you know what action to take? Just take the action based on where you are today. Now, if you are taking action because you need evidence, in order to believe that you will achieve your goal or else you’re going to give up on it, then you’re doing it wrong, right? Your action that you take is not about the evidence.

[0:12:44.4] This is what I’ve seen so many people do. They set these big goals for themselves and then they expect themselves to lose five pounds in the first five minutes or to make $8,000 in the first month. And then when they don’t, you know, when they don’t get that evidence, then they just give up on their goal, it’s over, it’s done. Oops, it’s not me, I can’t do it.

They give us so quickly because there’s no evidence and what they’re saying is, “I’ll believe in that goal as long as this first month starts producing evidence right away. If it doesn’t then I’m out.” What I’m suggesting is first of all, you set the big goal, right? Second of all, you come back to today and you start taking action that makes sense based on what you did yesterday that is reflecting on what is possible for you today. And then you keep building the momentum from there.

If you don’t get results right away, then you shift back to your belief, right? You go back to cognition then you come back to take action in that next step. You shift back to your belief and then you start taking action as your next step. It’s very easy to get confused by this to set a big goal for yourself and then expect the goal to start manifesting, you know, to start creating evidence this minute. Now, the problem is, we don’t believe hard enough yet, right? In the beginning, our results are usually pretty dismal because we’ve just started practicing believing something.

Because our results are dismal, we sacrifice the goal because of the lack of evidence. You know, we set ourselves up for failure in the beginning and then we stop taking action. You know, one of my amazing students is trying to get into Fire Academy. He’s done all the research and he’s made all these efforts and just hasn’t been able to get into school and he’s looking at evidence like money, right?

He’s looking at his finances and he decided, forget it, it’s too hard, this isn’t going to work, I’m not doing it right, I’ll do something else so actually what he’s saying is I don’t know what should be doing. Even though he knows he wants to be in the Fire Academy. He’s asked himself what he should be doing because he doesn’t believe that he can get into Fire Academy.

Which granted, I’m going to say, for many people would probably say, “Yeah, look, you’re probably right, it’s not working, there’s a ton of evidence that won’t work, you should probably give up, you should probably focus your attention on something else.”

[0:14:56.0] And that is where most of us land and that is why most of us stop setting goals for ourselves. But what he is doing instead, which I love, again he doing the Spartans, he is one of my warrior brothers, what he’s doing is, which I think is so super important he’s decided. He’s made this decision to do the models and do the work and get coaching and have awareness about himself and what is going on for him and we always want evidence, right brother?

We always want that. We always want proof that something will work in order to believe in it, right? And we are willing to believe in impossible goals as long as the evidence comes pretty quickly and I’ve had some students recently, like I mean recently like in the last week since we started looking at this December work who have told me I believe in my impossible goal with all of my heart and I am going to tell you guys I know that they don’t because they aren’t producing results.

Now, how do you know where you are in this process? I am going to give you a really good way to evaluate yourself, as you are moving towards your possible goal. The action that you are taking now will move you forward even if your results aren’t there, okay? So for example, if we are back to the weight loss, right? If you eat on your food protocol you are moving towards your impossible goal. If you eat on your food protocol and pay attention and make adjustments you are moving forward.

Even if you are not getting the results you want yet you are taking action towards the goal. And even though you are failing because the results aren’t there, the number on the scale maybe fluctuating, doing all sorts of different things, you are still moving forward. Now if you have set yourself up to be immobilized because you have made your next action step either too challenging, so you can’t actually do it so you are not taking action, you will not be moving forward.

[0:16:45.8] You won’t even be failing forward. People will say to me all the time, “Well, I am failing at my goal because I am not taking action.” And that is not what I am talking about. You have to be failing forward. You have to be taking action and getting different results. Taking in action, taking a different action, keep moving forward. You might need to just adjust your protocol, right? You might need to change the way you are doing it, your sales call, right?

You might need to change your approach but you keep taking action based on what is present, based on what is the circumstance, what is the present moment giving to you in your life today. You can’t say, “Well I need to lose 10 pounds today.” Which some of you guys do and you do it with money too, “You know I need to lose 10 pounds today in order to achieve my possible goal. So therefore I won’t do anything because I recognize that I am not going to be able to lose 10 pounds today.”

Like, “I need to create $3,000 today in order to achieve my possible goal. So therefore, I am not going to do anything because I recognize that I am not going to be able to make $3,000 today.” And I want you to think about your own life and I want you think about your own impossible goal and ask yourself the question, are you continuously taking massive action towards the goal that you have set for yourself and one of the reasons why you may not be doing that is you have confused an impossible goal with impossible daily steps.

Your daily steps and your daily fails can’t be impossible that is what we’re going to be doing all through the year of 2020, is working on daily steps to get to the impossible goal. Those have to be things that you can do and actions you can take and you can move forward and you are willing to experience the result of any kind of failure that result, so you can adjust it and just keep taking action towards your impossible goal. It is not a failure in terms of expectation.

[0:18:35.2] It is a failure that you are learning from your result and making that adjustment, just because your goal out there in the future is impossible, doesn’t mean that your actions today are impossible. So I am going to give you an example of my own goal and my own work that I am doing on this. As most of you know, who have been listening to podcast I have a goal that I would like to make in my business to create $1 million in one year and I have given myself three years to make that happen.

Now what that looks like for me today is creating this podcast and a webinar. I’m recording this podcast now, recorded the webinar earlier. It is not that I need to create $10,000 today. That is not my daily task. That is not what it looks like because I wouldn’t even know how to begin to wrap my mind around that but I do know how to create a webinar. I do know how to create value for my students. I do know how to do a coaching call.

I do know how to ask a question from one of my students and help them where they are right now. That is the action that I am taking today to produce the ultimate goal that I have in my mind that is my impossible goal. The action that I am taking today isn’t impossible. Now, well I get the result that I ultimately want today that will prove that I will make $1 million within three years in one year but over three years, probably not, right?

That is not the result that I am going to get today. Let me give you another example of this. There are times when I do a webinar or I sell something and the response is huge and I get an overwhelming response. People want to be a part of it, they want to sign up, it is a wonderful thing. Now that is something that I can use as evidence that I am on my way to growing my business. There are other times I put out a webinar and I just get a few people to sign up.

[0:20:22.3] Maybe I have one or two or three participants but the trick is I am willing to do the webinar, right? I am willing to make the offer and I am willing to fail at that and keep moving forward. If I did a webinar today and nobody showed up and nobody signed up, would I still be committed to believing in my possible goal even though I failed there? The answer is yes. And you know what I would do is the next best thing, which is to evaluate the webinar, right?

Evaluate the process that I followed to create it and people’s feedback on it and create it in a different way. Because that is my next best action is to learn. It is not based on making a million dollars. I am still holding that space for that and I am still believing in that but my goal today is based on what happened yesterday. It is based on what happened earlier in the day. That is my next best action and here is the truth, if you just keep taking your next best action.

The next thing that you know how to do, the next thing that you know how to figure out, all those little steps are what lead you to the ultimate big step. When I look back on my life and all the businesses that I have created and I looked at what I was doing even three years ago that seems like it wouldn’t bring me closer to my goals and then over time they just appeared to me one day because of all of these small actions taken over time. I think it is so important to think big and then to act small.

To act on these smaller things to build up to the bigger thing and that is why I think people feel immobilized because the goal seems too big and they seem too far away from it. You know that is what that cliché means that — when people say what is it, the longest journey starts with one step but it is really true. That is really how you get there. It is one step at a time it is just the first step which is what most people think. It’s like I got to take this first step to start my journey.

[0:22:14.0] But the next step and the next step and they are all little steps, nobody is taking huge in a one mile long steps. We are all taking steps, small steps you know three foot steps to get to our destination. It is one step at a time, you have to take the next step in front of you and even though you trip, even though you fall, you get up and you take another step. You know that is what all of those little steps are, what build up to that impossible goal that destination.

So you have to ask yourself, what is that first, next step? And what is so fascinating about it is you think the goal is so big, right? Like this goal of $1 million that is a ridiculous amount of money and students and the size of my business has to be huge, right? But if I start thinking about how do I do that I get totally immobilized. But if I think about what do I need to do to help my students today, just today in this moment, which I know is the next best step to getting there that I can go work on.

And that I will go to work on and be creative about and believing what all my heart and from that place of having done it, no matter what happens. And I want to tell you just as a final note and as a way to evaluate yourself where you are in your life, you know one of the reasons why you want to have that big goal out in front of you, right? One of the reasons why you really want to join the Spartans and begin this journey for yourself to create this possible goal and watch yourself along this path, is because it gives you a reason to endure the failures.

You want to have a reason to keep going when the results and the evidence isn’t there. It is very, very, very rare that you are going to set a goal and have it be impossible and have it be big and out of your comfort zone and only have wins all the way to it, right? That is just so rare. I don’t know if that has ever happened. I don’t think I have ever heard of anyone that it has been quite like that, right?

[0:24:17.8] Who’ve had these huge goals and it was just so easy, it was just win-win-win-win. The best success stories that I have, still feel like there are a lot of fumbles along the way. I mean take a look at any football game, every Super Bowl win, think about it, every Super Bowl win had mistakes. It had fumbles, it had turnovers, it had fourth downs, right? It is not always a success every single play. It is not one team just constantly getting a touch down every play.

But when you keep playing the game, when you keep going you never look back and think about all of those times it didn’t work out. You know when we look at some of the names in our society of people who we think are at the top, I mean you know these names. I will just name a few, Warren Buffett, Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk and all the celebrities, professional athletes. You know all the people who are on the top of their game. No one had a one way ticket.

Every single person had setbacks and failures to get where they are, you see that. It is just this big collection of things that did work out and a bunch of things that didn’t work out. To re-evaluate and take more action. That’s what creates the win. So everyone in the Spartan Agoge Program is going to have or has already — by the time this podcast comes out an impossible goal. And I also want to make sure that you don’t use that impossible goal whatever it is as an excuse to feel bad about yourself.

As an excuse to feel immobilize because you don’t know what to do next. What you do next is what’s right in front of you. What is the next logical step based on what you did yesterday. If you didn’t make any money last month, this month your goal should be to make a little bit of money. Not a lot of money, not a ton of money just a little bit of money and if you think of little goals like that won’t get you to your big goals then you are doing it wrong.

[0:26:08.2] You got to stay focused on what you can do right now that will help you get towards that. You know, maybe I can’t lose three pounds tomorrow but I can stay on my food protocol and I can stay on my training protocol for a week and I can then pay attention. That is what I can do. Maybe I can’t find the woman of my dreams tomorrow but I can introduce myself to two women I find attractive and I can do that every day for a week just to have a conversation with them and I can pay attention.

That is what I can do. Even if I am not getting the results that I want I can keep taking that action. That small consistent action knowing that if I do, eventually I will create the results that I want. Do you know what doesn’t create the results you want? Quitting, giving up, doing nothing, saying that doesn’t work, convincing yourself you can’t. This is what will never work for you. That does not get you the results that you want. It never will.

Saying that your impossible goal is impossible and then stop taking action towards it, will never get you there. What gets you there is continuously taking the next best action. Even if you fail, even if you don’t get the results you want, keep moving forward.

All right brothers, I know that that was a long one. I mean I am really excited about this month in the Agoge. I am really excited about what we are going to be doing in December, setting up for the impossible goal. And then throughout the year 2020 as we execute and work on achieving that impossible goal and that is what I’ve got for you today. It is how to take impossible goal action. It is setting a huge big goal for yourself, blowing your own mind, thinking from that goal, getting excited about it, creating a vision and then do a little task that is right in front of you today. That is how you will get there. And if you want to be coached through it to get even better results to manage your mind and build capacity beyond your current beliefs then again, check out the Spartan Agoge program.

That is what we are doing. That is what that community is for and I want to welcome you. I want to invite you. I would love to have you on the team and guide you through this process of helping you help yourself create an impossible goal and executing every day to make it your reality.

That is what we are going to be doing in December and throughout the year 2020 in the Spartans. Are you ready to create your impossible goal and elevate your alpha?

[END OF INTERVIEW]

[0:28:29.4] ANNOUNCER: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Alpha Male Coach Podcast. If you enjoyed what you’ve heard and want even more, sign up for Unleash Your Alpha: Your guide to shifting to the alpha mindset, at the alphamalecoach.com/unleash.

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